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Thread: Being called annoying

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    The Evening and the Morning Star Eudaimonia's Avatar
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    Unhappy Being called annoying

    Someone close to me said I can sometimes be annoying. But they said it in a way where it sounded more like a chronic problem, not just an occasional moment or two.

    They told me I'm not as precise with my words as they are and when I say something it's more to just be dramatic. They said it gets annoying.

    I know I do this but it made me depressed that I was annoying this person this whole time with just my normal personality...

    I feel like my whole life has been me trying to get attention or affection from other people and getting hurt when they say things like this. It hit me deep.

    I felt every time I got rejected as a kid after that.

    Do any Fe users have this sort of exposed feeling? That you want affection but you never seem to get it from anyone.
    "I'ma rock the boat
    Work the middle 'til it hurt a little" - Kanye West
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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    I've known EIEs to react as you describe and most Ni-types seem somewhat sensitive to personal criticism; many want to prove those others wrong but often overdo it when seeking vindication. It's as if they consider any lost of control over their agendas as personal attacks on their images and is therefore intolerable. The simple solution is to ignore the words because they're just words, but instead, they seem to dwell on them and this soft underbelly puts their agendas and images at risk even more; I've known some to opt for the blaze-of-glory route so they'll be remembered and some others turn to substance abuse - all because of words.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    do you remember what exactly triggered their comment? Maybe next time try getting more precise with them in real time if hurt feelings on either side won't take over

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    The Evening and the Morning Star Eudaimonia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    do you remember what exactly triggered their comment? Maybe next time try getting more precise with them in real time if hurt feelings on either side won't take over

    I can't remember what actually cause us to start to talk about this, I think we were talking about personality differences. I knew they weren't trying to offend me or anything, I think I took it too personally.

    But then I started to wonder why I took it so hard. I realized it was a recurring thing in my relationships ever since I was a kid. Not to dive too deep but I think it started with my parents.

    I think you're right being a little more precise and less dramatic would help in communication with this person.
    "I'ma rock the boat
    Work the middle 'til it hurt a little" - Kanye West
    ENFJ | EIE-Fe | WELP | 3w4 sx/so


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    MissDucki's Avatar
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    Screw them. So what if they find you annoying, what if THEY are the annoying ones!

    We’re all annoying to somebody in some point in time. Be it our natural selves or just feeling the happy buzz of a Fe sphere. Don’t let it dim your shine! Some people just aren’t made to respond to that kind of stuff. There are people that I know probably find me annoying so I limit my time with them and search out people that appreciate it. Your fe loving self is cared about somewhere. Not everyone is made to love it sadly but that means there will be special people that appreciate it.

    When someone doesn’t like you or finds you annoying. There’s someone out there that thinks the same of the person calling you annoying of them.

    Shine bro shine!

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    fatgurl's Avatar
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    I've been called annoying before because I made a joke. I completely understand how you feel because it really hurts when someone says that, especially someone close to you.
    I feel like it helps knowing that there are others in the world who won't find you annoying, or will still love you and not care even if you are sometimes.
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




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    Seed my wickedness PseudoRandomBSGenerator's Avatar
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    Yes, for lack of footing , mostly. Also, in terms of not accepting convoluted things when it might contradict glaringly obvious things that just needs to be mulled over first.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
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    In my experience, people don't always have great communication skills.

    Saying, "You're annoying" is different from saying, "that is annoying". Using "always" or "never" in an argument is bad word usage. In other words, this person may have claimed to be annoyed on a few occasions, but that can't speak to who you are on other occasions.

    Hyperbole or superlatives don't always take nuance into consideration. Unless that person were around you 24/7 labeling you "annoying" is stupid & irresponsible.

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