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Thread: Adventures in Dating

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    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    I am spawned from an LSE mother so here's what I've figured out in regards to having for years and for minutes where she has that for days and for seconds. Humility, understanding, and a refusal to give into that most primordial of sins. Pride.

    Oh yeah, in moments of weakness and hunger (i.e. when I'm rather hangry) I admit I tear into her and I immediately regret it and apologize rightfully soon after. I mean, how the hell can a woman who is otherwise more than capable of understanding how things work logically and efficiently (i.e. has for years/weeks) not understand where it all leads when it's so obvious!
    This makes sense dual-wise now, EII helps LSE see where things will lead if they don't ever consider their Fi self interests. Which means they usually burn themselves tf out helping out everyone else around them, which I've seen before "I Help everyone until I have nothing left and then no one helps me" EII: "I could have told you that hours ago before you got a hissy fit."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    So you are sure your parents are supervisors? I know of one couple but they divorced. My parents are business LSI+ESI and they had LOTS of friction and bad communication over the years.

    Problem with supervision: how do you get psychologically more intimate? The bad impact is always there and the supervisee is going to feel slightly inferior although she does not know why. Now when I met the EIE I was the one to feel inferior or slightly uncomfortable but this was only on the surface. If we would break the ice things would change. I know EIEs are uncomfortable around me, and it's strange becsuse I am so simple and they seem more advanced. But I also dont like the somewhat superior attitude it creates in me. It comes after some time with them. Because I am so relaxed and they are not.
    You know what my ILE roommate told me after I told him he drives me nuts, "Yea but like, being around you helps me be a better person.". What? Me constantly telling him he's a nut job with a sadistic streak? It felt like he was getting some benefit at my expense, like he thought I was being paid to put up with him.

    I think we want from our supervisors what someone who has daddy issues wants from their dad, for them to some how say they are proud of us when using our PoLR.

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    I am really close to an ILI - my supervisee. I had to put my ego in check and not get frustrated with what I saw as his “passivity” in terms of dealing with people. Over the past few years, he’s taught me the value of how he sees people and processes things.

    Saying that, it was super awkward dating each other. I wanted someone who was more assertive and he wanted someone more free-spirited.

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    Quote Originally Posted by EIE H View Post
    more free-spirited
    I always do take notice of the person's chill factor a few secs of meeting them. I immediately feel tenseness when I talk to somebody. If they are not chill when there is no problem, I cannot imagine when there actually is
    It isn't really a problem though some people (not actually EIEs in particular) have the tendency to desperately control you and everything around them when things go down the drain just to keep the little sanity they have, instead of adapting to the situation and just taking any blow casually while joking about it. In my black-and-white view of people, I tag them as deranged and annoying because they make my peaceful life difficult.


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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    You know what my ILE roommate told me after I told him he drives me nuts, "Yea but like, being around you helps me be a better person.". What? Me constantly telling him he's a nut job with a sadistic streak? It felt like he was getting some benefit at my expense, like he thought I was being paid to put up with him.

    I think we want from our supervisors what someone who has daddy issues wants from their dad, for them to some how say they are proud of us when using our PoLR.
    Maybe that's what happens at least consciously. But supervision is always there as an unconscious background mood. I dislike that vague sense of discomfort, as if something was eating me from the inside. That's how I experience supervision from LSE, and it doesnt matter what they say or do. Sometimes I am not that aware of it but it's alwsys present like a vague illness or black magic.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    A long time ago I remember meeting a guy in a meet-ups group I regularly attended. He was a vet and we had a brief friendship. He told me how he was getting over someone- he met them on holiday and got married but it didn’t work out. He was at this point in his mid- thirties and really wanted to find someone- I think we both were curious about each other. But I had a crush on an ILI guy at the time. The vet guy was Estp-ti. I don’t think we were a great match but he was a nice guy and had quite a soft manner about him. I think he may be with an IEI lady now.

    Recently I have started talking to someone and they seem pretty cool and they seem Estp-ti. It’s kind of nerve-wracking. Like when you have a crush on someone. With the added weirdness of knowing their type. And when it comes to duals that’s not always a good thing.

