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Thread: Alpha Shit and Giggles Thread

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    Default Alpha Shit and Giggles Thread

    AKA, a thread to be silly! Being serious is not allowed! Denied!

    Let your funny bone fly free here!



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    The Evening and the Morning Star Eudaimonia's Avatar
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    How do you do fellow Alphas, ESE here. I certainly do love to play with legos and be alpha n shit. I def go in HARD on some hot cocoa with toasted marshmallows.
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE | WEPL | 3w4 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    Let your funny bone fly free here!
    Well, as everyone here have noted I'm the most serious person here.


    Fine, I will saw off my leg and give it a spin. This is something what we call "a wooden leg joke" here and a very actualized embedded version of that. I'm seriously amazed.

    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type
    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

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    The United States of America has separate federal, state, and local governments with taxes imposed at each of these levels. Taxes are levied on income, payroll, property, sales, capital gains, dividends, imports, estates and gifts, as well as various fees. In 2010, taxes collected by federal, state, and municipal governments amounted to 24.8% of GDP. In the OECD, only Chile and Mexico are taxed less as a share of their GDP.[1]

    Taxes fall much more heavily on labor income than on capital income. Divergent taxes and subsidies for different forms of income and spending can also constitute a form of indirect taxation of some activities over others. For example, individual spending on higher education can be said to be "taxed" at a high rate, compared to other forms of personal expenditure which are formally recognized as investments.

    Taxes are imposed on net income of individuals and corporations by the federal, most state, and some local governments. Citizens and residents are taxed on worldwide income and allowed a credit for foreign taxes. Income subject to tax is determined under tax accounting rules, not financial accounting principles, and includes almost all income from whatever source. Most business expenses reduce taxable income, though limits apply to a few expenses. Individuals are permitted to reduce taxable income by personal allowances and certain non-business expenses, including home mortgage interest, state and local taxes, charitable contributions, and medical and certain other expenses incurred above certain percentages of income. State rules for determining taxable income often differ from federal rules. Federal marginal tax rates vary from 10% to 37% of taxable income. State and local tax rates vary widely by jurisdiction, from 0% to 13.30% of income,[2] and many are graduated. State taxes are generally treated as a deductible expense for federal tax computation, although the 2017 tax law imposed a $10,000 limit on the state and local tax ("SALT") deduction, which raised the effective tax rate on medium and high earners in high tax states. Prior to the SALT deduction limit, the average deduction exceeded $10,000 in most of the Midwest, and exceeded $11,000 in most of the Northeastern United States, as well as California and Oregon.[3] The states impacted the most by the limit were the tri-state area (NY, NJ, and CT) and California; the average SALT deduction in those states was greater than $17,000 in 2014.[3]

    The United States is one of two countries in the world that taxes its non-resident citizens on worldwide income, in the same manner and rates as residents; the other is Eritrea. The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of imposition of such a tax in the case of Cook v. Tait.[4]

    Payroll taxes are imposed by the federal and all state governments. These include Social Security and Medicare taxes imposed on both employers and employees, at a combined rate of 15.3% (13.3% for 2011 and 2012). Social Security tax applies only to the first $132,900 of wages in 2019.[5] There is an additional Medicare tax of 0.9% on wages above $200,000. Employers must withhold income taxes on wages. An unemployment tax and certain other levies apply to employers. Payroll taxes have dramatically increased as a share of federal revenue since the 1950s, while corporate income taxes have fallen as a share of revenue. (Corporate profits have not fallen as a share of GDP).

    Property taxes are imposed by most local governments and many special purpose authorities based on the fair market value of property. School and other authorities are often separately governed, and impose separate taxes. Property tax is generally imposed only on realty, though some jurisdictions tax some forms of business property. Property tax rules and rates vary widely with annual median rates ranging from 0.2% to 1.9% of a property's value depending on the state.[6]

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dazu View Post
    The United States of America has separate federal, state, and local governments with taxes imposed at each of these levels. Taxes are levied on income, payroll, property, sales, capital gains, dividends, imports, estates and gifts, as well as various fees. In 2010, taxes collected by federal, state, and municipal governments amounted to 24.8% of GDP. In the OECD, only Chile and Mexico are taxed less as a share of their GDP.[1]

    Taxes fall much more heavily on labor income than on capital income. Divergent taxes and subsidies for different forms of income and spending can also constitute a form of indirect taxation of some activities over others. For example, individual spending on higher education can be said to be "taxed" at a high rate, compared to other forms of personal expenditure which are formally recognized as investments.

    Taxes are imposed on net income of individuals and corporations by the federal, most state, and some local governments. Citizens and residents are taxed on worldwide income and allowed a credit for foreign taxes. Income subject to tax is determined under tax accounting rules, not financial accounting principles, and includes almost all income from whatever source. Most business expenses reduce taxable income, though limits apply to a few expenses. Individuals are permitted to reduce taxable income by personal allowances and certain non-business expenses, including home mortgage interest, state and local taxes, charitable contributions, and medical and certain other expenses incurred above certain percentages of income. State rules for determining taxable income often differ from federal rules. Federal marginal tax rates vary from 10% to 37% of taxable income. State and local tax rates vary widely by jurisdiction, from 0% to 13.30% of income,[2] and many are graduated. State taxes are generally treated as a deductible expense for federal tax computation, although the 2017 tax law imposed a $10,000 limit on the state and local tax ("SALT") deduction, which raised the effective tax rate on medium and high earners in high tax states. Prior to the SALT deduction limit, the average deduction exceeded $10,000 in most of the Midwest, and exceeded $11,000 in most of the Northeastern United States, as well as California and Oregon.[3] The states impacted the most by the limit were the tri-state area (NY, NJ, and CT) and California; the average SALT deduction in those states was greater than $17,000 in 2014.[3]

    The United States is one of two countries in the world that taxes its non-resident citizens on worldwide income, in the same manner and rates as residents; the other is Eritrea. The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of imposition of such a tax in the case of Cook v. Tait.[4]

    Payroll taxes are imposed by the federal and all state governments. These include Social Security and Medicare taxes imposed on both employers and employees, at a combined rate of 15.3% (13.3% for 2011 and 2012). Social Security tax applies only to the first $132,900 of wages in 2019.[5] There is an additional Medicare tax of 0.9% on wages above $200,000. Employers must withhold income taxes on wages. An unemployment tax and certain other levies apply to employers. Payroll taxes have dramatically increased as a share of federal revenue since the 1950s, while corporate income taxes have fallen as a share of revenue. (Corporate profits have not fallen as a share of GDP).

    Property taxes are imposed by most local governments and many special purpose authorities based on the fair market value of property. School and other authorities are often separately governed, and impose separate taxes. Property tax is generally imposed only on realty, though some jurisdictions tax some forms of business property. Property tax rules and rates vary widely with annual median rates ranging from 0.2% to 1.9% of a property's value depending on the state.[6]

    Too much logic! *gets magic logic begone stick* Keep that hellish black magic away! BEGONEEEEEEE!



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    One time I scared a hare khrishna or some other random Indian guru follower away by talking about the ship of theseus

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Maybe they misheard you.
    Narcissists like you misinterpret everything.
    Mother of dragons.

    my youtube

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    Quote Originally Posted by Meg View Post
    Narcissists like you misinterpret everything.

    I'm slow, but I got it. I just didn't delete my post fast enough.

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    Hmm imagine me taking over the world and having as many Alpha NT men at my beck and call….I think that’s what heaven would look like~



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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I'm slow, but I got it. I just didn't delete my post fast enough.
    Quite honestly I didn't even understand what you were trying to say. I assumed it was some joke that went over my head

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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    Quite honestly I didn't even understand what you were trying to say. I assumed it was some joke that went over my head

    It was intended to be a joke, but was obviously not a very good one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    It was intended to be a joke, but was obviously not a very good one.
    So what was the joke?

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    Hmm imagine me taking over the world and having as many Alpha NT men at my beck and call….I think that’s what heaven would look like~
    And how do you plan on taking over the world?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    So what was the joke?
    SMH, gammas over here arguing about "what's a joke"

    Everything is a joke and completely serious at the same time, because the distinction doesn't really matter much in the end.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    SMH, gammas over here arguing about "what's a joke"

    Everything is a joke and completely serious at the same time, because the distinction doesn't really matter much in the end.

    I think that ouronis is not Gamma. He's rational without the Darkness, and that points to LII.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    SMH, gammas over here arguing about "what's a joke"

    Everything is a joke and completely serious at the same time, because the distinction doesn't really matter much in the end.
    I'm not arguing, I just didn't get it. bitch

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I think that ouronis is not Gamma. He's rational without the Darkness, and that points to LII.
    Well it'll be up to him to prove his alpha-ness

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    Everything is a joke and completely serious at the same time, because the distinction doesn't really matter much in the end.
    That's my life motto right there bro

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    this is what peak alpha humour looks like
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCSz4ssUvcU

    I tried looking for something funny to share from my liked youtube videos but everything I got is way too meta. I suppose Alpha humour is very in-joke/reference based. Especially internet and imageboard humour.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    And how do you plan on taking over the world?
    I have a couple. Though, the golden plan seems to be me contacting a witch and having a black magic ritual in which I will put all the most powerful leaders in the world under my command. I will get them to sign a contract that will insist I am a leader of the new free world. I would also be campaigning in the meantime to make sure that I am the true and new coming leader of the new world. A new era, a new pariah! If not, back to the witch.

    After my new palace or pyramid has been built, I’ll have it filled with all my little alpha buddies and gold. Then I will have my little Alpha NT harem with them being scantily clad and cute collars. I won’t be that mean though, they will be fed well and lots of activities for them to do. I will also achieve world peace. Ah yes…it will be nice ruling the world!
    Last edited by MissDucki; 09-10-2021 at 11:43 AM.



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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    After my new palace or pyramid has been built, I’ll have it filled with all my little alpha buddies and gold.
    A rough design have already been made

    mid.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    A rough design have already been made

    mid.jpg
    Scary as hell, if you ask me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    A rough design have already been made

    mid.jpg
    @rtht you are my personal forum designer. I think we need to get married! Also, I fucking love it



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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Scary as hell, if you ask me.
    We alphas have have to make up for our easy going nature

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    @rtht you are my personal forum designer. I think we need to get married! Also, I fucking love it

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    Hmm imagine me taking over the world and having as many Alpha NT men at my beck and call….I think that’s what heaven would look like~



    Imagine the smell
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE | WEPL | 3w4 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eudaimonia View Post


    Imagine the smell

    Eau de mount dew and B.O~

    I'm thinking on getting more 'hot cute nerd' in my harem mostly.....there are attractive alpha NT men! .....If not...plastic surgery is an option....
    Last edited by MissDucki; 09-11-2021 at 01:39 AM.



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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    Eau de mount dew and B.O~

    I'm thining on getting more 'hot cute nerd' in my harem mostly.....there are attractive alpha NT men! .....If not...plastic surgery is an option....

    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE | WEPL | 3w4 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by PseudoRandomBSGenerator View Post
    Well, as everyone here have noted I'm the most serious person here.


    Fine, I will saw off my leg and give it a spin. This is something what we call "a wooden leg joke" here and a very actualized embedded version of that. I'm seriously amazed.

    And somewhere, Pinocchio is having an existential life crisis

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eudaimonia View Post


    That's my type. Send him my way.



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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    I have a couple. Though, the golden plan seems to be me contacting a witch and having a black magic ritual in which I will put all the most powerful leaders in the world under my command.
    Ah, of course black magic, what could go wrong?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    Ah, of course black magic, what could go wrong?
    I could summon a demon. He might be hawt so...not too bad. I could release a plague too, but where already dealing with that. Doesn't seem tooo bad I think.



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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    I could summon a demon. He might be hawt so...not too bad. I could release a plague too, but where already dealing with that. Doesn't seem tooo bad I think.
    But what if:
    You died
    Your family died
    The witch died
    All world leaders vanished
    People don't accept your rule
    New Zealand is wiped off the wipe
    All alpha NT's suddenly hate you
    All alpha NT's suddenly die
    The witch possesses you
    You get trapped in a magic box
    You are permanently oriented upside down

    And those are just the obvious risks of engaging in black magic

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    But what if:
    You died
    Your family died
    The witch died
    All world leaders vanished
    People don't accept your rule
    New Zealand is wiped off the wipe
    All alpha NT's suddenly hate you
    All alpha NT's suddenly die
    The witch possesses you
    You get trapped in a magic box
    You are permanently oriented upside down

    And those are just the obvious risks of engaging in black magic

    Yolo, I want poweeerrrrrrr



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    We need some drama in here....


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    Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke, Poke.........................POKE!



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    Hehe

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    A rough design have already been made

    mid.jpg
    what on earth

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    what on earth
    We kidnap and torture 15 craftsmen from delta quadra to do the design...

    Apology.... their hand were shaky, so design need work

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