Page 26 of 26 FirstFirst ... 162223242526
Results 1,001 to 1,023 of 1023

Thread: Adventures in Dating

  1. #1001
    EIE Ni H dewusional entitwed snowfwake VewyScawwyNawcissist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2021
    Location
    uNdeR yOur SkIn
    TIM
    bNF 641sx/spVELF
    Posts
    2,515
    Mentioned
    121 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    What do you think she VIs as?

    Attachment 18367
    maybe SLI
    actually ESE also makes sense
    Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
    I want to care
    if I was better I’d help you
    if I was better you’d be better
    HELLO??? COME BACK!!!!
    i'm afraid it will hurt like hell, i am afraid of screaming and i am afraid of crying, i am afraid of forgetting but i'm not afraid of dying.



  2. #1002
    Averroes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    TIM
    ESI-H 936 Sp
    Posts
    1,124
    Mentioned
    36 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Just got completely dressed down for 3 minutes by the EIE I was dating for being an unambitious loser and not giving an adequate, unprompted explanation for why I live in a slightly bad area with my parents instead of paying 1800 to live with roommates or in a rat infested studio

    She could’ve been kinder, but I do feel like I’m not living properly or motivated enough to take that next step in my life. I was attracted to her refinement and haughtiness but never expected it to blow back on me like this since I have a career.
    Last edited by Averroes; 11-28-2022 at 01:19 PM.

  3. #1003
    AWellArmedCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Location
    Northern Japan
    TIM
    IEI-Fe 4w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,064
    Mentioned
    75 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    Just got completely dressed down by the EIE I was dating for being an unambitious loser and not giving an adequate, unprompted explanation for being the way I am
    I'm sorry, that sucks
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

  4. #1004

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,562
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    What do you think she VIs as?
    SEI as a guess..from the way she is posing, but not sure

  5. #1005

    Join Date
    Jun 2022
    TIM
    SLI
    Posts
    520
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    What do you think she VIs as?
    maybe an introvert
    she looks a little shy, she hides a little
    but from one picture it's pretty much a guessing game 99.9% of the time

  6. #1006

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,562
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Averroes it’s not that uncommon for people to live with their parents in 2022..people can be dicks when they’re dating. Ignore, and next please

  7. #1007
    AWellArmedCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Location
    Northern Japan
    TIM
    IEI-Fe 4w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,064
    Mentioned
    75 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nifl View Post
    maybe an introvert
    she looks a little shy, she hides a little
    but from one picture it's pretty much a guessing game 99.9% of the time
    Yeah, I know a single picture isn't nearly enough. Honestly even video can be misleading. Basically everything other than real life interactions spread out over time in different lightings with different backdrops etc. will yield somewhat limited results I think. I was just sort of randomly curious what people thought off the cuff... and maybe also bragging just a little... ^^;

    In other news, we're currently living together since her parents' place is kinda far away and she doesn't have to be there for classes right now since she's graduating soon
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

  8. #1008

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,562
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @AWellArmedCat Yay, enjoy. I secretly hope she is SEI because I think lookalike can be one of the nicest ITR. Signs of being SEI..like to talk a lot about subjects they are confident in, like to rant/be negative, decent general knowledge and wisdom, find it hard to contextualise themselves in a situation, have a few beliefs they are very passionate and adamant about..adorable and hot..heart of a poet, enjoy oh also- they seem to care about people’s immediate safety..an interest in animals/nature/plants
    Last edited by Bethany; 11-29-2022 at 12:36 PM.

  9. #1009
    Averroes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    TIM
    ESI-H 936 Sp
    Posts
    1,124
    Mentioned
    36 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I
    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @Averroes it’s not that uncommon for people to live with their parents in 2022..people can be dicks when they’re dating. Ignore, and next please
    The crux of the issue for her is that she kept giving me Fe hints (“you live here?!?!” “You’re kidding right?”) and instead of using that opportunity to explain that I’m not a deadbeat and was working towards moving out, I was just insulted and confused and told her she could leave if she wanted to. Would you say I was being a dumb, clueless guy in that situation? I can understand the culture shock and don’t think it’s unreasonable for a woman to want to know if you’re a deadbeat or not, but I just didn’t have the same bias against living in public housing that she does: it’s a decent sized apartment, I’ve never had issues/been mugged, and it’s a building full of elderly people and working families for the most part. I would’ve responded way better to an honest conversation about my goals and experience living there instead of shitting on it and expecting me to read her mind


    I guess I’ll just have to wait a year before I can date anyone above 24 seriously unless their family’s poor also
    Last edited by Averroes; 11-29-2022 at 07:32 PM.

  10. #1010
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Finland
    TIM
    SEI
    Posts
    3,841
    Mentioned
    289 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    The crux of the issue for her is that she kept giving me Fe hints (“you live here?!?!” “You’re kidding right?”) and instead of using that opportunity to explain that I’m not a deadbeat and was working towards moving out, I was just insulted and confused and told her she could leave if she wanted to. Would you say I was being a dumb, clueless guy in that situation? I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a woman to want to know if you’re a deadbeat or not, but I just didn’t have the same bias against living in public housing (and a relatively tame one at that where I’ve never personally had issues. It’s a building full of elderly people and working families for the most part) that she does. I would’ve responded way better to an honest conversation about my goals and experience living there instead of shitting on it and expecting me to use it as a prompt to justify my existence to her
    These things come up when dating, that's for sure. I try to be honest and direct without making a big deal about it. My very modest job and living space. Then I stand for who I am, that's always a good thing. But it's not always easy, sometimes I fail. Have I really accepted it myself? Dating is a lot about your public persona and one cannot escape that. Maybe your experience is a step towards becoming more comfortable with your situation? Can require some friction and suffering, which you just got.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

  11. #1011

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,562
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    A week or so ago I matched with a cute guy but I acted a bit weirdly and he unmatched me. I thought he looked quite cool and got excited. Like the type of guy I’ve fallen for before that wasn’t right for me maybe

    then I matched with another guy, the one I mentioned earlier in the thread and now I’m really nervous because he seems really nice and smart and normal
    Last edited by Bethany; 11-30-2022 at 08:04 PM.

  12. #1012

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,562
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Averroes I think you know if she was being rude..Someone on here said that in illusionary relationships it’s often down to the maturity of the extrovert whether or not the relationship will start/work. Also, chemistry seems highly important in these relationships- with ILEs I think I know if I like them fairly quickly. I annoyed an ILE guy on an app who looked ok, we matched a couple of times and I ignored him a bit..he got annoyed in the end and unmatched me. I think Tallmo’s advice is good. Honestly, if you’re a genuinely nice guy, you probably should be with quite a nice, non-judgemental woman. EP/IP and EG/IJ relationships don’t seem that easy to get started. There can be some misunderstandings at first- not to say you should let EJs off the hook if they’re rude at first..but at the same time bear in mind that they might not be used to IJ/EJ interaction..

    Using apps, whilst also having type knowledge whilst also learning about dating is a lot to contend with..but I have felt like I was moving forward..it’s not a waste of time
    Last edited by Bethany; 11-30-2022 at 07:57 PM.

  13. #1013
    AWellArmedCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Location
    Northern Japan
    TIM
    IEI-Fe 4w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,064
    Mentioned
    75 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @AWellArmedCat Yay, enjoy. I secretly hope she is SEI because I think lookalike can be one of the nicest ITR. Signs of being SEI..like to talk a lot about subjects they are confident in, like to rant/be negative, decent general knowledge and wisdom, find it hard to contextualise themselves in a situation, have a few beliefs they are very passionate and adamant about..adorable and hot..heart of a poet, enjoy oh also- they seem to care about people’s immediate safety..an interest in animals/nature/plants
    She definitely behaves very caregiver-y. I was really surprised to come home and find the bed neatly made, clothes all folded and put away, and grocery shopping all done. She also found a new way to hang up the laundry so it dries faster (I don't have a dryer). For dinner she showed me how to make Japanese fried chicken ^^

    I don't think I'm wired to expect caregiver behaviour so it really caught me off-guard, but I was grateful lol

    She seems super Alpha overall. So does her family. Her mom is just chill and hanging out in the living room with their little dogs, snacking, drinking tea, and reading all day. Her dad spends all his spare time taking photos in nature. Her mom is like her twin too. She's a nurse and looks exactly like an older version of my girlfriend who is going to start work as a doctor soon. The Si of their household is palpable
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

  14. #1014

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,562
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    She also found a new way to hang up the laundry so it dries faster (I don't have a dryer). For dinner she showed me how to make Japanese fried chicken ^^
    I love her. Sounds like a nice family too.