    I think I need to just be positive, and think of it as a fun experience- whatever happens or doesn’t happen. I have other chats in the background too.

    I have support from my IEE buddies, who can be quite good at dating advice.
    Last edited by Bethany; 09-17-2022 at 09:08 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    This makes sense dual-wise now, EII helps LSE see where things will lead if they don't ever consider their Fi self interests. Which means they usually burn themselves tf out helping out everyone else around them, which I've seen before "I Help everyone until I have nothing left and then no one helps me" EII: "I could have told you that hours ago before you got a hissy fit."
    I guess this must be a thing about duality that supervision utterly fails to naturally account for. I fully and painfully understand her desire to help everyone else out over/other than ourselves for I share it! I derisively have called her a "Worker Bee" on many an occasion for many a reason. Mainly because Worker Bee's are abject mindslaves to their queens who'd gladly work themselves to death on a given task without question and you know damn good and well I'd rather die a slow and most painful death than see either myself or those I care about meet that fate. Nothing horrifies a Gamma more than being totally enslaved to an alien will diametrically opposed to their own desires on the cellular level.

    I don't know enough about how Delta's function other than they tend to take their side to a logically absurd end point. Patton (an SLI by most who reckon) was as critically weak at as I am but he was uniquely cruel and hard-headed when he ought not to have been. I otherwise agree with those of that type's conclusions when I encounter them in both history, RL, and fiction. Yet there is something they tend to miss. Their solutions work and they are pretty damned effective, but as they lack and thus fail to see how it all ends if they adopt an extreme view and follow through on it to the very end. They can and do absolutely win the battle, but they lose the overall war if enough time is allowed to elapse.

    Hell, I think this might be a critical insight into the Delta mind. and meet with and to generate a singular solution. There was and is only one way, their way. Works to be sure, but damn it they are blind to how things could and probably should be done better...

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    Tinder is not looking good. There aren’t very many ESIs at all, and 85% of the people in my age group look like walruses or serial killers.

    Marry young, people, before all the good ones are gone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Tinder is not looking good. There aren’t very many ESIs at all, and 85% of the people in my age group look like walruses or serial killers.

    Marry young, people, before all the good ones are gone.
    My plan is to just abduct someone I like and ask forgiveness when/if they fall in love with me. Seems a lot more simple than dealing with dating apps.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Tinder is not looking good. There aren’t very many ESIs at all, and 85% of the people in my age group look like walruses or serial killers.

    Marry young, people, before all the good ones are gone.
    Let's be constructive:
    If you adjust the age fork on Tinder to 18-22 you might be able to match with beauties who are willing to give you company for some €€ or $$. They are pretty common.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    Let's be constructive:
    If you adjust the age fork on Tinder to 18-22 you might be able to match with beauties who are willing to give you company for some €€ or $$. They are pretty common.

    My LSE mother used to say that money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a reasonable facsimile.

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    idk who tf said duality ain't real. I need to stop talking to this LSE woman, too old for me and prolly got a buncha kids.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    idk who tf said duality ain't real. I need to stop talking to this LSE woman, too old for me and prolly got a buncha kids.
    You don't have to marry her, although I will say that talking to her will reduce your need to find a more "suitable" Dual.

    I can tell you that Duality simply does not see age, but other people do.

    When I'm out shopping for home improvements with my ESI-Se interior decorator, absolutely everyone
    1. thinks we're "together", and
    2. disapproves of our age difference.

    Lol. Well, I say, Fuck them. Duality is not something that you give up because some ignoramus thinks you don't conform to their prejudices.

    My problem isn't that she's much younger than I am. My problem is that she is a lesbian and doesn't want kids. That's something that I can't change.
    You can be great Duals and not great life partners.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-22-2022 at 11:59 PM.

  14. #894
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Tinder is not looking good. There aren’t very many ESIs at all, and 85% of the people in my age group look like walruses or serial killers.

    Marry young, people, before all the good ones are gone.
    I could have told you that one years ago. Now I have the dataset to identify the exact reasons as to why. For starters (as we'll start with the order of my epiphanies) it's clearly all about casual sexual encounters. Tinder is a glorified porno site. Only instead of fapping to some vid you actually are the participant that made said vid. ONS's. That's what Tinder is for. PUA's focused on it hardcore back then because hey, why not threaten them with a good time!

    Now for the hypothetical. What if ya wanted to find a wife/SO there? Well, ya could build a profile that'll likely filter for them but that'd ultimately be the equivalent of trying to make a ho into a housewife. Yeah, can happen, but it probably won't. Ya might have been able to make it work a few years ago but those people have already found each other and gotten married. Only Road Whores and slovenly pedo-bearded failures of men remain. I had all the shards of the reasons as to why but the ultimate unifying piece was/is probably what you've already seen coming.

    Attachment issues. If you're on Tinder (or any of its equivalents) at all at this point you're probably suffering from them and will thus attract the same. Such people are worthy of pity and, if they display potential as someone who can be "fixed" (i.e. isn't a member of "the lost" as I term them), then they're worth the effort to try and fix. Helping them (and/or helping yourself) fix those issues will generate a massive amount of true emotional intimacy.

    Ya won't find any Gamma's there anymore for these reasons and more lemme tell ya. I'd figured this out when it first started coming into the mainstream and I was only freshly graduating College when the first smartphones hit the market! Our own duals can figure shit out just as well as we can but from the opposite angle. An SEE would just "Not feel right" about how shit was going down on a date. She may not be able to grok the why, but her feeling that something was off would be enough for her to bail long before sex (or worst case rape) was even a remote possiblity.

    If ya wanna find an ESI/Dual of any type than heed my advice. Find a religion you can live with, get involved, and once you've done the congregation a few favors put out a feeler. Hell they'll likely put one out long before you do. They'll ask you "Are you single?" and If you answer Yes, they'll go through a whole song and dance dependent upon their type and at the end (if they really feel you've been straight with them) will make a serious effort to matchmake you with someone they feel will be a good match for you. They've all got nieces and nephews. Cousins and friends...

    A hobby will work as well if it has a necessary social component (e.g. for me it's Martial Arts as any girl who's into that hardcore is quite likely to be a Dandy and thus likely an valuer). ESI's are pretty artsy (as are ILI's funny enough) so I'd lean into that sphere. Caution: If they even hint of wokism you best bail. Death Cultists are cultists first and foremost and while you may be quite liberal you aren't likely woke enough to suck the "feminine penis" with eager glee as it were.

    I'm probably going to end up with a 25+ SEE because I can and will admit all this and more straight up. I have the data and I'll reveal it to her. Her apparent "crazy" fails to dwarf mine own. She fails to surpass mine own crazy factor. I wonder if you see ILI's as like yourself, but more nuts. I see LIE's as like myself, but saner and more sociopathic by current standards. The overvaluation of just irks me somehow. Guess I can blame that on my LSE mother...

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    My ESI-Se interior decorator signed me up for Tinder and I've been dipping into it from time to time, but in the short times I've spent looking, I haven't run across any women that I'd be happy to spend time with. So, I decided to just sit down and page through as many as I could stand in one session.

    After a few minutes of "swiping left", Tinder announced that they had run out of listed females in my demographic, and would I like to try "International Tinder"? Maybe to find a Russian or Cambodian bride, I guess. No, thanks.

    In my short session spent rejecting everyone, there was one woman who was intriguing. She said that she didn't live in Michigan but stayed here frequently to care for her mother, who has Alzheimer's. She said she was just looking for someone to have fun with and do some short activities with.
    She was thin, had short hair, looked really good, and one of her pics was a down-blouse picture to prove that she's female. She didn't look fancy, but rather just looked like she quietly knew who she was and what she wanted, and I like that. If I had to guess her type, I'd say ESI-Fi e9.

    She didn't look exactly like someone permanent, but she was miles ahead of everyone else on that site and I could see us together. I swiped right.

