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Thread: Adventures in Dating

  1. #1321
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Echo View Post
    hmmm. I’m kinda on the fence about DCNH. Maybe I never understood it properly but I couldn’t quite see how it naturally tied into the rest of socionics theories
    Well, you can just take it as an empirical description if I say Normalizing, you don't have to accept anything.

    It has to do with how the type is put to use, and certain emphasizes. I think it's pretty easy to observe, even if one doesn't know the theory, it's enough to read through what Gulenko has written on DCNH.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

  2. #1322
    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    LIE to lesbian ESI interior decorator, who is also helping him with his life: I found an ESI on Match.com, and I want you to be my Cyrano to her Roxanne.
    ESI: What are you talking about?
    LIE: I want you to write an intro for me, because I always say exactly what I'm thinking, and I'm afraid that I'll come off as a rapist or an axe-murderer when I first contact her.
    ESI: You're not a rapist. That's bad. You're....just....aggressive.
    LIE: Yes. Aggressive. That's what every GF has ever said about me.
    ESI: Don't say rapist.
    LIE: Look, I like sex.
    ESI just stares at me: OK, let's get to this. Show me her Match post.

    LIE calls up the ESI post on his computer.

    ESI: She's pretty. I approve. Hey, her pictures show that she likes adventuring!
    LIE: She's a nesting model (Fi), not a sports model (Se) like you, but she's still an ESI. She probably likes to challenge herself all the time. Maybe more than me.
    ESI: You challenge yourself. You're always doing something, all the time, to improve your life.
    LIE marvels at the way ESIs interpret what I do to avoid terminal boredom.
    ESI goes straight for the "Start the Conversation" box.

    LIE: NO no no. Let's type this out in Word first. Just to avoid accidents.
    ESI: OK. I'll compose, you type. (She has trouble with reading and typing, but not with anything else.) ESI starts to dictate and LIE transcribes.

    LIE, reflectively: You know, I'm not sure that I want to get married again. I mean, I'd get married to a woman who could have kids, but this woman is past that point.

    ESI continues to dictate, with frequent back edits and super bad grammar.

    LIE: Plus, she's not that hot. She looks like my best friend in high school, and he was a guy. That's going to be a problem for me. A big problem.

    ESI seems to not be listening to the LIE and is now reading out loud what the LIE wrote, to see how it sounds. Does it flow the way she wants it to flow? Her speech, which she is replicating, has atrocious grammar violations, but is pure ESI, and this is actually what I want. My experience with talking to ESIs over text is that Duality is nowhere in sight in text conversations and LIEs sound like aliens to ESIs. This is exactly why I'm having her write the introduction. The target ESI will read it in an ESI's voice and will think I'm normal. Normal to her.
    It's a lot like hunting ducks with decoys. Plus, the ESI interior decorator sees virtues in me which I don't see in myself. Virtues that all ESIs see.

    LIE: Yeah, I'm worried that she's not as hot as a sports model ESI like yourself, and I won't be able to get excited over her.
    Have I mentioned that the ESI interior decorator is smart, slender, admirably toned and beautiful? It is a world-class travesty that she only sleeps with women, but there is nothing I can do about that.
    ESI continues to thoughtfully rearrange furniture to get everything perfect from her perspective.

    LIE: I just hope she's good at blowjobs.

    ESI freezes. Whatever she was thinking is completely out of her head, replaced by something else. She pauses and tries to pretend that she's not pausing. Maybe she's thinking that I'm an astounding asshole but she's still on my side. Maybe she's blowjob-curious, despite being a lesbian. I have no idea what she's thinking. Then she gets it together and says
    ESI: OK, how does this sound?

    Hi Roxanne,
    My name is Adam, it’s great to meet you. The adventure and relationship intimacy that you expressed wanting drew me to your profile, and of course, your good looks too.

    People say that I am a nerdy engineer who loves connecting with people and traveling to new places, and chasing solar eclipses.

    I am currently focused on creating a chapter in my life that prioritizes health, growth, and having fun with people whom I like.

    If you are interested, I would like to take you out on a date.

    Would you be interested in a casual hike, followed by a meal together? I’d be happy to come in your direction, or find a hike in my neck of the woods, Ann Arbor.

    It sounds horrible and great at the same time, just like a wooden duck, floating on a pond.

    We'll have to wait and see if it attracts any real ducks.
    Match.com reported that, in response to my outreach above, the ESI in question looked at my profile three days ago, and chose not to respond to me.



    It is so hard to find a person who meshes well with me. I can put forth what I think is my best effort and it completely misses the target, while I get inquiries all the time from women whom I don't want to know.

    My track record in finding a suitable ESI is not good, and it doesn't help to know that at least half the fault has to be with me. Well, maybe most of the fault is with me. It's hard for me to know whether I'm high-value and particular, or if I'm just too screwed up in ways that I can't see, to be attractive to normal women.

    Oh, well.

  3. #1323
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Match.com reported that, in response to my outreach above, the ESI in question looked at my profile three days ago, and chose not to respond to me.



    It is so hard to find a person who meshes well with me. I can put forth what I think is my best effort and it completely misses the target, while I get inquiries all the time from women whom I don't want to know.

    My track record in finding a suitable ESI is not good, and it doesn't help to know that at least half the fault has to be with me. Well, maybe most of the fault is with me. It's hard for me to know whether I'm high-value and particular, or if I'm just too screwed up in ways that I can't see, to be attractive to normal women.

    Oh, well.
    Maybe she just took a look at you and decided no. What it says in a profile or in a message only starts to matter if you pass the visual.

  4. #1324
    dewusional entitwed snowfwake VewyScawwyNawcissist's Avatar
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    i find dating and socializing often has the same issue of limited information exchange. you can end up wasting ur time on the wrong person, or u can pass by the right one bc u make the wrong assumptions based on limited information that u just scroll past.

    astronomy and optics expert
    not perfect, not a narcissist, but raised by one
    actually successful entrepreneur and CEO

    avid reader
    story teller
    psychology and personality types research. LIE-Te (thats like ENTJ but can be like other types ) looking for ESI-Fi (thats like ISFP/J but can be other types)
    thick wallet, tons of sex and big cocc
    adventurous
    robot needs love
    actually warm inside
    workaholic (is an issue)
    i give head i take head

    LF woman who: takes me away from work
    tons of 53x
    gives head
    helps me get rid of excessive or superfluous items (dont get discouraged if you dont know if its ur strength)

    aesthete (appreciated but not a required)
    adventurouse
    preferably my age

    **emphasis on principles < i wonder if ESIs can care about that in particular or see it as cringe i can see both, maybe more mature ones can value it. what would an ESI-Fi have suffered or felt dissatisfied by, that you make up for but dont mention?

    what if ur kind of intimidating.

    wow just as im typing this an ESI texts me to meet. to be continued if ever.

    edit: i wish everything was said more eloquently but yah i have brain issueis why doesnt someone with more ease of access to a sophisticated and concise vocabulary help out
    Last edited by VewyScawwyNawcissist; 07-10-2024 at 05:01 AM.
    https://linktr.ee/tehhnicus
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  5. #1325
    Adam Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VewyScawwyNawcissist View Post
    i find dating and socializing often has the same issue of limited information exchange. you can end up wasting ur time on the wrong person, or u can pass by the right one bc u make the wrong assumptions based on limited information that u just scroll past.

    astronomy and optics expert
    not a narcissist
    avid reader
    personality types research. LIE-Te looking for ESI-Fi
    thick wallet, tons of sex and big cock
    adventurous
    **emphasis on principles < i wonder if ESIs can care about that in particular or see it as cringe i can see both, maybe more mature ones can value it. what would an ESI-Fi have suffered or felt dissatisfied by, that you make up for but dont mention?

    what if ur kind of intimidating.

    wow just as im typing this an ESI texts me to meet. to be continued if ever.
    Thanks, Vewy. I'm keeping most of this, for future use.

  6. #1326
    dewusional entitwed snowfwake VewyScawwyNawcissist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Thanks, Vewy. I'm keeping most of this, for future use.
    update notification
    https://linktr.ee/tehhnicus
    Jesus is King stops black magic and closes portals

    self diagnosed ASD, ADHD, schizotypal/affective


    Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality

    I want to care
    if I was better I’d help you
    if I was better you’d be better

    Human Design 2/4 projector life path 1




  7. #1327

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Match.com reported that, in response to my outreach above, the ESI in question looked at my profile three days ago, and chose not to respond to me.



    It is so hard to find a person who meshes well with me. I can put forth what I think is my best effort and it completely misses the target, while I get inquiries all the time from women whom I don't want to know.

    My track record in finding a suitable ESI is not good, and it doesn't help to know that at least half the fault has to be with me. Well, maybe most of the fault is with me. It's hard for me to know whether I'm high-value and particular, or if I'm just too screwed up in ways that I can't see, to be attractive to normal women.

    Oh, well.
    She may also have started seeing someone else but it’s still early days so she hasn’t deleted her profile yet. You never know. I’ve had tons of ignored messages like that. Online dating is obligatorily horrible for everyone involved, and it is designed to be that way. Ultimately, the more stable, long term monogamous relationships that people form, the less money the app makes, because it lowers their active user base. Remember how apps used to let you search by keywords and you would get a long list of matches that you could look through at once? Now they are all swipe decks, which encourages you to match with people based on looks, not based on mutual interests or emotional compatibility. It’s revolving door dating. They don’t really give you any sort of meaningful ways to find people with much in common, so relationships don’t last that long. You see the same profiles pop up every 2 to 3 months. Match group was actually the target of a class action lawsuit because of this: https://www.npr.org/2024/02/14/12315...-group-lawsuit Pardon the tangent into shop talk, I’m a service designer so this is what I do for a living.

  8. #1328

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    I’ve liked or matched with a few duals and not gotten responses. I’m actually convinced that dating apps are the worst medium for meeting a dual, because they force you to make a snap judgment. But duals are the kind of people whose attraction sneaks up on you. They usually fall into the ‘not my type category’ at first glance.

  9. #1329
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    I said to my wife wow I look rough to which she agreed and told me it was a natural part of getting older and I was playing that foolish and dangerous game where you kind of fish for compliments hoping that my wife would say something along the lines of "don't be silly of course you look good!" But alas that did not happen...

  10. #1330

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    I recently tried online dating https://hitwe.com/asian/chinese-brides/ and decided to be open to new experiences. I matched with someone who seemed interesting, and we hit it off right away. We had amazing conversations and found so many shared interests. After a few weeks, we decided to meet in person, and it was even better than I imagined. We’ve been inseparable ever since and continue to grow closer every day. This experience taught me the importance of stepping out of my comfort zone. Sometimes, the best things happen when you least expect them!
    Last edited by Martex; Today at 02:42 PM.

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