So right now I'm definitely stating why I am going to leave duality for anything other than marriage (or living together)
The worst thing about finding something or someone you really enjoy is that the absence of it in your life makes all the rest seem pointless. Everything you seemed to enjoy becomes second nature and you crave for the other's presence all the time.
It's like I can spend the entire afternoon with her and I never get enough of it, and when I leave it seems that it wasn't enough, and all my energy gets directed at ways to have fun with this person. And I simply forget that I need to work, study, have fun on my own.
I've decided I'm never going to talk to her again because it is just to good to be fit for my life on earth, my body simply was not prepared for such intensity, and I simply can't stand the experience of missing her presence anymore. I prefer to detoxic myself from such a other worldly happiness.
There are too many barriers that could make me live with her that I don't want to discuss, but I won't accept anymore being dependent on someone else to feel whole and alive.
I know this is all drama but I just feel that too good can be BAD and distracting