    For anything to happen, she has to swipe right on my picture, too. Given Tinder's approach to creating long term relationships, I'll probably never see her again.



    @End, thanks for your advice. I think you're probably right about most of your recommendations, because the ESIs that I've met do seem to go to church. My SLI ex went to church religiously.
    Unfortunately, I don't, and I have no desire to, either.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    My ESI-Se interior decorator signed me up for Tinder and I've been dipping into it from time to time, but in the short times I've spent looking, I haven't run across any women that I'd be happy to spend time with. So, I decided to just sit down and page through as many as I could stand in one session.

    After a few minutes of "swiping left", Tinder announced that they had run out of listed females in my demographic, and would I like to try "International Tinder"? Maybe to find a Russian or Cambodian bride, I guess. No, thanks.

    In my short session spent rejecting everyone, there was one woman who was intriguing. She said that she didn't live in Michigan but stayed here frequently to care for her mother, who has Alzheimer's. She said she was just looking for someone to have fun with and do some short activities with.
    She was thin, had short hair, looked really good, and one of her pics was a down-blouse picture to prove that she's female. She didn't look fancy, but rather just looked like she quietly knew who she was and what she wanted, and I like that. If I had to guess her type, I'd say ESI-Fi e9.

    She didn't look exactly like someone permanent, but she was miles ahead of everyone else on that site and I could see us together. I swiped right.

    For anything to happen, she has to swipe right on my picture, too. Given Tinder's approach to creating long term relationships, I'll probably never see her again.



    @End, thanks for your advice. I think you're probably right about most of your recommendations, because the ESIs that I've met do seem to go to church. My SLI ex went to church religiously.
    Unfortunately, I don't, and I have no desire to, either.
    - Have you paid? You need to pay for Tinder Gold so that you can see who has liked you so far. It's better that way.
    - Take good pics of yourself. If you can't do it yourself ask a friend to help. The better the pics the better chances. Or hire a professional photographer. Pics are important, very important.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    - Have you paid? You need to pay for Tinder Gold so that you can see who has liked you so far. It's better that way.
    - Take good pics of yourself. If you can't do it yourself ask a friend to help. The better the pics the better chances. Or hire a professional photographer. Pics are important, very important.
    Thanks, @Talmo. That's good advice. The ESI-Se took pictures and they actually do look like me, but I don't like them. Plus, I will pay for Tinder Gold right after I update my pictures.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Thanks, @Talmo. That's good advice. The ESI-Se took pictures and they actually do look like me, but I don't like them. Plus, I will pay for Tinder Gold right after I update my pictures.
    It's maybe Fe, but I think it's important to join the game of looking cool and interesting. Or nice or mysterious or anything positive. It took me forever (like 1 year or so) to get my pics right. I couldn't do it myself. I and a friend went out to different places in town and had a photography session. Of course within the limits of how I like to present myself.

    I know that some gorgeous girls can take pics in the bathroom mirror, but if I do it it just looks creepy.

    On the other hand, I might not really know what women like...
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Another Tinder date just today...

    Based on messages and pics I thought maybe SEE, EIE or even ESE. Fe was obvious. In pics she looked SEE though.

    Anyway, she is SEE.

    She is nice and we had a nice walk and coffee

    But it's interesting how my mind reacts to Se. I get tired and I try to ignore or downplay it. She wasn't "forceful" or anything like that, just the normal concrete, connected-to-reality Se.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    and one of her pics was a down-blouse picture to prove that she's female
    A tet pek?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    A tet pek?
    Yes. It got my undivided attention.

    Here's the weird thing: It wasn't even that visually revealing, but it made clear her intentions, and I see that as an open door.

    Open doors are important to Victims, because we don't push them open ourselves, usually. We need to know that we're welcome to come in before we enter. At least, I do.

    Plus, I liked her face.

    Yes, I did.

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    When the ESI-Se set up my tinder account for me, I was skeptical that I'd find anyone on that site that I'd like. She told me that I was being too particular in chasing a Dual, and I should just go out and have some fun with new people.

    I assume that's her own approach. So far, she's had some terrific failures, but so did I when I was 27. Because I didn't know a fucking thing about people.

    However, I've recently been saying that people's character shines out of their face (for VI reasons), and there's absolutely no reason for me to go out with a woman whose face I don't want to see every day. That narrows down my prospective choices by quite a bit. Quite a bit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    - Have you paid? You need to pay for Tinder Gold so that you can see who has liked you so far. It's better that way.
    - Take good pics of yourself. If you can't do it yourself ask a friend to help. The better the pics the better chances. Or hire a professional photographer. Pics are important, very important.
    Classic exploitative measure if we're talking Game Design. Create the problem and sell the solution. Tinder is best viewed as a rather tragic game IMO. The broken and lost trying to find something they're all doomed to never find whilst being sold the lie that they've already got a valid treasure map and that this app is the key to decoding it.

    Pisses me off how often Game Design gets used in all the worst ways nowadays...

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Yes. It got my undivided attention.

    Here's the weird thing: It wasn't even that visually revealing, but it made clear her intentions, and I see that as an open door.

    Open doors are important to Victims, because we don't push them open ourselves, usually. We need to know that we're welcome to come in before we enter. At least, I do.

    Plus, I liked her face.

    Yes, I did.
    I wonder if this is a difference between ILI's and LIE's. An open door obviously deserves a peak. Give it a good prod or two and see what happens. That'll tell ya if you're welcome in or not.

    She was signaling an openness to an ONS far as I can tell and that's a major red flag for me. Only really broken women are DTF on the first date. And wouldn't ya know it what kind of women are ya most likely to find on Tinder...

    Still, this could be a way in for you. You may be the first male, especially if a male victim type, that didn't just cave upon being offered the keys to the kingdom as it were. Healthy aggressors don't want easy conquests. Well, they do but they don't put/desire to have rings put upon them by the easy ones. Napoleon went mad with desire over Josephine (to the point he actually married her back when that actually meant quite a lot) because she knew how to play "hard to get". Easy conquests are easy and quickly forgotten upon the campaign trail. Oh but that one tough as all hell to crack fortress that they risked it all on and actually succeeded. Oh now that was satisfying. A true test worthy of a true conqueror!

    Give them what they want my dude. A challenge. They already know they're going to win but the real treat for them is making them truly work for it. Again, assuming they're healthy in the head. From our end it is likewise. They know we're ultimately bluffing, but we do it out of our concern for their satisfaction.

    Once more, easy conquests are like cup ramen or instant mashed potatoes. They get the job done and satisfy in the moment, but once you've had actually handmade examples of those? No comparison. Offer her the experience of a true feast. Give her the satisfaction of conquering you after a long and hard campaign. She'll treasure you all the more for it .

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    When the ESI-Se set up my tinder account for me, I was skeptical that I'd find anyone on that site that I'd like. She told me that I was being too particular in chasing a Dual, and I should just go out and have some fun with new people.

    I assume that's her own approach. So far, she's had some terrific failures, but so did I when I was 27. Because I didn't know a fucking thing about people.

    However, I've recently been saying that people's character shines out of their face (for VI reasons), and there's absolutely no reason for me to go out with a woman whose face I don't want to see every day. That narrows down my prospective choices by quite a bit. Quite a bit.
    She's right about the first part. After all the truly deciding factor in the success of a romantic relationship is attachment and not socionics. You can have a healthy, wonderful, and loving relationship with your conflictor. Yeah, it'll take a ton of work and effort from both sides in comparison to how easy it otherwise works out for duals but it can be done. So yeah, if she's fun and kind give her a chance .

    You're also right about that second part. I instantly aborted someone's attempt to set me up with this one girl at church. She's nice and all, but for the love of God her neck. That neck... it's a deformity and yeah I'm being shallow as hell but damnit if looking at her straight on instantly kills my boner there's no real future there. That and her voice is the very definition of grating. Nope. Sure she's a nice girl and would otherwise make someone else very happy but I know for damn sure I'm not that person.

    I'd also feed that ESI a bit of my own advice. Y'know, risking the whole being truly vulnerable to others and maybe using churches and hobbies over phone apps who have an obvious financial angle. Having a hobby and going to church are free. You don't have to put anything in the collection plate if ya don't wanna and nobody looks down on you for it. Hobbies have a cost for entry but after that nobody really cares if you don't go crazy...

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    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    I'd also feed that ESI a bit of my own advice. Y'know, risking the whole being truly vulnerable to others and maybe using churches and hobbies over phone apps who have an obvious financial angle. Having a hobby and going to church are free. You don't have to put anything in the collection plate if ya don't wanna and nobody looks down on you for it. Hobbies have a cost for entry but after that nobody really cares if you don't go crazy...
    That angle doesn't work for everyone. I'm active at church, I help lead a Bible study, I teach STEM Outreach, I attend English Club, I go to the gym... Plenty of opportunities for a meet cute moment. Yet, nothing. (Nothing in terms of dating, of course. I obviously get a lot out of those activities in terms of health and enjoyment and fulfillment.)

    I don't want to be single forever. Even though I'm still quite young, I'm cognizant of the fact that the clock is ticking. Might as well get in the dating game before my age becomes a liability and before all the good guys are taken. I'm annoyed with myself for throwing a mental pity party whenever I see a happy couple. I'm bored of dreaming that I'll naturally stumble across "the one."

    Tinder it is! I'll probably wait until summertime though. More time.

    Anyhow, idk why the ESI would be unwise to use a dating app. If she's not finding romance in other arenas of life, that doesn't necessarily mean she's not engaged in other arenas. Nor does it necessarily mean that she's not being vulnerable enough. It probably just means she isn't meeting the right people through her activities. Dating apps quickly expose you to a larger pool of people, most of whom are interested in a relationship.
    Last edited by Dreymagine; 09-24-2022 at 05:36 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    Classic exploitative measure if we're talking Game Design. Create the problem and sell the solution. Tinder is best viewed as a rather tragic game IMO. The broken and lost trying to find something they're all doomed to never find whilst being sold the lie that they've already got a valid treasure map and that this app is the key to decoding it.

    Pisses me off how often Game Design gets used in all the worst ways nowadays...
    It's pretty easy to meet people on dating apps, and lots of people there are looking for a permanent relationship. (One just has to overcome some prejudices about these apps, and just go for it). Yesterday I met a very nice girl who unfortunately was SEE. So I don't really know were you get your negative experience from, or do you just imagine things being like that? There are many ways to meet people and apps are one of them. My other channel is dancing, but it is harder, although more fun. I'm not sure if church would work for me over here in this secular country but it could be worth trying, I'll keep that idea in mind.
    Last edited by Tallmo; 09-24-2022 at 09:19 AM.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    That angle doesn't work for everyone. I'm active at church, I help lead a Bible study, I teach STEM Outreach, I attend English Club, I go to the gym... Plenty of opportunities for a meet cute moment. Yet, nothing. (Nothing in terms of dating, of course. I obviously get a lot out of those activities in terms of health and enjoyment and fulfillment.)

    I don't want to be single forever. Even though I'm still quite young, I'm cognizant of the fact that the clock is ticking. Might as well get in the dating game before my age becomes a liability and before all the good guys are taken. I'm annoyed with myself for throwing a mental pity party whenever I see a happy couple. I'm bored of dreaming that I'll naturally stumble across "the one."

    Tinder it is! I'll probably wait until summertime though. More time.

    Anyhow, idk why the ESI would be unwise to use a dating app. If she's not finding romance in other arenas of life, that doesn't necessarily mean she's not engaged in other arenas. Nor does it necessarily mean that she's not being vulnerable enough. It probably just means she isn't meeting the right people through her activities. Dating apps quickly expose you to a larger pool of people, most of whom are interested in a relationship.
    Cute is difficult to come by. Billions of people on this planet and it's probably just as hard now, if not harder, than it ever was previously. This has been making me think along strange mystic lines. I hope Tinder works for you.

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    I find the concept of online dating so strange. Just meeting a random stranger that you're looking for romantically. It all seems too formal.

    I guess this just doesn't work for me. I take a very long time to warm up to people. Most people nowadays want to have their tongue down your throat by date number 3 the latest. Ugh. You're still a stranger!

    I do better around people that I meet as friends when there's no romantic intent (at least not from my side).

    Now I did meet one of my ex's online but we never met in person until knowing each other for almost a year. We were almost like best friends by then. Which is so different to trying to date someone you have no relationship with.

    I realize I'm somewhat peculiar with certain relationship things which doesn't make me a great candidate for online dating.

    I realize I have zero friends so I won't meet anyone that way either. I think people can sense that I'm miserable with life at this point.

    These were just some thoughts I had after reading a post above.
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Tinder is not looking good. There aren’t very many ESIs at all, and 85% of the people in my age group look like walruses or serial killers.

    Marry young, people, before all the good ones are gone.
    What is your definition of young though? Do you mean in 20s, 30s?
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquamarine View Post
    I find the concept of online dating so strange. Just meeting a random stranger that you're looking for romantically. It all seems too formal
    usually is…but that might be because I was selecting people ‘by type’ for a while. It’s also easy to imagine a person is something you’re looking for..because you don’t have much to go on. And then they turn out to be not what you imagined. it’s rare i have fancied someone from a photo on a profile. There have been a few. Talking to one now. Then I think there are others who you notice and think well maybe I’d fancy them if I met them a few times.
    Last edited by Bethany; 09-24-2022 at 03:54 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Cute is difficult to come by. Billions of people on this planet and it's probably just as hard now, if not harder, than it ever was previously. This has been making me think along strange mystic lines. I hope Tinder works for you.
    Thanks.

    I'm not sure about the meaning of the bolded bit, though. I don't know if that's a figure of speech I haven't encountered or if difficulty finding a romantic partner has somehow lead you to adopt "mystic thought processes," whatever those may be. What did you mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquamarine View Post
    What is your definition of young though? Do you mean in 20s, 30s?
    @Aquamarine, I meant that you should find someone ASAP. Someone who is maybe not perfect, but who is capable of actually being in a relationship, because a lot of people are not.

    The problem is that some people can be in a relationship just fine, while others either aren't interested or can't maintain a relationship. When you are in your teens, the percentage of single people in the population who can successfully maintain a long-term relationship is about 50%. In the process of playing musical chairs with partners, when two of these people, called "Secures", meet up, they stay together. The people who can't maintain a relationship meet, break up, meet someone else, break up, rinse, repeat.
    Eventually, all the Secures are married to each other, and the rest of the "Insecure" singles population just keep recyling in an endless, unhappy loop until they just stop dating altogether.

    This, in my opinion, is the source of the phrase "After 30, all the good ones are gone." A person might have many ideas about what constitutes "a good one", but the main characteristic that they all have to have is that they have to be able to be in a relationship.

    Here's a link to a graph and a better explanation (CAUTION: Danger Ahead. My ESI interior decorator is 27 and she hates this chart.): https://jebkinnison.com/2014/06/23/d...ners-after-30/

    I recommend that you buy Kinnison's books. They are quite instructive and are worth every penny.

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    I might try to make things work with my ex if that's still an option. I have a career that's going to take up 90% of my time soon and it's hard to find decent women that aren't already in 3-5+ years relationships post-college. I also have zero organic opportunities to meet new women since everything's virtual and my office might as well be an airport. I miss working retail sometimes
    Last edited by Averroes; 09-24-2022 at 06:38 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @Aquamarine, I meant that you should find someone ASAP. Someone who is maybe not perfect, but who is capable of actually being in a relationship, because a lot of people are not.

    The problem is that some people can be in a relationship just fine, while others either aren't interested or can't maintain a relationship. When you are in your teens, the percentage of single people in the population who can successfully maintain a long-term relationship is about 50%. In the process of playing musical chairs with partners, when two of these people, called "Secures", meet up, they stay together. The people who can't maintain a relationship meet, break up, meet someone else, break up, rinse, repeat.
    Eventually, all the Secures are married to each other, and the rest of the "Insecure" singles population just keep recyling in an endless, unhappy loop until they just stop dating altogether.

    This, in my opinion, is the source of the phrase "After 30, all the good ones are gone." A person might have many ideas about what constitutes "a good one", but the main characteristic that they all have to have is that they have to be able to be in a relationship.

    Here's a link to a graph and a better explanation (CAUTION: Danger Ahead. My ESI interior decorator is 27 and she hates this chart.): https://jebkinnison.com/2014/06/23/d...ners-after-30/

    I recommend that you buy Kinnison's books. They are quite instructive and are worth every penny.
    I get why someone would hate those charts. Every time I see that stuff it makes me feel as if I have to rush to find a relationship which never worked out well in the past and left me with more problems than before.
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




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    I parked a family in a giant red truck today at the football game. The ESI guy driving the truck had to back into the space, so his wife and three kids jumped out first while he maneuvered it in.

    While he was parking, I stood next to his petite, very logical-looking wife and said to her "It must be nice to have a husband who knows how to park a truck and is also a friendly guy."

    She looked at me in amazement, like I was Gandalf and knew the secrets of the Universe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aquamarine View Post
    I get why someone would hate those charts. Every time I see that stuff it makes me feel as if I have to rush to find a relationship which never worked out well in the past and left me with more problems than before.
    A Good Man is Hard to Find.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Thanks.

    I'm not sure about the meaning of the bolded bit, though. I don't know if that's a figure of speech I haven't encountered or if difficulty finding a romantic partner has somehow lead you to adopt "mystic thought processes," whatever those may be. What did you mean?
    Oh. Just that since it doesn't seem to matter how many people actually exist on earth when it comes to finding someone cute/cool, maybe there are ways of understanding this problem that aren't entirely rational. Say, maybe it's a question of ratios -- no matter how many people you have on the planet, the number of such people floats around 5% or something. Or maybe there's just some special/planetary program to keep some cycle of existence turning, and to do that it turns out the same patterns/personalities, and if you want some different kind of experience or person you have to trick this program somehow, or negotiate with it in certain ways.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Oh. Just that since it doesn't seem to matter how many people actually exist on earth when it comes to finding someone cute/cool, maybe there are ways of understanding this problem that aren't entirely rational. Say, maybe it's a question of ratios -- no matter how many people you have on the planet, the number of such people floats around 5% or something. Or maybe there's just some special/planetary program to keep some cycle of existence turning, and to do that it turns out the same patterns/personalities, and if you want some different kind of experience or person you have to trick this program somehow, or negotiate with it in certain ways.
    False. It would matter if there were zero other people on the planet. Or just a handful and they were all people you disliked. In fact, it's possible to dislike every single other person on the planet, and it would be possible for everyone on the planet to dislike each other no matter how many people there were.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Cute is difficult to come by. Billions of people on this planet and it's probably just as hard now, if not harder, than it ever was previously. This has been making me think along strange mystic lines. I hope Tinder works for you.
    Joke's on you, I think along mystic lines regardless of any external factors in life. Unless in this case you mean you want to date God like many monks/nuns, Sufis, and other religious types are famous for. That's cool too but very much situation-dependent. However, I highly doubt that's what you mean.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Coeruleum Blue View Post
    False. It would matter if there were zero other people on the planet. Or just a handful and they were all people you disliked. In fact, it's possible to dislike every single other person on the planet, and it would be possible for everyone on the planet to dislike each other no matter how many people there were.
    Are you sure?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Are you sure?
    Yes. For example, if everyone were extremely greedy and vengeful everyone could fight each other over wealth all the time and not like each other, not because of personality differences, but because of personality similarities. I guess if there were zero other people, the one person could just respond with psychosis and making up an imaginary dating partner and no one would be able to call them out, though.

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