@Foxy Grandpa, have you discussed with him yet what both your expectations are of this?
@Foxy Grandpa, have you discussed with him yet what both your expectations are of this?
I'm happy for the two of you!
Um so I was trying..but honestly, I think there's a chance he might be a catfishOriginally Posted by Armitage
Yes, look at the positive side of your duals liking you. It's always nice validation to experience that handsome duals go chasing you!
Just like Foxy says, he might make for a good friend. Even more, summer's around the corner, and you might plan a fun holiday coincidentally nearby his village. You might then message him that you're around and if he'd like to meet up.
In the end, distance is a problem that can be resolved, whereas mutual attraction, duality, and healthy attachment cannot be controlled. You can probably guess what weighs heavier in my opinion. So go for it girl, take your chances, and get to know him. If you two hit it off, you can always use your weekends to travel back and forth, if you can sleep over at his place. That way you use your travel time way more effectively, haha.
There are options, so don't let the distance scare you, because this might be the opportunity for a relationship. Best of luck, @Bethany!He's location keeps changing on the app, it's very odd. It's ok though because I'm talking to another SLE who seems real nice..I was sort of ignoring him up until a point, distracted by an SEE and the hot catfish SLE..but now he's got my attention
God, dating.
I never understood why dating websites are such complete and utter crap. Paid ones included. Services designed to cut to the chase and provide an efficient way to find and connect with compatible people, end up just wasting your time and energy. Most of the time you're interacting with bots, fake profiles, scammers, or people blatantly misrepresenting themselves. I've met a few girls via Tinder and similar apps, but the overall experience on these platforms seems only marginally better. Last woman I met on Tinder turned out to be some sort of an escort or con artist, acting weirdly distant and entitled at the same time, trying to lure me into buying her a $100 drink on our first (and last) date, somehow thinking I would be down with that kind of shit.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Didn't know there was such a thing as a "foodie call."
That sounds like a solid strategy. Most times I don't want to waste time and just fling it, go to meet them if they are near by. But it always ends up wasting more of my time (and theirs), despite the goal being the opposite.
Now that I think about it, the very few encounters I've had which haven't been horrible have been with girls I've texted and/or spoke to over the phone a couple of times, taking the time to know them a little bit prior to meeting them.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
I went on a date with a blonde, blue-eyed ESI yesterday. She was pretty easy to get along with.
She showed me pictures of her co-workers. They were all blonde, attractive women, and were all (with one possible exception) Alphas.
She said “All these women stick together. I think they get ahead by sleeping with the boss. (He looked Alpha, too.). They all go to parties together, but I don’t go. I just won’t do it.”
“One of them said to me “I can’t be around you because you’re like a crazy person.”
She paused and looked at me. ”Maybe I’m crazy?”
She was not crazy. I thought she was comfortably normal. She just was a Gamma in an Alpha workplace.
I think this might be the way an Alpha might feel in a Gamma workplace.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 03-15-2022 at 11:27 AM.
I was in a very nice restaurant on a date with an ESI from Match who was wearing at least four rings on various fingers. She explained to me that the rings had belonged to her parents. She started taking them off and setting them on the white tablecloth, one by one.
”This one belonged to my mother. And this was my father’s ring. See how much smaller it is than my mother’s? He had little fingers.”
It briefly occurred to me to try one of the rings on my own fingers, but it was obvious to me that they wouldn’t fit. I have large knuckles and a workman’s hands.
As she was doing this, she had a sour expression on her face. Kind of a typical ESI resting bitch face mixed with condemnation memories of her parents.
The waiter had been observing us from a distance and came over to offer us more water. He said, “Oh, no. Is someone getting de-married?”
I had never heard that term before, so I was momentarily at a loss for words.
These guys must see stuff like this all the time.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 03-15-2022 at 11:25 AM.
I was in a restaurant yesterday and sat near a couple who seemed completely compatible with each other.
She was dark and sleek with a brilliant smile. She was wearing a low-cut black knit top which nicely constrained “that brave vibration, each way free” which seemed to happen every time she cut her steak. She exuded the feeling of “fresh, fun, and interested in YOU”.
The guy she was sitting across the table from was skinny and had a shattered look to him, as if he had been assembled from broken bits of glass and black leather scraps. He was quite a contrast to her smooth, polished exterior.
I’m pretty sure she was EIE and he was LSI.
Yes, oh God dating, indeed. Well, propose a videocall with the hot SLE, because like @Foxy Grandpa said, it's the best way to find out if he's a catfish or not. Catfish never agree to videocalls, because in-time responses cannot be stolen like photographs or deepfaked like recorded videos. Don't pass up an opportunity with a great guy, if you can determine the truth in clever ways!Um so I was trying..but honestly, I think there's a chance he might be a catfish
Also, atta girl for finding yourself another SLE! Go at it!
@Armitage yeah I might have been being a bit paranoid, was on some meds briefly. Dating does do weird stuff to your head lol. And it’s kinda hard talking to duals/ semi duals. The video call option is not a bad idea, speeds things up too.
Ime people just want attention on those websites. At least, all the good looking ones. I've had people "like" me but suddenly when I like them back they disengage. It's like they're just testing the waters to see how desirable they are.
How would you know such a thing unless you're projecting?
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Intuition.How would you know such a thing unless you're projecting?
Did the dating or the psychoactive medication do weird stuff to your head?
I guess I mean all the anticipation involved in talking to people on apps- there can be a lot of mixed emotions even just in the chatting phase. I think I get a bit scared that I’ll quite easily idealise a dual, like them and maybe end up rushing things. I had the weirdest convo with the catfish/ not catfish guy, I’ll tell you later. Both duals I’m talking to now don’t live that near me, although one is much closer than the other. It’s been a while since I’ve had a date..it will be nice if I arrange one..
Yes, it will be good to go out on a date, as long as it's in a safe public space first, especially with the catfish/not catfish dual. I'd be interested into hearing the weird conversation you had with the catfish/not catfish dual, @Bethany. I wish you the best of luck in your search for love and may you find a nice partner for yourself, you deserve to be loved.
Or perhaps some people only swipe right without bothering to look through the pics/profiles (to save time), and once they get liked back or gain a pool of matches, then they decide whether they want to match with potential candidates.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
No... there are women who perceive almost anyone that speaks to them as eager, but you don't want to get with these women anyway, they're typically narcissists and it's better to avoid them. Putting women off is weeding them out, put them off, who cares. Besides, you can't sustain being inauthentic for very long anyway, inevitably you'll have to be yourself. It will always be rare that you find someone you're genuinely compatible with in a romantic sense, most relationships are just casual and that's what they should be. But if you do find the right person for you.. if you two have genuine chemistry then it's hard to screw it up, your foibles will somehow work for them.
Besides censoring yourself may be one of the few ways to screw up the interaction with the women you're compatible with.
The biggest thing to do is just get involved.
If you're someone with high intelligence you have the added difficulty of finding people you can connect with mentally... that makes it much harder.
Last edited by DogOfDanger; 03-22-2022 at 11:42 AM.
We're talking about different things. It all exists on a spectrum. What I'm saying is don't be desperate for a relationship. If that is authentically the way a person is, it needs to change authentically. It's unhealthy, and often leads to poor judgment calls about potential partners anyhow.
Your profile pic is terrible, btw. I wonder what that represents to you.
Ya, that strawberry farm sounds ideal and fancy for the overalls and trousers pitchfork of quicksilver sherbet cones of the Mickey Mouse tropical rainforest cafe for bringing the life of Brazil to the sequels of picnics with Pikachu brought to the elder race of intuitive Poke-manz that @Poptart was so afraid of!!It's because all of the things you listed are extremely extraverted activities. I've met my LIE friend at an astronomy club, we hated most people there because they are mostly nerdy, abstract, impractical, noisy and kind of cliquish that we ended up hanging out together. Now it's appealing to my type enough to go there even though I still had to force myself (introversion as the obstacle) because if I didn't I'll miss up on the potential stuff I'll learn (useless in the end but whatever, this is the motivation). Imagine your dual's position, with sensory and ethical leaning on top of introversion. lol. Astronomy is such a logical nerd hobby. Astronomy club environment varies of course but I'm talking about it in general.
Males might be more apparent in the things you mentioned because extroversion and business skills are heavily favored in males. If the female leans traditional > modern when it comes to values, they would rather get the most decent man (albeit not even a great man) they can get and settle down. As for moderate types, they would still be affected by these gender roles specially when older so your chance is still small. Maybe if you join a small book club for older people you'll get more chances. Or go to a local art scene. Heck maybe nursing homes and hospitals have more ESIs. Or maybe even accounting firms lol. (A family friend is an ESI and she works under my mom. I don't know if it's just her but she loves being the first-mate, supporter type. She gave me a gift - make ups and she got the shades that I love without me even saying much. We also share a hobby of jewelry collecting - introverted hobby. She goes out only with long-standing friends). But you probably know this already. I'll be going on a farm this month to pick strawberries and go on horseback riding, I'll let you know if ESIs are also easy to spot there. Lmao I already have a hunch.
Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul lasts forever. Lucky Numbers - 53, 10, 29, 14, 1, 21
Mr. Mime = Mastermind
The time is alway right to do what is right.
Become who you are.
Marius Florin aka LeoSuperCluster as Raging Bolt the Raikou number 1021 and SolitaryWalker brought glory to the years of Silver and forged Pichu, wisdom of force and flair to exhibit dinosaur questing pointers electrocuting cinema and blueprints of emporiums to undertow flows jungle tossing galaxy spanning shivers of essence gems and portals of roads to destruction and arboretums folding castles and swordsmanship of dreams and counters to pleasant vibrations and holy water sprouting evanescent stars and puzzles of grades to saffron climax
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...k-2024-edition
Modifying ones personality based on whether women may or may not find it desperate is an act of utmost desperation. The first step in authentically changing would be to stop filtering oneself - i.e. allow that desperation to be seen. The observed behavior looks worse, but the inner world has improved...
So if you are desperate then be desperate, it is ok.
The dog is not well... he needs your care and support.
Last edited by DogOfDanger; 03-24-2022 at 03:24 AM.
You're thinking too narrowly. Failing to see alternatives, which seems funny coming from an Ne PoLR, but nevertheless. It's not about whether women find it desperate. That is not the measurement of the standard. Find the answer to how healthy/unhealthy is determined, and you will suddenly understand. People have a right to be put off by unhealthy red flags. Sometimes, when people are put off by things, there is a valid reason, and changing - improving - is not forsaking yourself. It's just forsaking unhealthy ways.
I'd say we have a very serious disagreement here.
The first step to changing any non-trivial unhealthy habit is to openly acknowledge its existence. Change takes a while, and involves a bunch of steps, you can't just jump to the end - it doesn't occur like that. For example, in the 12 steps the first step is what? Admit you are an addict. Before one admits the problem ... openly forsaking it is just an act of denial. You are certainly denying yourself - because you do have a problem. Denial here works to maintain the ego and the illusion of normalcy, this prevents change.
And you have clearly been speaking to womens perceptions throughout.
If a man were to act not eager for a woman - act in spite of being eager (some would say desperate) - he would be denying himself. You cannot just change from eager to not-eager - you can't just jump to the end. Certainly she has a right to be put off, but this again is not what we're concerned with.
As a tangent, I really think the whole idea this eagerness (or desperation) is something to snuff out is backwards, but that's another conversation - a mans desire to get with women is a natural, biological desire.
Last edited by DogOfDanger; 03-25-2022 at 11:32 AM.
I met my husband on Tinder after I unsuccessfully dated for almost 10 years (I have stories...). I resisted this advice for a long long time, but now I am a believer: if it's difficult early on, it's not worth it. It won't go anywhere. I wasted so much time on trying to rationalize someone's odd behavior.
Also, never ever use Plenty of Fish. All the major creeps I met, I met there. The Tinder and OkCupid creeps were a lot less creepy in their creepiness.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
@Kim, I agree with you about Plenty of Fish being close to the bottom of the barrel. The only one which was worse was the local dating classified section of a “sell your stuff online” website, but that got closed down after being accused of enabling the solicitation of prostitution. Lol. Those people were truly disgusting.
However, I disagree with you when you advise giving up if it’s difficult early on. Maybe we differ in the definition of “difficult” and “early on”, but I have uniformly found that ESIs were just a bit jarring on first dates, and I had to power through, suspend judgement, and tell myself “Keep going. Don’t give up. This is normal gear-grinding on startup and things will get better.” And they do, after a few hours, after a few dates.
This also happened with my SLI ex-wife. She did some things early on which made me think she might be hiding some form of insanity. But it was just normal differences and we went on and had a fairly happy marriage for many years.
The dates which did not work out so well were the ones where everything was initially fantastic until it suddenly wasn’t. Mirage, Extinguishment, Super-Ego, Conflictor, Mirror, Supervision, etc. Everything but Duality. Duality seems to be initially difficult for me, but then just gets steadily better, as long as the Dual doesn’t find our differences to be too much to take and bails out after the first few dates.
This is consoling to read, because it means that I still have 5 years left: https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1309...f-in-ten-years
I'm not dating this woman, but I thought I'd post this here for the benefit of other LIEs.
I've been going to this Alpha restaurant for over a year (because the food is great, fresh, and local), and most of the people working there are Alphas. Even the decor is Alpha, and so are most of its clientele, if VI means anything. I've dragged a Delta to the place (SLI, and he said the food was great), and an ESI (she seemed to like it, too), but mostly only Alphas can be found there.
So a few weeks ago I was there to buy lunch and a woman working there who gave me LSE vibes came out of nowhere and addressed me by name. I thought, Fuck. She got my name from my credit card and now I have an LSE female interested in me, which is the last thing I need. She sees Te and is un-evolved and wants something familiar, I assumed, so rather than be rude to her to get her to stop, I just minimized my interactions with her.
Still, Every. Single. Time. I went in there, she was like, "Hi, Adam!" with a smile and a saucy glance. I'm like, "Oh, Hi. What was your name again?" Jesus.
So today I walked in and things were slow and I passed this woman sitting at a table and she said "Hi, Adam!" and I thought WTF? and looked at her and it was she. Except she wasn't wearing LSE clothes, she was wearing a brightly colored shirt with big yellow-and-gray earrings and she had a black nose ring in her nose.
Let me just say something here. I know a lot of LSEs, and not one of them would be caught dead wearing any of that, so she wasn't LSE after all.
As I looked at her again, I could see that she had lots of Se, just like my LSE sister, and she was actually pretty in a kind of manly "I know what I know" way, but I couldn't type her. She for sure wasn't LSE, but what was she?
So I let her order for me (which is what I often do, because the staff knows what's good) and as she was moving around and we were talking about food and stuff, it began to dawn on me that she might be an ESI.
I wrote down a link to Sociotype.com/tests and asked her to take the test there. The gay male SEE who was working with her was watching all of this and seemed really interested in the test, especially when I told him that he was probably the "Caesar-Conqueror" SEE, but the girl gave me a sour look, as if she didn't believe for a minute that people could be placed into boxes, and if they can, then she really didn't like the idea.
Which is pure ESI. Pure ESI. Socionics is very Ti, and ESIs don't like Ti very much. No ESI I've ever met IRL likes Socionics.
I'll have to ask her what her results were when I see her next. She said she knew about MBTI and she's an INTJ. Which is ridiculous. She said she got INTJ, ISFJ, INFJ, sometimes T and sometimes F, but always IxxJ.
I do think she's ESI, though. I'm kind of surprised that she persisted in trying to get my attention for months in the face of my indifference, but that's typical Aggressor behavior. Maybe she's naturally more in-tune with who she is than I am, and was being effective at Dual-seeking, while I remain totally fucking clueless.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 03-26-2022 at 11:21 PM.
Frankly, I’m scared of people with tattoos and body jewelry in non Bunny ears places.
I personally don’t expose people to typology. I find it embarrassing and most people seem like this lady, feeling too negated from true free expression by the personality super-net.
I love thinking about types though as wrinkles of the lovely lullaby make my answer to the wild forms let my unique view and possibility nexus put to work the endless ideas and styles moving through me, so I like to think that my type taps true personal ladders to empire sized internal mindsets.
Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul lasts forever. Lucky Numbers - 53, 10, 29, 14, 1, 21
Mr. Mime = Mastermind
The time is alway right to do what is right.
Become who you are.
Marius Florin aka LeoSuperCluster as Raging Bolt the Raikou number 1021 and SolitaryWalker brought glory to the years of Silver and forged Pichu, wisdom of force and flair to exhibit dinosaur questing pointers electrocuting cinema and blueprints of emporiums to undertow flows jungle tossing galaxy spanning shivers of essence gems and portals of roads to destruction and arboretums folding castles and swordsmanship of dreams and counters to pleasant vibrations and holy water sprouting evanescent stars and puzzles of grades to saffron climax
https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...k-2024-edition
Yeah, I agree with you. I just like to do stupid things every once in a while.
Yea my ESI ex hated anything that even seemed like a personality test. Felt like it's unnatural to be defined.
So there's this obvious LSE at my gym, she talks a whole lot, she's a personal trainer there so she talks alot about good form, diet, and her own allergies a ton and in great detail. Pretty assertive in enforcing gyms rules too. Reminds me of other LSEs I know. She's fairly attractive and is in real good shape.
So how do I approach this chick? I don't wanna spend any money on a personal trainer, and that would make me a client instead of a romantic interest so that's a no-go, and the last time I approached a female LSE I had no intentions, I just made an observation about something she did which I thought was funny and the observation came off in a playful and teasing way which just seemed to work really well for her, but it was all natural, nothing forced.
I see no real opportunities for that with this girl, and I don't want to force anything so I'm not sure how to manufacture an opportunity or just be straight up with her, but straight up doesn't work for a 1D Te/ Se like me so that wouldn't be me playing to my strengths, I also don't want to ask for advice because she seems kinda long-winded and that would put me in a teacher/student spot which is not fun for me, do I even want this chick lol? Plus if things go south it would be real awkward seeing her at the gym again, since she works there.
Last edited by Lord Pixel; 03-27-2022 at 11:42 PM.
@Lord Pixel, it sounds to me like you're planning on which college your kids will be going to. Maybe scale back your expectations? Try to forget that she's a Dual and just talk to her normally.
I know a lot of LSEs and I can't say that any of them are married to a Dual. Most of them don't seem to like their Duals or, more often, vice-versa.
About the only time I saw a female LSE actually having a great time with a male EII was when I visited my LSE mother in the nursing home. She was deep into Alzheimers and I'd never, ever seen her engaged in a conversation with a man who wasn't my SLI dad, but there she was, looking pissed off (she always looked pissed off) but sitting and talking with this EII guy who was also an Alzheimer's patient. Neither one of them could put together two coherent sentences, but they were immensely enjoying each other's company.
So, your best weapon is your voice. Just talk to her about anything. Eventually, she'll either start liking you or she won't.
I was barely familiar with this EII guy at work, but when we all met at a bar/restaurant after hours one Friday, this guy chose to sit next to me. I thought, "Damn. This is going to be sooo boring."
But it wasn't. He just sat there and talked about random stuff and I found myself really enjoying the conversation. I thought he was playful and funny. And I'm only a Semi-Dual.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if you guys get along, you might have to be the one to suggest lunch nearby. I think that LSE females are probably either inert or, if they think you are the One, are going to give you an ultimatum. "Marry me now or never ask me again." But this is just a wild-ass guess, based on very little experience.
Oh, one other thing that might help you.
I have an LSE sister who is married to an IEI (Yes! It's a horrible marriage that she is determined to make work.) We know a couple that is female SLI and male EII, and the male EII was spending a lot of time around my sister, asking her if he could be of help, etc.
I told my LSE sister that the EII was her Dual and he was acting like he liked her. She said to me that it didn't matter in the slightest if he liked her or not. She thought he was a jerk because he treated his SLI wife like shit.
That's what she said. I thought he was sometimes mean to her to escape her telling him what to do, or maybe I have that wrong, but it seemed to me that they had a relationship where they did not mesh perfectly. He wasn't totally mean to her, but he wasn't all that great to her, either. So, don't treat people like shit around the LSE. It will not improve her opinion of you.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 03-28-2022 at 12:09 AM.
Lol, I promise I'm not, I'm not even sure if I'd want anything with this girl, I just don't even know how to get into a conversation with her since I have no reason to talk to her. She's using that machine over there, I'm using this one over here, what am I gonna do randomly approach her and say "Hey we are duals, I just wanna see if my voice works on you, ...are you hypnotized yet?" only if it was so easy lol.
But yea, forgetting she's a dual might help, that worked for the last LSE girl I talked to mostly because I didn't know her type. Her type was only revealed to me because the situation was consistently an anomaly in my personal experience. She was an 8.5/10 and I was calm af talking to her, which has never happened in all my years, she also got on with my sense of humor immediately and she broke past all my stranger barriers that I wasn't even aware of having until I realized she was past them.
I see alot of EII hate for LSE for sure. I know only 2 couples who are LSE female and EII male, and their biggest issues seem to be lack of communication on the EII's part. The EII has a problem that he's overthinking in his head and the LSE wants to know all the problems so they can come up with a solution but the EII is mulling over it, so the LSE gets frustrated and essentially tells the EII to speak up, but not all things the EII is thinking or feeling are easily put into words. Which I can see would be a problem. Another couple I saw on a forum got divorced because her musician EII husband never got a real job, which I think is probably more typical if an LSE especially female got with an EII male, and the LSE probably finds an LSI after a marriage like that.I know a lot of LSEs and I can't say that any of them are married to a Dual. Most of them don't seem to like their Duals or, more often, vice-versa.
I guess it's never too late to meet a dual lol, even in a nursing home. I hope it doesn't take me that long.About the only time I saw a female LSE actually having a great time with a male EII was when I visited my LSE mother in the nursing home. She was deep into Alzheimers and I'd never, ever seen her engaged in a conversation with a man who wasn't my SLI dad, but there she was, looking pissed off (she always looked pissed off) but sitting and talking with this EII guy who was also an Alzheimer's patient. Neither one of them could put together two coherent sentences, but they were immensely enjoying each other's company.
So, your best weapon is your voice. Just talk to her about anything. Eventually, she'll either start liking you or she won't.
Hm, I do know the Te voice on a woman is attractive to me sometimes, so maybe it goes both ways, I hadn't considered that. It is hard to view yourself objectively in that way, usually when we hear our own voices on recording we are shocked at the way we sound because we sound so different in our own head.
Oh yea I remember you mentioned this guy before. Yea I have a couple LIE friends and with one of them we have a really good time, I get the sense that he doesn't feel I am a competitive threat to him or something, because otherwise he's a pretty intense guy. It's like when he's around me it's like he tells himself "Ok, weapons down."I was barely familiar with this EII guy at work, but when we all met at a bar/restaurant after hours one Friday, this guy chose to sit next to me. I thought, "Damn. This is going to be sooo boring."
But it wasn't. He just sat there and talked about random stuff and I found myself really enjoying the conversation. I thought he was playful and funny. And I'm only a Semi-Dual.
Damn, 2 inert mfers. It is rough trying to get someone else to do something with 1D Se, even when I am successful it is always a shock like "Wait, you're actually gonna to do what I said?". This doesn't necessarily feel like I'm leading with Fi or something, even though it's in the area of relations, leading with Fi would be more like, ok I see your having a bad time so I'll put my arm around you and just sit next to you in silence while you just feel it out, or taking someone somewhere I think they like according to things they said, ok maybe I just solved the problem.I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if you guys get along, you might have to be the one to suggest lunch nearby. I think that LSE females are probably either inert or, if they think you are the One, are going to give you an ultimatum. "Marry me now or never ask me again." But this is just a wild-ass guess, based on very little experience.
The ultimatum thing is scary and kinda weird ngl. But I can see how it's an overboard use of 1D LSE functions, Fi and Ni. It seems like if LSE some how makes it to the point of wanting to be with somebody they go all the way in. My LSE friend right now met a girl recently and he's already got her meeting the mom and everything, and is anticipating getting married.
It's a shame because I have really really good relations with SLI, the best after ESI, but there are issues because of how good the relations are it's easy to develop unspoken expectations and then the problems arise. Best friends when things are going great, but useless to each other when things aren't, and that can be a major letdown all because your expectations got higher and higher over time with how good everything was going.Oh, one other thing that might help you.
I have an LSE sister who is married to an IEI (Yes! It's a horrible marriage that she is determined to make work.) We know a couple that is female SLI and male EII, and the male EII was spending a lot of time around my sister, asking her if he could be of help, etc.
I told my LSE sister that the EII was her Dual and he was acting like he liked her. She said to me that it didn't matter in the slightest if he liked her or not. She thought he was a jerk because he treated his SLI wife like shit.
That's what she said. I thought he was sometimes mean to her to escape her telling him what to do, or maybe I have that wrong, but it seemed to me that they had a relationship where they did not mesh perfectly. He wasn't totally mean to her, but he wasn't all that great to her, either.
I imagine this is true for most people though.So, don't treat people like shit around the LSE. It will not improve her opinion of you.
Don't knock it 'till you've tried it, Adam.
Not only LSEs wouldn't want to even be caught dead anything like that, me neither. Whenever I see some psychology students wearing that, my gaze tends to fixate on it and I just imagine the snot that it must conceal. Gross. It looks to me like they robbed a bull of his nose ring. Those nose ringed students tend to fall into one of two groups. There are the weird, but nice ones. They can wear all gothic clothing, while their personality is as warm and optimistic as sunshine. They tend to identify as gothics, because they suffer from depression. And there are the weird and Karen ones. They wear short, brightly dyed red, blue, or even green hair, more often than not wear glasses, frequently have multiple piercings besides the nose ring, and one or more tattoos with the suicidal lyrics of a song of their favourite emo band inscribed on their arm or they have a tattoo of Harry Potter or Life Must Be Strange character, because they use fiction as escapism. Besides the depression these ones generally also suffer from borderline personality disorder, which is not mere conjecture on my behalf as a psychology student, but because they discussed this in different workgroups.
Ah, is that your method? Mine is to discuss that they do X like I do, which we have in common, but others do Y. And I then mention if they are familiar with the psychological theory that discusses this? They all don't, but it piques their curiosity. Then I tell them it's called Socionics and send them this PDF: http://francois-garet.e-monsite.com/...onics-type.pdf
I inform them that I'm a LIE, and I believe them to be for instance an ISFj. But I won't tell them the Socionics translation of it just yet, because I don't want to bias them before they had the opportunity to read it themselves.
LOL, this is just like my ESI-Se cycling friend. He doesn't believe in Socionics and thinks it all way too out there. Only when getting his questionnaire result did he realize it's just like the MBTI test he did previously. According to his Socionics and MBTI test results he would be an ILI, but I have several ILI friends and he is not like them. At the national historical museum he didn't even know what hieroglyphs are. He asked me if that's the Egyptian alphabet. His naivity is cute. He also mentioned at the pharaohs and tombs section how he believes that in our culture the appreciation of art has been lost compared to the Egyptians. An ILI would instead have mentioned some fact on the labyrinths through which the pharaohs wished to ensure their eternal rest, even going so far as killing the architects and builders to keep it a secret. My ESI-Se cycling friend also hits the Gym regularly and helps me with my emotional struggles, while I provide him study tips. By all means, he is an ESI and I'm as sure of it as that I'm a LIE.
If you're nearby and she is not actively working (important, don't disturb a Te lead in work mode) ask her if she saw that cute baby bird flying passed the window? Before you go to the Gym look up a cute baby bird that could be found in the area, so you don't have to look for words to describe nor that you would describe some exotic bird from Madagascar. It's a little white lie to open up the conversation, catch her off guard, and endear her to you, because it makes you look innocent instead of a rebellious rulebreaking Beta. After you've started the conversation it's all up to you two how it progresses, because you'll need two to tango. At least this might break the ice for you.
There are many Gyms, but few dateworthy people who are also duals. Take your chances now that you've encountered an opportunity!
Unless you pressure someone into doing your bidding, would this not be Te when you attempt to convince someone to do something or Fe when you try to persuade them?
Last edited by Armitage; 03-28-2022 at 08:59 PM.
@Armitage, she's actually very pretty in a warm, accepting way and I'm intrigued by her, but she's not thin. She's not fat, either, but rather she's solidly built, and that is a bridge too far for me.Don't knock it 'till you've tried it, Adam.
So, no danger that I'm ever going to get involved with her.
I liked the colorful shirt and her earrings, but I specifically said nothing about her nose ring. I kind of hate this kind of thing on women, too. Just a personal preference of mine. Women should look like models, not cattle.
But she wasn't wearing the nose ring because she's goth. She really isn't close to being goth, but rather I think she had it done because it's a way for her to decorate herself. Probably she has friends who do this, IDK, and she sees it as being normal. It's just her bad luck to run into a dinosaur like myself who thinks that's low-class.
Yes, that has been my method, and it's terrible. I'm seeing that it alienates the ESIs right away, and if they haven't been given a very good reason for liking me before I tell them about Socionics, I don't get a second chance.
Your method is better.
Yes, it would seem that any artificial attempt to initiate relations with a Dual is going to be doomed by one or the other for being too fucking weird and a sign that you aren't dealing with a person who acts the way that your Dual does naturally (cluelessly).
Yeah, it's interesting. Tinder led to some major changes in my life after meeting an IEE there 7 years ago. She lived across the sea in the neighboring country (only 80km as the crow flies, but inconvenient ferry schedules). After just a couple of months of dating weekends (driving 10 hours one way, it did give some more hours there than taking the ferry), I left my job and life in the old country behind and moved together with her. One year later our daughter was born. That's when the problems started, neither of us wanted to compromise our freedom and free time and a lot of arguments started, turning into coldness from my side and bluntness from her side. After 3 years, I had enough after a cold patch and wanted to end the relationship (at some level I think I just wanted her to show me that she really wanted to be with me, and not just in words). She moved back to her old hometown 5 hours drive away, but I pretty much immediately found myself driving every single weekend and vacations to her and our child. After 4 years and countless of kilometers driven, I've now found a new job up here and moved into a rented apartment in the same village she lives in.
It's been one hell of an adventure and I don't know how it will end. But it seems like it became something I just wasn't able to let go of, unlike other relationships in my life. So I don't know, it was super great and easy immediately but then some major difficulties appeared. However compared to the other relationships she has had, this is the most enduring one, and the same goes for me if you factor in all the obstacles. But maybe it's the super-ego ITR.
Plus, having a kid with someone changes everything. A guy starts to think long-term.
nice advice, ta. Were some of the difficult people duals..? Guessing some..
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 04-02-2022 at 12:33 PM.
yeah I have to remind myself to swipe right/ like both hotties as well as people who look nice-ish. If one is really serious about meeting someone, and doesn't want to wait too long, it's important to look out for hidden gems. The hot ones are distracting and the interesting ones can be a complete waste of time.
I just started using Tinder after an SLE suggested I do on a sort of date. And now I’m taking to what feels like an SLE who grew up in my area. Yay Tinder
I am actually very tolerant of unusual behavior and quirks. What I meant was odd dating behavior, most specifically push pull after those first few dates. It happened SO MANY times that people were initially super excited, then retreated, then came back, etc. Or super excited people vanished into thin air and would reappear later with bullshit excuses. If you can't feel sure early on (and I mean when you both know you are dating) that it's going somewhere because the person is inconsistent emotionally, it's not worth pursuing.
I don't share your intertype experiences - in my experience so much also has to do with life circumstances, personal histories, expectations, fears, etc. But I might send you a few pics of my husband for VI.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
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