also any idea about my enneagram type?
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
Nothing currently. I start studying accounting this fall. Like most accountants I'm not that interested in the job but I'm just good at it.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
Due to my depressive disorder I haven't developed a lot of hobbies or interests over my life time and I spend a lot of time in my room wasting time. Doing this questionnaire is one example of how I waste my time. I also like watching sports (hockey, soccer, football) but I'm a pretty passive fan and not that invested in the league and knowing all the players and things like that.
What are your values, and why?
Time, truth, beauty, things that feel nice..
Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
If I try to get into the specifics we'd be here all day so I'll just give you the overall:
I get along with my family very well on non-serious matters. We have a similar tastes in art and humor and politics. I respect my parents a lot. We're still very different people and I have to bite my tongue to avoid conflict with them, and they do the same for me too.
As for friends....that's harder to answer because all my friends through my life have been very temporary and impersonal friendships. I've rarely had friends I really liked being around.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
I honestly don't look for relationships, I've made all my friends by chance. Generally I've enjoyed being around types with either Ni or Se base, especially ethical types. I don't care too much about interests, in fact I prefer if we don't talk about interests and instead talk about current events, people, the future, the world, and other things that affect everyone regardless. I like having shared experiences with someone, I don't mind dwelling on the past because of it.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I get into small conflicts with people almost on a daily basis, mostly because I get frustrated easily. surprisingly I don't get into a lot of fights online, or with strangers in general. I have to have a level of closeness and familiarity with someone to get annoyed and frustrated with them. I usually feel guilty afterwards and apologize, even if I was in the right.
What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?
I'm not too bothered by being wrong about a topic, I keep an open mind to what the truth is. I'm not the type of person that bites more than they can chew, I'm modest with what I take for myself. I'm flexible with my morals and don't immediately villainify someone that doesn't follow my moral code (unlike a certain quadra)
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I'm really poorly disciplined and give up easily. I have a victim complex. I'm a pathological liar and generally try to be a sneak and hide unnecessary things.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
Someone that is of my kind, be a voice of reason, instill some discipline/self control in me. That would help. Also, I really despise paperwork, dealing with officials, going to the doctor, things like that. I understand everyone hates it but I hate it, I postpone it as much as I possibly can. Not sure if anyone can help me avoid these things but perhaps help me not procrastinate.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
Currently my only short term goal is to read a lot of books I'd been meaning to for a long time. I have a hypothetical goal of an ideal life but I only think about it rather than try to achieve it. I think I'd lose interest in it if I tried to achieve it
If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?
More of whatever it is I usually do.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
A lot of my own negative traits I don't mind in other people, in fact it makes me happy because I feel less alone.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?
I don't really decorate my room much, I just clean it (rarely)
How do you behave around strangers?
More private but otherwise as I normally do. Well, depends on what type of person they seem, but mostly about the same.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I insult them back. I don't lose my temper, I think I don't look intimidating no matter what I do so I don't want to embarrass myself by showing that I'm mad
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
Not really. Actually I have no interest in it.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
I like to dress simply, plain and not too many bright colors. Jeans and t shirts and things like that. I only ever put effort into makeup which I try to keep natural, only maybe more dramatic with the eyes.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
Sure, they're cute
In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
I don't think I've ever felt that way.
How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
I don't know. I have a very confusing relationship with attention. It makes me really uncomfortable but I will die without it.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
It really depends on who I'm responsible to. I was very obedient towards my parents as a child (and now) even if they asked me to do things I didn't believe are necessary. But at school, when told to do something I'd be very passive aggressive and try to get out of it anyway I could.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?
I don't want to raise a child.
Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?
Did I have something to do with it? Is there an obvious way I can help? In general, I'm not either a bad or a good therapist, I have some advice I can give or just a shoulder to cry on but that's about it.
What was (or is) your high school experience like?
I kept to myself and tried a bit with my studies. My grades were decent. I was the designated loner so people didn't usually bother me either. I'd go on long walks and skip classes on most days, only showing up for tests and important lessons. Once I finished 10th grade I started doing online school because my school counsellor requested it.
I only made a few temporary friends in high school, most of them annoyed me a lot so we drifted apart.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes, if something isn't immediate I probably will dwell too much on it and never do it. Sometimes the feeling of being a bum gets me to do something about it, but very rarely.
What is something you regret?
Most of my decisions, almost any choice I've made in my life was the wrong one. I highly prefer letting life take me in a direction, any time I've tried to resist or intervene I've got a worse result
Who do you admire, and why?
I can't think of anyone specific. I always like witty underdogs, that's only natural.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
As always I worry about the state of the world, it feels more and more like were at the end of history everyday. Every new is the same, every bad news is worse than last time, our hands are tied and none of us who care are in power. I also worry that I'll die alone. Don't mean to be so grim but the question was asking for it.
What are your spiritual or religious beliefs and why do you hold them?
Spirituality that doesn't revolve around salvation is a bunch of BS to me and I don't care too much for it. Religion is something I'm torn about, I'm mostly an agnostic but it's just because I've been raised that way.
What are your political beliefs, and why? How much do you care about politics?
For the foreign politics, if we're doomed we're doomed and if we're winning we're winning, that's not in any of us little guys' control. economically, I'd have to read more about it to understand and choose a stance. Most of my family are communists so as result I lean left but I'd have to read more as I said. As for stuff like the human rights aspects, I do believe in equal rights for all humans, and I do support my country going into war with another if they're violating peoples rights. I know that gives into a lot of contradiction as most countries are violating some sort of human right currently, but something has to start somewhere, a wrong can defeat another wrong
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
I haven't thought too much about it, I haven't worked enough to know what I prefer.
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
history, idk I just like it.
What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.
The obvious one is that people believe in objective truth despite our knowledge of reality being entirely through perception
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I see people as people and society as society. It just is how it is, it's hard to describe. I think the most prevalent social problem is that people don't really care about anything as much as they care about themselves. Aside from life and death everything we have in this world is because someone wanted it. I don't think that's a bad thing or can be changed, but every problem we do have is because of it
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
I get angry as in annoyed very easily, I don't get that genuine long lasting anger as much
What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?
I do have a sense of humour but it's not very funny. I joke around a bit but as mentioned, I'm not funny
What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?
I used to have an insanely good memory as a child, I ended up memorizing the entire multiplication table before we had even learned the subject because we had a poster of it by my desk and I'd stare at it when I was bored in class. In kindergarten I also took this card game we had and I memorized every scratch and faded spot on the back of the cards and then I'd gather around all the kids from my class and tell them I could tell them the picture on any face down card they picked, and I'd end up being right like 99% of the time, I told them I was psychic lol. Also, when I had learned to talk, I'd sing nursery rhymes to myself even though no one had encouraged me to memorize them, so my mom took this opportunity to teach me poems and when we had people visiting I'd recite like 10+ poems for them and they'd praise me. The funny thing is I never used my good memory for anything useful or productive, I always used it to draw attention to myself and impress people, so maybe that's why I lost the skill overtime. Now I can't memorize shit.
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
I don't think about these things too much anymore, I don't think a meaning will come to me if I sit and think about it everyday. I don't find life very meaningful but I don't think a meaning is necessary for a good life
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
Every place is interesting the first time