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Thread: Beneficiary wanting take care of the Benefactor

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    The Chosen Prophet. Braingel's Avatar
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    Default Beneficiary wanting take care of the Benefactor

    I know that the benefactor sends out subtle messages to the beneficiary and is more blinded.. I don’t know if we just put it out there... And then they gain from our creative function..

    But it always seems to me, that my beneficiary (LII) wants look out as for me. And they want care for my Fe, my emotional state, and guard of it. They want structure and soothe the emotional parcels I carry, bag them, so they don’t fall. And carry them, then organize..
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    The Morning Star EUDAEMONIUM's Avatar
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    This is an interesting idea, I have rarely been attracted to an ILE that I know of. But SEEs are another story.
    The Barnum or Forer effect is the tendency for people to judge that general, universally valid statements about personality are actually specific descriptions of their own personalities. A "universally valid" statement is one that is true of everyone—or, more likely, nearly everyone. It is not known why people tend to make such misjudgments, but the effect has been experimentally reproduced.

    The psychologist Paul Meehl named this fallacy "the P.T. Barnum effect" because Barnum built his circus and dime museum on the principle of having something for everyone. It is also called "the Forer effect" after its discoverer, the psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who modestly dubbed it "the fallacy of personal validation".

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    if it isn't Mr. Nice Guy Ave's Avatar
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    Reverse benefit is a thing as per Gulenko.

    One thing I have trouble understanding is how these relations are actually asymmetrical, how does one partner being in a "favorable position" actually play out in practice? I know what the descriptions say but I have trouble seeing the theory play out in real relations. I guess the benefactor always sees the beneficiary as something of an inferior and looks down upon them, and the reverse attitude is true in terms of how the beneficiary views the benefactor, which can in turn influence how one behaves with respect to the other. It just won't appear that way to outsiders, ie people observing the interaction. To outsiders, the relationship will appear symmetrical.

    At my former workplace an LSI and ILI collegue had a bit of tension, when I first got there they got along, and the ILI helped the LSI get a managing position while he was there, but then ended up regretting this deeply because the LSI showed irresponsibility as per the ILI (often leaving to go on vacation and having responsibility fall back on the ILI, or others, for example) and the ILI considered the LSI an idiot and incompetent at his work once he got the managing position. But the ILI didn't confront the LSI, and the ILI renounced a managing position himself because he saw the LSI wasn't budging on the prices he set for the store, which the ILI considered too high and thus detrimental to business. I kind of agree this LSI reached his limits when he got this position, kind of like the Peter principle at work lol. The LSI was upset with how the ILI would change prices behind his back to sell more stuff and the ILI was upset with the LSI's high prices (which I agree were pretty unpragmatic) but neither confronted each other, even after coming to me and me telling them they should probably talk this out. To this day the ILI doesn't want to have this LSI in his life. The LSI would sometimes sincerely get upset with the ILI when the latter wasn't around, which makes me think the rancor was/is mutual.

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    Seed my wickedness The Reality Denialist's Avatar
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    Both sides consists of volatile Ejs. They carry a stamp "it is OK to try to work together and we have commonalities in thinking but I have no idea why they are what they are". As per this Ej issue at hand I could probably give grounding to EIE's although it does sound bit too overwhelming and I tend have my own ideals which seems to counter many things that they would offer. LSE's usually have their methods already so.. I think I' be bit useless.
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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    Benefit are one-way relations where information produced by the benefactor can be useful the other's thought processes; for IEI-LIIs, it usually revolves around personal image. This doesn't mean that the information will be used or that anyone feels beholding. LIIs may occasionally produce useful information but overall it tends to be pee in the other's corn flakes; LIIs offer too much clarity on potential consequences of IEI rosy plans or outlooks so their advice is more often dismissed. Wanting to take care of someone is not type related; many individuals can take a liking or are more polite to others for unexplainable reasons - maybe the person reminds them of a child, sibling or parent, for example.

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    May look like an LxI, but -Te Metaphor's Avatar
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    Perhaps, is it like each benefit reminds them of each other although in a different perception?
    I saw it as a case in between LII and IEI since both have several similarities.
    Moreover, I could see this works in the Semi-Dual, Mirage or Dual ITR as if it's due to wanting to take care of others.
    LII seeks their IEI's Fe for their enjoyment hence IEI seeks LII's Ti for their support.
    However, as far as I concern, you probably are right about IEI is prone at neglecting LII's advice.

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    @CTzu It's their different perceptions, priorities and directions that make them so different that they usually find no common ground even though they may initially have the hots for one another. LIIs don't often seek enjoyment through others and IEIs usually don't want support from people who seem to easily rain on their parades - and LIIs often seem lower on their image scales although they may be helpful on a specific task.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    May look like an LxI, but -Te Metaphor's Avatar
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    Yup, that totally sounds correct.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    SEI: "I feel like my ex husband is going to take away my kids" starts crying
    EII: "Let's look at the law in this state. According to the law you are in a state that issues almost equal custody to both parent. You are going to be ok in the future love."
    SEI: goes to a lawyer and gets the same information...

    EII provides hope love inspiration in a rather emotional situation

    Oh wait I'm the Benefactor lol
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    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

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