Yeah most of my qualities aren't really good, especially (Never gets anything done in real life but has big dreams) which is my biggest flaw. If I could focus though, I would have a greater chance of actually making it big. I hate to say it because it makes me look like a loser, and probably most people can't understand why I have a lack of focus, so (probably deservedly) people think I am lazy. Subconsciously I know what to do, but the thought rarely becomes action. Most days I just kind of daydream and ponder stuff and ruminate, and I forget everything I need to actually be doing... People think I am rational and "need structure" just because I would like a motivational push (or at least give me magical attention drugs). I wonder if it's a combination of attention deficit and depression causing weird mental escapism into daydreaming and fantasizing, because I have had this problem my entire life. It's my Achilles heel, and I pretty much why I hate myself and think I must be a defected loser.
Like I almost got all the things necessary to actually function and succeed, but then as a cruel joke the world made me self critical and inert, or I subconsciously, masochistically made myself like this.
Ugh, this is weird but okay. Because I spend so much time inert, it gives me time to really think about things, which is why I already know what I want to do with my life and I have a semi-finished manifesto already. I have strength in ethics, both in producing strong emotions (Fe) and in understanding ethical matters (Fi), which is very useful for achieving my goals. E4 helps with being passionate and finding a certain personal sense of beauty and meaning in the world and art. Feels kind of weird to talk about my strengths because it sounds kind of arrogant to me, but whatever type I end up being, those strengths are my strengths.