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Thread: Help with bad communication styles compatibility

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    DeliMeat's Avatar
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    Question Help with bad communication styles compatibility

    So yeah, this thread is supposed to be about sharing experiences and advice about dealing with and adapting to less than optimal communication styles.

    http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.p...ication_styles

    I don’t have much to contribute to this thread yet, but I will go ahead and say that I am personally interested in learning about how to work around the difficulties with sincere+cold-blooded styles. I am currently trying to forge such a relationship and I am finding the cold-blooded style to be really off-putting so far since I’m not used to it. But of course, discuss all of the other styles as well.

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    BandD's Avatar
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    Cold-blooded style reminds me of like Gamma Fi and I agree that is also off putting to me. Even though Betas are known to be evil demons, we're also sensitive and sweet-hearted demons (especially the IEIs) and so it's okay if you don't prefer cold-blooded style lol. I remember sometimes people even chastised Betas for being 'too nice' or liking niceness too much at times, and I think for the Beta ethicals especially this can have a lot of truth to it. Even SLEs/LSIs are probably saved more by somebody simply being kind and forgiving to them than some lengthy prison sentence but YMMV on that. I'm not sure that will work with every 'bad SLE' or anything- but I naively like to think it works some of the time.

    I don't respond well to somebody being all Hannibal with me either, unless I feel they really earned the right to be that way- but usually it's just some Gamma living in a trailer park that's pissed off they didn't do much with their own life or something.

    If you want to communicate with more serious Fi types, then just force yourself to be more serious and Fi like they are -but that type of thing goes both ways, and if they also aren't being somewhat nice and using a bit of lighthearted gay Fe themselves- I don't think it's worth even trying to interact with them.

    You liked my gay Kylie pop song remember? It obviously was very Fe valuing. Here, I will post it again just to give Fi valuers a stroke:


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    Stray Cat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeliMeat View Post
    So yeah, this thread is supposed to be about sharing experiences and advice about dealing with and adapting to less than optimal communication styles.

    http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.p...ication_styles

    I don’t have much to contribute to this thread yet, but I will go ahead and say that I am personally interested in learning about how to work around the difficulties with sincere+cold-blooded styles. I am currently trying to forge such a relationship and I am finding the cold-blooded style to be really off-putting so far since I’m not used to it. But of course, discuss all of the other styles as well.
    Those 2 communication styles aren't especially complimentary. You basically gotta admire the person for some other qualities while acknowledging you'll never be perfectly complimentary. I'm sure ya'll have some cool ass common ground. Work with all that, don't step on their "bad" bullshit & have a blast otherwise.

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    I don't respond well to somebody being all Hannibal with me either, unless I feel they really earned the right to be that way- but usually it's just some Gamma living in a trailer park that's pissed off they didn't do much with their own life or something.
    lmao, where do you come up with this sh*t?

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Yeah my boss is LSI which is the "cold" type however he's quite sympathetic when it comes of my health issues so I think most people don't see the "warm" side as it's masked in moods that are more serious. This fits him

    "People of these types are not confident in their feelings and act restrained in their emotional displays."

    I would say use your Fe, create a certain emotional atmosphere or even recognize and tell them what mood they are in or joke with them. That's what my SEI coworker used to do with the LSI boss.

    Ok i see the problem.

    The problem is that you and I are both "Sincere/Soulful style: IxFx (EII, ESI, IEI, SEI)

    Sincere/Soulful communication style group is comprised of ethical introverted types: INFp (IEI), ISFp (SEI), INFj (EII), and ISFj (ESI).

    and not passionate. My sister is ESE and she bring so much emotion to others around her. On Facebook the other day she posted "it's my dad's 4th year of passing...I love this man I miss him so much with crying emotions and hearts and such" it made everyone sympathize with her. I didn't post anything. I loved my dad and I cry inside so often but try not to let it out.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 06-20-2021 at 03:29 PM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    IEIs are not always sincere; more than a few have told me what they thought that I wanted to hear rather than the truth. The indirectness and deflection of diplomatic styles can be rather inefficient and is often ineffective. However, if the purpose is to ruffle no feathers then it's best to say nothing substantive. Advice: a person who has a cold-blooded style usually can handle the truth so give it to them. If you don't, they tend to either become more direct and perhaps colder, or they tune out.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    I remember, quite a long time ago (it was even before I heard about socionics), I said a coworker the following, quite unexpectedly : "Say what you have to say, effectiveness comes first". She was constantly dancing around some issue, filling the interactions with niceties, and my work could suffer from it (not hers I suppose). She was SEI.

    The IxFp types I know seem to lie to me very often, and I don't have tolerance for that anymore (I'm an IT type). So I have some conflicts with them, but I don't mind (even if it has never done any good).

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    IEIs are not always sincere; more than a few have told me what they thought that I wanted to hear rather than the truth.
    I'm guilty of this sometimes, but I don't trust that other people are emotionally strong enough to handle the truth- that they will go off the deep end and shoot up a school or whatever. As they say 'the truth hurts' and I can give people the truth, but only if they are man or woman enough to take it.

    Advice: a person who has a cold-blooded style usually can handle the truth so give it to them.
    As Clarice would say to Hannibal, They can handle the truth about others very well- when you say it about themselves they tend to get oversensitive and violent.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    Cold-blooded style reminds me of like Gamma Fi and I agree that is also off putting to me. Even though Betas are known to be evil demons, we're also sensitive and sweet-hearted demons (especially the IEIs) and so it's okay if you don't prefer cold-blooded style lol. I remember sometimes people even chastised Betas for being 'too nice' or liking niceness too much at times, and I think for the Beta ethicals especially this can have a lot of truth to it. Even SLEs/LSIs are probably saved more by somebody simply being kind and forgiving to them than some lengthy prison sentence but YMMV on that. I'm not sure that will work with every 'bad SLE' or anything- but I naively like to think it works some of the time.

    I don't respond well to somebody being all Hannibal with me either, unless I feel they really earned the right to be that way- but usually it's just some Gamma living in a trailer park that's pissed off they didn't do much with their own life or something.

    If you want to communicate with more serious Fi types, then just force yourself to be more serious and Fi like they are -but that type of thing goes both ways, and if they also aren't being somewhat nice and using a bit of lighthearted gay Fe themselves- I don't think it's worth even trying to interact with them.

    You liked my gay Kylie pop song remember? It obviously was very Fe valuing. Here, I will post it again just to give Fi valuers a stroke:

    I swear Fe value types's eyes make me feel like they are trying to invade my soul/ my personal feeling. They can attack me with just a glare, lol.

    Fe vs Fe polr advise: don't make eye contact too much, don't try to make Fe connection, and don't get too close.

    P/s: What is the singer's type?
    Last edited by Moharu; 06-23-2021 at 08:59 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moharu View Post
    I swear Fe value types's eyes make me feel like they are trying to invade my soul/ my personal feeling. They can attack me with just a glare, lol.

    Fe vs Fe polr advise: don't make eye contact too much, don't try to make Fe connection, and don't get too close.
    How is eye contact related Fe?

    I have a strong eye contact, one person said he can't look people's eyes instead he looks people's forehead and other people think he looks to their eyes, I found that hilarious.

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    Moharu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    How is eye contact related Fe?

    I have a strong eye contact, one person said he can't look people's eyes instead he looks people's forehead and other people think he looks to their eyes, I found that hilarious.
    "Eye is the gateway to the soul". If Fe user want to read people's emotion, and build the emotional connection, of course they have to maintain eye contact with everyone in the conversation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moharu View Post
    "Eye is the gateway to the soul". If Fe user want to read people's emotion, and build the emotional connection, of course they have to maintain eye contact with everyone in the conversation.
    What I noticed is strong Fe types give equal eye contacts to everyone in the group effortlessly, ofcourse if they don't have any reason to look into someone particular. Regardless of type, if someone is looking straight to your eyes alone, they are saying you have all their attention. It can also be a sign of attraction but I think most people tend to do that Fe valuing or not. Other than that, I haven't seen any correlation between eye contact and Fe valuing. However, I will check it out to see if there is something I miss.

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