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Thread: Adventures in Dating

  1. #801
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Katherine Fauvre was right about what? Link?
    The way loneliness manifests in 268. I didn't agree with it for myself before because I didn't agree that those actions were even just partially driven by loneliness.

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/gu81c08y3a...81%29.mp4?dl=0

    I'd forgotten what it was like…to sit down and enjoy mentally stimulating conversations with another person. To feel so drawn in that you just don't want the time together to end. When I look around at my social circle, I just keep seeing how I continuously find myself in that position of being the one who is promoting growth in others, teaching them, inspiring them, protecting them, motivating them, healing them, etc. Yes, I like to be the one on the giving end that way, but is that really what I want in a relationship? No. I want someone who…we each challenge one another in that way my therapist and I do with each other.
    As she said, though, it was lack of awareness.
    Last edited by Cat Lady; 08-10-2022 at 05:48 AM.


  2. #802
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    Holy shit. I just realized the reason I hate being misunderstood is because it makes me alone, and I fear that isolated disconnect from others.

    Amazing, how it all begins to tie in together and make total sense the moment that loneliness is acknowledged/recognized.

    Related...



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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    After a years-long disastrous liaison with an alcoholic and self-destructive redhead, my SLE-Ti buddy posted on his Facebook page the words "No More Redheads".

    I've been thinking about my own poor track record of dating, and while I don't have anything against redheads, I understand where he was coming from.

    I know that the problem has not been just them, but sometimes you really want to believe it was.
    Ahh, yes...the slippery slope dangers of associating personality/temperament with something stupid, such as hair color. Lack of understanding of the actual root cause of the issues (typical SLE).


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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    After a years-long disastrous liaison with an alcoholic and self-destructive redhead, my SLE-Ti buddy posted on his Facebook page the words "No More Redheads".

    I've been thinking about my own poor track record of dating, and while I don't have anything against redheads, I understand where he was coming from.

    I know that the problem has not been just them, but sometimes you really want to believe it was.
    While thinking about this more, I realized...I would be halfway willing to bet that somewhere in there, he's not taking accountability for his own actions/contributions in things. I might be wrong about that, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm right.


  5. #805
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    My friend laughs at how direct I am sometimes. I can kind of see why. I'm fucking brutal.

    Some guy: "I also get the feeling you enjoy listening to my voice"
    Me: "No, I don't get anything from your voice. I just prefer to voice chat."
    Some guy: "too bad! I been crushin on you lol rip"
    Me: "Why you crushin'? I don't mean to be a dick with my bluntness, but you don't really know me."
    (a few sentences were exchanged that I won't share)
    Some guy: "I am not trying to make you uncomfortable, I will keep those thoughts to myself from now on. My b."
    Me: "Probably better left unsaid, yeah. Makes things a bit uncomfortable and awkward."
    Some guy: "That's okay, I told you once I will always respect your boundaries. "

    You're damn right you will.




    A different guy was recently all...

    Me: I think you're too horny.
    The guy: Does it turn you on to see me X? (I can't remember what X was, even, but it wasn't a joke, he was legitimately asking me)
    Me: No. Actually, I find it kind of annoying.

    No fucks given.
    Last edited by Cat Lady; 08-10-2022 at 07:52 AM.


  6. #806
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    This isn't relevant to dating, but the mention of redhead stereotyping reminds me of a convo that I had this summer.

    On the 4th of July, a parks & rec supervisor from a different location came over to help us set up a stage. He was working on something beside me, and he complimented my hair color, saying that his daughters are gingers as well. He added that he has a ginger woman working for him and that she's "feisty." He then stated (seriously) that all redheads have "feisty" personalities.

    Edit:

    Also, I see a lot of guys online saying that redheads are "zeroes or tens with no in-between" in terms of physical attractiveness.
    I get a lot of messages online when guys find out I'm a redhead. I don't show my pictures, they just find out I have red hair. "Why'd you message me?" "The red hair" Ok then...(yes, that was part of an actual convo)


  7. #807
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    I had dinner after work with this ESI guy who is on the project. He barbecued a steak and salmon on the grill on his deck, and he's a great cook. We talked about our ex-wives and what went wrong, and the problems seem to be simply that our ex's were from non-Gamma Quadras. A clash of values, in other words.
    In talking about his life now, he described a female jogger that he'd seen while he was walking his dog, and he's definitely a horny Aggressor, which seems surprising coming from a guy who is so introverted. Lol.

    He's smart, funny, stable, and easy to get along with. Very much like the male ESI buddy I had in high school. Basically a great guy. Kind of looks like Adam Sandler.

    Why the hell can't I meet a female version of this? Every female ESI I've met (with the exception of the ESI-Se lesbian) doesn't seem to want to be in a relationship. I ask them out, we have one great date, maybe two or five, and then they become unavailable. In other words, they don't respond to my bids for attention, which is invariably fatal to a relationship.

    The problem could be with me, but I don't think it is. I've shown both this ESI guy and the lesbian artist ESI texts from some of the women that I've dated, and they both said "These women aren't treating you very well. You were right to drop them." That's an ESI opinion of another ESI, and in both cases, it's not coming from jealousy.

    My only conclusion is that I'm looking for something as rare as a needle in a haystack, and I just haven't found it yet.

    Fuck. My. Life.

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    I matched with another Estp (I think he is). He has a Jung quote about relationships on his profile so my matches do seem a bit more interesting these days. This seems to be since a. I put on my profile that I was looking for Estps (though later took it down). b. matched with a nice-enough Entp guy- but didn’t date him. Both recent matches liked me first…both Hinge.

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    Ok so the date with the Estp was ok, but didn’t fancy him. Estps are good at selecting photos for their profiles that make them appear attractive…I’m probably quite good at it too. We did find a nice cocktail place, apparently I really like cocktails. The Estp who liked Jung has gone mysteriously quiet on me, so I’m talking to a cute and interesting looking Esfp instead. A good start to the week after a boring weekend feeling sorry for myself
    Last edited by Bethany; 08-15-2022 at 07:29 PM.

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    Well, I’m back on Match again, looking for an ESI. The last one said she was only looking for a friend, and she meant it.

    So I spent an hour or so paging through the three or four hundred females that passed my filters and none of them appeared to be ESIs.

    I complained about this to my 27 yo lesbian ESI-Se decorator and she said she wasn’t surprised.

    I asked, “Why aren’t you surprised?”

    She said “Because ESIs HATE THAT SHIT!”
    “You should just get out there and LIVE!”

    I thought, Right. Sure. And in a million years, I’ll meet an ESI who is single, stable, intelligent and attractive.

    ”Do you have Tinder on your phone?”

    ”What? No. I’m not a twenty-something looking for a ten-minute date.”

    ”It’s not JUST for that. Match is the most boring dating site out there. Here. Give me your phone.”

    I handed her my phone and she downloaded Tinder onto it. She took a couple of pictures of me looking like a dope, asked me a few questions, and then handed the phone back.

    ”Here’s how it works. If you want to date someone, swipe right. If you don’t, swipe left.”

    A picture of a surprisingly attractive and intelligent-looking woman appeared on my phone.

    The ESI-Se said “She’s beautiful!”

    I said, “I think she’s my Identical, and I’m not looking to date myself.”
    This was a pointed remark to her regarding her decision to date a female ESI instead of me.
    I swiped left.

    She was gone and was instantly replaced by an intelligent and attractive ESI. Holy shit. This works.
    “That’s an ESI”, I said.

    ”If you want to date her, swipe right.”
    I did.

    After about the next ten Alpha females had been swiped left on, another attractive and intelligent-looking ESI appeared.

    Now I’m thinking that Tinder might be a good bet, assuming that any of the women whom I like, also like me. Those pictures that the ESI took of me were not flattering.

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    yeah @Adam Strange Hinge seems to be the best in the UK/my city. Tinder is still a bit trashy. Bumble..boring. Ok Cupid is a bit weird but occasionally interesting. I don't know about Match, there just seems to be a lot of free options to try before paying for Match, which you have to here. I did go on there once to see what it was like but I don't think I liked the look of anyone.

  12. #812
    confident alpha male with big penis mysteryofdungeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Well, I’m back on Match again, looking for an ESI. The last one said she was only looking for a friend, and she meant it.

    So I spent an hour or so paging through the three or four hundred females that passed my filters and none of them appeared to be ESIs.

    I complained about this to my 27 yo lesbian ESI-Se decorator and she said she wasn’t surprised.

    I asked, “Why aren’t you surprised?”

    She said “Because ESIs HATE THAT SHIT!”
    “You should just get out there and LIVE!”

    I thought, Right. Sure. And in a million years, I’ll meet an ESI who is single, stable, intelligent and attractive.

    ”Do you have Tinder on your phone?”

    ”What? No. I’m not a twenty-something looking for a ten-minute date.”

    ”It’s not JUST for that. Match is the most boring dating site out there. Here. Give me your phone.”

    I handed her my phone and she downloaded Tinder onto it. She took a couple of pictures of me looking like a dope, asked me a few questions, and then handed the phone back.

    ”Here’s how it works. If you want to date someone, swipe right. If you don’t, swipe left.”

    A picture of a surprisingly attractive and intelligent-looking woman appeared on my phone.

    The ESI-Se said “She’s beautiful!”

    I said, “I think she’s my Identical, and I’m not looking to date myself.”
    This was a pointed remark to her regarding her decision to date a female ESI instead of me.
    I swiped left.

    She was gone and was instantly replaced by an intelligent and attractive ESI. Holy shit. This works.
    “That’s an ESI”, I said.

    ”If you want to date her, swipe right.”
    I did.

    After about the next ten Alpha females had been swiped left on, another attractive and intelligent-looking ESI appeared.

    Now I’m thinking that Tinder might be a good bet, assuming that any of the women whom I like, also like me. Those pictures that the ESI took of me were not flattering.
    lmao she made a tinder account for you. how much you be paying her?
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

  13. #813
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    Quote Originally Posted by mysteryofdungeon View Post
    lmao she made a tinder account for you. how much you be paying her?
    I don’t understand what you mean. PM me because I’m clueless but curious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don’t understand what you mean. PM me because I’m clueless but curious.
    He's our resident troll. I don't think he meant anything as interesting as you're imagining, lol.
    "I use the U. S. Mail because I was never taught any different," she pleaded. "But I'm not your enemy. I don't want to be."

  15. #815
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    He's our resident troll. I don't think he meant anything as interesting as you're imagining, lol.
    No, no, mysteryofdungeon is fine, and I think he was trying to tell me something that I should know. Maybe.

  16. #816
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    My first relationship-
    we never should have dated.

    I was never attracted him, and I didn't yet know how to listen to my inner voice. He even turned me off, yet, we started hooking up. He was my first. Eventually, he gave me an ultimatum and I told him we could date, but let's keep it a secret. After a couple months, I convinced myself that I was alright with telling other people, that I felt proud to be dating him, that I wanted to be with him...
    He slowly stopped showing any physical desire for me. My number one love language is physical touch, and I'm an extremely physically passionate person. Because of internalized misogynistic shame surrounded sex, it took me ages to admit and address this with him, even though I hinted at it many times. It absolutely tormented me.
    He then said it was due to having taken antidepressants (Prozac/Sertraline) that he had a low libido, but it still took him awhile, and a lot of truly depressing nights for me, for him to make an effort.
    We went long distance for the summer, and I met my first love. I discovered what it feels like to truly be attracted to someone, and I cheated on him. Say what you want, but I will NEVER regret it. I only regret how I then dealt with the situation.
    It felt hard to leave my ex because I was very codependent with him. We had always had an extremely codependent Fi/Te dynamic. At the time, he also seemed perfect on paper, completely checking all the boxes. Yet I knew to stay with him, to be forever bound in this comfortable, wholesome, lifeless, blanched relationship, would be to commit my own SPIRITUAL SUICIDE.
    I told him I cheated, yet he still talked ME out of breaking up with him on two separate occasions, even though I had started becoming quite toxic to him. The third time I didn't let him stop me from ending it.
    Afterwards, he told me that his libido had actually always been fine, and oftentimes he would masturbate himself before I arrived at his place. It didn't hurt because I had stopped caring a long time ago. Because I never had even liked him, not like that: beyond friendship.
    Because I had finally accepted that I had never even been attracted to him at all either; just craving something so, so dearly, but from the wrong person.

    To be sexual-blind is to not trust the subtle intelligence of attraction.
    To be a sexual-blind 4 is to subliminally believe that you will never get the person you truly desire, need.

    Yet there is this characteristic about myself: which my parents have always insisted on, which on the night we parted, my ex told me he realized about me: that I am someone who wants what I want, and when I want something, absolutely nothing stops me. Except, well, myself. But, clearly, even then.
    And I suppose that's what it's like to be a sexual-blind, yet triple frustration, type. In some way, it's a terribly lucky counterbalance.

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