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Thread: Adventures in Dating

  1. #921
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeruleum Blue View Post
    Yes. For example, if everyone were extremely greedy and vengeful everyone could fight each other over wealth all the time and not like each other, not because of personality differences, but because of personality similarities. I guess if there were zero other people, the one person could just respond with psychosis and making up an imaginary dating partner and no one would be able to call them out, though.
    I'm still not convinced it's possible to dislike everyone else who exists. It may not be up to you.

  2. #922
    You better believe in conspiracies, Scrooge. Coeruleum Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    I'm still not convinced it's possible to dislike everyone else who exists. It may not be up to you.
    I never said it was people's decision, but I don't see any external factor compelling people to like each other. Mostly it seems to be internal factors, which are not necessarily conscious or chosen, but it's possible everyone could be of a temperament where they hated each other's guts but forced themselves to coexist anyways.



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    Zero adventures in dating. Tried writing to a couple of chicks on okcupid and Tinder. No luck so far.

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    Lolz, I actually think that one girl with whom we had something in the distant past might be an EIE. We tried having a some sort of relationship a couple of times but it all would end up quickly because of a burn-out. Don't you think this could be an activity relationship?

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    But she wants a serious relationship, a wedding and everything else. I would like to go slow. Super slow. I want fun, not problems.

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    re pics- I got a couple of hot matches when I updated my pic. It’s a decent pic, although not my youngest. I look happy, my LSE mate took it of us…takes a good pic.
    Last edited by Bethany; 09-25-2022 at 03:57 PM.

  7. #927
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    Yesterday, I met a woman in passing who knows this Gamma NT lawyer friend of mine. She was healthily attractive, had long, straight blonde hair (not my favorite style), wasn’t wearing a ring, and she immediately remembered my name.

    She was also intelligent. So intelligent, in fact, that I couldn’t tell her Sociotype. Just as insanity or unhealthiness can make it impossible for me to VI someone, apparently this works with high intelligence, too.

    Although, I type by comparison, and maybe she’s just outside my face list.
    Alternately, she could be one of the few types that I have a hard time “seeing”.

    Very strange.

    EDIT:
    She really was a puzzle. She was completely neutral towards me until I showed a goofy but intelligent interest in her, and then her interest in me took a clear and definite step up (to “polite possible”). She spoke clearly and definitively. She was clearly engaged in “mixing” behavior, looking for someone.
    If I had to associate her traits with Sociotypes, I’d say that she took great care of her body, like an LSI. Her face seemed to be somewhere between the super-intelligence of an ILI female and the smooth interest of an SEI. I was looking for ESI features but I didn’t really see them, although I don’t want to 100% rule ESI out.

    I like intelligence and it would be nice to have more intelligent friends, but my experience with going out with a very intelligent female LIE showed me that intelligence alone is not sufficient cause to maintain a relationship.

    Hell, even Duality, while being the most comfortable relationship, additionally requires common purpose. And that’s incredibly rare.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-25-2022 at 02:24 PM.

  8. #928
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    That angle doesn't work for everyone. I'm active at church, I help lead a Bible study, I teach STEM Outreach, I attend English Club, I go to the gym... Plenty of opportunities for a meet cute moment. Yet, nothing. (Nothing in terms of dating, of course. I obviously get a lot out of those activities in terms of health and enjoyment and fulfillment.)

    I don't want to be single forever. Even though I'm still quite young, I'm cognizant of the fact that the clock is ticking. Might as well get in the dating game before my age becomes a liability and before all the good guys are taken. I'm annoyed with myself for throwing a mental pity party whenever I see a happy couple. I'm bored of dreaming that I'll naturally stumble across "the one."

    Tinder it is! I'll probably wait until summertime though. More time.

    Anyhow, idk why the ESI would be unwise to use a dating app. If she's not finding romance in other arenas of life, that doesn't necessarily mean she's not engaged in other arenas. Nor does it necessarily mean that she's not being vulnerable enough. It probably just means she isn't meeting the right people through her activities. Dating apps quickly expose you to a larger pool of people, most of whom are interested in a relationship.
    The major problem with that assertion is that I'm guaranteed to be right about how major their attachment issues are. Dating Apps are a wonderfully effective way to hide behind a mask, a persona. You can be anyone online provided you're good enough at acting.

    If you're already in all those spheres and you're not like me up until recently (i.e. managing to be hikikomori shadowy lurker despite others reaching out somehow) than put out a feeler already! By this time you've already provided more than enough value to your group that they're concluded that you're well worth including into their "tribe" as it were. Once you've passed that threshold the next logical step is a full induction through the rite even the most savage and primitive of primates understand; Mating/Marriage.

    You already have access to a network of people who are fully intent on matching you with others who are more than willing to date people who are searching for marriage partners from day one! Lean into that damnit! All the things you claim to be in a leadership position in are great grounds to put out feelers in as well. If you feel guilty about using an authority position to benefit yourself, well, don't.

    This might be the Gamma mindset but you ought not feel guilty about using what you have at your disposal if it benefits others at least as much if not more than it does yourself...

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    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    You already have access to a network of people who are fully intent on matching you with others who are more than willing to date people who are searching for marriage partners from day one! Lean into that damnit! All the things you claim to be in a leadership position in are great grounds to put out feelers in as well. If you feel guilty about using an authority position to benefit yourself, well, don't.

    This might be the Gamma mindset but you ought not feel guilty about using what you have at your disposal if it benefits others at least as much if not more than it does yourself...
    Oof, no way could I bring myself to ask acquaintances to play match-maker for me. I'd be so embarrassed.

    They aren't by any means "fully intent on matching me with others." I don't know anyone who does that for others or has ended up in a relationship that way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Oof, no way could I bring myself to ask acquaintances to play match-maker for me. I'd be so embarrassed.

    They aren't by any means "fully intent on matching me with others." I don't know anyone who does that for others or has ended up in a relationship that way.
    At church?! I'm shocked they didn't try 2 set you up already. But people do end up in relationships and even married this way quite often. Probably way more often than a grocery store or gym meet cute.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquamarine View Post
    I find the concept of online dating so strange. Just meeting a random stranger that you're looking for romantically. It all seems too formal.

    I guess this just doesn't work for me. I take a very long time to warm up to people. Most people nowadays want to have their tongue down your throat by date number 3 the latest. Ugh. You're still a stranger!

    I do better around people that I meet as friends when there's no romantic intent (at least not from my side).

    Now I did meet one of my ex's online but we never met in person until knowing each other for almost a year. We were almost like best friends by then. Which is so different to trying to date someone you have no relationship with.


    I realize I'm somewhat peculiar with certain relationship things which doesn't make me a great candidate for online dating.

    I realize I have zero friends so I won't meet anyone that way either. I think people can sense that I'm miserable with life at this point.

    These were just some thoughts I had after reading a post above.
    I personally think this is the best way to do online dating. Maybe not a whole year, but talk for a long time before meeting up. If it stands the test of time it has a shot in person. Plus you get all the icebreaker talk out the way and get to the good stuff faster in person.

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    I can't do dating apps...or standard approaches to dating at all. I absolutely must get to know people before considering dating. I just can't even list the number of ways the standard dating approach creates potential for things to go wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I personally think this is the best way to do online dating. Maybe not a whole year, but talk for a long time before meeting up. If it stands the test of time it has a shot in person. Plus you get all the icebreaker talk out the way and get to the good stuff faster in person.
    I 100% disagree. It’s so much better to just go on a date. Spending weeks, months, a year(!) texting back and forth is a waste of time.

    If “hey wanna go on a date” is the first thing a man says to me on a dating app, I’m likely to say yes since I swiped right on him and he hasn’t given me a reason to say no.

    Send me a “hey what’s up”, and I’m likely to ignore you.

  14. #934
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    I 100% disagree. It’s so much better to just go on a date. Spending weeks, months, a year(!) texting back and forth is a waste of time.
    Exactly. And then when you finally meet you may not be compatible, or there might not be attraction. It's best to meet in person, and then one just has to accept that it might be necessary to go on lots of dates to find the right one.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    I 100% disagree. It’s so much better to just go on a date. Spending weeks, months, a year(!) texting back and forth is a waste of time.

    If “hey wanna go on a date” is the first thing a man says to me on a dating app, I’m likely to say yes since I swiped right on him and he hasn’t given me a reason to say no.

    Send me a “hey what’s up”, and I’m likely to ignore you.
    It’s also easy to build up an unrealistic perception if there’s too much texting back and forth before meeting. Besides some people are extremely dry texters, but are quite animated in real life and vice versa.

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    A video call or phone call can give you a glimpse into whether or not someone is worth meeting and getting to know. I have had phone calls where I could tell the guy was being very fishy and avoidant and others where the guy gave off “Norman Bates” vibes so I cut off communications.

    Any time I didn’t listen to my gut, I ended up in bad situations.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    I 100% disagree. It’s so much better to just go on a date. Spending weeks, months, a year(!) texting back and forth is a waste of time.

    If “hey wanna go on a date” is the first thing a man says to me on a dating app, I’m likely to say yes since I swiped right on him and he hasn’t given me a reason to say no.

    Send me a “hey what’s up”, and I’m likely to ignore you.
    I wouldn't do this on a dating app because there's already a set expectation that rushes the process, where people want to meet right away, but I still think it could happen on a dating app if you connect with someone, if it's real good over text I believe it has a good shot in person. But online if you connect with somebody yea I would not try to rush the process to meet.
    That's how it worked for me at least with my last two relationships. Not on dating apps though, but on random sites, I just connected with them, we talked privately for a long time and it was really good so we were both excited to meet the other person .

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    Quote Originally Posted by EIE H View Post
    It’s also easy to build up an unrealistic perception if there’s too much texting back and forth before meeting. Besides some people are extremely dry texters, but are quite animated in real life and vice versa.
    If the texting is dry yea it's gonna die out but if the texting is really good I see that as a good sign, plus alot of rapport is built before you two meet up, so in person is much less awkward. And people are alot more honest when they have a sense of anonymity protecting them, that's at least what I've noticed from online, people feel safer to share more (not dating apps tho). The connection gets deeper alot faster and when you meet up in person it's.... crazy really, like knowing so much about a each other but meeting for the first time is a crazy experience.

  19. #939
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    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    A hobby will work as well if it has a necessary social component (e.g. for me it's Martial Arts as any girl who's into that hardcore is quite likely to be a Dandy and thus likely an valuer). ESI's are pretty artsy (as are ILI's funny enough) so I'd lean into that sphere.
    Martial arts are filled with single women looking to date lonely men who aren't attractive enough for dating apps?

    I've always been skeptical of advice to "get a hobby."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    At church?! I'm shocked they didn't try 2 set you up already.
    Haha, I'm surprised that you're shocked. Is it really that common? I've never even heard of churches trying to set people up before End mentioned it on this thread. I'd genuinely feel relieved if someone tried to find a boyfriend for me but I don't think that's gonna happen and I can't bring myself to ask lol. On the bright side of having to navigate it alone, I obviously know who I'm attracted to better than anyone else.

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    Sometimes I think about asking guys out.. but I fear rejection too much. Or even worse than rejection, I fear a guy accepting the date not because he likes me back but because he likes that I like him. That's heartbreak saved for a later date. Also, even without the rejection component, I'd feel so awkward about asking. How well do you have to know the person before you can ask them out? Is it weird to ask out someone who you've been with in a group but haven't spoken to directly? How do you go about actually asking them out? Should it be over text or in person? Should you explicitly ask them on a date or just ask them if they want to hang out? Should you suggest the time/place or let them pick? Should you not bother asking someone out unless you can feign absolute confidence? Do most guys find it weird when girls ask them out? Do they assume you're "desperate" (and therefore not good enough) if you're having to "resort" to asking them out?

    I'm overthinking it, maybe.

  22. #942
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Sometimes I think about asking guys out.. but I fear rejection too much. Or even worse than rejection, I fear a guy accepting the date not because he likes me back but because he likes that I like him. That's heartbreak saved for a later date. Also, even without the rejection component, I'd feel so awkward about asking. How well do you have to know the person before you can ask them out? Is it weird to ask out someone who you've been with in a group but haven't spoken to directly? How do you go about actually asking them out? Should it be over text or in person? Should you explicitly ask them on a date or just ask them if they want to hang out? Should you suggest the time/place or let them pick? Should you not bother asking someone out unless you can feign absolute confidence? Do most guys find it weird when girls ask them out? Do they assume you're "desperate" (and therefore not good enough) if you're having to "resort" to asking them out?

    I'm overthinking it, maybe.
    Just let it have a rumble, no paranoia, no restrictions, no sad or hurt feelings. Love is free, wide, limitless.
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  23. #943
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Oof, no way could I bring myself to ask acquaintances to play match-maker for me. I'd be so embarrassed.

    They aren't by any means "fully intent on matching me with others." I don't know anyone who does that for others or has ended up in a relationship that way.
    Ok. You call them "Acquaintances". Tell me, how much time have you spent with them? How much/many times have you spent with them in prayer? How many times have you helped them with something? How many times have they helped you (likely unbidden as data suggests that you'd never ask directly as a broken individual but even braindead idiots can get thermonuclear hints if they actually give a fuck)?

    Imagine yourself in a life or death situation with them. How certain are you that they'd dump your ass at first opportunity or do you dare to hope they'd take a risk onto themselves to ensure you'd be among those who survived alongside themselves? Would you call anyone who merely entertains the thought of taking a bullet for you a mere "acquaintance" if they did so seriously? This is the line that can and does separate what one considers a mere acquaintance from a friend/true ally/lover. Yeah, ya might have liked that one dude a bit but ya only spoke to him for two minutes and it wasn't all that impressive. He dies it sucks but shit happens and ya don't lose much sleep over it. That's an acquaintance. Say you asked him about his true hopes and dreams and he answered honestly somehow and you actually both admired and respected both him and his aspirations. That's when you'd have shifted yourself from a mere acquaintance to the former 3 that are the true realms of relationships amongst the unbroken and healthily attached.

    This is what I keep harping on about when I speak of attachment issues. Hell, this is a major source of tension between me and my LSE mother. She constantly bids me to give her up to a nursing home so that I can be "free" of her. She thinks that my natural drive to take care of her will naturally drive any and all suitable mates from my presence. I tell her that if a woman is driven away from me because I desire to take care of her than it means she lacks a sense of filial duty and any woman who lacks that sense is unworthy of my commitment.

    This is also works in regards to the aforementioned Nursing Home. I tell her that those fuckers won't give a damn (let alone a shit or fuck) about her in the end. I've been spelling it out for her in terms for months on end and while she gets it more often than not she just keeps falling short at the final moments! Gah! Frustration! I guess this is because of my and how I just literally cannot turn it off. It's the thing you exude. Your Primary Function that is. It is the aura you give off. The innermost core no mask can ever hide. It's the "kernel" of your OS in computing terms...

    You're technically her dual so how do I drive home the point that credentials aren't the be all and end all? How one can and likely should come to regard them with suspicion in an environment where people that likely do mean them harm are in dominant positions of power?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BunnyFairyWorld View Post
    Just let it have a rumble, no paranoia, no restrictions, no sad or hurt feelings. Love is free, wide, limitless.
    HAH! I'd beg to differ sadly. "Free Love" can/has/will lead humanity onto the precipice of extinction if unchecked...

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Martial arts are filled with single women looking to date lonely men who aren't attractive enough for dating apps?

    I've always been skeptical of advice to "get a hobby."
    Join that baking club or w/e it was

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    I’m starting a dating app consulting business. Pay me $10 and I’ll tell you how to improve your profile and help you score more dates

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    Join that baking club or w/e it was
    No time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    I’m starting a dating app consulting business. Pay me $10 and I’ll tell you how to improve your profile and help you score more dates
    Unfortunately Saturn is currently opposite my Venus so...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Sometimes I think about asking guys out.. but I fear rejection too much.
    It feels bad for men too! Rejection hurts. But maturity is at least largely about learning to do and bear with unpleasant things.

    Or even worse than rejection, I fear a guy accepting the date not because he likes me back but because he likes that I like him. That's heartbreak saved for a later date.
    What, because it suits his ego? You could be asked out for the same reason. Either way it's up to you to use your discretion, and at the end of the day there isn't ever anything else you can do.

    Also, even without the rejection component, I'd feel so awkward about asking. How well do you have to know the person before you can ask them out? Is it weird to ask out someone who you've been with in a group but haven't spoken to directly? How do you go about actually asking them out? Should it be over text or in person? Should you explicitly ask them on a date or just ask them if they want to hang out? Should you suggest the time/place or let them pick? Should you not bother asking someone out unless you can feign absolute confidence?
    There are a lot of subtle ways of getting to that point, but you can always be direct too, and that's often the easiest route, especially if you aren't socially skilled. "You seem really cool. Would you like to get food/get a drink/feed some ducks together?" I don't think you need to explicitly clarify if something is a "date" unless you want to be clear that it's not. The point of flirtation/dating is that you aren't asking someone to just fuck you or move in with you. You're trying to get to know them to establish if you'd like to fuck them/have a relationship, and as long as you keep this in mind that can help ease the fear of rejection, working off the assumption that the pain of rejection is tied to your feeling of worth as an object of sexual desire. In other words, wanting to get to know them shouldn't be a pretense, so don't treat it as one. Anything not explicitly sexual that makes you like or admire that person you can be honest and even forthright about. If you feel you need an excuse or justification to ask them out, you can go with "I like your smile." "I share your taste in x." Something like that.

    The question of confidence ties into that, I think. It might not be completely realistic to expect yourself not to be nervous, but I think the best way to think about this is as something neither to be confident or nervous about. If someone rejects you sexually, that hurts, but if someone doesn't want to be your friend, they're just an asshole, right? And for now all you're trying to do is to be their friend.

    As far as suggesting times/places -- young people are often pretty sheltered and so don't really have the opportunities to develop a lot of initiative. In my experience if you want to do something with someone, especially someone young, you usually have to be pretty proactive. It would probably be good to suggest a place if he seems receptive; if it's appropriate to your personalities you could maybe say something to the effect that you'd love to hear any alternative ideas if he has them. But it's probably best to make sure there's an option out there, I think. Maybe there's also a psychological component to that, like if he doesn't have to think so much about what you're saying, your proposal seems like a more pleasant and easier thing on some level.

    Do most guys find it weird when girls ask them out? Do they assume you're "desperate" (and therefore not good enough) if you're having to "resort" to asking them out?
    No, not at all! I actually suspect this is a belief women fabricated to justify a fear of asking men out. I mean, just think, would you assume a man who asked you out rather than waiting for you to ask him was "desperate?"
    Last edited by FreelancePoliceman; 09-30-2022 at 08:06 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    I 100% disagree. It’s so much better to just go on a date. Spending weeks, months, a year(!) texting back and forth is a waste of time.
    Depends on how you look at it. It all boils down to subjective preference, what you value, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    If “hey wanna go on a date” is the first thing a man says to me on a dating app, I’m likely to say yes since I swiped right on him and he hasn’t given me a reason to say no.


    Send me a “hey what’s up”, and I’m likely to ignore you.
    Great way to meet some creeps and have horrifying experiences. Doesn't sound to me like you actually have much experience with dating like this. You're literally doing 0 screening this way. Not only is it stupid, it's dangerous. At least talk to a person enough to try to cover your own ass. Jesus. This kind of approach to dating can potentially get you into uncomfortable situations at best, and raped or killed at worst.
    Last edited by Lady Lunacy; 09-30-2022 at 10:27 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Lioness View Post
    Depends on how you look at it. It all boils down to subjective preference, what you value, etc.


    Great way to meet some creeps and have horrifying experiences. Doesn't sound to me like you actually have much experience with dating like this. You're literally doing 0 screening this way. Not only is it stupid, it's dangerous. At least talk to a person enough to try to cover your own ass. Jesus. This kind of approach to dating can get you killed, raped, etc.
    Ok you’re making a lot of assumptions here

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    Ok you’re making a lot of assumptions here
    Such as?

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    "Are there a lot of narcissists on dating apps?"
    Finally, a recent study from the journal Personality and Individual Differences can shed some light on this question. A study involving 555 participants found that there are more narcissists on dating apps than people who don't use them. They also found Machiavellianism predicted higher daily usage.

    “The psychopaths were more likely to have more problematic Tinder use or addictive Tinder use.
    “They’re on there a lot and are becoming addicted. The narcissists came in at four per cent of users, which is roughly the same offline. This survey looked at people who are really not okay; not just a little bit narcissistic, but highly narcissistic or highly psychopathic.


    LendEdu, a consumer finance comparison site, asked more than 3,800 millennials if they used Tinder and a staggering 72% of them said they did. When the researchers asked them why, 22% of those Tinder users answered that they are “looking for a hookup” and 29% percent said they use the location-based app for other reasons, which likely include friendship and curiosity. And only 4% said they were “looking for a relationship.” Meanwhile, more than 44% — by far the largest percentage — said they were swiping for “confidence-boosting procrastination.”



    "Wanna date?"
    "OK!"

    Really bad idea.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Unfortunately Saturn is currently opposite my Venus so...
    C’mon it’ll be fun

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    C’mon it’ll be fun
    I'll have fun enough! Look at my chart. Venus, 9th house, (yes, cadent but) aspected (by a trine no less) by Jupiter in the 5th (love of fun, lots of children), which is my ascendant ruler, and also aspected/trined by my ascendant itself. I'll find someone, possibly next year when Diespiter becomes chronokrator, NOT on an unfun dating app. And nothing is less fun than paying money for what should be friendly advice. Shame on you for trying to sell that btw, I thought we were friends.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    I'll have fun enough! Look at my chart. Venus, 9th house, (yes, cadent but) aspected (by a trine no less) by Jupiter in the 5th (love of fun, lots of children), which is my ascendant ruler, and also aspected/trined by my ascendant itself. I'll find someone, possibly next year when Diespiter becomes chronokrator, NOT on an unfun dating app. And nothing is less fun than paying money for what should be friendly advice. Shame on you for trying to sell that btw, I thought we were friends.
    LOL no such thing as a free lunch, buddy.

    Also can you post your chart cus I can’t find it anymore

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Do they assume you're "desperate" (and therefore not good enough) if you're having to "resort" to asking them out?
    even if they do so what, and if they look at it negatively, its their fault and projection. most ppl dont value others, dont value relaitonships, esp when young, they think its just to dick around so they will act like u're weird for caring too much. its annoying. people are annoying. its pointless to care what they think when its so stupid. if they act like morons and make u feel awkward for not doing anything wrong then u should treat them as awkward morons because thats what they are. its some stupid neruotypical sarcasm social bs thing where u have to read in between everything because they are too narcissistic and cowardly to say what they mean. if someone doesnt like u bc of how u approached them then good u know they aint shit.

    all the rest doesnt matter. u see how many assumptions ppl make out of anything u do, and then act like all those assumptions are the truth and if u dont know them then u are socially inept thats what social norms and social skills are about. just embrace the autism and do things ur way.
    Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
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    HELLO??? COME BACK!!!!
    i'm afraid it will hurt like hell, i am afraid of screaming and i am afraid of crying, i am afraid of forgetting but i'm not afraid of dying.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    LOL no such thing as a free lunch, buddy.

    Also can you post your chart cus I can’t find it anymore




    (Yes OK Venus is square Saturn. But I have a day chart so Saturn is less malefic, and Jupiter counteracts this anyway (the aspect list doesn't show that, because modern astrology is degenerate; aspects were traditionally understood between the zoidia planets are in)).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    Exactly. And then when you finally meet you may not be compatible, or there might not be attraction. It's best to meet in person, and then one just has to accept that it might be necessary to go on lots of dates to find the right one.
    When I hear this I just think I don't want to waste my time going on a bunch of dates (and suffering through discomfort from social anxiety) with a bunch of randos that I couldn't care less about lol

    I honestly hope that I will be able to meet somebody in person and have a friendship of some sort with them first. The whole romantic stuff with a stranger is so damn weird.

    I fully acknowledge I'm not the norm when it comes to this stuff. The one time talking online worked out for me was not the norm it seems. It'll probably be like searching for a needle in a haystack to find someone I had magic with again.
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquamarine View Post
    When I hear this I just think I don't want to waste my time going on a bunch of dates (and suffering through discomfort from social anxiety) with a bunch of randos that I couldn't care less about lol

    I honestly hope that I will be able to meet somebody in person and have a friendship of some sort with them first. The whole romantic stuff with a stranger is so damn weird.

    I fully acknowledge I'm not the norm when it comes to this stuff. The one time talking online worked out for me was not the norm it seems. It'll probably be like searching for a needle in a haystack to find someone I had magic with again.
    I've been on lots of bad dates. But that's the only way to find out. I don't want to spend months chatting with someone and then finally discover that we don't match. Writing messages takes a long time for me, I can easily spend 30 mins on composing a message. Better to meet for 1-2 hours and then I know.

    Then if I find someone special, we can of course become friends and then the romance starts. It's not like I will be romantically involved with someone who feels like a stranger. These things can be subjective. I've met duals who felt like friends after 5 minutes.

    I guess women have a tendency to postpone things in order to test the man. But it doesn't work in online dating. You can't know who the other person is. Both only know that there is slight interest based on pics etc. Another problem is that things might change. We matched and I am available now so why don't we meet. I might find someone else if we wait too long.

    But I understand that things are not decided by reason alone. There is the yin and yang of dating. But I try to suggest a date and remind her if she doesn't respond. Something has to happen. I'll try to be the man.
    Last edited by Tallmo; 10-01-2022 at 09:11 AM.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Haha, I'm surprised that you're shocked. Is it really that common? I've never even heard of churches trying to set people up before End mentioned it on this thread. I'd genuinely feel relieved if someone tried to find a boyfriend for me but I don't think that's gonna happen and I can't bring myself to ask lol. On the bright side of having to navigate it alone, I obviously know who I'm attracted to better than anyone else.
    The fact that you are single, at church, AND leading a bible study and NO ONE said "You should meet my friend/son/nephew/cousin". I'm shocked. Yes this is common, one trip on youtube would point that out to you. I've personally experienced it too, and people I know. So yea, I'm shocked. They love trying to play match maker for the young single members.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 10-01-2022 at 12:03 AM.

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