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Thread: What types have you been most romantically attracted to?

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    Default What types have you been most romantically attracted to?

    Posted in Delta cuz there’s been a shortage of new threads here, but all Quadras welcome to answer!

    Goal of the thread is to see if the individuals we are, not only drawn to by appearance, but also drawn to be with romantically more or less line up with what our types are theoretically compatible with.

    Mine:

    LSE
    ESE
    SEI
    LSI
    SEE
    SLI

    All sensory. I have always been unduly attracted to sensing types. Even when I was an MBTI addict and was spoonfed the idea that EIEs were my ideal match, I always preferred sensing types romantically. I’ve been physically attracted to a handful of EIEs and LIEs, but I could never see myself in a relationship with one of them.

    What have your preferences been like?

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    mine is all over the place lol
    LIE sp/sx
    SEE sp/sx
    SEI
    Unknown type possible Alpha NT (a little unsure on this one. He picked my LII friend over me)
    IEI sp/sx 9
    ILE sx/sp 728
    IEI so/sx 9
    SLI sp/so 6 or 9
    ILI sx/so 9 or 5
    LSE, this one I am putting down with some hesitation because it seems like an inappropriate attachment on my end, partly because he was confusing. But anyways, I was genuinely strongly romantically attracted to for a while.

    I suspect I am attracted to Hs but I am not that good at typing DCNH yet in other people
    oh, and I seem to like 9s

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    Quote Originally Posted by necrosebud View Post
    SLI sp/so 6 or 9
    Ooooh. Resonate with a lot of this. Curious about this SLI sp/so as I notice you are sx/so like me - how did you get along? I have a lot of trouble connecting with people of the sp/so instinctual stack. :/

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Ooooh. Resonate with a lot of this. Curious about this SLI sp/so as I notice you are sx/so like me - how did you get along? I have a lot of trouble connecting with people of the sp/so instinctual stack. :/
    He didn't see me that way so it never really came down to connecting with him in that way...I would generally say he kinda seemed oblivious to sx stuff but we were also only friends so it wouldn't be appropriate anyway. I feel like the girl he ended up with - another friend of mine - was possibly IEE and sx last as well. They would go on walks and chat with each other quite a bit for 3-4 years before I started seeing them holding hands/being "together." When I told him I liked him, he said he wasn't really looking for something (he wasn't in a relationship with that girl at that time, nor feelings as far as I could detect but-) and he was partly right of course, sp/so seem to value to their independence over anything else. Although I also saw it as his way of letting me down. To my knowledge, he did not date anyone other that possible IEE girl.

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    Quote Originally Posted by necrosebud View Post
    He didn't see me that way so it never really came down to connecting with him in that way...I would generally say he kinda seemed oblivious to sx stuff but we were also only friends so it wouldn't be appropriate anyway. I feel like the girl he ended up with - another friend of mine - was possibly IEE and sx last as well. They would go on walks and chat with each other quite a bit for 3-4 years before I started seeing them holding hands/being "together." When I told him I liked him, he said he wasn't really looking for something (he wasn't in a relationship with that girl at that time, nor feelings as far as I could detect but-) and he was partly right of course, sp/so seem to value to their independence over anything else. Although I also saw it as his way of letting me down. To my knowledge, he did not date anyone other that possible IEE girl.
    Aw. It’s cool that he encountered a dual, but I’m sorry to hear it didn’t work out.

    I’m not going to lie - sp/so Delta STs drive me crazy. sp/so in general is cool and competent, but interaction feels like a chronic conflict of interest.

    However, I really have never felt as “at home” with people as I have with sp/sx Delta STs. They really are such a wonderful, earthy grounding force.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Aw. It’s cool that he encountered a dual, but I’m sorry to hear it didn’t work out.

    I’m not going to lie - sp/so Delta STs drive me crazy. sp/so in general is cool and competent, but interaction feels like a chronic conflict of interest.

    However, I really have never felt as “at home” with people as I have with sp/sx Delta STs. They really are such a wonderful, earthy grounding force.
    What about them drives you crazy?

    im definitely attracted to sp though looking at the pattern lol. Although I’m still not sure exactly what it is I find attractive. They can take care of something I’m not very good at? Not sure
    Last edited by necrosebud; 07-10-2021 at 11:43 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by necrosebud View Post
    What about them drives you crazy?

    im definitely attracted to sp though looking at the pattern lol. Although I’m still not sure exactly what it is I find attractive. They can take care of something I’m not very good at? Not sure
    Yess. Sp-lead is cool, just sp/so tend to be too straightforward and crude in how they communicate for me. No filter, is maybe one way to put it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Yess. Sp-lead is cool, just sp/so tend to be too straightforward and crude in how they communicate for me. No filter, is maybe one way to put it.
    Oh lol I misread I thought drive you crazy in that you liked them
    hmm, the two sp/so I can think off the top of my head that I’ve known decently well are the SLI guy and my mom. They are not crude at all and rather gentle even if detached from sx. But yeah possibly other factors also come into play with this

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Yess. Sp-lead is cool, just sp/so tend to be too straightforward and crude in how they communicate for me. No filter, is maybe one way to put it.
    Hey PinKDiGiT18! do you mind going into detail about this a little bit? I am a Sp lead, but, I have been struggling with if I am either Sp/so or Sp/sx. What you wrote about them tending to be too straightforward and crude has me intrigued and I would love to get your view on it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    Hey PinKDiGiT18! do you mind going into detail about this a little bit? I am a Sp lead, but, I have been struggling with if I am either Sp/so or Sp/sx. What you wrote about them tending to be too straightforward and crude has me intrigued and I would love to get your view on it.
    Yeah! So I’ve got a bunch of sp/so family members, and a quality I think I have observed in all of them has been this: the things they are passionate about are very clearly designated. Their energy is always evenly divided into the interests their sp has acquired, and they never lose their self-control or sense of measure to pursue one specific object of passion. They can respond sharply and with bluntness to people who either try to disrupt their installations, or who seem to have none of their own. When I approach an sp/so with an sx desire to foster more intimacy, they immediately respond with something along the lines of “okay. Can you do this sp thing now?” Sp/sx values stability over all else, but they can still be susceptible to the draw of their sx impulses and allow them to affect how they pursue their sp comforts. I think of sp/so as the instinctual stacking that gladly keeps the same habits, impressions, and surroundings for the longest period of time. Sp/sx is a bit more inclined to “refreshing” changes of impression and levels of passion/interest.
    Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 07-11-2021 at 01:00 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Yeah! So I’ve got a bunch of sp/so family members, and a quality I think I have observed in all of them has been this: the things they are passionate about are very clearly designated. Their energy is always evenly divided into the interests their sp has acquired, and they never lose their self-control or sense of measure to pursue one specific object of passion. They can respond sharply and with bluntness to people who try to either disrupt their installations, or who seem to have none of their own. When I approach an sp/so with an sx desire to be more intimate, they immediately respond something along the lines of “okay. Can you do this sp thing now?” Sp/sx values stability over all else, but they can still be susceptible to the draw of their sx impulses and allow them to affect how they pursue their sp comforts. I think of sp/so as the instinctual stacking that gladly keeps the same habits, impressions, and surroundings for the longest period of time. Sp/sx is a bit more inclined to “refreshing” changes of impression and levels of passion/interest.
    Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this. I really liked you explanation. I think I am going to go with Sp/sx for now then. As I seem to relate to it more. Though, if I ever seem to show Sp/so, dont be afraid to holla lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this. I really liked you explanation. I think I am going to go with Sp/sx for now then. As I seem to relate to it more. Though, if I ever seem to show Sp/so, dont be afraid to holla lol.
    Of course! I could see sp/sx for you, but whether you’re sp/sx or sp/so I very much enjoy reading your posts!

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Of course! I could see sp/sx for you, but whether you’re sp/sx or sp/so I very much enjoy reading your posts!


    Thank you! And the same goes from me to you!

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    What types have you been most romantically attracted to?
    Gamma SF surprisingly often, IEE and LSE as well

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    Quote Originally Posted by Karbonkel View Post
    Gamma SF surprisingly often, IEE and LSE as well
    Gamma SFs used to be my kryptonite as well - never thought I would get over my SEE ex. That Fi connection is dangerous. Falling for Delta STs has more or less immunized me to them now, though.

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    When I think about it deeply,SLE and SLI, I've not met SEI's that I'm aware of. I'd ask @Adamstrange about his son if I were younger...
    Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

    -Carl Jung

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    For me there's different flavors of romantic attraction, and it's relatively rare that I'm physically attracted to anyone. However, it's overall been sensors, with the occasional LIE, though whenever I get closer to LIEs I realize the physical disconnect so I guess that's not really romantic attraction. With them I usually just really enjoy being in their company, especially the more Te they lean. Our conversations can be great. Unfortunately, LIEs like to wander more than I'd prefer and it takes more work than I'm usually up for to keep them close, even as friends. That's probably for the best, though it is a little aggravating. (Expat and even @Adam Strange are examples of LIEs that I'm "attracted" to in that sense. I find it very easy to get along with both of them, even when we have disagreements.)

    On average, ESEs seem to have physically attracted me the most. SLEs from a distance, too. Of course, any degree of closeness with a SLE and the attraction quickly drops for me, heh. SEIs have been appealing to me, too, though in a more "comfy" way than ESEs, oddly. I feel physically very happy with SEIs, but it's more like sinking into a warm bath than sexually exciting.

    Of the few people that I've felt very physically attracted to in their presence, two have been ESEs, one SEI, and one LSE.

    Obviously the expectation is that LSEs are The Best Thing Ever, and I do think that overall they hit all the important pieces of romantic attraction for me, especially long term. But they're less initially exciting, usually, than a couple of other types. And for awhile I had a hard time spotting them. Also, sometimes their behavior, especially if they're immature or acting out, can be very off-putting.

    As for SLIs, they can be attractive but also confusing, lol. Like... are you interested or not? Do you even acknowledge my existence? I like their physicality and practicality, and they can be loyal friends once you make it in, but to me they're also oddly unreliable in some ways. And getting into their circle of "I actually care about you - mostly" can be more work and take more time than I have available.

    SEEs can be attractive, but also scary. We are alike enough to connect on some levels, but I don't actually feel comfortable having them close long. I need to feel some level of comfort and safety.

    LSIs and ESIs can be stunningly beautiful but not attractive to me.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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    What?

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    I observe no disagreement lol.

    (Wanderers are not my type, to reiterate a point on the original topic.)
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    I observe no disagreement lol.

    (Wanderers are not my type, to reiterate a point on the original topic.)

    I don't think I actually wander. If ignored, though, I tend to drift.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don't think I actually wander. If ignored, though, I tend to drift.
    Ok, yes, that makes sense. Ej Ni.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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    You guys seem to be speaking your own language that I do not entirely understand

    Just interesting to notice differences in how Fi-Te dualizes in people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by necrosebud View Post
    You guys seem to be speaking your own language that I do not entirely understand

    Just interesting to notice differences in how Fi-Te dualizes in people.
    Oh that is interesting! I know it might be hard to pinpoint, but I'd be curious if you can articulate the disconnect in this case.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    Oh that is interesting! I know it might be hard to pinpoint, but I'd be curious if you can articulate the disconnect in this case.
    Everything starting with the video response haha
    what did you mean by you “observe no disagreement”?

    if you don’t mind me asking.
    I didn’t decode Adam’s video response. Yes I looked up the lyrics lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by necrosebud View Post
    Everything starting with the video response haha
    what did you mean by you “observe no disagreement”?

    if you don’t mind me asking.
    I didn’t decode Adam’s video response. Yes I looked up the lyrics lol.
    I don't mind at all.

    His reply seemed like a lighthearted response to my accusation that LIEs wander. The lyrics themselves seemed kind of to describe Adam's youthful behavior, though I think the motives of that writer vs his are different. I didn't interpret as anything very deep, just a friendly reaction to my poke. (Most "serious" quadra people, particularly the rationals, seem to have at least a small aversion to seeing themselves as flighty, unreliable, inconsistent, etc. They might act like that, but generally it isn't "who they want to be.")

    My response to that was two-fold: first a similarly lighthearted prod to expound if he wanted and second a reassurance that he doesn't need to be afraid of romantic entanglement with me, because I know he's expressed caution about that in a general sense regarding any member of this forum. I have an ease of communication with him, but he's safe. Even if he isn't *actually* a wanderer. I'm not sure if that's even a concern, but it seemed harmless to express it. Establishing relations and all that.

    He followed up with a clarification, as I expected, as good/friendly Te's do. Then I fit the new data into my understanding / framework.

    I didn't actually think all this through as concretely as that though at the time. But that's more or less what happened from my perspective. What do you think, @Adam Strange? It's also possible I entirely misinterpreted things.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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    Social blind, NF, some SF too but rare.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    I don't mind at all.

    His reply seemed like a lighthearted response to my accusation that LIEs wander. The lyrics themselves seemed kind of to describe Adam's youthful behavior, though I think the motives of that writer vs his are different. I didn't interpret as anything very deep, just a friendly reaction to my poke. (Most "serious" quadra people, particularly the rationals, seem to have at least a small aversion to seeing themselves as flighty, unreliable, inconsistent, etc. They might act like that, but generally it isn't "who they want to be.")

    My response to that was two-fold: first a similarly lighthearted prod to expound if he wanted and second a reassurance that he doesn't need to be afraid of romantic entanglement with me, because I know he's expressed caution about that in a general sense regarding any member of this forum. I have an ease of communication with him, but he's safe. Even if he isn't *actually* a wanderer. I'm not sure if that's even a concern, but it seemed harmless to express it. Establishing relations and all that.

    He followed up with a clarification, as I expected, as good/friendly Te's do. Then I fit the new data into my understanding / framework.

    I didn't actually think all this through as concretely as that though at the time. But that's more or less what happened from my perspective. What do you think, @Adam Strange? It's also possible I entirely misinterpreted things.
    @Minde, the exchange was pretty simple from my standpoint.

    You said that LIEs like to wander more than you prefer.

    I posted a song about wandering, and said "What? (is wrong with that?)" Because, yes, LIEs are not as faithful as LSEs and I agree with that. But that's part of what makes us LIEs and not LSEs.

    You said that you observed that I didn't disagree with your assessment, and I don't.

    But I thought about the label of "wanderer" and decided that it wasn't precisely what I do, and then stated that I actually drift, not wander.

    You then said (I assume this is what you meant) that drifting is an EJ with Ni characteristic. I think it probably is.

    Incidentally, I have repeatedly said that I'm not dating anyone on the forum, because romantic entanglements would distort the pure intertype interactions that I'm trying to understand, so yes, everyone here on the forum is safe from my predations. Even BandD.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Because, yes, LIEs are not as faithful as LSEs and I agree with that. But that's part of what makes us LIEs and not LSEs.
    Why is this?

    Truth be told, sometimes I feel a greater level of discomfort around LIEs than SLEs, for reasons detailed pretty well in the description of semi-dual relations on this site. We get each other at first, and then it becomes disorienting later on.

    One thing I've perceived which I think might explain that is the concept of evaluatory functions. SLEs and EIIs are conflictors, but share evaluatory functions (all 4D and 1D functions) and thus judgments made on them are pretty set in stone. The judgments we each make may not agree in the least, but still are more or less concrete judgments.

    LIEs and EIIs share only two evaluatory functions - Te and Fi. What feels unsettling in my interaction with LIEs is the fact that they do not have evaluatory Se and Ni. LSEs may make fun of Se when interacting with others, but when you look at how their lives are organized in general, their Se affairs are always comprehensive and "finished", which gives me a sense of security. LIEs use Se in a more flexible way, which is subject to the creative manipulations of ESI. I think the creative Ni-Se (i.e. Victim/Aggressor) dynamic might beget more open approaches to relationships - and the close psychological distance between semi-duals can make differences like this feel quite vulnerable. Who knows - this flexibility is also what makes LIE-ESI duality seem magical, seductive, and having all these qualities that I'd like in romance theoretically - but in reality, perhaps not so much.
    Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 07-16-2021 at 01:53 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    You then said (I assume this is what you meant) that drifting is an EJ with Ni characteristic. I think it probably is.
    Well, I meant more that the stability comes from Ej (mainly the judging) and Ni is the more variable part, which as you said distinguishes you from LSE.

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Incidentally, I have repeatedly said that I'm not dating anyone on the forum, because romantic entanglements would distort the pure intertype interactions that I'm trying to understand, so yes, everyone here on the forum is safe from my predations. Even BandD.
    Lol, no, I meant you were safe from me. I'm not afraid of you. I'm sure BnD is relieved, though.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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    If by the adverb "romantically", you refer to being attracted in exciting and mysterious ways that seems to have no concrete rationale then I've had no particular preference. The attractions were animalistic and had more to do with physical attributes. My longer-term relationships tended to have many more practical elements. I've been far more of a loyal provider than a romantic, which is perhaps why I've had so many failed relationships.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    If by the adverb "romantically", you refer to being attracted in exciting and mysterious ways that seems to have no concrete rationale then I've had no particular preference. The attractions were animalistic and had more to do with physical attributes. My longer-term relationships tended to have many more practical elements. I've been far more of a loyal provider than a romantic, which is perhaps why I've had so many failed relationships.

    a.k.a. I/O
    By romantically, I meant attraction that extended beyond physical appeal, that also touches on perceived qualities in the person you'd like in a relationship. Pure animalistic attraction would alter a few things in my own list.

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    Only SEI, SLI and ILI. I dig that Ip passive adaptive vibe.

    EJs are a big turn off (just chill pls), IP get boring and rigid and EPs are too superficial.
    Life is soup. I'm a fork. - IEE-Ne DCNH-C/N - ELVF - cp6w7-8/4 tritype sx/sp

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