Page 25 of 25 FirstFirst ... 152122232425
Results 961 to 973 of 973

Thread: Adventures in Dating

  1. #961
    Dreymagine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2021
    TIM
    EII-Fi 614
    Posts
    315
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Yes this is common, one trip on youtube would point that out to you.
    Oh, okay. I've seen a fair amount Christian dating videos on the internet, but the ones I've seen just make fun of different things. Guys at Christian colleges approaching girls with "God told me I'm supposed to marry you," for example.

    I wasn't trying to argue with you, by the way. I was just surprised that it's common enough that no one being a matchmaker in my church would shock someone else. That's all.

  2. #962
    Dreymagine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2021
    TIM
    EII-Fi 614
    Posts
    315
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    Ok. You call them "Acquaintances". Tell me, how much time have you spent with them? How much/many times have you spent with them in prayer? How many times have you helped them with something? How many times have they helped you (likely unbidden as data suggests that you'd never ask directly as a broken individual but even braindead idiots can get thermonuclear hints if they actually give a fuck)?

    Imagine yourself in a life or death situation with them. How certain are you that they'd dump your ass at first opportunity or do you dare to hope they'd take a risk onto themselves to ensure you'd be among those who survived alongside themselves? Would you call anyone who merely entertains the thought of taking a bullet for you a mere "acquaintance" if they did so seriously? This is the line that can and does separate what one considers a mere acquaintance from a friend/true ally/lover. Yeah, ya might have liked that one dude a bit but ya only spoke to him for two minutes and it wasn't all that impressive. He dies it sucks but shit happens and ya don't lose much sleep over it. That's an acquaintance. Say you asked him about his true hopes and dreams and he answered honestly somehow and you actually both admired and respected both him and his aspirations. That's when you'd have shifted yourself from a mere acquaintance to the former 3 that are the true realms of relationships amongst the unbroken and healthily attached.

    This is what I keep harping on about when I speak of attachment issues. Hell, this is a major source of tension between me and my LSE mother. She constantly bids me to give her up to a nursing home so that I can be "free" of her. She thinks that my natural drive to take care of her will naturally drive any and all suitable mates from my presence. I tell her that if a woman is driven away from me because I desire to take care of her than it means she lacks a sense of filial duty and any woman who lacks that sense is unworthy of my commitment.

    This is also works in regards to the aforementioned Nursing Home. I tell her that those fuckers won't give a damn (let alone a shit or fuck) about her in the end. I've been spelling it out for her in terms for months on end and while she gets it more often than not she just keeps falling short at the final moments! Gah! Frustration! I guess this is because of my and how I just literally cannot turn it off. It's the thing you exude. Your Primary Function that is. It is the aura you give off. The innermost core no mask can ever hide. It's the "kernel" of your OS in computing terms...

    You're technically her dual so how do I drive home the point that credentials aren't the be all and end all? How one can and likely should come to regard them with suspicion in an environment where people that likely do mean them harm are in dominant positions of power?
    I don't know how to convince your mom of anything, sorry. My own ESI and SEE parents want to walk out into the snow together and die before they reach an age at which they have to enter a nursing home or be cared for by one of us daughters. That's what they say, anyhow. They'd better not actually do that.

    As for the people, I don't spend much time with them. With a couple exceptions (my fellow leader and a SLI guy I've known since 8th grade—both of whom I've spent more time with), I only meet with them once a week for like an hour. I've helped the leader with the Bible study, but that's not really helping her on a personal level, just contributing to the group. The SLI guy and I mutually helped each other with math in high school, and I guess I helped him in an emotional sense by offering him a listening ear when no one else would. That's it, I suppose. I'm like 3% sure that any of them would risk their lives for me.

    And for what it's worth, this "broken person" knows how to directly ask for help. It can be difficult to muster the courage to ask someone for help at work (though I always manage to ask eventually), but in any other environment it's easy to request help if I need it.
    Last edited by Dreymagine; 09-30-2022 at 11:41 PM.

  3. #963

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,208
    Mentioned
    61 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Oh, okay. I've seen a fair amount Christian dating videos on the internet, but the ones I've seen just make fun of different things. Guys at Christian colleges approaching girls with "God told me I'm supposed to marry you," for example.

    I wasn't trying to argue with you, by the way. I was just surprised that it's common enough that no one being a matchmaker in my church would shock someone else. That's all.
    Nah I didn't take it as argument I'm just in shock and wanted to stress how common it is.

  4. #964
    Poptart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    Ignorant mass
    Posts
    2,027
    Mentioned
    162 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Lioness View Post
    "Are there a lot of narcissists on dating apps?"
    Finally, a recent study from the journal Personality and Individual Differences can shed some light on this question. A study involving 555 participants found that there are more narcissists on dating apps than people who don't use them. They also found Machiavellianism predicted higher daily usage.

    “The psychopaths were more likely to have more problematic Tinder use or addictive Tinder use.
    “They’re on there a lot and are becoming addicted. The narcissists came in at four per cent of users, which is roughly the same offline. This survey looked at people who are really not okay; not just a little bit narcissistic, but highly narcissistic or highly psychopathic.


    LendEdu, a consumer finance comparison site, asked more than 3,800 millennials if they used Tinder and a staggering 72% of them said they did. When the researchers asked them why, 22% of those Tinder users answered that they are “looking for a hookup” and 29% percent said they use the location-based app for other reasons, which likely include friendship and curiosity. And only 4% said they were “looking for a relationship.” Meanwhile, more than 44% — by far the largest percentage — said they were swiping for “confidence-boosting procrastination.”



    "Wanna date?"
    "OK!"

    Really bad idea.
    I’m not afraid of being murdered or raped by someone I met on a dating app. There are things you can do to make yourself safer like meet in a public setting, get there early, don’t let him walk you to your car, keep all communication on the app (don’t give him your phone number), don’t use your full name or give out too much personal info. You can be picky about who you swipe right on. Personally I was never a fan of Tinder and only used Hinge and Bumble. I’ve never felt unsafe on a date with someone I met through an app. The only scary person I’ve ever dated was someone I met through a friend irl.

  5. #965

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,208
    Mentioned
    61 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    Sometimes I think about asking guys out.. but I fear rejection too much. Or even worse than rejection, I fear a guy accepting the date not because he likes me back but because he likes that I like him. That's heartbreak saved for a later date. Also, even without the rejection component, I'd feel so awkward about asking. How well do you have to know the person before you can ask them out? Is it weird to ask out someone who you've been with in a group but haven't spoken to directly? How do you go about actually asking them out? Should it be over text or in person? Should you explicitly ask them on a date or just ask them if they want to hang out? Should you suggest the time/place or let them pick? Should you not bother asking someone out unless you can feign absolute confidence? Do most guys find it weird when girls ask them out? Do they assume you're "desperate" (and therefore not good enough) if you're having to "resort" to asking them out?

    I'm overthinking it, maybe.
    I might get some hate for this but, I know that guys especially over the internet love to say "Oh man I WISH a girl would ask me out!". But, the truth is, at least from what I've seen, it's SO rare that a girl ask a guy out, that when a guy does get asked out by a girl he feels like kingpin, like he's must got something special going on, like he's got her wrapped around his finger, that's the most common response I've seen. And it's not always great for the girl because she gets treated like the desperate one chasing him. Girls treat guys like this all the time, but since guys deal with it often they know how to take it much better than the average girl. Rejection is something girls post about online like a rare event "Can you believe I asked this guy out and he said no.", this is like shocking for girls and normal for guys.

    I'd say if you like a guy, definitely smile when you two make eye contact, definitely engage him in conversation and make yourself easy to access, like standing in his vicinity in a room and be friendly for sure. Build some rapport with inside jokes and find common interests and be genuinely interested in your conversations with him. If he likes you all this will make it much easier for him to ask you out. But asking him out as a girl, from what I've seen, it's not always the best deal, I think it's better to invite him to stuff instead of "Hey do you wanna go on a date?". Just my 2 cents.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 10-01-2022 at 12:14 AM.

  6. #966
    End's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    TIM
    ILI-Ni sp/sx
    Posts
    1,674
    Mentioned
    276 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreymagine View Post
    I don't know how to convince your mom of anything, sorry. My own ESI and SEE parents want to walk out into the snow together and die before they reach an age at which they have to enter a nursing home or be cared for by one of us daughters. That's what they say, anyhow. They'd better not actually do that.

    As for the people, I don't spend much time with them. With a couple exceptions (my fellow leader and a SLI guy I've known since 8th grade—both of whom I've spent more time with), I only meet with them once a week for like an hour. I've helped the leader with the Bible study, but that's not really helping her on a personal level, just contributing to the group. The SLI guy and I mutually helped each other with math in high school, and I guess I helped him in an emotional sense by offering him a listening ear when no one else would. That's it, I suppose. I'm like 3% sure that any of them would risk their lives for me.

    And for what it's worth, this "broken person" knows how to directly ask for help. It can be difficult to muster the courage to ask someone for help at work (though I always manage to ask eventually), but in any other environment it's easy to request help if I need it.
    Frustration in accordance with my own theories! Gah! Why damnit why must this cycle perpetuate itself so effectively!? Damnit!

    I can only recommend what I tried and worked when I first approached my own SEE brother with my findings a year (give or take) ago when I told him of attachment issues. I went full there I admit and he just... understood. Actually guessed the "hidden terror" of infants on the first try. He then promised me he'd always try to make time for me whenever I asked. Try because he's got a lot of commitments in many fields but he still tries in earnest.

    Basically, just fully open up. Tell em' exactly what's going through your head and why you just have to say it to them no filter. Yeah, your brain will be screaming at you to not do that. Lie. Lie one more time both to them but most especially to yourself. Put that familiar mask back on and become that fascimile of a human being that you're now pretty confident won't get immediately abandoned by what happens to be your social milieu.

    I expected him to hate me or otherwise humiliate me somehow. Instead? He actually understood and we've been hanging out every chance we can. He's way more busy than I am so it doesn't always work out but we're both much closer now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I might get some hate for this but, I know that guys especially over the internet love to say "Oh man I WISH a girl would ask me out!". But, the truth is, at least from what I've seen, it's SO rare that a girl ask a guy out, that when a guy does get asked out by a girl he feels like kingpin, like he's must got something special going on, like he's got her wrapped around his finger, that's the most common response I've seen. And it's not always great for the girl because she gets treated like the desperate one chasing him. Girls treat guys like this all the time, but since guys deal with it often they know how to take it much better than the average girl. Rejection is something girls post about online like a rare event "Can you believe I asked this guy out and he said no.", this is like shocking for girls and normal for guys.

    I'd say if you like a guy, definitely smile when you two make eye contact, definitely engage him in conversation and make yourself easy to access, like standing in his vicinity in a room and be friendly for sure. Build some rapport with inside jokes and find common interests and be genuinely interested in your conversations with him. If he likes you all this will make it much easier for him to ask you out. But asking him out as a girl, from what I've seen, it's not always the best deal, I think it's better to invite him to stuff instead of "Hey do you wanna go on a date?". Just my 2 cents.
    This is why I recommend people lean into networks in regards to finding a mate. Problem is that (I gotta get a bit political here so forgive me) the PTB want nothing less than the total demonic inversion of everything. They want down to be up, good to be evil, evil to be good, and for women hitting on men be like men hit on women to be the norm rather than the exception. They want women to make catcalls towards men and for men to act all bashful and perhaps a wee bit disgusted towards them.

    Now I'll speak as an victim type. Guys who actually want to be aggressed upon know how it really works. If a girl asked me out before I did I'd tell her I admire her honesty but is she really sure about that? After all, isn't it easy enough for girls to get laid/land a date? Hell, it could be an SEE shit test. All the other broken and desperate men she hit with it just folded and begged her to make them her little bitch and drag them along limply to their bed?

    Fools. The conqueror/aggressor desires most of all a true challenge. The hard-won conquest is the one they'll savor until their dying day. My favorite example is that of Napoleon and Josephine. Josephine knew exactly how to wrap him around her finger so tightly he'd make her his queen without a second thought. A true conquer doesn't want the front gate to just rot away and grant them access to the city they're besieging. They want to find that critical weakness they were sure the opposing fuckers were sure they wouldn't find and use it to topple them. Preferably without anyone's help!

    Though I'd wager they wouldn't have minded the subtle hint their dual would have provided almost subconsciously...
    Last edited by End; 10-01-2022 at 05:03 AM.

  7. #967
    Ari Lady Lioness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    USA
    TIM
    ESI-SE
    Posts
    3,295
    Mentioned
    166 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    I’m not afraid of being murdered or raped by someone I met on a dating app. There are things you can do to make yourself safer like meet in a public setting, get there early, don’t let him walk you to your car, keep all communication on the app (don’t give him your phone number), don’t use your full name or give out too much personal info. You can be picky about who you swipe right on. Personally I was never a fan of Tinder and only used Hinge and Bumble. I’ve never felt unsafe on a date with someone I met through an app. The only scary person I’ve ever dated was someone I met through a friend irl.
    There's fear, and then there's a wise amount of caution. "Talking through only the app" suggests you do more talking than originally described.

    I still think it's unwise not to screen people through some conversation before meeting up.


    sᴏᴄɪᴏɴɪᴄs
    ESI-SE (CREATIVE)


    ᴀᴛᴛɪᴛᴜᴅɪɴᴀʟ ᴘsʏᴄʜᴇ
    EVFL


    ᴇɴɴᴇᴀsᴄᴀᴍ
    8w9 ᔆˣ/ᔆᵒ

    ᴅᴜᴍʙ ᴀsғ ᴢᴏᴅɪᴀᴄ
    ARIES

    What's your confirmation bias?

  8. #968
    Poptart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    Ignorant mass
    Posts
    2,027
    Mentioned
    162 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Lioness View Post
    There's fear, and then there's a wise amount of caution. "Talking through only the app" suggests you do more talking than originally described.

    I still think it's unwise not to screen people through some conversation before meeting up.
    In my experience there is conversation between deciding to go on a date and the actual date itself.

  9. #969
    Kardashev Scale Blade Runner 2017 2049 Bunny Giordano Bruno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Location
    Macroverse MtBattle ScholarsGarden RealMadridLive SuperNexus InfinitiesUltimate AllSpectraEverywhere
    TIM
    WiredforBattleShingo
    Posts
    3,256
    Mentioned
    73 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Dating is a blood sucking chore and a responsibility to enter a whole world of problems and hardship I can’t even begin to describe. I would just rather spend all day thinking, and having Bunny come into my thoughts following me everywhere as my Pikachu, thank you!!

    Hey, my girlfriend just flew into me December 2013, with magic, Star-shine, evanescence, and cinema, ahoy!!
    https://sabrinacasey.webstarts.com/9systemswishes
    https://sabrinacasey.webstarts.com/evolvedraichu
    Pokemon is somewhere fun over the Rainbow emblazoned by the Power of 4ever. The clouds soar and the island escalates a Lugia petal dance tempest blizzarding shiny Ash. Evanescence sparkles glistening auroras of mirth and high frequency channels embarking with the winds of new beginnings. This magical adventure turns on at the dawn of time in 2000. Ceremony and enchantment dazzle the world with colors galore. Mania and extravagance shape shift and transform into the greatest show on earth, the evolution of Pokemon
    Something has arrived. That threatens to throw everything terribly out of balance. When it comes, will you accept your destiny? And when it’s your chance to be a hero, will you rise to the challenge? This year, discover how 1 person can make all the difference! Pokemon the Movie 2000 The Power of 1

  10. #970
    EIE H's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    TIM
    EIE-Ni-H 359
    Posts
    105
    Mentioned
    48 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    After over a year of back and forth, LSI and I finally decided to try dating. Thanks for letting me use this thread as a temporary journal.

    I guess I tend to struggle a lot with “relationships” and the previous posts were about the up and down doubts that I battle with.
    Last edited by EIE H; 10-03-2022 at 06:10 PM.

  11. #971
    Dreymagine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2021
    TIM
    EII-Fi 614
    Posts
    315
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    Frustration in accordance with my own theories! Gah! Why damnit why must this cycle perpetuate itself so effectively!? Damnit!

    I can only recommend what I tried and worked when I first approached my own SEE brother with my findings a year (give or take) ago when I told him of attachment issues. I went full there I admit and he just... understood. Actually guessed the "hidden terror" of infants on the first try. He then promised me he'd always try to make time for me whenever I asked. Try because he's got a lot of commitments in many fields but he still tries in earnest.

    Basically, just fully open up. Tell em' exactly what's going through your head and why you just have to say it to them no filter. Yeah, your brain will be screaming at you to not do that. Lie. Lie one more time both to them but most especially to yourself. Put that familiar mask back on and become that fascimile of a human being that you're now pretty confident won't get immediately abandoned by what happens to be your social milieu.

    .
    Actually, I don't think my situation aligns with whatever theory you're referring to at all. I usually filter out sulky tangents about why I'm awful (though I'll vent that self-frustration to family and it occasionally manifests in the form of self-deprecating jokes with friends), and I have stuff that I only discuss with a couple trusted mentor figures. But otherwise, I'm an open book. I don't wear a mask or lie to people.
    Last edited by Dreymagine; Yesterday at 02:01 PM.

  12. #972

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,208
    Mentioned
    61 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @Tallmo, not a dating adventure, but how do you tell your dual to clean up after themself and actually get them to do it?

  13. #973
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Finland
    TIM
    SEI
    Posts
    3,784
    Mentioned
    282 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    @Tallmo, not a dating adventure, but how do you tell your dual to clean up after themself and actually get them to do it?
    I have no idea. Are ILEs bad at cleaning up? Maybe tell them "Please, clean up"
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

Page 25 of 25 FirstFirst ... 152122232425

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •