Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 40 of 47

Thread: Do you prefer your Mirage or Activity partner?

  1. #1
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Do you prefer your Mirage or Activity partner?

    Opinions? While my activators are in my quadra and I very much enjoy their company, the rational/irrational issue inevitably causes conflict at some point. I don't always get along with my Mirages, but the ones with whom I do become reliable companions for me.

  2. #2
    The Darling Duck~ MissDucki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Location
    In a dark room somewhere
    TIM
    ESE
    Posts
    1,543
    Mentioned
    209 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    For business, fun, and taking over the world I would prefer an activity partner. For romance and a long-term relationship I would prefer an activity partner.

    The SLE's that I get along with are fun as hell and I would trust them in the trenches with me. I find they can be great partner's in crime when I want to get something done and they are on the same page. Romantically, I find it hard to be with them. I understand them is an emotional axis but not when it comes to philosophies in life and what I need. It can be a really good pairing if you are fine with a difference in viewing the world and different needs for input. The feeling of love is similar but the approach will always be off unless the same goal is in mind. Mirage relationships feel like drag racing to me. Fun, accelerating, and one wrong move or communication and stuff can go wrong.

    I can happily be in a long term relationship with an LII. They cover my weakness and they enjoy my strengths. I am more prone to listening and accepting the information from an LII then an SLE. The way the explain it and go about information make it more appealing and I easily know what to do with it. LII has a closer view of my kind of romance then an SLE. It is not as accelerating or crazy fun but it is natural and warm. I feel more understood in my views and needs of input and they often have something similar. Everything naturally falls into line a bit more. I think I naturally feel more protective of LII and I enjoy that protective feeling that I get. Activity is like having a squirt gun fight with your partner on a hot day. It's cute, fun, and you feel comfortable sharing your childish side with them.

  3. #3
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    617
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Opinions? While my activators are in my quadra and I very much enjoy their company, the rational/irrational issue inevitably causes conflict at some point. I don't always get along with my Mirages, but the ones with whom I do become reliable companions for me.
    I agree.

    EIE are my activity. They're rational, lead with Fe & have Se as their HA. I dig the Fe but not as lead. Se as HA just ain't my cup of beer. As for rationals... Nah.

    SEI-Fe cover my polr & have Fe as creative. I'd be cool living next door to an SEI & enjoying life together. Se & Si correct each other so living together... f*ck naw.

    I prefer mirage over activity. IEI are awesome but their Ni can sometimes be garbage. I'd rather drink & watch Hallmark movies then do that sh*t. Worth noting I'm not a fan of marriage basically, at all.

  4. #4
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    eye of the storm
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    569
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Mirage!
    But in absence of a dual I currently wouldn't mind having a few activity relationships to stimulate me, cause right now the only person i really talk to is an ILE and I'm a bit sick of this "mirage vacation timez purgatory"

  5. #5
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    eye of the storm
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    569
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    IEI are awesome but their Ni can sometimes be garbage. I'd rather drink & watch Hallmark movies then do that sh*t. Worth noting I'm not a fan of marriage basically, at all.
    Aw, if you find a nice IEI-Fe that's where you would help!

  6. #6
    CR400AF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Location
    Earth
    TIM
    LII 5w6-1w9-2w1
    Posts
    180
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Not very sure since I'm in lack of experience. But probably I will choose activity. My mirage partner is LSE and their base is my ignoring.

  7. #7
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    Mirage!
    But in absence of a dual I currently wouldn't mind having a few activity relationships to stimulate me, cause right now the only person i really talk to is an ILE and I'm a bit sick of this "mirage vacation timez purgatory"
    Curious, is this an ILE-Ne or ILE-Ti?

  8. #8
    jason_m's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    1,296
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It's debatable for me, as my tastes and interests vary. The problem with mirage is that I don't have a deep understanding of business logic, so that can be an issue. I would guess that overall SEI is a better match...

    I almost want to add another question: what if you throw moth-and-the-flame into the mix? Would that change your answer?

  9. #9
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    eye of the storm
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    569
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Curious, is this an ILE-Ne or ILE-Ti?
    She's ILE-Ne

  10. #10
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    The SLE's that I get along with are fun as hell and I would trust them in the trenches with me. I find they can be great partner's in crime when I want to get something done and they are on the same page. Romantically, I find it hard to be with them. I understand them is an emotional axis but not when it comes to philosophies in life and what I need. It can be a really good pairing if you are fine with a difference in viewing the world and different needs for input. The feeling of love is similar but the approach will always be off unless the same goal is in mind. Mirage relationships feel like drag racing to me. Fun, accelerating, and one wrong move or communication and stuff can go wrong.

    I can happily be in a long term relationship with an LII. They cover my weakness and they enjoy my strengths. I am more prone to listening and accepting the information from an LII then an SLE. The way the explain it and go about information make it more appealing and I easily know what to do with it. LII has a closer view of my kind of romance then an SLE. It is not as accelerating or crazy fun but it is natural and warm. I feel more understood in my views and needs of input and they often have something similar. Everything naturally falls into line a bit more. I think I naturally feel more protective of LII and I enjoy that protective feeling that I get. Activity is like having a squirt gun fight with your partner on a hot day. It's cute, fun, and you feel comfortable sharing your childish side with them.
    Bolded is definitely Mirage in a nutshell most of the time. I have to say, the most successful long-term marriages I know have been between Activity partners. My best friend growing up was SLI, but I just don’t know if it would work for me romantically. SLI-Sis don’t have the drive to stay at a certain psychological distance with a person. They like to experience ebb and flow in relations. All part of the experience. I can appreciate it, but I don’t think I could handle it in a relationship as close as marriage, for example. My Mirage partners can be annoying, but due to their temperament they are oriented at stability and consistency - which, IME, allows for the relationship to last longer. Wouldn’t say it makes it better or worse though. Quadra values always come into play somehow.

  11. #11
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    eye of the storm
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    569
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    It's debatable for me, as my tastes and interests vary. The problem with mirage is that I don't have a deep understanding of business logic, so that can be an issue. I would guess that overall SEI is a better match...

    I almost want to add another question: what if you throw moth-and-the-flame into the mix? Would that change your answer?
    Do you mean semidual? Personally I believe I'd prefer semidual to mirage but i have no real life experience to back it up

  12. #12
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    It's debatable for me, as my tastes and interests vary. The problem with mirage is that I don't have a deep understanding of business logic, so that can be an issue. I would guess that overall SEI is a better match...

    I almost want to add another question: what if you throw moth-and-the-flame into the mix? Would that change your answer?
    Personally, I prefer both Mirage and Activity to semi-dual for romance. I used to be attracted to LIEs, but perhaps because of my childlike subtype it never panned out. They are difficult for me to maintain a close distance with - whatever progress we make is easily backspaced without conscious effort on each of our parts to look after each other’s practical needs, which becomes pretty exhausting after not a long while.

    Would it change yours?

  13. #13
    jason_m's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    1,296
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Personally, I prefer both Mirage and Activity to semi-dual for romance. I used to be attracted to LIEs, but perhaps because of my childlike subtype it never panned out. They are difficult for me to maintain a close distance with - whatever progress we make is easily backspaced without conscious effort on each of our parts to look after each other’s practical needs, which becomes pretty exhausting after not a long while.

    Would it change yours?
    They are very tempting to pursue, but I just know I'd get burned by them, as every time I am with them at close distance, it collapses. Therefore I would definitely prefer SEIs and *perhaps* LSEs over them.

  14. #14
    edgy princess eiemo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Location
    a vacuum
    TIM
    no clue
    Posts
    232
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Activity partner. (Note: I am just talking about friendships here).

    The SLEs that I have met seem to be very fun and I tend to have good relationships with them. They are blunt but I like their directness.





  15. #15
    Rebelondeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    1,935
    Mentioned
    165 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I preferred mirage, which I put on the same strength level as semi-duals; most of the LSEs that I've met seemed to have had their own opinions and ambitions while most of the SEIs behaved somewhat like acolytes going with the flow and spouting the opinions of others and avoiding controversial issues. Now, I've butted heads with far more LSEs than SEIs who tend to be far less offensive. However, I prefer to know where I stand with people and SEIs can be rather opaque.

    a.k.a. I/O

  16. #16
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    617
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    Aw, if you find a nice IEI-Fe that's where you would help!
    I hear ya

    I actually agree. Thing is, the SEI-Fe I've been talking to seems knows who she is & what she wants. That works for me.

    The IEI I've noticed don't seem consciously aware of who they are or what they want. They're still kinda figuring things out, which is cool. I just prefer folk who know themselves relatively well. That's just my freaking preference. *Shrugs*

  17. #17
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    eye of the storm
    TIM
    IEI-Ni
    Posts
    569
    Mentioned
    37 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    I hear ya

    I actually agree. Thing is, the SEI-Fe I've been talking to seems knows who she is & what she wants. That works for me.

    The IEI I've noticed don't seem consciously aware of who they are or what they want. They're still kinda figuring things out, which is cool. I just prefer folk who know themselves relatively well. That's just my freaking preference. *Shrugs*
    Fair enough!

  18. #18
    jason_m's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    1,296
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I've thought about it even more: of the three, SEIs are clearly the best:

    EIE: often stand-out attractive, beautiful, especially personality-wise, *but not always easy to get along with.*
    SEI: the nicest, best person of the three - and that's what I need.
    LSE: can be nice, but I don't have business logic, so it isn't really a match.

    - Even EIIs who are not weak in Ti can be good... In this sense, even some Fe egos are a bad match (because they are very weak in Ti) .
    Last edited by jason_m; 05-29-2021 at 01:05 AM.

  19. #19
    jason_m's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    1,296
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    (Both of these are in no particular order)

    Really, this is the formula for what I like:

    - ethical type (especially Fe).
    - not weak in abstract logic.
    - easy to get along with.

    For logical types:

    - skilled in abstract logic (more than simply not weak).
    - easy to get along with.
    - not overly precise or focused on factual information (I do not process this very well...).
    Last edited by jason_m; 05-29-2021 at 08:18 AM.

  20. #20
    Shazaam's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Lamp
    TIM
    AB-IEI-Ni
    Posts
    12,957
    Mentioned
    525 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I don't really know enough LSIs to compare. It's weird. They are actually like very mysterious & exotic to me and shit even though they often talk in this really clear and concise language (lol) & we don't seem to naturally connect much unless I'm forced to interact with them. I usually really like what they say tho, but more from a distance. I find myself getting excited at what they say- which is a bit strange for me because usually people either annoy me or they just bore me. I probably don't know how to process it that well or something idk.

    And yeah I realize I'm ambivalent to a fault which pisses off and/or clashes with SLE because they are like 'let's just do this right now' so bluntly and confidently. Meh. I wish I could be more like that sometimes but I'm just not that type of person. ... I probably troll LSIs this way too in fact. Like the Beta thinking types get really easily annoyed at my extreme indecision and then I get annoyed at everything else because I empathetically absorb their own annoyance with my feeling type powers lol. Then they just get even madder at me for being moody and so we go our own ways. lol /forever alone. gif

    IP and EP are supposed to get along but I've also annoyed an ENFp in this manner.

    I spent the last 7 days doing like 7 different things- and I didn't stick with any one of them with enough seriousness and I'm also constantly doing crap like this. I easily start new things and I have enough confidence to try lots of stuff but I don't really stick with anything to get very good at it though because I'm always changing my mind. I guess it's my own narcissism lol- when I don't feel properly exalted or raptured by something I just hit the reset button hoping next time around it will be the thing I really want. Then I will stupidly make these firm boundaries in my mind about something but then later on completely change my mind about it cuz the feelings have changed lol. But how the fuck did it change? It felt so rigid in stone earlier ugh.

  21. #21
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    617
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    I don't really know enough LSIs to compare. It's weird. They are actually like very mysterious & exotic to me and shit even though they often talk in this really clear and concise language (lol) & we don't seem to naturally connect much unless I'm forced to interact with them. I usually really like what they say tho, but more from a distance. I find myself getting excited at what they say- which is a bit strange for me because usually people either annoy me or they just bore me. I probably don't know how to process it that well or something idk.

    And yeah I realize I'm ambivalent to a fault which pisses off and/or clashes with SLE because they are like 'let's just do this right now' so bluntly and confidently. Meh. I wish I could be more like that sometimes but I'm just not that type of person. ... I probably troll LSIs this way too in fact. Like the Beta thinking types get really easily annoyed at my extreme indecision and then I get annoyed at everything else because I empathetically absorb their own annoyance with my feeling type powers lol. Then they just get even madder at me for being moody and so we go our own ways. lol /forever alone. gif

    IP and EP are supposed to get along but I've also annoyed an ENFp in this manner.

    I spent the last 7 days doing like 7 different things- and I didn't stick with any one of them with enough seriousness and I'm also constantly doing crap like this. I easily start new things and I have enough confidence to try lots of stuff but I don't really stick with anything to get very good at it though because I'm always changing my mind. I guess it's my own narcissism lol- when I don't feel properly exalted or raptured by something I just hit the reset button hoping next time around it will be the thing I really want. Then I will stupidly make these firm boundaries in my mind about something but then later on completely change my mind about it cuz the feelings have changed lol. But how the fuck did it change? It felt so rigid in stone earlier ugh.
    I feel like we SLEs are supposed to take IEI fantasy & make 'em concrete. An IEI dream might be to skate on a lake of ice. A cat like me would immediately locate the place & be sure the IEI skated that f'ing lake. Doesn't matter if skating is your life's calling. What matters is you, for sure, dig skating on a lake that day. Se doms dig Ni resolve but our creative Ti also gets that dreams can often need re-fining.

    IEI being ambivalent ain't ideal (can actually be mildly irritating) but as long as IEI truly believe in the SLE we'll bulldoze walls cuz Se works that way

  22. #22
    StaticMind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Posts
    90
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I’ve been more attracted to my Mirage than activity, tbh I don’t really notice LIIs or even know any besides one.

  23. #23
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    Saskatchewan
    TIM
    SLI-Si 6w5 613 sp/so
    Posts
    2,061
    Mentioned
    93 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Activity by miles. Mirage is the most common type for relationships, whether friendships or dating, but always dislike it. Activity is always rare but most fulfilling when it comes about. Honestly I feel my activity is the only type I can get emotionally close to, where things don't feel artificial or forced or distant.

  24. #24
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LemurianLo View Post
    Activity by miles. Mirage is the most common type for relationships, whether friendships or dating, but always dislike it. Activity is always rare but most fulfilling when it comes about. Honestly I feel my activity is the only type I can get emotionally close to, where things don't feel artificial or forced or distant.
    Awwe. My type being the activator here, I appreciate this.

  25. #25
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    617
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    In a weird ass way, my mirage relation and I do a lot of shit shooting with our intuitive functions. So during a freaking convo, her weak Ne supplies my Ni & visa versa. The polarity of our intuitive functions compliment meaning even ILE/EII can inspire my Ni. Guessing types who view the future excitedly make it interesting

    Goes to show how retarded dual seeking gets, man. Maybe somebody else has ever had a similar experience

  26. #26
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    TIM
    LII-Ne
    Posts
    3,724
    Mentioned
    335 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    In a weird ass way, my mirage relation and I do a lot of shit shooting with our intuitive functions. So during a freaking convo, her weak Ne supplies my Ni & visa versa. The polarity of our intuitive functions compliment meaning even ILE/EII can inspire my Ni. Guessing types who view the future excitedly make it interesting

    Goes to show how retarded dual seeking gets, man. Maybe somebody else has ever had a similar experience
    Yeah, there seems to be a contingent of people that act like duality is the perfect relationship and anything else is a deviation from that, but there's a lot you can get from different types you can't get from your dual. Even in the context of a romantic/sexual relationship, SEIs can be relaxed, fun, and playfully childlike and genuine in a way that ESEs aren't; I really love that about them. EIEs seem to easily "get" how I feel, usually better than I can, and can challenge me psychologically toe-to-toe -- I don't think any other type can do this, and especially not ESEs, who have trouble understanding N ideas, let alone enjoy fighting over them.

    I don't particularly dislike ESEs, and I've really enjoyed talking to them at times, but if I had to choose one person or type I could talk to for the rest of my life, I'm sure I wouldn't choose an ESE. I'm skeptical that duality is necessarily optimal for marriage, but there's definitely a lot more to broader life and social relationships than duality.
    Last edited by FreelancePoliceman; 06-19-2021 at 03:58 PM.
    Views and clicks make these grow.

  27. #27
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    617
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Yeah, there seems to be a contingent of people that act like duality is the perfect relationship and anything else is a deviation from that, but there's a lot you can get from different types you can't get from your dual. Even in the context of a romantic/sexual relationship, SEIs can be relaxed, fun, and playfully childlike and genuine in a way that ESEs aren't; I really love that about them. EIEs seem to easily "get" how I feel, usually better than I can, and can challenge me psychologically toe-to-toe -- I don't think any other type can do this, and especially not ESEs, who have trouble understanding N ideas, let alone enjoy fighting over them.

    I don't particularly dislike ESEs, and I've really enjoyed talking to them at times, but if I had to choose one person or type I could talk to for the rest of my life, I'm sure I wouldn't choose an ESE. I'm skeptical that duality is necessarily optimal for marriage, but there's definitely a lot more to broader life and social relationships that duality.
    Yeah, duality is function complimentary not romance. Figure your function's polarity, then creatively find a compliment. That way, simple yet casual conversations can dualize the psych. In fact, watching an interview could have a dualizing effect on the psych. Once one dualizes the psych, one won't become needy psychologically. That's my take, anyway.

    You've got the concept nailed though, man

  28. #28
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Yeah, there seems to be a contingent of people that act like duality is the perfect relationship and anything else is a deviation from that, but there's a lot you can get from different types you can't get from your dual. Even in the context of a romantic/sexual relationship, SEIs can be relaxed, fun, and playfully childlike and genuine in a way that ESEs aren't; I really love that about them. EIEs seem to easily "get" how I feel, usually better than I can, and can challenge me psychologically toe-to-toe -- I don't think any other type can do this, and especially not ESEs, who have trouble understanding N ideas, let alone enjoy fighting over them.

    I don't particularly dislike ESEs, and I've really enjoyed talking to them at times, but if I had to choose one person or type I could talk to for the rest of my life, I'm sure I wouldn't choose an ESE. I'm skeptical that duality is necessarily optimal for marriage, but there's definitely a lot more to broader life and social relationships than duality.
    I was just about to create a new thread about this topic. Because I've noticed, while your dual is your holistic complement and can get along with you optimally, they don't necessarily understand you or the way you identify with your inert functions. And I was curious as to, what relation other than identity really understands you? LIEs, my semi-duals, somehow seem to understand my mind better than LSEs. I can say a nonsensical phrase and my LIE-Ni cousin will answer me as if I just told him the full sentence that was in my head. My LSE-Si cousin is pleasant to interact with, but conversing with her there is a palpable disconnect in why what is important to the other person is so. There is a closer psychological distance with her than with LIE, and in the moment we accurately gauge and respond to each other's motives; but on paper, it doesn't make any sense where these motives come from and we are left thinking the other person is just kind of weird.

    I remember this happening when I excitedly introduced my SLI best friend to my IEE best friend. They got along seamlessly, but afterward were confused as to how that even occurred with such obvious differences between the two. Perhaps it's a result of accessing one's weakest and most unconscious functions that they normally never think about.
    Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 06-19-2021 at 07:25 PM.

  29. #29
    The Chosen Prophet. Braingel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
    TIM
    IEI-Fe So4w5, 461
    Posts
    2,440
    Mentioned
    168 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Yeah, there seems to be a contingent of people that act like duality is the perfect relationship and anything else is a deviation from that, but there's a lot you can get from different types you can't get from your dual. Even in the context of a romantic/sexual relationship, SEIs can be relaxed, fun, and playfully childlike and genuine in a way that ESEs aren't; I really love that about them. EIEs seem to easily "get" how I feel, usually better than I can, and can challenge me psychologically toe-to-toe -- I don't think any other type can do this, and especially not ESEs, who have trouble understanding N ideas, let alone enjoy fighting over them.

    I don't particularly dislike ESEs, and I've really enjoyed talking to them at times, but if I had to choose one person or type I could talk to for the rest of my life, I'm sure I wouldn't choose an ESE. I'm skeptical that duality is necessarily optimal for marriage, but there's definitely a lot more to broader life and social relationships than duality.
    Agree wholeheartedly. Most people probably do not even marry their dual..
    I am in my head; not society.

    Yes, that is who I am, hence the bold am.​ Also, a brain angel. (But Zelda's incarnate too).


    My thoughts align with action to succeed what needs…


    Dragons:

    Babies, click them to make them grow up into Kara’s Dragon Museum





    My favorite adult Museum Exhibits

  30. #30
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    What part of you do you want to be understood exactly? You seem to talk about your Ne/Ni, but a type isn't only about the creative.

    Duals definitely don't work like you at all, so as far as understanding what for example Se-Polr or Ne-creative feels like, well, I don't think that LSE can really empathize or comprehend. Duals are complimentary opposites; the point of that relationship is not to 'understand' one another, but to support, accept and appreciate someone unconditionally, to feel secure and to have 'basic functioning' expectations being met, and that is worth one's weight in gold in close relationships imo.

    But as said above, there are advantages to other relationships also. It's a balance. Are you ready to sacrifice comfort and security(no one to protect you against Se) for understanding, growth and work on your creative/demonstrative? Then semi-duality can be nice for example. If you're ready to sacrifice some of your basic expectations(no suggestive) and not being accepted unconditionally(mirage view each other as silly) in order to gain self-growth, self-awareness and more comprehension? Then mirage is pretty nice. If you're ok with less comfort(no protection of Polr, different life rythms)and less aligned priorities(rational/irrational ) in exchange for more fun action & outward orientation, then activity is nice too!

    About activity: LSE seem to superficially deal with Si & Fi stuff the same way I do, but this kind of 'kinship' feels more like we commiserate together rather than support each other. SLI & EII have inert Fi so their Fi feels more like 'I'm doing my duty by being there for you' rather than 'I'm doing a U-turn in my personal affections because I feel like something's wrong' like LSE and IEE might do. Having the inert pendant to your contact creative seems to give it an achor and stabilize it.


    My 2 cents
    I like this breakdown. What I wrote was not to suggest I preferred another intertype over duality; simply to state that I feel my duals and I are of such different polarities when it comes to information elements, that forming an emotional bond based on a mutual sense of innate connection or empathy...well, it’s something I haven’t figured out how to do with LSEs. I’m a person for whom static emotional bonds carry meaning beyond simply being a convenient partner for someone. I say that because most of the LSEs I have gotten along with have seemed to view me as a convenient presence, and not much else. I feel I would have less of this issue with LSEs who have sx in either first or second position in instinctual stacking, but I haven’t met many.
    Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 06-19-2021 at 10:43 PM.

  31. #31
    Lincatrope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2021
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    55
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Opinions? While my activators are in my quadra and I very much enjoy their company, the rational/irrational issue inevitably causes conflict at some point. I don't always get along with my Mirages, but the ones with whom I do become reliable companions for me.
    same, I like the mirages, have a respect but I get along much better with activity, sometimes the activity almost seem like a dual, I guess it must have to do with strong subtypes, I'm not sure.

    Wait, don't you mean "mirror relations"? Mirrage relations (or illusionary relations) are not from the same quadra, so it wouldn't make sense to compare I guess.

  32. #32
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lincatrope View Post
    Wait, don't you mean "mirror relations"? Mirrage relations (or illusionary relations) are not from the same quadra, so it wouldn't make sense to compare I guess.
    No; my Mirages are my favorite companions behind my duals, LSEs. Unhealthy ones can be hell, but I prefer (healthy) ESEs over both SLIs (my activators) and IEEs (my mirrors). Disagreements with them due to quadra values are inevitable, but there is less competition than in Mirror and less temperament-related dissonance than in Activity.

  33. #33
    Too lazy to write much qaz00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    TIM
    SLI-Te
    Posts
    548
    Mentioned
    20 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Mirage: easy to start, good connection and understanding in conversations, differences in goals that become apparent with time, entertaining but not inspiring, "what do they give me really?"
    Activity: no initial drag, "a nice person but what am I supposed to do with that?", very valuable opinions but not flexible enough in thinking, misunderstandings are common

    It's a tie so far.

  34. #34
    Stray Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    617
    Mentioned
    83 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by qaz00 View Post
    Mirage: easy to start, good connection and understanding in conversations, differences in goals that become apparent with time, entertaining but not inspiring, "what do they give me really?"
    Activity: no initial drag, "a nice person but what am I supposed to do with that?", very valuable opinions but not flexible enough in thinking, misunderstandings are common

    It's a tie so far.
    Sounds like you're more focused on what the person can do for you than who the person actually is or how beneficial the person is to society around them.

  35. #35
    setting your soul on fire pandemic candy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    Location
    timeless traveler
    TIM
    clown™
    Posts
    444
    Mentioned
    28 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    Sounds like you're more focused on what the person can do for you than who the person actually is or how beneficial the person is to society around them.
    I think it's just Te-cognition language
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” John 3:16


    As a dream when one awakest so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image

  36. #36
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    452
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Recently reunited with my SLI friend; and while so much time had passed, we picked up on each other’s behavior so naturally. We had a lovely time, and yet I was reminded of why I don’t think I could marry an activator. She is the 1Si subtype to my 1Ne, the sp/sx to my sx/so, the enneagram 1 to my 4...one of the best friends I have ever had; but while we can be understanding and supportive toward one another, we quite miss the mark when it comes to protecting one another. One of us has delayed reactions to the problems of the other, and it’s stressful. We can live together but we can’t lean into one another for our needs, because sometimes the other needs the same thing - the mobility of an extrovert.

    I recognize the need of ESEs for Ti but cannot supply it, and that is the main problem in our dynamic. However, the support we receive from one another on perceiving functions is such that we don’t have to force ourselves to demonstrate more strength in sensitive functions than we have to offer - one of my least favorite aspects of Activity (and also Semi-duality). Mutual weakness in logic that I have with my Mirages (specifically ESE-Si) feels like an annoying fly that periodically buzzes into our otherwise great picnic, but from my POV it’s a minor inconvenience to work through as compared to the constant accumulation of tension that has to be discharged in Activity. I think if I were base-subtype, it would likely bother me more.

    I agree that if you are looking for someone with a viewpoint more similar to yours, Activity > Mirage. For me, my priority is finding a partner with whom I can have a stable relationship, because my goal is a safe environment to bring children into. Activity is a high-energy pair that cares for each other deeply, and most of the activity marriages I have observed have been very stable; but not a single one of my relations with SLIs have ever possessed that stability I appreciate in my relations with ESEs.
    Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 07-22-2021 at 09:06 PM.

  37. #37
    hardR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2021
    TIM
    SLE-Ti
    Posts
    41
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    EIEs are ugly af. SEIs are hot and they have a much better personalities. lol jk (kind of)

    I prefer SEIs because they are compatible in temperament. EIEs are high strung and that Se HA is too try hard for me. I prefer a compliant and demure SEI any day.

  38. #38
    Seed my wickedness PseudoRandomBSGenerator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Spontaneous Human Combustion
    TIM
    ILE LEVF/#unfit4lyfe
    Posts
    7,075
    Mentioned
    304 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    My mirage seems to like that I'm something that I find exhausting but I suppose ESE's are similar in the end and it is just less obvious (I don't really like to have hardass result negativist logic shared by LII's and SLE's).
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type
    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

  39. #39
    The Evening and the Morning Star Eudaimonia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    TIM
    EIE
    Posts
    2,349
    Mentioned
    115 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I would say my activity is more attractive to me, I have had relationships with that type often.
    “Preferiría no hacerlo”

  40. #40
    Hux's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    TIM
    LSI 8w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    60
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think subtypes may influence preferences - I would 100% prefer my activity partners, my closest friend is IEI and they're way more compatible with me compared to the LIE's I've met. Although I still find LIEs pretty cool, we just can't get along as well since they can seem too blunt or provocative to me, not in the way I prefer (beta vs gamma victim)

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •