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Thread: Adventures in Dating

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    Quote Originally Posted by nifl View Post
    @godslave
    i'd be surprised if you weren't NF. you have a consistently cute style and a complex inclination, whereas ST speech is on the other hand rather mundane compared to yours.
    Thank you for your kind words ! NF mb
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    Quote Originally Posted by Expansion View Post
    What about SF for GS? Like ESI.

    Complex speech and metaphor indicates abstraction but not ideation. Leading up to ideas is not the same as starting with ideas.

    Just pay attention to intuitive types here and S types and see if you tell what is N in there. Everyone uses N, but where is it at? At the end or beginning?
    That's a very interesting and rather original (at least to me) distinction. Perfect for a philosophical debate !
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    Love the idea of sharing dating experiences! Dating truly is a mix of the good, the bad, and the downright unexpected.
    I remember a hilarious matchmaking mishap. I connected with someone online, thinking we had similar interests. Turns out, their version of "hiking" was a leisurely stroll, while mine was scaling mountains! We laughed about it, but it was a reminder that even with shared goals, there's always room for surprises.
    Speaking of dating journeys, this international matchmaking service might resonate. They specialize in helping folks find that special someone who truly aligns with their aspirations.
    Last edited by laurenewison; 08-23-2023 at 10:22 AM.

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    Thanks for the replies, guys, and sorry for the late response!

    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberry Milk View Post
    Congrats *confetti pops out*

    I know this is a happy moment for you but I really felt called to say this. Take it with a grain of salt, I don't know the gal neither do I know you. But the quickest way to get to know somebody is to live with them. They may seem nice, and maybe they are, but are you able to live with them? Deal with their antics and habits? What if she picks her nose and rubs boogers across the walls?

    Not only that but don't get used. No one ever does it for love, especially not women. Most of the time it's for a place to stay or financial help. That pussy may make you feel high on heaven but that high will eventually wear down. :///
    Absolutely, you're right. It's just that it's pretty rare for me to have such good psychological compatibility with someone. We both seem to soothe each other in a way that never really happened to me before. Can't quite explain it, but I always felt "on edge" in my previous relationships. She's naturally very trusting and honest about her feelings and I find that reassuring somehow.

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    I hope you're correct. However, like I've said before, socionics type is ultimately an incidental/tertiary concern. What matters most in this regard (and indeed in anything involving interpersonal relationships) is attachment. Have you discussed your long term life goals with her? Has she shared hers with you? Do they match up?

    How about core principles? Like, what are the 3-4 cardinal virtues you'd tell God you're all about? (e.g. Mine are Faith, Loyalty, and Courage and that manifests itself pretty obviously in all I say and do) What are yours and what are hers? Do those jive well? Do you really like her because of how she makes you feel over how compatible you are in regards to these core considerations? Are either of you actually taking concrete steps towards realizing said goals? Are both of you being "Confessing your sins to a Catholic Priest in the confessional as a devout and practicing Catholic" honest with each other? If no than either she, you, or ya both got more work to do.

    Marriage/Family is serious business. Far FAR too many people (due to broken attachment) risk it all on a very poor bet that anyone with good attachment would have seen as bad a light year away.

    If you're scared to tell her you want children, would prefer to live/raise your family in X faith (atheism counts as a faith BTW), etc. and that you've got convictions solid enough to tell her to get bent if she wants to directly contravene them and you fold like wet toilet paper when she does you're setting yourself up for a very painful and potentially suicide inducing divorce 5-7 years down the line if you're lucky.

    Not type related: Never bang a girl who is crazier than you. Bad attachment and Crazy are directly correlated. Again, hope you've hit the jackpot but be smart about that. If ya win the Powerball take the upfront payout. That 20k A month for X-years sounds better unless and until you fully understand how inflation works.
    Thanks for the advice!

    As a Socionics fundamentalist, I believe we match in terms of values precisely because we are duals. Honesty is a big one for me, which includes expressing our feelings without judgement, Loyalty of course is important, and mutual support is also something I value. She seems to understand and value those things just as much as I do, which is pretty good.

    As for the marriage and kids stuff, we talked about it and are definitely on the same page. Let's just say "go forth and multiply". lol

    I think another big point to take into account in a partner is parental acceptance, probably more important for women than for men (as in, if her parents don't accept you then you're screwed). A few days ago she mentioned that her Dad said that it's okay to marry me. Life comes at you fast...

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    I did match with a girl who types as ENTJ on some dating app. Thought this can be interesting, she is into typing and we may have sth in common. She then sends her fx trading photos when flirting. LOL never been disinterested so fast.

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    Quote Originally Posted by idol View Post
    I did match with a girl who types as ENTJ on some dating app
    In common, it's people who did tests. Some could read a popular book. Sometimes got official MBTI typing, what improves not much.
    Such situations should be understood that a type may easily differ on a single dichotomy trait. For socionics users should also be added a mirror type.
    ENTJ: ENTJ + ENTP + ENFJ + ESTJ + INTJ (+INTP)
    5-6 types can be. Rather different IR.

    > Thought this can be interesting

    Mb there are typology using dating/meeting sites. Try ISFPs there. But the chance that the said type is correct starts since 30%, - accuracy of an average test and best mb ~50% for people who were typed by someone experienced. The especial fun is to get your conflictor/superego which are among close types.

    P.S. On socionics accented sites the range of a type difference can be higher, as Socionics has the nonsense of "Reinin traits" and who knows what else is used (alike Gulenko does). The accuracy that the type is correct should be not worse, but when incorrect - then variants may differ stronger.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    In common, it's people who did tests. Some could read a popular book. Sometimes got official MBTI typing, what improves not much.
    Such situations should be understood that a type may easily differ on a single dichotomy trait. For socionics users should also be added a mirror type.
    ENTJ: ENTJ + ENTP + ENFJ + ESTJ + INTJ (+INTP)
    5-6 types can be. Rather different IR.

    > Thought this can be interesting

    Mb there are typology using dating/meeting sites. Try ISFPs there. But the chance that the said type is correct starts since 30%, - accuracy of an average test and best mb ~50% for people who were typed by someone experienced. The especial fun is to get your conflictor/superego which are among close types.

    P.S. On socionics accented sites the range of a type difference can be higher, as Socionics has the nonsense of "Reinin traits" and who knows what else is used (alike Gulenko does). The accuracy that the type is correct should be not worse, but when incorrect - then variants may differ stronger.
    Good idea, I'll try this. I'll maybe compare between all 4 kinds of SFs.

    But what really wil happen that I'll have a bad date with some degenerate beta NF who just want to be choked and do drugs .

    Edit: tried Boo and uninstalled so fast. I didnt see one non-fat chick out of hundreds. Tinder is the way still.
    Last edited by idol; 09-19-2023 at 10:31 PM.

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    I ran into an old friend at the coffee shop yesterday. We talked a bit and he asked if i want to join him meeting his new flirt and maybe her sis. Had a double date with sisters.

    One of the sisters was quite logical, immediately gueesed how the stories went down, had trouble showing emotions and reacting to compliments (this was my friends flirt). Other one was much more expressive, very emotional, talkative and critized ethically, also said she lives to eat good food. I typed the first one as ILI and second one as IEE.

    What started as a fun evening got a bit weird when my friends talked about some bad evidents, misfortunates, negative states of emotions. Me and the ILI chick were weirded out by how the other two enjoyes these things and called callous by other two. ILI girl said she also experiences emotions but doesnt dramatize like them and ask for my support. I responded by saying “No, im dramatic as hit i just dont care about what they discuss”. When their crying fest continued i asked ILI if she wants to leave with me and suggested that she invites me to her home. I think she liked me more than my friend but didnt want to risk it.

    I enjoyed my evening as double dates are more fun than one on ones. The IEE probably thought im some sorta psycopath, i find her very charismatic and boring at the same time but sexy (she had great legs ).

    I dunno if i should try to date her once more ? I dont think it would go well one on one. Maybe if we dont talk at all it will be very good but to get there requires some talking.

  9. #1129
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    Cross-posting here, because it applies:

    I was with an ESI dual for just over three years. We were perfect sub-type matches, her ESI-Fi to my LIE-Te, and great enneagram matches, her e6 to my e8. But I just broke it off.

    She liked me, and told me that she needed my help from time to time, and we were definitely sexually compatible, but she really didn't seem all that interested in being in a relationship. She just didn't reach out.



    I'm not sure if she just wasn't alert to the fact that some people can be Duals. Plus, her mother and father were both Aphas. (Her father was a philandering ESE, and her mother was either LII or, possibly, LII, her older sister was LSI and her older brother was SLI, so she was an all-alone Gamma in enemy territory. Her parents constantly criticized her, and that bent the twig pretty far.)
    She'd had two very unsuccessful marriages, the first to an SEE and the second to an LSI, so she had no idea what life with an LIE could be like, and didn't seem to be interested in (or capable of) finding out.

    Oh, well.

    Next!

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    I've been seeing my interior decorator, a lesbian ESI-Se e6, several times a week for a few years. I figure that the house will be good in one or two more years. She's got a long-term partner now, but if I were younger and if she played on my ball team, I'd marry her in a minute.

    Strange that you can be so compatible with people whom you can't sleep with. Damn.

    Post Script:
    I saw a speculative picture posted on here by someone who was guessing what she looks like. Totally wrong.
    Here she is, shopping and spending money:
    https://imgur.com/a/zmZfucZ

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Cross-posting here, because it applies:

    I was with an ESI dual for just over three years.
    I think it's the first time you are mentioning this! Makes me wonder what led to this character development. And what happened with the match.com lady you were about to start seeing right before you left the forum?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    I think it's the first time you are mentioning this! Makes me wonder what led to this character development. And what happened with the match.com lady you were about to start seeing right before you left the forum?
    Kali, my memory for everything outside of facts and business sucks, so my timeline is imperfectly remembered. This is the lady from Match. We talked online for one year, then met and traded bodily fluids and entertaining stories with adventures for two years, then I called it quits. As I mentioned, she seemed not interested in being in a relationship, unless I insisted, and even then, not so much.

    My son and ex and my interior decorator and my ESI buddy all told me that she wasn't engaging the way they thought I deserved to be engaged with, but hell, I'm slow, and she never gave me a reason to drop her, until I realized things were not going to change.

    I'd like to blame her for the breakup, but realistically, I've had ten GFs, and only one LTR (three, if you count three years as long-term) so the problem could also be with me. It's not like I'm normal, or had nurturing parents, or anything. The ESI interior decorator says that I have some problems. Why she sticks around, I have no idea. Sometimes, I get to wondering if


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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Kali, my memory for everything outside of facts and business sucks, so my timeline is imperfectly remembered. This is the lady from Match. We talked online for one year, then met and traded bodily fluids and entertaining stories with adventures for two years, then I called it quits. As I mentioned, she seemed not interested in being in a relationship, unless I insisted, and even then, not so much.

    My son and ex and my interior decorator and my ESI buddy all told me that she wasn't engaging the way they thought I deserved to be engaged with, but hell, I'm slow, and she never gave me a reason to drop her, until I realized things were not going to change.

    I'd like to blame her for the breakup, but realistically, I've had ten GFs, and only one LTR (three, if you count three years as long-term) so the problem could also be with me. It's not like I'm normal, or had nurturing parents, or anything. The ESI interior decorator says that I have some problems. Why she sticks around, I have no idea. Sometimes, I get to wondering if

    I have the impression you came back roughed up. You vibe like DogOfDanger. Could it be that she stays around due to your business deal?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    I have the impression you came back roughed back. You vibe like DogOfDanger.
    No, not DogOfDanger! Not that! The guy is ILI; super Victim.

    OK, so I liked the Match ESI. We got along, and now we don't see each other. Yeah, I feel a bit roughed up, but thanks for pointing that out. I'll stop using this place as therapy and I'll buck up.

    If I were still drinking, I'd have three shots, then three more, and wake up normal in the morning, ready to move on.

    Hmmm.

    Tempting.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    Could it be that she stays around due to your business deal?
    You mean the ESI interior decorator? Lol, yes. I'm paying her very well, but not more than she's worth to me. Still, there might be more to the relationship than just money. She asked me for advice the other day on how to fix her car.
    A tiny bit more, anyway.

    Although, honestly, I think I'm like a Happiness drug to her, based on what I observe. She doesn't have the hots for me, but she likes the feeling she gets when she's around me.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 10-03-2023 at 08:51 PM.

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    For a logical type you sure do love to talk about all these ESI women with perfect subtypes but for some miraculous reason it doesn't work out. Like all the other ethical types here that idealize every romantic partner they have as a dual
    Quote Originally Posted by idiot View Post
    I have been thinking about what Alive was saying about everyone on here being IEI, and I conclude that he is right, or at least he is on to something.

    If Jung based his theories on the people he met in his life, even if he met more people than the average person, that means that he based his theories on a certain type of person. The type of person who might go to him for therapy or talks, or who might believe the esoteric ideas he was spouting at the time. Thus it's possible that he did not categorize all humans into types, but just made subtypes for a specific type of person. This overarching type of person is the same type that is heavily interested in theories of this kind, and whom Alive says is an IEI.

    Therefore, Alive is right. We are all IEIs with subtypes. With that, I'm off this forum
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Kali, my memory for everything outside of facts and business sucks, so my timeline is imperfectly remembered. This is the lady from Match. We talked online for one year, then met and traded bodily fluids and entertaining stories with adventures for two years, then I called it quits. As I mentioned, she seemed not interested in being in a relationship, unless I insisted, and even then, not so much.

    My son and ex and my interior decorator and my ESI buddy all told me that she wasn't engaging the way they thought I deserved to be engaged with, but hell, I'm slow, and she never gave me a reason to drop her, until I realized things were not going to change.

    I'd like to blame her for the breakup, but realistically, I've had ten GFs, and only one LTR (three, if you count three years as long-term) so the problem could also be with me. It's not like I'm normal, or had nurturing parents, or anything. The ESI interior decorator says that I have some problems. Why she sticks around, I have no idea. Sometimes, I get to wondering if

    Simple answer: it's convenient, you're a nice guy, you've got money.

    Good to see you back!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alive View Post
    For a logical type you sure do love to talk about all these ESI women with perfect subtypes but for some miraculous reason it doesn't work out. Like all the other ethical types here that idealize every romantic partner they have as a dual
    I think a lot of people are IEI, but @Adam Strange in my opinion is not, despite your advice.

    He's too talkative, broadcasting, large, global. He doesn't quietly sit and meditate on the secrets of the universe.
    Systems master Wes came to completely understand Marius Florin, stars reflecting infinite gold and glow to avatars flutter pens timer clockwork psychic questing polarizing Zen Milky Way cafe climax fountains animating ocean druids collecting battle tower fusion raiment installing peace and remedies to journals of essence and yarn to danger wishing sandstorm buffet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alive View Post
    For a logical type you sure do love to talk about all these ESI women with perfect subtypes but for some miraculous reason it doesn't work out. Like all the other ethical types here that idealize every romantic partner they have as a dual
    Attempting to solve relational issues by a logical approach seems like something that's usually attributed to logical types, especially when treating a personality forum as the preferred sounding board for discussions on how to solve these ethical problems. You know, instead of taking up these discussions at work in a highly technical field where the bulk of the day is spent. Being very active in discussing whatever matter seems rather fitting with extroversion, especially EJ, as well.
    From an engineering standpoint, you could look at having a problem with relations over years and decades, start to think how to solve this problem and figure that one likely solution is to find personality traits that mesh well together. For an ethical type, these things should be more natural and spontaneously learned, not seen as mechanistic and mathematical problems to solve with the help of descriptive theories. Just like for a logical technical type, it's not as necessary to discuss problem solving approaches, it's also more natural and self-learnt over the years.

    Your confusion about logical types being uninterested in good relations smells like it's coming from a place of deep bitterness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizardWes View Post
    I think a lot of people are IEI, but @Adam Strange in my opinion is not, despite your advice.

    He's too talkative, broadcasting, large, global. He doesn't quietly sit and meditate on the secrets of the universe.
    I don't think that an active participation in an online forum necessarily points towards extroversion, and Adam mainly writes about relationships and women he meets, it's the main focus of his profile. One of his newer postings mentioned how he pays too much money to a woman he likes or that works for her (don't remember the details at the moment) which suggests a weak focus on Te from my point of you.
    Quote Originally Posted by idiot View Post
    I have been thinking about what Alive was saying about everyone on here being IEI, and I conclude that he is right, or at least he is on to something.

    If Jung based his theories on the people he met in his life, even if he met more people than the average person, that means that he based his theories on a certain type of person. The type of person who might go to him for therapy or talks, or who might believe the esoteric ideas he was spouting at the time. Thus it's possible that he did not categorize all humans into types, but just made subtypes for a specific type of person. This overarching type of person is the same type that is heavily interested in theories of this kind, and whom Alive says is an IEI.

    Therefore, Alive is right. We are all IEIs with subtypes. With that, I'm off this forum
    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...ung-s-subjects

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alive View Post
    I don't think that an active participation in an online forum necessarily points towards extroversion, and Adam mainly writes about relationships and women he meets, it's the main focus of his profile. One of his newer postings mentioned how he pays too much money to a woman he likes or that works for her (don't remember the details at the moment) which suggests a weak focus on Te from my point of you.
    Well relationships are the main focus of this forum. What else is he supposed to talk about?

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    Quote Originally Posted by idol View Post
    I ran into an old friend at the coffee shop yesterday. We talked a bit and he asked if i want to join him meeting his new flirt and maybe her sis. Had a double date with sisters.

    One of the sisters was quite logical, immediately gueesed how the stories went down, had trouble showing emotions and reacting to compliments (this was my friends flirt). Other one was much more expressive, very emotional, talkative and critized ethically, also said she lives to eat good food. I typed the first one as ILI and second one as IEE.

    What started as a fun evening got a bit weird when my friends talked about some bad evidents, misfortunates, negative states of emotions. Me and the ILI chick were weirded out by how the other two enjoyes these things and called callous by other two. ILI girl said she also experiences emotions but doesnt dramatize like them and ask for my support. I responded by saying “No, im dramatic as hit i just dont care about what they discuss”. When their crying fest continued i asked ILI if she wants to leave with me and suggested that she invites me to her home. I think she liked me more than my friend but didnt want to risk it.

    I enjoyed my evening as double dates are more fun than one on ones. The IEE probably thought im some sorta psycopath, i find her very charismatic and boring at the same time but sexy (she had great legs ).

    I dunno if i should try to date her once more ? I dont think it would go well one on one. Maybe if we dont talk at all it will be very good but to get there requires some talking.
    I'm horrible at typing. The "IEE" and I got intimate and she is the caricaturized version victim/agressor. There is certainly attraction of sorts, not saying is my dual but one of those fiery ITRs.

    Can be my conflictor. I'm not sure maybe, EIE or SEE, she has some temper. She kept calling me emotionless and insensitive but I think she was teasing me. Deep down she knows its not true but showed an understanding attitude towards those edgy - brutal honest comments masked with light teasing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by idol View Post
    Can be my conflictor.

    I remember 4 conflictors, as minimum, which inspired significant attraction. In all cases I knew them badly before emotions were noticed.
    Despite what your and other human types are, to be interested in surfacely known conflictor is easy. In later communication, following the sexual attraction, you may don't pay attention on personal mismatches. That you tire from personal traits and behavior more, than get positive and supportive influence.
    There is even cultural ideology that human of opposite sex is personally alien to the degree that can't be good friend to you. The idea of opposing of sexual and friendly attraction. All this is wrong, but describes the common case as mainly pairs are done on sexual attraction and with half-blindness to other sides. So yes - it's practical norma, but a pair can be significantly better too.
    Conflictors is alike cultural ideal for pair choice - they attract by having what you don't, by difference expected in different sexes, but also appear as hard to be accepted as persons, to adopt to their wishes. You'll stay always "wrong" for them. Feel much of demand and lack of help, what supposed as common for initial step for pairs, with what "romance" is associated the most. This is following to an illusion, which lasts until you are blinded by sexual instinct, - the time of ~3 years which are needed to born a kid and to rise to age of acceptable chance of keeping alive.
    Want a "classical romance"? With passions and heart pain. Conflictors is the choice.
    Want good pair? Pay the attention on how friendship support and cooperation develop, besides sexual fog in the mind.

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    I've been on a couple dates with an EII. I don't see it going anywhere long term, but she's nice to spend time with.

    I think the fact that we're both more Ne-ish than most of our types helps matters. I have a difficult enough time reading her; "normal" EIIs are even more difficult for me. And then there are other type similarities -- Ne creative/Si HA I think gives us similar approaches to pleasure and aesthetic preferences, similar energy levels, similar perception and "noticing" of things.

    We walked around an arboretum and its surrounding park the other day, then went out for coffee. I've only dated an SEI before, who never seemed to like physical activity much or had much interest in or liking of unfamiliar surroundings, so I guess it surprised me on some level that the EII seemed to genuinely enjoy walking around for a few miles. Might not be 100% related to type, but I do think there's some -- at least I think that the EII's experience of something like that is basically similar to what mine would be. In any case, it was really pleasant to have a shared appreciation of something rather than feeling one party was humoring the other -- would often feel like SEI was annoyed at me if she took a walk with me.

    The Delta judgementality and orneryness is real though. In two days I've heard her twice seriously use the expression "back in my day." We're both in our twenties, lol.

    As far as Fi/Ti goes: again, she can be difficult for me to read, and if I say something it can feel like I'm waiting for her judgement. And she's a black hole of Fe, which is interesting. As far as her Te-seeking goes -- she often has ideas that I think are halfbaked, and I'm not sure how to address them (if I should address them?). Might be a hangover on my part from the SEI who was sensitive to T criticism -- I'm hesitant to do anything that can seem "mean," especially if I don't have to be. I tend to see things more in terms of what doesn't work/fit, and the more "constructive" criticism of 4D Te people doesn't come so naturally to me. So I've kept quiet about a lot for fear of offending her, especially since the consequences don't generally seem so bad. A few days ago though I had to quickly correct her about something mildly embarrassing in public, and I was concerned I'd hurt her feelings, but she seemed pretty OK with it, so my fear might be slightly inflated.

    Oh yeah, and she's very cute. I feel like the impact of cuteness on ITR is something that's been neglected.
    Last edited by FreelancePoliceman; 10-09-2023 at 03:40 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    I've been on a couple dates with an EII. I don't see it going anywhere long term, but she's nice to spend time with.

    I think the fact that we're both more Ne-ish than most of our types helps matters. I have a difficult enough time reading her; "normal" EIIs are even more difficult for me. And then there are other type similarities -- Ne creative/Si HA I think gives us similar approaches to pleasure and aesthetic preferences, similar energy levels, similar perception and "noticing" of things.

    We walked around an arboretum and its surrounding park the other day, then went out for coffee. I've only dated an SEI before, who never seemed to like physical activity much or had much interest in or liking of unfamiliar surroundings, so I guess it surprised me on some level that the EII seemed to genuinely enjoy walking around for a few miles. Might not be 100% related to type, but I do think there's some -- at least I think that the EII's experience of something like that is basically similar to what mine would be. In any case, it was really pleasant to have a shared appreciation of something rather than feeling one party was humoring the other -- would often feel like SEI was annoyed at me if she took a walk with me.

    The Delta judgementality and orneryness is real though. In two days I've heard her twice seriously use the expression "back in my day." We're both in our twenties, lol.

    As far as Fi/Ti goes: again, she can be difficult for me to read, and if I say something it can feel like I'm waiting for her judgement. And she's a black hole of Fe, which is interesting. As far as her Te-seeking goes -- she often has ideas that I think are halfbaked, and I'm not sure how to address them (if I should address them?). Might be a hangover on my part from the SEI who was sensitive to T criticism -- I'm hesitant to do anything that can seem "mean," especially if I don't have to be. I tend to see things more in terms of what doesn't work/fit, and the more "constructive" criticism of 4D Te people doesn't come so naturally to me. So I've kept quiet about a lot for fear of offending her, especially since the consequences don't generally seem so bad. A few days ago though I had to quickly correct her about something mildly embarrassing in public, and I was concerned I'd hurt her feelings, but she seemed pretty OK with it, so my fear might be slightly inflated.

    Oh yeah, and she's very cute. I feel like the impact of cuteness on ITR is something that's been neglected.
    She is EII and not LII after all?

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    She is EII and not LII after all?
    Yeah.

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    reposting for posterity after LSI ex contacted me again. thanks, @Adam Strange.

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @wonderwoman, I dated an LSI for four years after my divorce, and I broke up with her four times. Just told her that we weren't meant for each other, cut contact, and a few months later, she'd contact me again. We got back together three times (because I like her most of the time, the sex was fantastic, and I'm weak), but the last breakup stuck because I made it stick. Even though she contacted me a couple times since then, too.

    I know an LSI male who had some kind of mid-life crisis, divorced his wife, lost weight, bought a large boat, tried to date, and two years later remarried his ex-wife.

    I think that LSIs need structure, and since they are kind of chicken-shit in romance (EJ Arendee's words), they have a hard time approaching a new target and tend to want to fix the old target.

    When the behavior of any particular type puzzles you, realize that they are treating the world as if it was entirely composed of Duals. Who is the Dual of LSI's? EIEs. The most mercurial, shape-shifting, role-playing type in the socion. A type whose moods change like the weather.
    A person who is built for EIEs is a person who is grounded, stable, persistent, and who doesn't give up just because someone says they want out or they became a different person.

    YOU, wonderwoman, are being treated the way an LSI treats an EIE.

    Just bear in mind, you're not fundamentally different from the person you were when you broke up with the LSI, and the LSI is exactly the same person you broke up with. So, upon contact, you can expect to slide right back into the exact same situation you were in when you left them.

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    You know what's not good?

    It's not good when you see a woman and the first thing you think of is that you want to fuck her. Maybe all afternoon, then take her out somewhere that she's never been before. A ball game. A field under the stars. Maybe she has a face you can't forget. Whatever.

    It's not good because the guy is thinking with the wrong head, and when that other head passes out, you're often left with an intellectual problem.


    On another note,

    I've often been surprised by the fact that women don't appreciate being the object of this kind of attention. I mean, maybe they want flowers first, or something, and I can understand that. But I also think that they are missing something important.
    Women grow up thinking that every guy wants to have sex with them (they think this until they're 40, anyway, when life seriously changes for them), but not every guy wants to have sex with every gal. I mean, we have standards, most of the time.
    When we're not drunk, that is.
    But when a guy wants to have sex with a woman, she should know that that guy thinks that she, particularly, is special. Exactly how special depends on the guy's social and internal development, but in any case, special.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    You know what's not good?

    It's not good when you see a woman and the first thing you think of is that you want to fuck her. Maybe all afternoon, then take her out somewhere that she's never been before. A ball game. A field under the stars. Maybe she has a face you can't forget. Whatever.

    It's not good because the guy is thinking with the wrong head, and when that other head passes out, you're often left with an intellectual problem.
    We aren't all intellect. The intellect is for solving problems; making it your primary approach to life is only going to create them. "When all you have is a hammer..."

    I think that if your intellect is strong enough, then you're able to deal with the problems your desire costs you.


    I've often been surprised by the fact that women don't appreciate being the object of this kind of attention. I mean, maybe they want flowers first, or something, and I can understand that. But I also think that they are missing something important.
    Women grow up thinking that every guy wants to have sex with them (they think this until they're 40, anyway, when life seriously changes for them), but not every guy wants to have sex with every gal. I mean, we have standards, most of the time.
    When we're not drunk, that is.
    But when a guy wants to have sex with a woman, she should know that that guy thinks that she, particularly, is special. Exactly how special depends on the guy's social and internal development, but in any case, special.
    Women say a lot of things. What they do or don't claim to appreciate I'd take with a bit of salt.

    Is there someone special to you you're thinking of?

    Anecodotally, being drunk dramatically reduces my sex drive.

  29. #1149
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    I’m shocked most girls think every man wants sex with them.

    I always viewed things in a far more plush and elegant potion of stars and swords to plant impossible spaceships with hyperspace rings.
    Systems master Wes came to completely understand Marius Florin, stars reflecting infinite gold and glow to avatars flutter pens timer clockwork psychic questing polarizing Zen Milky Way cafe climax fountains animating ocean druids collecting battle tower fusion raiment installing peace and remedies to journals of essence and yarn to danger wishing sandstorm buffet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    You know what's not good?

    It's not good when you see a woman and the first thing you think of is that you want to fuck her. Maybe all afternoon, then take her out somewhere that she's never been before. A ball game. A field under the stars. Maybe she has a face you can't forget. Whatever.

    It's not good because the guy is thinking with the wrong head, and when that other head passes out, you're often left with an intellectual problem.


    .
    some people can change their sexual orientation and preferences while othres not. some people can enter psychopathic or other mental states and some are stuck there their entire lives. i think its a form of OCD
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    Been trying to date again. Briefly dated an LII and met with a ILE. Quasi-identical and extinguishment. The LII led to constant arguments, rarely agreeing on anything. It pretty much happened exactly as it was foretold.
    I haven't had much progress with the ILE yet. The prophecies say it will end up in flames as well, but I'm still trying. He's already put a barrier in front and keeping his distance. I don't like that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dextrous
    Been trying to date again. Briefly dated an LII and met with a ILE. Quasi-identical and extinguishment. The LII led to constant arguments, rarely agreeing on anything. It pretty much happened exactly as it was foretold.
    I haven't had much progress with the ILE yet. The prophecies say it will end up in flames as well, but I'm still trying. He's already put a barrier in front and keeping his distance. I don't like that.
    How far did you get with the LII? You said you dates briefly, but "constant arguments" seems strange for people who don't know each other well to have.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    How far did you get with the LII? You said you dates briefly, but "constant arguments" seems strange for people who don't know each other well to have.
    It was for 3 months, long distance and never met each other in person. We talked to each other every day at least a few messages a day. I think we eventually ran out of things to do with each other. Burnt out too fast. We had similar interests but different approaches. I'm still friends with him though. He hasn't wronged me or anything like that we just grew out of liking each other.

    I'm trying to date in person a lot more now but I find it pretty difficult. The ILE I met in person but we are pretty different and he is keeping his distance. I feel like he already knows we aren't a good fit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dextrous View Post
    It was for 3 months, long distance and never met each other in person. We talked to each other every day at least a few messages a day. I think we eventually ran out of things to do with each other. Burnt out too fast. We had similar interests but different approaches. I'm still friends with him though. He hasn't wronged me or anything like that we just grew out of liking each other.

    I'm trying to date in person a lot more now but I find it pretty difficult. The ILE I met in person but we are pretty different and he is keeping his distance. I feel like he already knows we aren't a good fit.
    ITRs only come across in person, so if you find someone online, you should meet them ASAP.
    @dextrous, why not try an SEE? Tell them that you can help them with money.

    Or, if SEEs scare the hell out of you, you can do what 80% of the ILIs do, which is to go for an ESI. An ESI is less satisfying for an ILI, but more stable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    ITRs only come across in person, so if you find someone online, you should meet them ASAP.
    @dextrous, why not try an SEE? Tell them that you can help them with money.

    Or, if SEEs scare the hell out of you, you can do what 80% of the ILIs do, which is to go for an ESI. An ESI is less satisfying for an ILI, but more stable.
    Oh I would go for an SEE if the option is there. They are hard to come by because they are in completely different spaces. I'm slowly starting to put myself out there so I can get noticed.
    Basically, I'm somewhat desperate and I'm not too fussy, so I'll give people who I have some interest in a chance. Has not worked out yet though.
    I have an ESI friend who's been blue balling me for many years now and I'm seriously considering just blocking him. It's possible I mistyped him but I'm fairly confident of this one.

  36. #1156
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    I find LSI females to be hot. I mean, I can relate to their practicality and I get a kick out of how rule-observant they are, and the fact that they secretly fear that they are men inside (LIE females have the same concern) makes them want to prove to you that they are female. Which can lead to sex pretty easily, if that is your goal.

    The problem I have with LSIs is that they seek the constant drama of the EIE, and I, as an LIE, just don’t like drama. This has wrecked more than one of my relationships with LSIs. They are fantastic in bed, good friends when just hanging out together, and a pain in the ass when there are other people present. Having a crowd around just seems to inspire LSIs to cause drama.

    I was telling this to my female lesbian ESI interior decorator. I said that sex with LSIs is insanely great but the rest of the relationship has terminal problems, while with ESIs, the sex is comfortable but not insanely great, and the rest of the relationship is excellent. She, who last year started a LTR with a Ti-dom female, said that she doesn’t think that it’s necessary for a person to get everything they need from just one individual. My last, twice-divorced, ESI GF said the same thing; that you can get good sex from one person, have a good friendship with a second person, and get good advice from a third.

    Well, I used to think that, too, back in the days when I felt that compromising myself in relationships was OK. I don’t feel that way now.

    I’ve been looking for an ESI-Fi for a long time, but I haven’t found a good one yet. I’m like the guy who has decided that the only car for him is the Mercedes 560 SEC. Maybe because it has timeless beauty, strength, and durability, and you don't care that it gets 2 miles per dollar. Now try finding one that has been driven, so all the seals work, and was well-maintained and not abused by it’s former owners. That hidden corrosion, the hydraulic fluid leaks, and the #7 cylinder misfire will make a good car bad.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 01-22-2024 at 02:36 PM.

  37. #1157
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    In mid-July, I last went out with an ESI-Fi whom I had been seeing on and off for about three years. We had a good time walking around Ann Arbor, and after that, she just texted me once every two months or so.

    Since I don't want to be in a relationship with a dismissive-avoidant, I decided to give up on her and the relationship. I stopped initiating, but I'll answer her texts. It seems the decent thing to do, since she didn't exactly treat me unkindly; just selfishly. I wasted a lot of time with her, but I did learn something.

    Yesterday, she texted me saying she wants to get together when she's in town next month.

    I'll tell you, I'm not good at relationships, but my exposure to this forum and its links to discussions of Dismissive-Avoidant relationships has been a godsend. Normally, I'd be completely confused by her behavior, but now, I understand that she's just doing the Dismissive-Avoidant playbook.

    I've been having trouble moving on from her, since I felt that she and I were pretty good together, when she wanted to get together, but today, I'm back on Match and Tinder. Because I don't want to play the Dismissive-Avoidant game.

    For whatever reason, I find it easier to part with someone or something when I have a better prospect.

    Next!

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    Our Adam is an original fuckboy

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    Quote Originally Posted by rizz View Post
    Our Adam is an original fuckboy
    Lol. Yeah, lemme tell you, being SX-first and a Victim truly sucks. God, I hate it.

    But certain things go with the territory, you know? You spin the dial and get a certain type, and then you take the bad with the good.


    Post script.

    Ordinarily, no one would see this side of me, but I'm anonymous here and I use the Forum for cheap therapy, sort of the same way an IEI writes about her experiences in order to get them outside herself so she can see them more objectively.
    (This is the reason that so many writers for television and movies are IEI. Plus, they really do know people. Just not themselves very well.)

    Post postscript.

    I definitely go into a relationship with an ESI with too many expectations, and I'm way too willing to let pass a lot of their shit. It's because I've tried all the other introverts, and the ESIs are the best of the lot. But healthy ones are hard to find after age 30. They are all faithfully married to ILIs and wondering why they aren't happy, or are dating SLEs and beating the emotional shit out of them until the breakup. The ones who are single are single for a reason.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 01-22-2024 at 05:19 PM.

  40. #1160
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    I was up way too late last night, following YouTube's video suggestions, one after another, and I ended up stupidly watching a video of AI images constructed from science fiction images from the 1930's. Who would have guessed, right?

    Anyway, one of the images resonated with me because of the woman's striking beauty. Here it is: https://imgur.com/a/vA5762Z
    It took me a while to see that she looked almost exactly like my SLI-Te ex-wife. My brain doesn't work that well at 2:30AM, but apparently, it is trained to see certain facial patterns.

    There is a face construction program out there which will combine the faces of a number of people into one composite. I did that a while ago for a number of women whom I find attractive and I got this face: https://imgur.com/PNuz4bl

    It so happens that the latter face looks almost exactly like the ESI-Se interior decorator that I use. She wouldn't like it if I posted a picture of her, so you'll have to take my word for that. To me, the composite face looks ESI-Se. Fun to work with, but hard to get close to. Supposedly, a better match for an LIE-Te is an ESI-Fi.

    I should do another face composite exercise, updated for Fi, just to be prepared if a good match comes along.

    I use VI to identify Socionics types, and it is surprising how much of our personalities show up in our faces.

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