What types have you been most romantically attracted to?

[Minde]

You guys seem to be speaking your own language that I do not entirely understand

Just interesting to notice differences in how Fi-Te dualizes in people.

Oh that is interesting! I know it might be hard to pinpoint, but I'd be curious if you can articulate the disconnect in this case.

[Minde]

Everything starting with the video response haha
what did you mean by you “observe no disagreement”?

if you don’t mind me asking.
I didn’t decode Adam’s video response. Yes I looked up the lyrics lol.

I don't mind at all.

His reply seemed like a lighthearted response to my accusation that LIEs wander. The lyrics themselves seemed kind of to describe Adam's youthful behavior, though I think the motives of that writer vs his are different. I didn't interpret as anything very deep, just a friendly reaction to my poke. (Most "serious" quadra people, particularly the rationals, seem to have at least a small aversion to seeing themselves as flighty, unreliable, inconsistent, etc. They might act like that, but generally it isn't "who they want to be.")

My response to that was two-fold: first a similarly lighthearted prod to expound if he wanted and second a reassurance that he doesn't need to be afraid of romantic entanglement with me, because I know he's expressed caution about that in a general sense regarding any member of this forum. I have an ease of communication with him, but he's safe. Even if he isn't *actually* a wanderer. I'm not sure if that's even a concern, but it seemed harmless to express it. Establishing relations and all that.

He followed up with a clarification, as I expected, as good/friendly Te's do. Then I fit the new data into my understanding / framework.

I didn't actually think all this through as concretely as that though at the time. But that's more or less what happened from my perspective. What do you think, @Adam Strange? It's also possible I entirely misinterpreted things.

[Adam Strange]

I don't mind at all.

His reply seemed like a lighthearted response to my accusation that LIEs wander. The lyrics themselves seemed kind of to describe Adam's youthful behavior, though I think the motives of that writer vs his are different. I didn't interpret as anything very deep, just a friendly reaction to my poke. (Most "serious" quadra people, particularly the rationals, seem to have at least a small aversion to seeing themselves as flighty, unreliable, inconsistent, etc. They might act like that, but generally it isn't "who they want to be.")

My response to that was two-fold: first a similarly lighthearted prod to expound if he wanted and second a reassurance that he doesn't need to be afraid of romantic entanglement with me, because I know he's expressed caution about that in a general sense regarding any member of this forum. I have an ease of communication with him, but he's safe. Even if he isn't *actually* a wanderer. I'm not sure if that's even a concern, but it seemed harmless to express it. Establishing relations and all that.

He followed up with a clarification, as I expected, as good/friendly Te's do. Then I fit the new data into my understanding / framework.

I didn't actually think all this through as concretely as that though at the time. But that's more or less what happened from my perspective. What do you think, @Adam Strange? It's also possible I entirely misinterpreted things.

@Minde, the exchange was pretty simple from my standpoint.

You said that LIEs like to wander more than you prefer.

I posted a song about wandering, and said "What? (is wrong with that?)" Because, yes, LIEs are not as faithful as LSEs and I agree with that. But that's part of what makes us LIEs and not LSEs.

You said that you observed that I didn't disagree with your assessment, and I don't.

But I thought about the label of "wanderer" and decided that it wasn't precisely what I do, and then stated that I actually drift, not wander.

You then said (I assume this is what you meant) that drifting is an EJ with Ni characteristic. I think it probably is.

Incidentally, I have repeatedly said that I'm not dating anyone on the forum, because romantic entanglements would distort the pure intertype interactions that I'm trying to understand, so yes, everyone here on the forum is safe from my predations. Even BandD.

[PinKDiGiT18]

Because, yes, LIEs are not as faithful as LSEs and I agree with that. But that's part of what makes us LIEs and not LSEs.

Why is this?

Truth be told, sometimes I feel a greater level of discomfort around LIEs than SLEs, for reasons detailed pretty well in the description of semi-dual relations on this site. We get each other at first, and then it becomes disorienting later on.

One thing I've perceived which I think might explain that is the concept of evaluatory functions. SLEs and EIIs are conflictors, but share evaluatory functions (all 4D and 1D functions) and thus judgments made on them are pretty set in stone. The judgments we each make may not agree in the least, but still are more or less concrete judgments.

LIEs and EIIs share only two evaluatory functions - Te and Fi. What feels unsettling in my interaction with LIEs is the fact that they do not have evaluatory Se and Ni. LSEs may make fun of Se when interacting with others, but when you look at how their lives are organized in general, their Se affairs are always comprehensive and "finished", which gives me a sense of security. LIEs use Se in a more flexible way, which is subject to the creative manipulations of ESI. I think the creative Ni-Se (i.e. Victim/Aggressor) dynamic might beget more open approaches to relationships - and the close psychological distance between semi-duals can make differences like this feel quite vulnerable. Who knows - this flexibility is also what makes LIE-ESI duality seem magical, seductive, and having all these qualities that I'd like in romance theoretically - but in reality, perhaps not so much.

[Minde]

You then said (I assume this is what you meant) that drifting is an EJ with Ni characteristic. I think it probably is.

Well, I meant more that the stability comes from Ej (mainly the judging) and Ni is the more variable part, which as you said distinguishes you from LSE.

Incidentally, I have repeatedly said that I'm not dating anyone on the forum, because romantic entanglements would distort the pure intertype interactions that I'm trying to understand, so yes, everyone here on the forum is safe from my predations. Even BandD.

Lol, no, I meant you were safe from me. I'm not afraid of you. I'm sure BnD is relieved, though.