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Thread: Being basically neutral towards your activity relation

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    Default Being basically neutral towards your activity relation

    Simply, my activity doesn't energize or excite me in any way. We agree sometimes. Helping 'em is cool but the compatibility is an overrated f*ck.

    It's def in no way an activity partner's job to entertain me. They're cool folk. Got no desire for lead Fe (creative Fe is ace, funny enough). Their Ni is nice but they irritate more than activate from my perspective. Even with hot EIE I seemingly don't give one f*ck.

    For the rec, I'm an SLE for sure

    How do y'all connect with your activity partners?

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    SLI and I find each other pleasant, quickly remove psychological barriers, and strike up a connection that fosters a sense that we can depend on one another. It goes awry when we realize we, in fact, cannot support one another. At least, not in the way we believed we could. Where one expects flexibility, the other is intractable, and vice versa. Communication is imperative because each of us is assuming the other person has a thought process like their dual, when in fact they do not.

    Example: my SLI-Si best friend of years from long ago suddenly stopped responding to my attempts to contact her, and after half a decade started trying to reconnect. We never talked about why this happened. I only now, almost a decade later, realized it may have had to do with an issue happening around the time of cut contact that may have affected my friend’s Fe PoLR. Because Fe is my ignoring function, I paid it no attention and it did not remotely occur to me that she would care. But she did, and gave me hints that an IEE would have quickly understood, but that went straight over my head.

    IME/IMO it’s a lot of fun, but with regard to the long-term compatibility they talk about it’s definitely overrated.
    Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 06-06-2021 at 01:44 AM.

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    Congrats on that. Obviously you've an idea of what caused the miscommunication. Kinda makes you a kick ass human being.

    Not sure I'll ever get why too much Fe is gross. I'd rather eat poop then hear lead Fe.

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    I don’t seem to connect well to my Activity partners. We seem determined to remain strangers.

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    I wouldn't put activity partners (or semi-duals) at the top of my list of good ITR for relationships. (Although I still think they could be good). Maybe, this has something to do with the fact my siblings are these types (1 x LSI and 2 x SEE). Maybe it feels too close to home.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    Congrats on that. Obviously you've an idea of what caused the miscommunication. Kinda makes you a kick ass human being.

    Not sure I'll ever get why too much Fe is gross. I'd rather eat poop then hear lead Fe.
    Yo, thanks.

    I wonder why. You said in another post you have an Fe lead parent - from experience, thatís more than enough of a reason to not vibe with it as much. Not even because of mental health vs unhealthiness, but because of the rational expectations. With Fe creatives, itís just fun and easygoing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I don’t seem to connect well to my Activity partners. We seem determined to remain strangers.
    Have you ever been attracted to an SEE-Fi woman?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    I wouldn't put activity partners (or semi-duals) at the top of my list of good ITR for relationships. (Although I still think they could be good). Maybe, this has something to do with the fact my siblings are these types (1 x LSI and 2 x SEE). Maybe it feels too close to home.
    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Yo, thanks.

    I wonder why. You said in another post you have an Fe lead parent - from experience, that’s more than enough of a reason to not vibe with it as much. Not even because of mental health vs unhealthiness, but because of the rational expectations. With Fe creatives, it’s just fun and easygoing.
    Yeah, I hear ya on that

    Pretty much never use family with regard to type compatibility. Wouldn't be fair if I avoided EIE cause my mom was ESE, ya know. . Its tempting to consider family but those are people one tends to love somewhat unconditionally.

    You're correct about the rational expectations. Theoretically, the creative just supports lead. However, I've met certain types unusually obsessed with their creative. Apparently, creative is the main tool used to "take care of others". Dunno.

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    @Stray Cat Yep if I met a nice LSI or SEE randomly, I might give them a chance Just not sure how naturally drawn to them I am.

    I like talking to LSI at work, I’d really miss them if they weren’t around.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Have you ever been attracted to an SEE-Fi woman?
    @PinKDiGiT18, no, not in a romantic sense. I interacted with one for a couple months and really, she was fun to be around and great to talk to, but she was interested in some guy who might have been an LSI, possibly, and to me that indicates that she has no idea what she’s doing.

    She was cute and fun and easy to get along with, though. Very cheerful, very upbeat. The fact that she was shy on factual reasoning didn’t matter in the least.

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    I'm quite sure that SLEs can connect physically to EIEs but cognitively is quite another matter. EIEs tend to be control freaks while SLEs cherish their freedom from such people. SLEs like to keep it all simple and straightforward while EIEs tend to make many things very complicated, often for their own advantages. EIEs can be very invasive and smothering in a tactical sense while SLEs prefer wide open spaces and minimal commitments. EIEs are definitely output oriented usually with full plates and many develop disdain for low-productivity (in their eyes), input-oriented people such as SLEs. These two can meet occasionally for fun but they certainly will never remain on the same path. And being a subtype doesn't help either.

    a.k.a. I/O
    Last edited by Rebelondeck; 06-07-2021 at 11:33 AM. Reason: grammar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    I'm quite sure that SLEs can connect physically to EIEs but cognitively is quite another matter. EIEs tend to be control freaks while SLEs cherish their freedom from such people. SLEs like to keep it all simple and straightforward while EIEs tend to make many things very complicated, often for their own advantages. EIEs can be very invasive and smothering in a tactical sense while SLEs prefer wide open spaces and minimal commitments. EIEs are definitely output oriented usually with full plates and many develop disdain for low-productivity (in their eyes), input-oriented people such as SLEs. These two can meet occasionally for fun but they certainly will never remain on the same path. And being a subtype doesn't help either.

    a.k.a. I/O
    I thought SLEs were the type to easily take charge of situations and groups.
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    Quote Originally Posted by eiemo View Post
    I thought SLEs were the type to easily take charge of situations and groups.
    Only if it's aligned with their own purposes, not out of some sense of civic duty. EJ types are more likely to try to do it for the love of it in itself. Se leads love freedom and do not accept control freaks and micromanagement.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eiemo View Post
    I thought SLEs were the type to easily take charge of situations and groups.
    We can but if we're dealing with someone who's an absolute tool, that crap is annoying. That's why confrontation & firing exists

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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    Only if it's aligned with their own purposes, not out of some sense of civic duty. EJ types are more likely to try to do it for the love of it in itself. Se leads love freedom and do not accept control freaks and micromanagement.
    I considered both SLE and SEE for the aforementioned reasons: I am assertive and ambitious. Maybe I am not one of those types.
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    Quote Originally Posted by eiemo View Post
    I considered both SLE and SEE for the aforementioned reasons: I am assertive and ambitious. Maybe I am not one of those types.
    Lots of types can be assertive and ambitious, not only Se leads.

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    EIE and SLE Activity is often one with tension, Iíve found, in comparison to many other Activity relations. Itís due to the nature of them both being Beta extraverts, ie. thereís bound to be drama centered around something because of Fe-Se social dynamics. So itís either a lot of tension, or itís so incredible itís inspiring (and yes, there can be both, too). I think itís important, when both types are interacting, that they leave their discussions towards their personal interpretations of life- that way both parties are putting their focus more on Ni and Ti (the valued Introvert functions in Beta) in order to round things out more and reduce tensions, and I recommend doing so in a humorous/more lighthearted fashion in order to stimulate harmonious Fe on top of that, rather than venomous Fe.

    Hope that helped.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eiemo View Post
    I thought SLEs were the type to easily take charge of situations and groups.
    SLEs have often been known to charge into something but taking charge isn't their natural thing although I'm sure they can in a pinch and some may think that they'll actually be good at it. Being in control is more natural for EIEs and they'll likely try to finagle it from SLEs.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    SLEs have often been known to charge into something but taking charge isn't their natural thing although I'm sure they can in a pinch and some may think that they'll actually be good at it. Being in control is more natural for EIEs and they'll likely try to finagle it from SLEs.

    a.k.a. I/O
    If the EIE is an idiot, I won't stand for them leading any group I'm in

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    If the EIE is an idiot, I won't stand for them leading any group I'm in
    Yours isn't an unexpected reaction. I place activity relations in the bottom half for their potential to find a meeting of minds or any kind of working relationship without overriding supervision.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    SEI and me is a tough nut to crack. There is a quiet affinity that allows us to close the distance. Yet we can appear equally distant when, just moments ago, we were exchanging pleasantries and very nearly mind-humping each other. SEI can detect LIIs pretty easily. Mature SEIs seem to fall silent or become uncommunicative when they suspect the LII is really needy, then do the same when the LII appears to be a swell in need of nothing. Detectable though they are, easily detectable they are not. They just don't know what to do with them. At least that's my impression.

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    A bit different than you. I like LSIs a lot but I don't think we ever interact that much directly. If we did there would probably be a lot of problems so it's probably better this way that we kinda just idealize/fawn over each other in the starry distance.

    Also maybe you don't get excited over a lot of interactions types even when 'you should' more because you're xxTx. As a xxTx type you're not supposed to get all that excited over things much anyway probably, you're supposed to just calmly tell people how X works mechanically.

    Also maybe why I like activity more than you is I read that activity is great for leisure but not so much in business/work settings and being Te polr I naturally just want to talk people in a more casual way anyway so that's why it works out for me. Something about LSIs is pretty chill yet invigorating at the same time. Like a good massage.

    I remember once when a LSI wanted 'authority' over me it didn't go too well and we didn't respect each other but when they saw me more as an equal and dropped their authority seeking- we got along much better. Because I actually was much better at the authority position than they were anyway lol.

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    I did have a LSI friend growing up (also EIE). They were my best friends for ten years. Stopped seeing each other at around uni age. I actually think I would have benefited from having activity and mirror friendships in my twenties. But I was very shy and withdrawn and LSI can be the type that likes to keep to themselves as well.

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