  15. #1015
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Finland
    TIM
    SEI
    Posts
    3,841
    Mentioned
    289 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @AWellArmedCat Yay, enjoy. I secretly hope she is SEI because I think lookalike can be one of the nicest ITR. Signs of being SEI..like to talk a lot about subjects they are confident in, like to rant/be negative, decent general knowledge and wisdom, find it hard to contextualise themselves in a situation, have a few beliefs they are very passionate and adamant about..adorable and hot..heart of a poet, enjoy oh also- they seem to care about people’s immediate safety..an interest in animals/nature/plants
    It's so funny that you have this firm belief in lookalike. I still don't see it, because I have never been able to connect with IEI, despite some decent superficial chemistry in the beginning. And my parents are ESI+LSI, and they have had some major communication problems and unrelatedness to each other. I still hope that you have seen something that I haven't, but I can't help thinking that maybe you don't know the SEIs well enough. But what do I know, maybe you have had great relations to SEI.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

  16. #1016

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,562
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    It's so funny that you have this firm belief in lookalike. I still don't see it, because I have never been able to connect with IEI, despite some decent superficial chemistry in the beginning. And my parents are ESI+LSI, and they have had some major communication problems and unrelatedness to each other. I still hope that you have seen something that I haven't, but I can't help thinking that maybe you don't know the SEIs well enough. But what do I know, maybe you have had great relations to SEI.
    Lol it's just my personal fave. The thing is I don't have great relationships with them actually, I'm too quiet for them. I do have an SEI friend but it's very business-like. It's not super easy. I think we tried hard with each other and just accepted that it's sometimes a bit awkward, and it doesn't matter because we both make an effort and sometimes it just feels super nice and interesting (I feel happy after seeing her, it's strange), plus we have friends in common. I worked with one SEI male for a year and that felt much more natural, we really got on..then I worked with another and we had intense superficial chemistry and it took us a long time to realise just how superficial it was. (Or simply way too intense, depending on how you look at it).

    I can think of three lookalike couples who seem like decent couples, only one I know well. My brother lives with a lookalike friend too, and I observe people being friends with lookalikes. I'm not sure how common SEI/IEI friends are..I don't know it may be that it's an easier friendship if you don't have much of a subtype (because I have a little bit of a subtype at least), or just better between some types. It's funny I seem to have collected some matches recently- one is SEE, one is SEI..and they're just there...I couldn't talk much to the SEI because I knew we would get on and I decided the SEE seemed..more appealing. Is it a coincidence that I was looking for an SEI...(edit, I don't mean looking I mean looking out for) and I might have found one. I'm at the point where I'm like, right I am going to give it a go with someone. (I've also found a nice SLE but don't wanna talk about that lol). But yeah, maybe we are just destined to end up with certain types? I think I've always gone for duals and IPs because my dad is SLI..similar types. Maybe I like the idea of IP relations because I'm easy going...it's quite a friendly relation.

    Socionics - the16types.info - Business Relations INFp and ISFp by Stratiyevskaya There is this article too...what I imagine about these couples is that they get into a nice rhythm, and it feels less awkward than at first. I can also picture people falling for lookalikes who aren't quite right for them..but staying with them anyway because it's not unbearable.

    I admit I romanticise it, I think the more exciting lookalike matches probably aren't built to last....but then maybe some are, and maybe it's just that they aren't for me..

    I also have two other SEI friends who I imagine I'll see every now and again, during my life. It's an interesting bond. It could be more of an SF/NF thing rather than lookalike specifically..

    I think the stronger ITR are the ones that don't seem that interesting lol. Apart from dual. But the most important things is probably a good connection. I've matched with some ok IEIs/ at least one LSI...but something tells me it would be an easier life with an SEI. And though I have liked ILIs in the past, I think they'd make me dwell on my past problems too much.

    Sorry kept editing and turned into an essay...

    oh also I think for romance I only like SEI-fe..I find that really interesting. Similar to how I don't fancy EII men...I don't think I fancy SEI-si. (Hard to say for sure). They just seem almost like women or something, does that make sense? Not that I literally think of them as feminine, but that their energy is too similar to mine or something
    Last edited by Bethany; 12-01-2022 at 09:22 PM.

  17. #1017

    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Lietuva
    TIM
    SLE-H
    Posts
    442
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    You guys have to stop screwing around and start making babies.

  18. #1018

    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Lietuva
    TIM
    SLE-H
    Posts
    442
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The quality of women I attract on dating sites is terrible. They are all gross looking. The problem is that majority of pretty girls online arent't that pretty. They just select a couple of good pictures and that's it. I'm used to girls falling for me in real life. Not just the girls, but majority of girls and especially the pretty ones. "Leo, let's go clubbing, my sister is coming to town". They try and they fail. Funny thing. Today, I switched to international mode in Tinder. I got tens of obese young sluts from US. They were all pretty bad looking and none of them swiped on me. Haha, fucking losers. Who's gonna fuck them anyway.

  19. #1019
    Moderator one's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    TIM
    my dool's dual
    Posts
    1,874
    Mentioned
    267 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Speaking of SEIs, they seem to confuse me a lot (of course not all). If I would describe it, they seem to remove the floor that I'm standing on when I least expect it. Just concerning types alone and not their overall personality, ESEs are actually easier to deal with. I guess it's just difficult to show trust compared to ESEs or other types, because sometimes they seem to hide things or show sensitivity and then I would feel like I did something wrong but I am not getting the exact statement that they are wronged but the more I shrug it off the more it turns out that they really were wronged and I just made it worse. And most of the time my mistake is not being able to deal with them in a way that is not that rude or hurtful, similar to some IEIs. I can try, and I do get very gentle when I'm already talking for a long time but if I space out and they start asking me things and I snap from it and give a quick answer, the default mode comes out and I just sound dismissive to them. Even just in text it's really bad. Just recently I answered a SEI and I just end up being dismissive because I gave a straightforward answer that could have been given a little bit of thought, because it seemed like I didn't even care about them. Compared to SEIs, I know what an ESE feels about me the exact time they feel it. I think the difference here too is I feel like ESEs don't mind me flatlining too much and they just impose more (at least that's how I feel). There is no problem with SEIs when it's just bonding or casually talking though. Plus I think I have learned enough how to sound kinder on texts and get into that mode if I really am aware. If I'm in a certain mode SEI and I mesh well together surprisingly.
    Last edited by one; 12-02-2022 at 06:39 AM.

  20. #1020

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    1,562
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @one it’s not ‘surprisingly’, super-ego can be a very good ITR, especially if you are a well-balanced individual

    my inner ILI is on a mission to spread the truth lol
    Last edited by Bethany; 12-02-2022 at 11:26 AM.

  21. #1021
    AWellArmedCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Location
    Northern Japan
    TIM
    IEI-Fe 4w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,064
    Mentioned
    75 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    It's so funny that you have this firm belief in lookalike. I still don't see it, because I have never been able to connect with IEI, despite some decent superficial chemistry in the beginning. And my parents are ESI+LSI, and they have had some major communication problems and unrelatedness to each other. I still hope that you have seen something that I haven't, but I can't help thinking that maybe you don't know the SEIs well enough. But what do I know, maybe you have had great relations to SEI.
    I'm kinda surprised you say this actually. I've never had any issues with SEIs before. They're a pretty hard type not to get along with I feel
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

  22. #1022
    AWellArmedCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Location
    Northern Japan
    TIM
    IEI-Fe 4w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,064
    Mentioned
    75 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Day 10 of living together and so far so good! I don't think either of us are looking forward to her having to go back to Aomori City next week.

    We were out at dinner the other night and she told me how much she likes that I'm not bothered by showing affection while we're out and she half-jokingly said she doesn't think she'll ever be able to date a Japanese guy again (Japanese guys are rather famously stereotyped as not even willing to be seen holding hands - just a stereotype to be sure, but she said her last boyfriend would absolutely never hold hands in public and it's more common than you might think here). I don't feel like I'm going overboard on the PDA, but apparently it's a lot for what she's used to.

    Also yesterday she took me to the gym and I followed her workout routine. I don't think I've ever been to a gym before. I did taekwondo for many years in the US and took a few kendo classes here, but I've never been to an actual gym gym. Anyways, I learned that despite being the average height of a fifth grader she could probably carry me out of a burning building without any difficulty. Her workout nearly killed me

    Anyways, here's another pic of her. This time in front of a Life Flight helicopter. She's the short one in the middle

    LifeFlight-min.jpg
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

  23. #1023
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Finland
    TIM
    SEI
    Posts
    3,841
    Mentioned
    289 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    I'm kinda surprised you say this actually. I've never had any issues with SEIs before. They're a pretty hard type not to get along with I feel
    If SEIs are easy to get along with as a type then that's not connected to the ITR. The ITR will manifest later. I don't have any issues with IEI either, it's just that we don't really connect despite of promising chemistry in the beginning.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

Page 26 of 26 FirstFirst ... 162223242526

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •