Maybe she's a big fan of Whores.
Maybe she's a big fan of Whores.
Just ask her. If her explanation isn't satisfying, I'd recommend you to pass this one up, because she doesn't sound all too mentally stable. Also, if your brain is now saying: "But I'm neither all too stable.", then that isn't an excuse to date someone who will only worsen it. Either way, good luck, Adam!
@Lady Leviathan, I like my waters shaken, not stirred.
triggered
Me right now: Wants to say something, doesn't know what to say, doesn't say anything in the end. I should say something! But I've got no clue as to what? I have not been trained for this, this is feeling territory!
I don't know if this comes across right, but I'm sorry for your loss, @Lady Leviathan.
I got chatted up by a very young guy yday lol. Well, he wouldn’t leave me alone..far too young to fancy or keep in touch with but it was lovely to speak with him. He was SEI-fe, a particular type of SEI-fe that I meet rarely but I’ve come to know it as my most fave type of person. It’s nice to think there’s more than one of them out there. And funny to think you can connect with someone so naturally, despite them being half your age. I think this type of person is my faux dual. I think I feel safe with them as they remind me of my parents but also of me. ESE/SLI/IEI combo. A light floaty cheeky SEI prince. Sweet.
aww no he really was too young. Would have been far too weird. Sometimes a chance encounter is beautiful in and of itself It did make me feel happy..made me realise that there is a special type of SEI who likes me, and all the hurt that the SEI-fe from work caused me, wasn't meant to be. Or it was, but I have to move on because deep down I know he'd take away the hurt if he could because he did care even if he doesn't feel like he can show it. The boy on the night out was equally as charming and the attention was flattering and almost felt like a sign that I was right all along, when I felt the strong connection with the SEI at work. Even if it wasn't quite meant to be.
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 05-08-2022 at 07:04 PM.
I figure i'm always venting and I should add the good things (which are many) for a change...but then it just seems like PDA and makes me feel uncomfortable. Mother fucker. Well, that, and I consider those who might be lonely and single, and how sharing may just have the same effect as rubbing it in someone else's face that I have something wonderful that they don't have. Yet, if I don't share the positives, I'm then painting an imbalanced negative image of my partner.
This is why I am best with 1 on 1 where I can read the individual and avoid sensitivities in a way that's specifically tailored to what that person is able to hear. I can't predict all of the possible reactions of 75474885336 people on a forum, I have to know someone and predict just their's. My sharing never belonged on a forum.
I dont like it when someone beli3ves their voice doesnt belong. Its harmful to censor someone bc their happiness or grief makes u uncomfortable.
https://linktr.ee/tehhnicus
Jesus is King stops black magic and closes portals
self diagnosed ASD, ADHD, schizotypal/affective
Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
I want to care
if I was better I’d help you
if I was better you’d be better
Human Design 2/4 projector life path 1
My EII secretary is divorced and so am I, and I took her out to dinner and we were discussing our misadventures in dating.
I think that she and I both wish that we were more compatible, but we’re both pretty realistic about what we have together and what we’re missing.
She said that it was really hard to find “the One. That person who will be the last person.”
She said that her dates always start out with high hopes and then go downhill. She said she’s always waiting for that other shoe to drop, by which she meant, discovering that the well-dressed guy across the table is really an axe-murderer.
I told her that I solved the “compatibility” problem by only dating Duals, but within the Dual domain, I’m still looking for a good friend.
She asked me about the ESIs I’ve dated recently, particularly if they are jealous of other women.
I said that they appear to be lethally jealous. The ESI-Fi nurse hated the ESI-Se interior decorator, and the ESI-Se interior decorator said that the ESI-Fi nurse was damaged and wasn’t good enough for me.
The EII thought about that for a second and said, “Everyone wants to feel that they are Number One, and when they don’t get that, it kind of poisons the relationship.”
I said, “Well, you’re my Number One secretary. Never leave me, because I can’t replace you.”
She laughed at that, but it’s true.
Searching the whole wide world for your perfect fit sounds like a big game of whack a mole at Chuckecheeses, getting on a big chase for everything that seems like a golden opportunity, but really just turned out to be an illusory and fleeting hope of the crown on top to make the 2 of you king and queen together forever.
ORRE COLOSSEUM JUST GOT STARTED, AND KOBE IS REIGNING AS KING!!
It's Henry vs Zidane, France vs Spain in the 2024 Olympic soccer final, Egypt vs Japan, Yugioh vs Pokemon, Poimandres vs Zarathustra, Giordano Bruno vs Friedrich Nietzsche, haystack picnic robed in silver rods to treasures of lore and sacred spark to unite and forge dancing stars and futures refracting crystal moonlight lures of hanger bay crunching fabrics webbing steel and blizzards juice stringing code red trains of yonder fluid ribbons trophy waterfall cake blueprints frenzy retracting haunted capital terra horns of leading edge canopy blossoms rendezvous shuffling Articuno!!
RaptorWizard Sci-Fi Empire Lugia Bunny ~ Ultimate Aeon Willpower: Wes Net (the16types.info)
This is why people commit not just to a relationship but making it work for the long haul. The idea someone can get married and live the princess lifestyle is a fantasy. Having a culture that allows a breakup and departure with cash and prizes for any reason, while another's life gets shattered doesn't help. Marriage is supposed to be until death do you part. Not, "unless you feel like it".
I believe this is the EII hinting that she would have liked being your number one.
This is probably the coldest way of telling someone that you're not interested into her, it's even worse than: "I don't see you as a lover, because you're a sister to me." It would be approriate for you to change your profile name from Adam Strange into Adam Savage.
She laughed a sad laugh in which she accepted her defeat to never being able to date you.
Seriously Adam, ask your ESI-Se decorator what she thinks of your EII secretary, because I'm very interested to hear her thoughts.
I actually agree with Bunny here, because your fixation on finding the perfect partner does not take into consideration that we are all flawed people. As Carl von Clausewitz famously said: "The enemy of the good is the dream of perfection." Perfection doesn't exist, duals will also have arguments. I know that you know this, but you don't seem willing to admit this emotionally to yourself, even though your fixation on duality is the cause of your loneliness. I get the impression that you have been focusing on Socionics for so long that you no longer see the people behind the sociotypes. Socionics is meant to help you understand and work on your relations, not to follow as an instruction manual for which people you want to associate with. Adam, you really have to work on your Fi with some insightful help from others, because you cannot substitute your very own feelings and principles with psychological theories. I know, because I studied psychology for that very reason and had to go through quite some experiences to realize that that is not how life works. From there I started working on myself, and although I'm a flawed person too and still have to work on my Se, I have come a long way with my Fi.
@Lady Leviathan, could you tell Adam, please, because perhaps you may get through to him? I see him digging his own grave with the way he approaches life for the last half a decade and it worries me, but I see that he has invested too much into it to be willing to give up that easily. He's entrapped in the sunk cost fallacy. Honestly, I don't know what I should do to shake you out of it and to finally begin living life again, Adam.
I abhor his politics, but I love the memes! The guy's so ridiculously hilarious, there's just no way not to laugh!
Last edited by Armitage; 05-13-2022 at 10:39 AM.
I went dancing on Friday. A band was playing in a pub. They play Finnish tangos and traditional dance music. The lead singer is Dutch who sings in Finnish, this makes the band almost like a joke. They are not great but they can play. It's like a small orchestra with bass, violin, brass, guitar and singer.
I entered the pub. That's always exciting, and even a little frightening. There were some familiar faces, the same people go to these social dance events. I bought a beer and stood by the bar looking around. An older woman came and asked me to dance. We danced and I noticed that she was very drunk. I did my best anyway out of politeness. She said that she had been here for 30 years.
I spotted a familiar face and asked her to dance. She is good, we have danced before. While we were dancing I spotted a younger attractive woman outside the dance floor enthusiastically moving her body and looking at the band. Nobody had asked her to dance. I thought, maybe I should ask her.
Then the same old drunk woman came and asked for another dance. I wasn't happy about it, but I agreed. This time she was trying to concentrate despite being drunk. After the normal two dances she looked so happy and asked if we should continue dancing. I declined, saying that I need to dance with other women also. (I think that was an honest way to put it). I don't really mind cougars, they can be really nice and attractive, but she was too drunk and not attractive.
I approached the attractive girl I had spotted before and asked her to dance. She was a little surprised and gave the normal "instinctual" excuse, "I can't dance". But then her friend was just "I'll hold your beer, now go!". So we danced and she was also drunk, but very energetic. She was so energetic that I told her that she can lead if she wants to. I think it's a way for me to flirt sometimes, telling a girl that she can lead if she wants to. Switching roles can be exciting. She stared at me dramatically all the time, but I couldn't look her in the eyes, I had to pay attention to the dancing. After the dance she said she had enjoyed it and me being so determined or something. I was just leading the normal way, but sometimes this makes an impression on girls. She seemed Se, a drunk Se, but I can't tell the type. Could be Se base, or ESE or something else.
Nothing happened that evening, but it's exciting how easy it can be to make contact at these events. Sometimes adventure happens, sometimes not.
Are Finnish men generally conservative? (probably) Why aren't they dancing with the attractive unknown women standing some distance from the dance floor. I had no competition from other men. These girls can't really dance, they just happen to be there. But that's even better. This is a great opportunity.
New events coming up. I might return to this thread again.
Last edited by Tallmo; 05-15-2022 at 05:56 PM.
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
Went to the club for the first time in a while (I figured it would be good to dance and sweat a bit to help me lose some belly fat) and got chatted up by a dual. Run of the mill experience, as usual said dual asked me to be her fiancé and get married and live with her, yadda yadda, while claiming she can’t have a steady partner because she likes to “live at her own pace” (okay? As in getting smashed 24/7 past age 30?)
What’s with all these psycho duals I keep on meeting? Are there no remotely normal people outside anymore? I thought I was losing it living in my stuffy mom’s basement, but geez.
Yeah I don’t fancy anyone on dating apps (I’m in my thirties). I thought there might be some single SEEs at least but don’t seem to find many. They might prefer meeting people out n about..atm I’m talking to an ILE and SEI..maybe these types just stand out more for me. The SEI just looks like someone I’d want to get to know and the ILE is fit and likes the same music as me. I’ve been thinking about how much you can tell about a person from appearance alone- like sometimes I can talk to a cute SLE but I can tell there’s something not right about them..often in the eyes-they look a bit mean or something. There are probably some I completely miss as well because sometimes people don’t look good in photos..
I did my best to avoid meeting people in my twenties..but I did still meet a number of people who I think were good long term dating/marriage material. A few duals, a couple semi-duals, a few ILEs, one SEI, one SLI. To be fair I think all of them had their faults..I think they just seemed cool coz I liked them
Even as a young person, I think the chances of meeting the one or ‘one of the ones’ are quite low- I think maybe it’s normal to meet two people per year on average? I can’t remember how I came up with that figure lol but that’s if you include other types that aren’t duals :/
I wish the whole world knew about duals so it was normalised and didn’t seem like such a big deal haha. It’s the secrecy that makes it stressful lol
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 05-16-2022 at 04:24 PM.
Dating seems like too much work. I'm not even in mid twenties yet and I'm tired just from hearing people talk about it. It just seems like meeting a bunch of random people that I don't care about and pushing myself to care about getting to know them. Maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way. Maybe the solution is to just date people you already know. How do you guys keep doing it? lol
Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome
when it comes to dating apps..less is more. Don’t bother too much with them if you’re young. I think music venues are the best place to meet people. My best advice which might not be applicable to everyone..the ones you fall for the hardest probably aren’t the right one for you. But fun to fancy/maybe date for a bit……yeah it’s good if you already know them- if you think they have something cute about them too
edit: oh maybe they are a bit better when you’re young though- I was always too shy to
use them..there might be better people but I still think the whole process of using them is stressful so best not to over-use them
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 05-16-2022 at 04:20 PM.
I always search in the most fringe dating apps and seem to find one person after months of neglecting and occasionally returning to it. I've only found one person that way, and we were together for 8 months.
I'm back to waiting again. But I'll probably wait longer this time, I'm not sure I can handle another person for awhile.
I mean, I’m a fat basement-dweller, I get it. I understand you’re an older man too. I am not expecting “normal and super hot”, just “not psycho”.
I am certain that my quality would not improve if I were a dad, as much as I’d like to be your daddy.