Adventures in Dating

[Bethanyclaire]

Dating seems like too much work. I'm not even in mid twenties yet and I'm tired just from hearing people talk about it. It just seems like meeting a bunch of random people that I don't care about and pushing myself to care about getting to know them. Maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way. Maybe the solution is to just date people you already know. How do you guys keep doing it? lol

when it comes to dating apps..less is more. Don’t bother too much with them if you’re young. I think music venues are the best place to meet people. My best advice which might not be applicable to everyone..the ones you fall for the hardest probably aren’t the right one for you. But fun to fancy/maybe date for a bit……yeah it’s good if you already know them- if you think they have something cute about them too

edit: oh maybe they are a bit better when you’re young though- I was always too shy to
use them..there might be better people but I still think the whole process of using them is stressful so best not to over-use them

[Bethanyclaire]

My best advice which might not be applicable to everyone..the ones you fall for the hardest probably aren’t the right one for you.

and you will be all like why didn’t they like me as much, why am I so weird that I liked someone who was too good for meee. And then you realise they’re not, or even if they are it’s not like you are unequal in a bad way. It’s more like really good supervision/benefit…and it can’t last..! At least I hope that’s the truth

[Adam Strange]

and you will be all like why didn’t they like me as much, why am I so weird that I liked someone who was too good for meee. And then you realise they’re not, or even if they are it’s not like you are unequal in a bad way. It’s more like really good supervision/benefit…and it can’t last..!

@Bethany, who we look for and who we should be looking for seem to be different.

https://www.wired.com/story/data-mar...=pocket-newtab

For the record, I've dated a few IEIs and I really like and admire them (because they are terrific people), but because I, myself, was in a Supervision relationship in my marriage, I'm resolute in not inflicting myself onto these women. Instead, I point them towards SLEs and hope for the best.

[Bethanyclaire]

@Bethany, who we look for and who we should be looking for seem to be different.

https://www.wired.com/story/data-mar...=pocket-newtab

For the record, I've dated a few IEIs and I really like and admire them (because they are terrific people), but because I, myself, was in a Supervision relationship in my marriage, I'm resolute in not inflicting myself onto these women. Instead, I point them towards SLEs and hope for the best.

oh great article..yep I know what you mean about supervision. I don't mean this in a bad way but LIE is the only type I can't picture myself dating (although I did fancy an LIE guy at uni). I don't tend to meet or fancy ESEs either but in my head I don't see IEI supervision over ESE as bad as the LIE/IEI dynamic. I'm probably completley wrong about that haha. I really don't like the idea of being someone's supervisor either..I guess coz being around your supervisor (for too long) does feel pretty stressful. What I was trying to say in my earlier post was that addictive relationships of any ITR might resemble supervision relationships...lots of fascination with each other but ultimately you end up making each other mad. I still would be intrigued to meet an LIE that doesn't feel like a typical supervisor...just to see how it feels But only out of curiosity...not to date them. So yeah I think addictive relationships would resemble a deceptively good seeming supervision relationship. Typically I don't find the average LIE fascinating but there have been a couple...I'm quite intrigued what makes these relationships work in the first place. I have had a few close ESE buddies and I was very fond of them. So I imagine it's something like that..very deceptively good-seeming indeed!

With LIE/IEI I think it takes a bit of time to break the ice

[Armitage]

@Bethany, who we look for and who we should be looking for seem to be different.

https://www.wired.com/story/data-mar...=pocket-newtab

It's warmth, senstivity, loyalty, and reliability that do predict relationship stability, as does attachment, because it's a catch-all construct for these previous relationship prerequisites: