Results 1 to 37 of 37

Thread: How do you experience contrary relations?

  1. #1
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default How do you experience contrary relations?

    How do you experience your contrary relations? What type of difficulties do you experience with that person, cognitively? If there's good crap, that works

  2. #2
    silently judging you
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    USA
    TIM
    ESI-Fi 6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    315
    Mentioned
    14 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    ESEs make better friends than romantic partners.

  3. #3
    setting your soul on fire pandemic candy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    timeless traveler
    TIM
    clown™
    Posts
    444
    Mentioned
    28 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Superficially, it feels like duality since we both have similar strengths, but often baffle each other because we approach things from different angles.

    Let's say we're both into playing basketball. I want to play so I call up my LSE friend:

    "Hey you want to play basketball?"

    "Hmm... Who's playing?"

    "Uh, so far it's just us but I'm sure we'll be able to find strangers to play with."

    "I only want to play with friends I'm familiar with."

    "But all our current friends are unavailable."

    "That's too bad."

    "..."
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” John 3:16

  4. #4
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    437
    Mentioned
    32 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Contraries are tricky. I have an EIE-Ni uncle who has basically been another father to me, and I think he’s one of the best men I know; but there’s something illusory there. I notice, from a distance interaction is imbued with apparent commonality, care, and interest, but when longer periods of time are spent together he does and says things that catch me off guard, and I’m left with the realization that I did not understand him or his aims as well as I initially thought.

    I second the statement made above about how it superficially resembles duality.
    Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 07-11-2021 at 03:20 PM.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    685
    Mentioned
    43 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    These friendships aren’t easy. But it would be odd not to have any IEE friends I guess. They text and call too much and I think I need to sometimes ignore/give one word answer to make them stop? This is not very ‘me’ but I think maybe it would help because if we talk too much we annoy and depress each other.

    I think we interpret each other as rude sometimes. I think they’re judgy/ contradictory and they think I’m too quiet and serious..but they have lots of good points. Sometimes their advice is good. We have the occasional interesting discussion. They can be funny.

    I like reading IEE posts on here sometimes.

    edit:

    I used to be quite close to an IEE but our friendship ended badly. She knew I was struggling mentally and she knew I was avoiding relationships, and she didn’t put two and two together that maybe I needed help? We were supposedly best friends but in reality I just listened to her problems and she ignored the fact I didn’t talk about mine. I put it down to being young and stupid. But also I think we were a bit competitive and I’m not sure that would have disappeared..I felt a bit like she was just using me as someone to bounce her ideas off and manipulate into entertaining her. Seeing me as someone to enrich her life/feed her ego but not as an individual who needed guidance and freedom. Sorry kinda harsh!
    Last edited by Bethany; 07-11-2021 at 04:19 PM.

  6. #6
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pandemic candy View Post
    Superficially, it feels like duality since we both have similar strengths, but often baffle each other because we approach things from different angles.

    Let's say we're both into playing basketball. I want to play so I call up my LSE friend:
    Yeah. Si wants it's environment personalized. To me, shit is shit. Personalizing the environment sounds dumb as fuck to me. Crap breaks, sometimes purposely. If so buy new shit. Pretty simple

    To me, Te's 'matter of fact' reliance on objective data is boring & limiting as fuck. Te overlooks detail that Ti's nuance will catch.

    SLI are cool but I dig my way of doing shit that incorporates real time data & classification without getting bogged down by familiarities or some lame & clunky method of pragmatics

    Friendship is cool but no cohabitation

  7. #7
    setting your soul on fire pandemic candy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    timeless traveler
    TIM
    clown™
    Posts
    444
    Mentioned
    28 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    To me, Te's 'matter of fact' reliance on objective data is boring & limiting as fuck. Te overlooks detail that Ti's nuance will catch.
    Yeah. One time me and LSE were in the car. I could tell something about me was bothering LSE. I asked him what was wrong,

    "Hey what's wrong"

    "I don't agree with your views"

    "My views on what?"

    "I think men and women should have equal rights"

    "... w t f ru talking about"

    "I heard you share your sexist views the other day"

    "Is this why we haven't seen each other in so long?"

    *LSE says nothing but I take that as a yes*

    "I do believe in equal rights between men and women, but I believe certain things shouldn't be forced, like purposely making an all-female ghost busters movie for example; I think that's kinda stupid"

    *LSE stays silent*
    An example of Te vs Ti nuance creating tension and misunderstanding.

    (In contrary, each one's Ego is the other's Id)
    Last edited by pandemic candy; 07-11-2021 at 05:27 PM.
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” John 3:16

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    Posts
    574
    Mentioned
    65 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Like we might be talking past each other at the end of it…difficult to establish connection. I do feel like I don’t typically see Si polrs “in that way” as well (thinking about my interaction with an EIE).

  9. #9
    MissDucki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Location
    In a dark room somewhere
    TIM
    SEI-Fe-C 6w7 Sp/sx
    Posts
    1,203
    Mentioned
    167 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default



    I have a SEE sister and boyyyyy are we different yet so similar at times.


    She has a lot more stamina then me and isn’t as sensitive to her environment then I am. She really likes keeping things more organized then me and loves watching lifestyle content. She is very blunt and doesn’t give too shits if she offends you lol. She is very caring and sensitive with her loved ones and is more prone to asking to hangout. She gets offended more then me when it comes to thinks and can be very firm in her judgements. A lot of people are more prone to start drama with her for some reason. She is not afraid to bug me and you need to be firm with her. We have very different styles and she is more prone to following trends of what is popular then anyone and is #basic. She finds it weird when I Ne around the place or express Ne stuff.
    She feels different. Just I always feel the Se energies. I feel more suffocated with SEE-Se men and women from time to time.


    Since living with my sister, we fought a lot when we were younger but it’s not as bad now. We are still very different and bicker over shit due to preferences and kinda give each other crap on our own sensing abilities to be honest. Since I’m used to my SEE sister, I’m used to being around that energy and I don’t take it as personally if I didn’t grow up with some gamma engere around me.


    There is still some psychological distance with SEE and I do question some shit at times but, they do mean well and can be very caring. I trust them when it comes to trends or what they are passionate at. I do enjoy their raw Se/Fi energy when it comes to art. Love Miley Cyrus‘s latest album. I really love Plastic hearts and speaks to my soul in a way.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    685
    Mentioned
    43 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    On a nicer note than my last post:

    My current IEE friends sends me beautiful photos of nature and flowers regularly. We are very polite to each other and give each other compliments. Puts a smile on my face.

    Also even though my IEE friends and I misunderstand each other sometimes, they do listen..and I need people to listen to me lol. I think I just have to accept that they will get me wrong sometimes and that I can’t be an ideal friend for them. I’m not sure how long the friendships will last, I wouldn’t like to fall out with an IEE again but if a friendship faded naturally that wouldn’t be so bad. Appreciate them while they’re around I suppose!
    Last edited by Bethany; 07-11-2021 at 05:27 PM.

  11. #11
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pandemic candy View Post
    Yeah. One time me and LSE were in the car. I could tell something about me was bothering LSE. I asked him what was wrong,



    An example of Te vs Ti nuance creating tension and misunderstanding
    We're more cognitively similar than I figured. I approach shit same as you.

    Kinda related. I prolly wouldn't shack up with SEI cause of Se/Si clash. They care where I don't in instances I don't.
    Love their practicality & charity, tho

    IEI, to be clear, are co-habital material. Wonder whether having a decent IEI mentor would speak their language better than me
    Last edited by Stray Cat; 07-11-2021 at 06:02 PM.

  12. #12
    setting your soul on fire pandemic candy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    timeless traveler
    TIM
    clown™
    Posts
    444
    Mentioned
    28 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    We're more cognitively similar than I figured. I approach shit same as you.
    "Cognitively," perhaps. But you still have this way of rationalizing things away in your mind that's particularly chick-like. Correct me if I'm wrong, but to me it's blatantly obvious u don't have a penis when reading your posts - just sayin.
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” John 3:16

  13. #13
    BandD's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    AB-IEI-Ni
    Posts
    12,795
    Mentioned
    504 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    They're okay. First the positive, let me say that IEEs usually have great 'raw empathy' for me and I think vice-versa but maybe theirs is even better because of the purity of Fi valuing or something. The IEE men can be more joke-ish or troll-y with me. I feel comfortable around them usually talking about things.. .Ixxp/Exxp compatibility is nice. If they say something that hurts my feelings, they quickly correct themselves or try to rephrase what they say. They are often the 'coolest' Delta in many ways on top of all that.

    However the problem comes when they try to get me involved in this Te crap I have no interest in really being apart of- or at least, only ILE/SLEs have really been all that successful in making be a part of it. They can get angry if I don't listen to their Te suggestions ((they can confuse me with how an EII would respond to them)) and they tend to try and help me by giving me this Te valuing Delta crap that only really helps them and not me. They don't really protect this Te weakness in me. I think contrary relationships it's a kind of a thing where you mutually 'take the wind' out of each other's sails type of thing which gets exhausting and annoying for both parties.

    If we care about the same issue in a serious, almost business-like manner- it can be more pleasant though. Like @Kim and I both being gay activists and stuff lol.

  14. #14
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    eye of the storm
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    543
    Mentioned
    36 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I've had a bunch of IEE friends since I was little.
    They make good surface-level friendships and I appreciate their company.
    IEE-Fi isn't my cup of tea though.

  15. #15
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pandemic candy View Post
    "Cognitively," perhaps. But you still have this way of rationalizing things away in your mind that's particularly chick-like. Correct me if I'm wrong, but to me it's blatantly obvious u don't have a penis when reading your posts - just sayin.
    Nah. I don't rationalize things away. You wrongly assume that what you read is all there is to know. You overindulge Ti to the point where your analysis has to be correct even when there's information you fearfully ignore

    You live inside a box of your own creation & normally keyboard warriors like you get their face broke by bullies like me.
    But, instead, fuck conversing with a Karen like you. You're only get the rabid mutt gif from now on for being a shameless retarted attention whore

  16. #16
    setting your soul on fire pandemic candy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    timeless traveler
    TIM
    clown™
    Posts
    444
    Mentioned
    28 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    Nah. I don't rationalize things away. You wrongly assume that what you read is all there is to know. You overindulge Ti to the point where your analysis has to be correct even when there's information you fearfully ignore

    You live inside a box of your own creation & normally keyboard warriors like you get their face broke by bullies like me.
    But, instead, fuck conversing with a Karen like you. You're only get the rabid mutt gif from now on for being a shameless retarted attention whore
    Lol.

    Ironically u are doing exactly what ur denying.

    Woman.
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” John 3:16

  17. #17
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pandemic candy View Post
    Lol.

    Ironically u are doing exactly what ur denying.

    Woman.

  18. #18
    setting your soul on fire pandemic candy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    timeless traveler
    TIM
    clown™
    Posts
    444
    Mentioned
    28 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    You overindulge Ti to the point where your analysis has to be correct even when there's information you fearfully ignore

    Lol, like what?

    Instead of making these generalized statements and running away, now's your chance to prove me wrong with specifics

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    The more one overanalyzes, the more they bury themselves in it, closing themselves off to new info that might contradict their thought process.
    Okay, so I realize that Ne is totally necessary in society; especially for innovation, making major breakthroughs, shifting to different paradigms, revealing some hidden truth etc etc

    But is there a point where u can reasonably draw the line and say "okay, I believe this is true" and move on, or is it this forever process of being open to new information and never drawing a conclusion for anything.

    For me, the only time I will consider new information is if it trumps/disproves what is already known, that is reasonable thing for me. Yes I won't be actively looking for new information if I feel what I found is already sufficient.

    But it's not like I'm this rigid-machine that never accepts alternative answers lol

    You overindulge Ti to the point where your analysis has to be correct even when there's information you fearfully ignore

    I ignore information that I feel doesn't trump was is already known. So it's not fear, it's disregarding things that are retarded.
    Last edited by pandemic candy; 07-11-2021 at 08:56 PM.
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” John 3:16

  19. #19
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pandemic candy View Post
    Lol, like what?

    Instead of making these generalized statements and running away, now's your chance to prove me wrong with specifics



  20. #20

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    685
    Mentioned
    43 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Atm I’m trying to take a step back in my IEE friendships. I have 2 IEE friends. I’m not super close to either but close enough. I just know that there’s no point because when you get too close to them you start to trust them, only to be disappointed, and you start fearing that feeling of being hurt. I’m sure it’s the same for them too. So I feel a lot more comfortable making the decision to be a bit cooler with them when they start putting pressure on to be closer. It’s so much more pleasant this way. I think we’ll still have the deep convos we used to have, they’ll probably be less frequent but maybe actually better quality.

  21. #21
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    25,914
    Mentioned
    664 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Like we can never build a close relationship
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  22. #22
    Kim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    TIM
    IEE e7 783 sx so
    Posts
    6,952
    Mentioned
    407 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post

    If we care about the same issue in a serious, almost business-like manner- it can be more pleasant though. Like @Kim and I both being gay activists and stuff lol.
    CONTRARIES TAKING DOWN THE HETERONORMATIVE PATRIARCHY (also <3 <3 <3)!
    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
    ― Anais Nin

  23. #23
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    Atm I’m trying to take a step back in my IEE friendships. I have 2 IEE friends. I’m not super close to either but close enough. I just know that there’s no point because when you get too close to them you start to trust them, only to be disappointed, and you start fearing that feeling of being hurt. I’m sure it’s the same for them too. So I feel a lot more comfortable making the decision to be a bit cooler with them when they start putting pressure on to be closer. It’s so much more pleasant this way. I think we’ll still have the deep convos we used to have, they’ll probably be less frequent but maybe actually better quality.
    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Like we can never build a close relationship
    What would you say is the reason for the mistrust? Is it a matter of your ego functions not being valued? Is it a matter of their values coming into conflict with yours? In some ways, my Si-ego buddies are cool until their preference for the Ne function manifests. Ne is cool. It just isn't a valued function for me.

  24. #24
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    25,914
    Mentioned
    664 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    What would you say is the reason for the mistrust? Is it a matter of your ego functions not being valued? Is it a matter of their values coming into conflict with yours? In some ways, my Si-ego buddies are cool until their preference for the Ne function manifests. Ne is cool. It just isn't a valued function for me.
    There’s no mistrust just that we approach life in different directions. My EIE friends tend to want only certain people around them that perhaps have their own hobbies and interests in common. Seems like I’m not included. I was once, just not any more. I try to include them but seems like they don’t have time for me. Maybe we are two stars passing each other at night . Their stormy emotions too get me to emphasize but you know I’m a calm and quiet person who doesn’t have much to offer in terms of activities and fun. I can be a home body who doesn’t go to parties and isn’t part of any spiritual group or organization so I’m not that much fun.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  25. #25
    BandD's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MI
    TIM
    AB-IEI-Ni
    Posts
    12,795
    Mentioned
    504 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    CONTRARIES TAKING DOWN THE HETERONORMATIVE PATRIARCHY (also <3 <3 <3)!
    Yeah!


    I don't know if I told u this before Kim but I remember that time on webcam you said something really nice to me before you left. ((idk it was like eight years ago or something.)) I forgot what you said exactly but it meant a lot to me, so thank you. It's forever on my heart like a tattoo. Betas have a soul I promise even if we have a funny way of showing it.

  26. #26

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    685
    Mentioned
    43 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think these relationships can benefit from taking a break from each other/taking a step back at times. It’s my experience at the mo. Similar to kindred relations. After a break or some emotional distance, you slowly come back together again and it feels exciting and comfortable again

  27. #27
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,897
    Mentioned
    158 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    These seem to be the best of the worst; they're cognitively dissonant but are not that bad at shaking the tree for ideas but they do tend to tread on each others toes (or egos?) a little. A good friend in engineering school was overly competitive with me although I never competed or ever wanted to, but I think that I was so opaque to him that he couldn't see that I wasn't. We had a lot of deep conversations but there was always a gulf between us that prevented us from getting close; he seemed more wary of me than I was of him.

    a.k.a. I/O

  28. #28
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    SLIs prefer their sensory internal state & pragmatic logic. SLI are aggravating at a close psychological distance or, basically, when we're living in the same house at that moment

  29. #29
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    25,914
    Mentioned
    664 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    SLIs prefer their sensory internal state & pragmatic logic. SLI are aggravating at a close psychological distance or, basically, when we're living in the same house at that moment
    My SLE friend is married to an SLI; they are both dancers and that’s about the only place and I imagine sex is probably amazing between them. But dancing keeps people together 😂
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  30. #30
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    My SLE friend is married to an SLI; they are both dancers and that’s about the only place and I imagine sex is probably amazing between them. But dancing keeps people together 😂
    That sounds like that would make sense.

  31. #31

    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    Posts
    743
    Mentioned
    23 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It's fun but I see so many pitfalls. We are clearly not going in the same direction.
    I find it to be the least aggravating opposite quadra IR tho because I don't feel confused nor hopeful about it being better, it's okay but not great and that's fine. I find I can enjoy what is there, guess temperament plays a big part of this.
    I feel compassion towards them more than anything.
    Tho, I think if I had to work with one, I'd end up doing most of the work. Wouldn't be very different from usual, lol.

  32. #32
    skosh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It feels like you read each other very well, only it doesn't matter. You either go the opposite direction or take some dangling suggestion way too far.

  33. #33
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    25,914
    Mentioned
    664 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    I had a feeling that my cousin was ENFJ and I tried to type her objectively. Turns out we have a very good relationship. She’s so brightly emotional. I mean when she suffered a miscarriage she was in shambles and I took her her favorite comfort stuff to cheer her up. I tried to give her hope, love and encouragement. I may not be very effective or received entirely by Beta NFs however there is a lot of warming or warmth among NFs it seems to me. It’s because we all sort of do relationship management. I am always so impressed by her communication skills and what’s called gumption which is balls to do and say what I often hesitate in doing so myself. At a cousin’s party once I wanted to ask the catering staff if they would make me some coffee but felt like I would be disrespectful or disruptive to their routine. I told her how I felt and she said “don’t worry Mar jan I will ask for you” I told her she was the voice I was the idea.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  34. #34
    Seed my wickedness PseudoRandomBSGenerator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Spontaneous Human Combustion
    TIM
    ILE-H LEVF/omnibeta
    Posts
    6,967
    Mentioned
    300 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    ILI's are like this guy

    The problem:
    Their opinions seem very extremely personal and it makes me unease. They also act like victims: "Look at my hurt" and even draw some pleasure of it as if they could handle physical sadism and offer it to others which is another "no-go zone" for me (anther story how one was beaten up by his parents regularly with that tone and ... Apparently he had an activation relation going on...). They seem to become pale when I look positive and say "Hi" or something. Anyway, it looks like we can talk about same topics. There is something entertaining about both of us.
    Last edited by PseudoRandomBSGenerator; 07-29-2021 at 07:13 AM.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type
    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

  35. #35

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni H946
    Posts
    685
    Mentioned
    43 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    One of my IEE friends is also my colleague. She’s my only good friend at work, although we are on different teams now. As a person I have a lot of respect for her and it’s great to have someone nice to talk about work stuff with. I value having someone’s opinion on work stuff/colleagues and I think she likes advising me. In return I provide a listening ear for her other stresses and we also both talk about being single and dating. We have some nice chat and jokes too. Always good to have a nice, supportive friend at work. I think it might actually be something quite essential for me.

  36. #36
    The Evening and the Morning Star Eudaimonia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    TIM
    EIE-Fe 3w4 Sx/So
    Posts
    1,815
    Mentioned
    82 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It feels like two travelers passing each other on a road, going in opposite directions.
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE-Fe | WELP | 3w4 sx/so

  37. #37
    ThatGuyStoleMyBike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2021
    TIM
    ESE
    Posts
    66
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    A friend of mine, also ESE, had a relationship with his contrary for a while. How he managed to keep that going for 10 years (!!@!) without either of them killing each other is beyond me. Literally everyone around knew it was disfunctional as hell. Masochistic I tell you.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •