also any idea about my enneagram type?
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I'm going to start studying accounting this fall. I chose the field because I didn't want to go into stem or law.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I do a lot of things through the day as an excuse to daydream (doing chores, listening to music, walking around where I live, taking a long shower). When I have the energy, I like reading philosophy and sometimes novels. Um I also watch a lot of hockey and soccer. Most of all though, I waste a lot of time on the internet especially on forums. Doing this questionnaire is one example.
What are your values, and why?
If “values” means what I look for in life, I look for truth, melodrama, beauty, free time, but truth really comes above all else. If this question is meaning my personal values, I value my time and personal space very much.
Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
I have a very good relationship with my family currently, during my childhood it was a bit more difficult because they (especially my dad) alternated between being obsessed with me, giving me lots of praise and attention, to being very distant and “you've become too spoiled and dependent on us, learn to manage yourself” which I didn't take very well, it made me very confused and despondent. And at some point I basically threw my parents out of my life because I couldn't deal with it. But we've reconciled since then, I like my parents a lot, they're smart and level headed. but we're very different people and I have to bite my tongue to avoid conflict with them, and I know they do the same for me because they love me. If I had to type them I think they're both EII, maybe my dad is IEE, but my mom is definitely EII-Fi.
As for friends....lol. I get all of my social interactions from talking to strangers on the internet. I've had surprisingly meaningful convos on porn boards.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
I honestly don't look for relationships, I'd make all my friends by chance. I don't know what I do want, no one I've ever met really satisfies me and feels more like a chore to me than a relationship. This doesn't mean I don't want anything to do with people, I'm desperately lonely, but as I said, most people tend to amplify the loneliness than help it. I see myself going down the line of cheap sex and short conversations with strangers at dive bars as my only “relationships”.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I get into conflicts with people almost on a daily basis, mostly because I'm a very bitter person and become frustrated easily.
What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?
I'm not too bothered by being wrong about a topic, I keep an open mind to what the truth is. I barely have any luxurious desires, I'm happy with my second hand clothes, the same food I eat everyday, my used 2001 car, road trips to nearby cities for vacation etc. I don't hold grudges and forget about people and their wrongs very fast. I don't deal in extremes usually. I'm good at predicting the future, I'm not kidding.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I'm really poorly disciplined and give up easily. I have a martyr complex and a victim complex. I have a short temper. I'm a pathological liar and generally try to be a sneak and hide unnecessary things. I'm very stubborn like a teenager. I don't have a personality. or morals.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I don't know. I'm not that aware of my needs. I like having a voice of reason by me.
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I like the simple parts of life, going to sports bars and malls and beaches and hot springs on the weekends. Late night drives to the corner store to get a pack of sunflower seeds, seeing mildly familiar faces while driving in the neighbourhood, having backyard bonfires, staying in cheap motels. It feels simple, in a good way.
I really despise paperwork, dealing with officials, going to the doctor, things like that. I understand everyone hates it but I hate it, I postpone it as much as I possibly can.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
Not very concrete ones. I'd like to be part of something one day. I'd like to meet someone that cures my loneliness too.
If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?
Do more of whatever it is I usually do.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
A lot of my own negative traits I don't mind in other people, in fact it makes me happy because I feel less alone. I care about self awareness a lot, I'm sure most people value it but not above all else, I can't get along with people that aren't very self aware or reflective, long term at least.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?
I clean it?
How do you behave around strangers?
As I normally do
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I insult them back. Depending on my mood, I might add even more fuel to the fire.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
Not really. Actually I have no interest in it.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
Jeans, sneakers, hoodies, t shirts, army jackets, polos, leather boots. Usually second hand, usually darker colours and very plain. Hair is usually in a pony tail because I dont want to brush it. I do wear makeup most of the time, eyeliner like they did in the 2000s and lots of concealer for my acne lol. I wear a lot of perfume because I really like the smell of perfume, sometimes cologne too but my parents don't like when I do.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
Sure, they're cute
In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
I don't think I've ever felt that way.
How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
I don't know....I have a very confusing relationship with attention. It makes me really uncomfortable but I will die without it.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
It really depends on who I'm responsible to. I was very obedient towards my parents as a child (and now) even if they asked me to do things I didn't believe are necessary. But at school, I didn't have any respect for my teachers and when told to do something I'd be very passive aggressive and try to get out of it anyway I could. Same with any sort of social responsibilities I have now. I don't like to contribute to society, I want to be left alone.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?
I don't want to raise a child.
Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?
Which friend? Why are they crying? Did I have something to do with it? In general, I'm not great at this type of stuff, I'd be really uncomfortable and awkward
What is your biggest accomplishment?
Making it through ages 10-12. Those years were just rough and I thought about suicide a lot.
What was (or is) your high school experience like?
I kept to myself and tried to study well. My grades were good. I was the designated loner so people didn't usually bother me either. I'd stay in the library during lunch and recess to read or do homework so I'd be free once I'm home. Sometimes I'd go on long walks and skip classes. Once I finished 10th grade I started doing online school, no point going to school if I can just do it from my desk at home. I only made a few very temporary friends in high school, most of them annoyed me a lot so we drifted apart. I was also in a relationship with someone 6 years older than me that went to shit and ruined my life forever.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes, if something isn't immediate I probably will dwell too much on it and never do it. Sometimes the feeling of being a bum gets me to do something about it, but very rarely.
What is something you regret?
Most of my decisions, almost any choice I've made in my life was the wrong one.
Who do you admire, and why?
I can't think of anyone specific. I will always admire witty underdogs, that's only natural.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
Many, they're too personal.
What are your spiritual or religious beliefs and why do you hold them?
Spirituality that doesn't revolve around salvation is just a bunch of BS to me and I don't care too much for it. Religion is something I'm torn about, I'm mostly an agnostic atheist but it's just because I've been raised that way, I have just as much reasons to believe than not to.
What are your political beliefs, and why? How much do you care about politics?
I don't care as much about it. I have the privilege to barely care about politics so I'm gonna enjoy it. For the foreign politics, if we're doomed we're doomed and if we're winning we're winning, that's not in any of us little guys' control.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
I haven't thought too much about it, I chose accounting it seems like a job with some potential to be high paying while being relatively easy to get into. Like being an IT but for business which is an easier industry to weasel your way up in.
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
History, I just like it idk.
What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.
The obvious one is that people believe in objective truth despite our knowledge of reality being entirely through perception.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
I went to Vancouver with my parents to visit my uncle. lots of junkies and the downtown smells like piss and crack, the sunsets were nice, the drive there is beautiful, the city itself is boring as fuck, they have really good cherries in the okanagen, super expensive tho gass was like 1.7 for a liter. Also watched the euros at my uncles house and lol @ england.
Talk about a significant event from your life.
I'd rather not actually, is it that necessary for being typed? I don't think it is.
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I see people as people, I don't usually look at the whole, it's depressing. I think the most prevalent social problem is that people don't really care about anyone as much as they care about themselves, so we fight for our own interests. Everything we have in this world is because someone wanted it.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
The same approach everyone else uses. I find easy and moral ways first, if those don't work, depending on how bad I wanted it, I might resort to...other methods.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
No, I'd rather die.
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
I'm constantly angry, almost everything makes me angry.
What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?
I used to have an insanely good memory as a child, I ended up memorizing the entire multiplication table before we had even learned the subject because we had a poster of it by my desk and I'd stare at it when I was bored in class. In kindergarten I also took this card game we had and I memorized every scratch and faded spot on the back of the cards and then I'd gather around all the kids from my class and tell them I could tell them the picture on any face down card they picked, and I'd end up being right like 99% of the time, I told them I was psychic lol. It actually freaked out my teacher and she called my parents. Also, when I had learned to talk, I'd sing nursery rhymes to myself even though no one had encouraged me to memorize them, so my mom took this opportunity to teach me poems and when we had people visiting I'd recite like 10+ poems for them and they'd praise me. The funny thing is I never used my good memory for anything useful or productive, I always used it to draw attention to myself and impress people and inflate my own ego, so maybe that's why I lost the skill overtime. Now I can't memorize shit.
What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?
I do have a sense of humour but it's not very funny or coherent. It's really only funny to me.
What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?
I was an “easy” child, I kept to myself, I didn't cry much, I wasn't too energetic and playful, adults always liked taking care of me. I did annoy other kids very much though, I was extremely self assured and stubborn and wouldn't negotiate with other kids at all, I saw myself as above them because adults liked me so much and always set me as an example of a good child and told me I wasn't like other kids my age. When I got older and adults lost interest in me and I realized how I was nothing special, I did a 180 and became a complete pushover and let other kids basically do whatever they wanted to me, I saw it as me paying for what I had done as a child. Now I'm somewhere in the middle, I don't let people push me around but if they do, I understand that I kind of deserved it.
What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
The lack of bad things happening is always good enough to me.
What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
I thought my mom was getting sick again, I'm not sure if she is.
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
Whatever I was designed to do, eat, survive, fuck, whatever it is my mind and body demands from me.
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
Every place is interesting the first time