Originally Posted by
Adam Strange
Well, here’s the thing. You can’t always control when people come into your life, and you probably can’t know a person very well, right away. At least, that’s true in my case.
For me, the dating stage is when I’m getting to know a person, and that person is getting to know me. Friends first, maybe, then if they like me, too, maybe something more. If things don’t look like “forever” and we decide not to get closer, then neither of us feels shocked or surprised or betrayed.
I’m not really conflicted very often, but I am usually unsure. Fi is the ability to assign a clear, personal value to things, and I don't do Fi well.
This is absolutely true for every ESI that I’ve ever met. So far, none of them have felt that way about me, too.
Maybe I’m waiting for the same thing. Lol.
This is actually very perceptive. It’s exactly how I close the distance in relationships. Sometimes, the other person wants to grow closer, but usually, they don’t.
I’ve been in a lot of relationships, and have been in love with many of the women. Some of them have been in love (or so it appeared) with me, but I’ve only ever asked one woman to marry me, and she refused. She wanted to just keep on having sex and living in our own respective places. I gave her an ultimatum and she finally agreed, but marriage was not something that she wanted in her future.
So, when it comes to some kind of magical meeting of two like minds and two hearts beating as one, that hasn’t happened to me yet. That state of simultaneity has eluded me, hence I just show up and see where the woman is headed.
There is one other complication. When two people are very young, they neither know so well how things turn out, nor do they have a lot of material possessions to complicate a joint venture. This makes commitment a lot easier, believe it or not.