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Thread: Adventures in Dating

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    Quote Originally Posted by blaecaedre View Post
    irrational Fe valuers are on average the ones who are most comfortable with ephemeral relations, so for SLE, for example, this is rarely a deal-breaker
    Oh, really? I didn't know that was a trait associated with IEI/SLE, SEI/ILE! Makes sense though cause emphasis is more placed on the emotions of the moment, and I think my long-term analysis of these things is generally a pretty cold thinking process rather than a feeling one. I do romanticize things a lot, but I think my fantasy is mostly oriented around the moment in time I find myself in
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    I just started dating a cute med student from Aomori City. I'm not sure what her type is yet, but I'd say a sensor for sure. She's very put-together in her appearance, studies medicine, and really likes working out and yoga. Seems Fe-valuing from what I can tell as well. I've only been on one date with her so far though so I'm sure my understanding of her type will evolve. It went well though. We've been texting a lot, and we're going out again next weekend.

    I'm not sure how this is gonna work out though. I'm moving back to the US next August and although I think I may move back to Japan in the future it'll probably be couple years before I'm ready to do that. Meanwhile she's got to do 12 years working in Aomori City before she's free to do whatever she wants cause apparently that's how med school and licensing works here. Our paths seem to be pretty irreconcilable, but at the same time we both know that, and I almost wonder if a relationship with a specific time limit on it might be nice... Is it strange to think that?
    I don’t think so. I think it’s quite plausible. Just be clear on the intentions and enjoy it for what it is. Not every meaningful romantic connection is meant to be long term. In fact, I dated a guy for only TWO months but then we agreed to be friends and he’s been one of my best friends for the last 6 years. Although the situation caused a lot of mixed emotions, I have no regrets.

    Knowing that there is a time limit will most likely complicate things, but at the same time, “you only live once”, right?
    Last edited by EIE H; 11-11-2022 at 03:08 AM.

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    Dating takes up time, energy and patience lol. Even when the matches are ok! I miss the days of meeting someone on a night out and of not knowing their type and not being able to tell if they were suitable

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    I think my matches are getting better, touch wood. Happy girl.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    touch wood
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Going to be spending all day tomorrow with the girl I mentioned before. We've been texting pretty much constantly and Socionics came up by accident. She seems very interested in it! I might have a type guess for her soon. Currently I'm pretty sure she's a sensor at the very least given how pragmatic her interests and pursuits all seem to be (studying medicine, her main hobby is working out with her friends like constantly, and she hasn't really engaged with much imaginative media like anime/manga/etc.). I suspect Ep temperament, but kind of don't think SLE so am wondering if she could be SEE. MBTI is fairly well-known in Japan so she actually has already tested in that. She said she got ESFJ-turbulent
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    not that happy haha

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    I just started dating a cute med student from Aomori City. I'm not sure what her type is yet, but I'd say a sensor for sure. She's very put-together in her appearance, studies medicine, and really likes working out and yoga. Seems Fe-valuing from what I can tell as well. I've only been on one date with her so far though so I'm sure my understanding of her type will evolve. It went well though. We've been texting a lot, and we're going out again next weekend.

    I'm not sure how this is gonna work out though. I'm moving back to the US next August and although I think I may move back to Japan in the future it'll probably be couple years before I'm ready to do that. Meanwhile she's got to do 12 years working in Aomori City before she's free to do whatever she wants cause apparently that's how med school and licensing works here. Our paths seem to be pretty irreconcilable, but at the same time we both know that, and I almost wonder if a relationship with a specific time limit on it might be nice... Is it strange to think that?
    IF things go well : cancel your plans to leave, move to Aomori City, and in the future marry her. Live happily ever after.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Unfortunately @Nobita from Japan is not a Forum member but his videos are very interesting. This one fits this thread imho.




    By the way, what's his Type ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    IF things go well : cancel your plans to leave, move to Aomori City, and in the future marry her. Live happily ever after.
    Things have indeed gone well. I dropped her off at the train station this morning before work ^^;
    We're also gonna spend like three days together this weekend and I can't wait!

    I can't believe I didn't meet her earlier in my time here though... The thing is although of course I *do* have the option to stay, I have told my family who I'm incredibly close to that I wouldn't be recontracting for a fifth year so many times now. If it was just cause they didn't want me too, that would be one thing, but it's more than that because my grandpa's health has really not been good, and my dad told me yesterday the doctor told him he'd "be surprised if he had more than 8 weeks"

    I'm going back to visit for 3 weeks for Christmas and I hope that's not too late. One of my grandma's is also on the iffy side health wise... I already lost my beloved cat I had since I was a child while I was stuck here because of corona and couldn't go back to see him. I was the human he was closest to and most comfortable with and that hurt bad enough, but I can't have that happen with a grandparent...

    Still... I don't want my time here to be done. Especially not now. I feel like I don't have a choice, or like if I make the choice to stay I'm somehow betraying my family. I think I need to go back at least for awhile. Then maybe I can return to Japan again... I told her as much before we got too intimate and she said she could wait if it came to that. I said that was a very easy thing to say now, but probably a very difficult thing to endure in reality. We talked about it for quite awhile and then were just kinda quiet a long time before she asked if for now at least I would be hers and I said yes because of course I did...

    It's not a simple situation. I wish it were.

    In any case, it's going very well now, and we've spent the whole day texting. I really wanna be with her... ❤
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    We're also gonna spend like three days together this weekend and I can't wait!
    So... actually because she has no classes left for her graduate school program, just studying, she said she could probably stay a lot longer than 3 days. Like maybe closer to 3 weeks ^^
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Had a date with a Beta NF. We got comfortable super quickly and she was incredibly satisfying to flirt/banter with, but i feel like she’s gonna lose interest once she really gets to know me and has to endure enough awkward silences outside of the bedroom. Our connection seems to be entirely rooted in lust for now, which is a little disappointing

    edit: she apparently found our communication “effortless” and thinks we both share the same love language
    Last edited by Averroes; 11-23-2022 at 03:04 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    I just started dating a cute med student from Aomori City. I'm not sure what her type is yet, but I'd say a sensor for sure. She's very put-together in her appearance, studies medicine, and really likes working out and yoga. Seems Fe-valuing from what I can tell as well. I've only been on one date with her so far though so I'm sure my understanding of her type will evolve.
    So my understanding has indeed evolved somewhat.

    I now present...

    A tentative deductive typing that's probably wrong:


    ILE, ESE, SEI, LII
    EIE, SLE, LSI, IEI
    SEE, LIE, ILI, ESI
    LSE, IEE, EII, SLI


    Not likely to be IJ temperament. Too active, not at all "inert" or "rigid" in any sense. Took more initiative in starting our relationship than I'd expect from an IJ. Rule out LII, LSI, ESI, EII


    ILE, ESE, SEI
    EIE, SLE, IEI
    SEE, LIE, ILI
    LSE, IEE, SLI


    Not likely to be NT. Way too much emphasis on people and very little on systems/things. Rule out ILE, LIE, ILI


    ESE, SEI
    EIE, SLE, IEI
    SEE
    LSE, IEE, SLI


    Pretty emotive and tested as MBTI ESFJ-T. Probably F type so rule out SLE, LIE, LSE, SLI


    ESE, SEI
    EIE, IEI
    SEE
    IEE


    Probably not Ego-Ni given personal lack of proclivity towards imaginative activities (though she seems to enjoy Ni as I express it). Rule out EIE, IEI


    ESE, SEI
    SEE
    IEE


    Relatively volitional, and really into exercise/fitness. Ne-base is probably not possible. Rule out IEE


    ESE, SEI
    SEE


    Probably not EJ. Just not that "pushy" and restless. Seems very laid back. Rule out ESE


    SEI
    SEE


    Though volitional, seems unlikely to be Se-base, at least when combined with Fi. Gamma values really aren't that apparent. Feels more alpha to me as far as surface-level vibes go. Rule out SEE


    SEI
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    A tentative deductive typing that's probably wrong ....... SEI
    On review, this is actually very likely her type I think! Messing around with this tool (https://sociotype.xyz/d) I end up arriving at SEI or SEE no matter how I approach it. She's for sure an Ethical Emotivist, and that alone is sufficient to narrow things down to SEI, IEI, SEE, IEE. She also seems like a pretty straightforward example of a Sensing type. Like it really wasn't even hard to arrive at that conclusion. So for sure it'd have to be between SEI and SEE. Given she typed ESFJ-T in MBTI, I find it echoes my own typing journey in a sorta funny way. I also got caught between extinguishment pairs IEI and IEE with EIE as sort of another potential third option. I wonder if that happens a lot
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    I’m talking to a guy who I’ve spoken to before on another app. He looks different and now seems like a different type. He seems very nice. Talking to an SEE too.
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 11-27-2022 at 05:31 PM.

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    What do you think she VIs as?

    gf - Copy-min.jpg
    Attached Images Attached Images
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    What do you think she VIs as?

    gf - Copy-min.jpg
    maybe SLI
    actually ESE also makes sense
    https://linktr.ee/tehhnicus
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    Just got completely dressed down for 3 minutes by the EIE I was dating for being an unambitious loser and not giving an adequate, unprompted explanation for why I live in a slightly bad area with my parents instead of paying 1800 to live with roommates or in a rat infested studio

    She could’ve been kinder, but I do feel like I’m not living properly or motivated enough to take that next step in my life. I was attracted to her refinement and haughtiness but never expected it to blow back on me like this since I have a career.
    Last edited by Averroes; 11-28-2022 at 12:19 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    Just got completely dressed down by the EIE I was dating for being an unambitious loser and not giving an adequate, unprompted explanation for being the way I am
    I'm sorry, that sucks
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    What do you think she VIs as?
    SEI as a guess..from the way she is posing, but not sure

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    What do you think she VIs as?
    maybe an introvert
    she looks a little shy, she hides a little
    but from one picture it's pretty much a guessing game 99.9% of the time

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    @Averroes it’s not that uncommon for people to live with their parents in 2022..people can be dicks when they’re dating. Ignore, and next please

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    Quote Originally Posted by nifl View Post
    maybe an introvert
    she looks a little shy, she hides a little
    but from one picture it's pretty much a guessing game 99.9% of the time
    Yeah, I know a single picture isn't nearly enough. Honestly even video can be misleading. Basically everything other than real life interactions spread out over time in different lightings with different backdrops etc. will yield somewhat limited results I think. I was just sort of randomly curious what people thought off the cuff... and maybe also bragging just a little... ^^;

    In other news, we're currently living together since her parents' place is kinda far away and she doesn't have to be there for classes right now since she's graduating soon
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    @AWellArmedCat Yay, enjoy. I secretly hope she is SEI because I think lookalike can be one of the nicest ITR. Signs of being SEI..like to talk a lot about subjects they are confident in, like to rant/be negative, decent general knowledge and wisdom, find it hard to contextualise themselves in a situation, have a few beliefs they are very passionate and adamant about..adorable and hot..heart of a poet, enjoy oh also- they seem to care about people’s immediate safety..an interest in animals/nature/plants

    personal well-being is a priority for them too
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 12-10-2022 at 12:28 PM.

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    I
    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @Averroes it’s not that uncommon for people to live with their parents in 2022..people can be dicks when they’re dating. Ignore, and next please
    The crux of the issue for her is that she kept giving me Fe hints (“you live here?!?!” “You’re kidding right?”) and instead of using that opportunity to explain that I’m not a deadbeat and was working towards moving out, I was just insulted and confused and told her she could leave if she wanted to. Would you say I was being a dumb, clueless guy in that situation? I can understand the culture shock and don’t think it’s unreasonable for a woman to want to know if you’re a deadbeat or not, but I just didn’t have the same bias against living in public housing that she does: it’s a decent sized apartment, I’ve never had issues/been mugged, and it’s a building full of elderly people and working families for the most part. I would’ve responded way better to an honest conversation about my goals and experience living there instead of shitting on it and expecting me to read her mind


    I guess I’ll just have to wait a year before I can date anyone above 24 seriously unless their family’s poor also
    Last edited by Averroes; 11-29-2022 at 06:32 PM.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    The crux of the issue for her is that she kept giving me Fe hints (“you live here?!?!” “You’re kidding right?”) and instead of using that opportunity to explain that I’m not a deadbeat and was working towards moving out, I was just insulted and confused and told her she could leave if she wanted to. Would you say I was being a dumb, clueless guy in that situation? I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a woman to want to know if you’re a deadbeat or not, but I just didn’t have the same bias against living in public housing (and a relatively tame one at that where I’ve never personally had issues. It’s a building full of elderly people and working families for the most part) that she does. I would’ve responded way better to an honest conversation about my goals and experience living there instead of shitting on it and expecting me to use it as a prompt to justify my existence to her
    These things come up when dating, that's for sure. I try to be honest and direct without making a big deal about it. My very modest job and living space. Then I stand for who I am, that's always a good thing. But it's not always easy, sometimes I fail. Have I really accepted it myself? Dating is a lot about your public persona and one cannot escape that. Maybe your experience is a step towards becoming more comfortable with your situation? Can require some friction and suffering, which you just got.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    A week or so ago I matched with a cute guy but I acted a bit weirdly and he unmatched me. I thought he looked quite cool and got excited. Like the type of guy I’ve fallen for before that wasn’t right for me maybe

    then I matched with another guy, the one I mentioned earlier in the thread and now I’m really nervous because he seems really nice and smart and normal
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 11-30-2022 at 07:04 PM.

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    @Averroes I think you know if she was being rude..Someone on here said that in illusionary relationships it’s often down to the maturity of the extrovert whether or not the relationship will start/work. Also, chemistry seems highly important in these relationships- with ILEs I think I know if I like them fairly quickly. I annoyed an ILE guy on an app who looked ok, we matched a couple of times and I ignored him a bit..he got annoyed in the end and unmatched me. I think Tallmo’s advice is good. Honestly, if you’re a genuinely nice guy, you probably should be with quite a nice, non-judgemental woman. EP/IP and EG/IJ relationships don’t seem that easy to get started. There can be some misunderstandings at first- not to say you should let EJs off the hook if they’re rude at first..but at the same time bear in mind that they might not be used to IJ/EJ interaction..

    Using apps, whilst also having type knowledge whilst also learning about dating is a lot to contend with..but I have felt like I was moving forward..it’s not a waste of time
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 11-30-2022 at 06:57 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @AWellArmedCat Yay, enjoy. I secretly hope she is SEI because I think lookalike can be one of the nicest ITR. Signs of being SEI..like to talk a lot about subjects they are confident in, like to rant/be negative, decent general knowledge and wisdom, find it hard to contextualise themselves in a situation, have a few beliefs they are very passionate and adamant about..adorable and hot..heart of a poet, enjoy oh also- they seem to care about people’s immediate safety..an interest in animals/nature/plants
    She definitely behaves very caregiver-y. I was really surprised to come home and find the bed neatly made, clothes all folded and put away, and grocery shopping all done. She also found a new way to hang up the laundry so it dries faster (I don't have a dryer). For dinner she showed me how to make Japanese fried chicken ^^

    I don't think I'm wired to expect caregiver behaviour so it really caught me off-guard, but I was grateful lol

    She seems super Alpha overall. So does her family. Her mom is just chill and hanging out in the living room with their little dogs, snacking, drinking tea, and reading all day. Her dad spends all his spare time taking photos in nature. Her mom is like her twin too. She's a nurse and looks exactly like an older version of my girlfriend who is going to start work as a doctor soon. The Si of their household is palpable
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    She also found a new way to hang up the laundry so it dries faster (I don't have a dryer). For dinner she showed me how to make Japanese fried chicken ^^
    I love her. Sounds like a nice family too.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @AWellArmedCat Yay, enjoy. I secretly hope she is SEI because I think lookalike can be one of the nicest ITR. Signs of being SEI..like to talk a lot about subjects they are confident in, like to rant/be negative, decent general knowledge and wisdom, find it hard to contextualise themselves in a situation, have a few beliefs they are very passionate and adamant about..adorable and hot..heart of a poet, enjoy oh also- they seem to care about people’s immediate safety..an interest in animals/nature/plants
    It's so funny that you have this firm belief in lookalike. I still don't see it, because I have never been able to connect with IEI, despite some decent superficial chemistry in the beginning. And my parents are ESI+LSI, and they have had some major communication problems and unrelatedness to each other. I still hope that you have seen something that I haven't, but I can't help thinking that maybe you don't know the SEIs well enough. But what do I know, maybe you have had great relations to SEI.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    It's so funny that you have this firm belief in lookalike. I still don't see it, because I have never been able to connect with IEI, despite some decent superficial chemistry in the beginning. And my parents are ESI+LSI, and they have had some major communication problems and unrelatedness to each other. I still hope that you have seen something that I haven't, but I can't help thinking that maybe you don't know the SEIs well enough. But what do I know, maybe you have had great relations to SEI.
    Lol it's just my personal fave. The thing is I don't have great relationships with them actually, I'm too quiet for them. I do have an SEI friend but it's very business-like. It's not super easy. I think we tried hard with each other and just accepted that it's sometimes a bit awkward, and it doesn't matter because we both make an effort and sometimes it just feels super nice and interesting (I feel happy after seeing her, it's strange), plus we have friends in common. I worked with one SEI male for a year and that felt much more natural, we really got on..then I worked with another and we had intense superficial chemistry and it took us a long time to realise just how superficial it was. (Or simply way too intense, depending on how you look at it).

    I can think of three lookalike couples who seem like decent couples, only one I know well. My brother lives with a lookalike friend too, and I observe people being friends with lookalikes. I'm not sure how common SEI/IEI friends are..I don't know it may be that it's an easier friendship if you don't have much of a subtype (because I have a little bit of a subtype at least), or just better between some types. It's funny I seem to have collected some matches recently- one is SEE, one is SEI..and they're just there...I couldn't talk much to the SEI because I knew we would get on and I decided the SEE seemed..more appealing. Is it a coincidence that I was looking for an SEI...(edit, I don't mean looking I mean looking out for) and I might have found one. I'm at the point where I'm like, right I am going to give it a go with someone. (I've also found a nice SLE but don't wanna talk about that lol). But yeah, maybe we are just destined to end up with certain types? I think I've always gone for duals and IPs because my dad is SLI..similar types. Maybe I like the idea of IP relations because I'm easy going...it's quite a friendly relation.

    Socionics - the16types.info - Business Relations INFp and ISFp by Stratiyevskaya There is this article too...what I imagine about these couples is that they get into a nice rhythm, and it feels less awkward than at first. I can also picture people falling for lookalikes who aren't quite right for them..but staying with them anyway because it's not unbearable.

    I admit I romanticise it, I think the more exciting lookalike matches probably aren't built to last....but then maybe some are, and maybe it's just that they aren't for me..

    I also have two other SEI friends who I imagine I'll see every now and again, during my life. It's an interesting bond. It could be more of an SF/NF thing rather than lookalike specifically..

    I think the stronger ITR are the ones that don't seem that interesting lol. Apart from dual. But the most important things is probably a good connection. I've matched with some ok IEIs/ at least one LSI...but something tells me it would be an easier life with an SEI. And though I have liked ILIs in the past, I think they'd make me dwell on my past problems too much.

    Sorry kept editing and turned into an essay...

    oh also I think for romance I only like SEI-fe..I find that really interesting. Similar to how I don't fancy EII men...I don't think I fancy SEI-si. (Hard to say for sure). They just seem almost like women or something, does that make sense? Not that I literally think of them as feminine, but that their energy is too similar to mine or something
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 12-01-2022 at 08:22 PM.

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    You guys have to stop screwing around and start making babies.

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    The quality of women I attract on dating sites is terrible. They are all gross looking. The problem is that majority of pretty girls online arent't that pretty. They just select a couple of good pictures and that's it. I'm used to girls falling for me in real life. Not just the girls, but majority of girls and especially the pretty ones. "Leo, let's go clubbing, my sister is coming to town". They try and they fail. Funny thing. Today, I switched to international mode in Tinder. I got tens of obese young sluts from US. They were all pretty bad looking and none of them swiped on me. Haha, fucking losers. Who's gonna fuck them anyway.

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    @one it’s not ‘surprisingly’, super-ego can be a very good ITR, especially if you are a well-balanced individual

    my inner ILI is on a mission to spread the truth lol
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 12-02-2022 at 10:26 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    It's so funny that you have this firm belief in lookalike. I still don't see it, because I have never been able to connect with IEI, despite some decent superficial chemistry in the beginning. And my parents are ESI+LSI, and they have had some major communication problems and unrelatedness to each other. I still hope that you have seen something that I haven't, but I can't help thinking that maybe you don't know the SEIs well enough. But what do I know, maybe you have had great relations to SEI.
    I'm kinda surprised you say this actually. I've never had any issues with SEIs before. They're a pretty hard type not to get along with I feel
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    Day 10 of living together and so far so good! I don't think either of us are looking forward to her having to go back to Aomori City next week.

    We were out at dinner the other night and she told me how much she likes that I'm not bothered by showing affection while we're out and she half-jokingly said she doesn't think she'll ever be able to date a Japanese guy again (Japanese guys are rather famously stereotyped as not even willing to be seen holding hands - just a stereotype to be sure, but she said her last boyfriend would absolutely never hold hands in public and it's more common than you might think here). I don't feel like I'm going overboard on the PDA, but apparently it's a lot for what she's used to.

    Also yesterday she took me to the gym and I followed her workout routine. I don't think I've ever been to a gym before. I did taekwondo for many years in the US and took a few kendo classes here, but I've never been to an actual gym gym. Anyways, I learned that despite being the average height of a fifth grader she could probably carry me out of a burning building without any difficulty. Her workout nearly killed me

    Anyways, here's another pic of her. This time in front of a Life Flight helicopter. She's the short one in the middle

    LifeFlight-min.jpg
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    I'm kinda surprised you say this actually. I've never had any issues with SEIs before. They're a pretty hard type not to get along with I feel
    If SEIs are easy to get along with as a type then that's not connected to the ITR. The ITR will manifest later. I don't have any issues with IEI either, it's just that we don't really connect despite of promising chemistry in the beginning.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    @AWellArmedCat do you know her subtype? I’m fascinated by SEI-fe in particular. I was at a rave earlier in the year and a young good looking lad kept following me around like a little kid following their sibling around, it confirmed all my beliefs that SEI-fes are my soul mates. Despite the age gap, there was instant connection. I would call it romantic but it’d feel a bit unethical lol

    anyway I just realise it might be impolite to ask you about the subtype..but also happy for you, hope all is well

    i am chit-chatting with a nice guy atm, and can’t wait to meet him, it feels positive..

    also on SEI note, I am feeling grateful for my SEI-si friend, I have always thought she has a refreshing energy. Also a boyishness about her oddly, lol, weird IEI fancying everyone, everything. IEE are like this too lol.
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 12-22-2022 at 03:45 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    @AWellArmedCat do you know her subtype? I’m fascinated by SEI-fe in particular. I was at a rave earlier in the year and a young good looking lad kept following me around like a little kid following their sibling around, it confirmed all my beliefs that SEI-fes are my soul mates. Despite the age gap, there was instant connection. I would call it romantic but it’d feel a bit unethical lol

    anyway I just realise it might be impolite to ask you about the subtype..but also happy for you, hope all is well

    i am chit-chatting with a nice guy atm, and can’t wait to meet him, it feels positive..

    also on SEI note, I am feeling grateful for my SEI-si friend, I have always thought she has a refreshing energy. Also a boyishness about her oddly, lol, weird IEI fancying everyone, everything. IEE are like this too lol.
    I'm not sure about her subtype, but Fe wouldn't surprises me! She tests ESFJ in MBTI so that may be indicative of ISFp-Fe. I really doubt she's ESFj in Socionics since irrationality feels pretty obvious in her behaviour
    “Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
    — James Russell Lowell
    猫が生き甲斐

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