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Thread: Is this really an ILE thing?

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    MidnightWilderness's Avatar
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    Default Is this really an ILE thing?

    Do all ILEs try to cheer up people by telling them silly jokes that aren't connected to anything?

    I told someone that I found it really annoying that whenever I was sad my ILE bf would try to cheer me up by making this silly joke out of nowhere and that it ruined my mood further. Then she said that she had an ILE friend that did the same thing, and that SEIs like when ILEs do this because they are Ne seeking negativists.

    Please say no...

    Or at least, is it curable?


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    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
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    Making jokes is what they always do! It's relatively rare IME for an ILE to tell a joke to make someone feel better; mostly they tell jokes because they want to tell jokes. But if you can see that your ILE is actively trying to show consideration for your feelings, that's pretty good for an ILE!

    I'm not sure SEIs do tend to like it very much. There seems to be often a perception here that duals don't tend to annoy each other, but SEIs seem often pretty annoyed by ILEs. Maybe the conflict keeps their relationships interesting for them, lol.

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    MidnightWilderness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Making jokes is what they always do! It's relatively rare IME for an ILE to tell a joke to make someone feel better; mostly they tell jokes because they want to tell jokes. But if you can see that your ILE is actively trying to show consideration for your feelings, that's pretty good for an ILE!

    I'm not sure SEIs do tend to like it very much. There seems to be often a perception here that duals don't tend to annoy each other, but SEIs seem often pretty annoyed by ILEs. Maybe the conflict keeps their relationships interesting for them, lol.
    Well my experience is different because I am in a relationship, you usually care about each other's feelings that way, regardless of whether you are a logician or not. Just ethical types are better with handling and being less clumsy with feelings. I am fairly sure SEIs don't enjoy relationship conflict like that, conflict makes the relationship unstable and awkward most times. Duals annoy each other because they are only loosely similar, in most aspects they can come off quite differently due to different functions. Sometimes I cringe because my boyfriend can't understand ethical things at all, but I learned to accept that I can't change that. I bet he cringes too when I don't understand something logical.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MidnightWilderness View Post
    Well my experience is different because I am in a relationship, you usually care about each other's feelings that way, regardless of whether you are a logician or not.
    Lol. You'd hope that would be the case, but I knew a couple of ILEs who got in relationships during their teenage years. My impression was that they seemed annoyed by their girlfriends most of the time, but got especially annoyed whenever they felt their girlfriends wanted emotion or care (on the other hand, I know at least one ILE/SEI marriage that seems fairly loving on both ends). My impression is that ILEs can often be a little callous in that area.

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    That stuff is usually improvisational. It kind of has to connect with mental map and also the reactivity map they have collected or want to test further.

    When my IEI sister broke up with her boyfriend I said something that totally devalued all human relationships she was cool with it... others were not.
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    I think I'm turning japanese I think I'm turning japanese I really think so

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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    I think I'm turning japanese I think I'm turning japanese I really think so
    Hikikomori eh?
    ''So sanity is acceptance of the appearance and at the same time awareness that what we think we have to accept is never really how things are.''

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    Hikikomori eh?
    Wow rude

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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    Wow rude
    I didn't mean to *withrdaws*
    ''So sanity is acceptance of the appearance and at the same time awareness that what we think we have to accept is never really how things are.''

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    Yes it's an ILE thing. No it's not curable.

    Although like mentioned before it's not like they're trying to make you feel better or anything (baka!) they may be just shitposting out loud (as always) and not reading the mood. But maybe about 35% of the time they're genuinely trying to make you feel better but since ILE are non-deterministic you can't really tell when this is the case

    If you have a problem with the unreliability and general emotional immaturity of ILE you may want to consider another type. Somehow I find that SEI often hide their negative emotions in fear of ruining the mood. But mostly I met 2E SEI so not really sure. What I mean is that an awkward situation like that where you seek consolation from ILE probably shouldn't happen in the first place if you are SEI. Fi-POLRs are a bit selfish and sympathize poorly (they find it easy to empathize but hard to sympathize), so moments like those where people demonstrate sadness or start crying are extremely awkward for them. In my case when someone breaks into tears I just freeze and stare like an idiot because I feel that I'll make it worse by saying something stupid when trying to console them (it's happened before).

    At any rate logical types are not emotionally reliable or don't read the mood as well. I could see just about any logical type saying dumb crap at the wrong time. Since they are attuned primarily to logic and systems, not to emotions and people. Back to your original question, my final answer is: it's more about emotional maturity and not type-related.

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