From another SLE:

ESI (ISFP)/LIE (ENTJ):LIE: Money. Facts. Capitalism. Financial security. Office meetings. Efficiency. More boring corporate shit. Help, I can’t relate to people, because no one gives a shit about any of the neat things I listed above.
ESI: I may be a stone cold bitch on the outside, but I really care about you deep down in the bottom of my icy heart. As long as you continue to get $500k a year, that’s all I care about. I will love you unconditionally and never let go.
LIE: Thanks, I was getting worried there for a second that I’d be alone for the rest of my life. Now I know that someone cares about me, even if they really only care about my paycheck. Nice!

SEE (ESFP)/ILI (INTJ):
ILI: Ugh. The world sucks. I hate everyone because they suck. Everyone hates me back. Life sucks. You suck.
SEE: Hey there, life’s not so bad when you’re getting laid 8 times a day! Here, how about I help you with that whole virginity thing that you’ve been angry about for the past 24 years? I’ll sleep with anyone, so it’s all good!
ILI: Thank you. I have always wanted to see a set of genitals besides my own, but to no avail. I’ll predict what STD everyone has so that you don’t get it and pass it to me.