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Thread: What motivates you?

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    Default What motivates you?

    This could mean to work, to pursue your goals, to live...

    And what are your overall motives in life?

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    I think I'm motivated by my need to meet the needs and expectations of others. I assume that this was ingrained in me during my childhood, but I really don't like where it has taken me, nor the effect that it has on me.

    I think I must be strongly inner-conflicted, like a person with passive-aggression, while not, exactly, having passive aggression myself. Instead, I am controlled by other's needs, but I have a very strong need in turn to not be controlled, which manifests as me testing as an e8.

    Basically, I will agree to do certain things for people, and then will drag my feet on finishing them. I happen to be very good at doing some things, so people tend to cut me some slack on my performance, but the problem remains. I'm still working for other people, rather than myself.

    I have a very hard time saying "No" to requests, again, because I wasn't allowed to say "No" to my mother. (I've dived pretty deeply into my mental psychosis, and I think this is the correct reason.) The best that I can do is to make those requests be very expensive for the requestor, either in time or in money.

    I feel like I need to break free of the chains that bind me, and to only do exactly what I want to do. That's my goal, but I don't think I've ever met anyone who has actually reached that state. At least, not for long. Those people tend to go out in a hail of gunfire.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I think I'm motivated by my need to meet the needs and expectations of others. I assume that this was ingrained in me during my childhood, but I really don't like where it has taken me, nor the effect that it has on me.

    I think I must be strongly inner-conflicted, like a person with passive-aggression, while not, exactly, having passive aggression myself. Instead, I am controlled by other's needs, but I have a very strong need in turn to not be controlled, which manifests as me testing as an e8.

    Basically, I will agree to do certain things for people, and then will drag my feet on finishing them. I happen to be very good at doing some things, so people tend to cut me some slack on my performance, but the problem remains. I'm still working for other people, rather than myself.

    I have a very hard time saying "No" to requests, again, because I wasn't allowed to say "No" to my mother. (I've dived pretty deeply into my mental psychosis, and I think this is the correct reason.) The best that I can do is to make those requests be very expensive for the requestor, either in time or in money.

    I feel like I need to break free of the chains that bind me, and to only do exactly what I want to do. That's my goal, but I don't think I've ever met anyone who has actually reached that state. At least, not for long. Those people tend to go out in a hail of gunfire.
    The opposite end is going out with a faint whisper. Ultimately you either successfully reach your goals or you attempt but fail in a hail of gunfire, or you die a silent death with nothing to look back on, no achievements and no improvement. You have to figure out all the ways it could go badly and then just avoid them, and try not to listen to your inner critic, or just be unafraid of failure and dive in headfirst. The last option is preferable if doubts make you hesitate too much.

    There are people who manage to do what they only want in life, but it takes a lot of grit and soldiering to get there, to be able to have a spine and self confidence and independence is not something that comes easy. Especially when you have childhood problems that set patterns into your behavior.

    But... [insert cheesy and cringy motivational quote]

    You just have to believe that your goals are possible to achieve and start working on them.

    Although hell, why even listen to me at this point? Figure it out yourself. That's the first step.

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    Nothing.
    I say that with sincerity. The only way for me to get "motivated" is through spontaneity. Operant conditioning has never worked on me and I have always been extremely mellow in a way. I guess I have always been a sort of go-with-the-flow sort of person if that makes sense. In socionics terms I suppose this translates to being irrational, extremely so in my case. Or maybe it's the Ni+ that does this? Everything that people approach with skepticism and cynicism I approach with nonchalance. Essentially, I don't mind however things turn out, and thus do not really set goals.

    I remember recently I was hiking on someone's ranch (trespassing, which I did not realize until I was in the middle of their fucking land) and I heard the sounds of an atv which was clearly following me. I could have ran for my life or ducked and hid, but nah. I just kept walking without a damn care in the world despite knowing these ranchers probably had a boner thinking about shooting the person who was making muddy footprints on their sacred ranch. I figured I would just keep walking as I had been and would sweet-talk them if they found me. They never found me despite tailing me for 2 hours, which I figured would happen. Maybe IEIs are naturally "unmotivated" because they don't really need to be? IEIs probably, more so than any other type, get themselves into situations where they don’t need to have motivation. It could just be one of my idiosyncrasies though.
    Last edited by Djinn; 05-15-2021 at 01:57 PM.

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    It's a little hard for me to answer this question because it feels like one of those vague moral things to me kinda. I'm motivated- by a lot of little things. I like being liked- and I like to be hated even more. I'm motivated by conflict and adversary. I'm motivated by writing, and all good writing is about having a conflict.

    I'm not really motivated by competition though. It's hard for me to get into something if I know it's going to be judged by some Te tier lens or whatever- even if I'm naturally very good at it.

    Emotional honesty motivates me- I like knowing how people really feel about something so I can exploit that for my own amusement.

    I'm motivated by sugary Fe pop songs designed by the homosexual agenda and for Gay people like me- but that's just more of a preference than a 'motivation' I think?


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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    It's a little hard for me to answer this question because it feels like one of those vague moral things to me kinda. I'm motivated- by a lot of little things. I like being liked- and I like to be hated even more. I'm motivated by conflict and adversary. I'm motivated by writing, and all good writing is about having a conflict.

    I'm not really motivated by competition though. It's hard for me to get into something if I know it's going to be judged by some Te tier lens or whatever- even if I'm naturally very good at it.

    Emotional honesty motivates me- I like knowing how people really feel about something so I can exploit that for my own amusement.

    I'm motivated by sugary Fe pop songs designed by the homosexual agenda and for Gay people like me- but that's just more of a preference than a 'motivation' I think?

    It can't be a moral question because it isn't asking you whether x y or z is good or bad, besides your motivations and motives could be immoral or moral or in the grey. It is vague though.

    Good writing is about conflict and then the motives of each character in the conflict, and why are they conflicting, what they want to achieve eventually and why. Conflict without reason makes the story weak.

    Sorry I am kind of dumping my opinions and I think you already knew that.

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    Ultimately, it’s a combination of making a positive difference in the world and also enjoying the world, trying to get to a point where I feel mentally healthy enough/ get enough sleep, work/ life balance etc so that I can feel peace and contentment at points throughout the week. I feel motivated by close friends at the moment but if I had a partner I would feel motivated by them/for them as well. Spending time with those people is when I feel most alive. It would be nice to earn some more money so that I could have a more comfortable life to pay for some simple luxuries..

    If you’ve ever seen the movie ‘The Tree of Life’, there are these flash back scenes of a guy looking back on his life with his wife and kids. It’s more like memories than flash backs, everything sort of swirls and is very sensory and is carefully selected and framed elegantly. It reminds you of your own memories and how some of them are in much higher definition than others. I think the guy actually feels regret about some things but the point of the movie is to show that we can make our own heaven on earth or something (haven’t seen it in a while). I’m motivated by trying to make my day to day life feel like those clips in the movie, like I’m in a deep, soulful, silly movie that I have some control over. I randomly live in a nice area with lots of happy looking families- their lives look quite nice to me. Also totally motivated by the next rave I get to attend so I can dance with open-minded, open-hearted people who like silly, mad, bad ass music that reflects their personalities and reminds me that people are out there in the world doing their thing and so should I

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    After brief consideration it seems that I am motivated by fear-mongering thoughts about losing comfort and I might be working on this

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    My true will is realizing my higher self.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalinoche buenanoche View Post
    After brief consideration it seems that I am motivated by fear-mongering thoughts about losing comfort and I might be working on this
    Are you more motivated by fear of losing comfort (Si) or by fear of possibly missing out (Ni)?

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    The Higher Self guides and empowers stadiums of giga complex wheels and fear turned into galactic sized penetration to dig the dinosaur and put the pace of god on new ice and time bombs of the ornamental nexus clue.

    There is a treasure beyond compare waiting for us in the spider web of planning until the threads of fate unwind the most well printed will that we would allow after we drown out the corruption of our more subconscious thoughts.

    By realizing our true potential, and breaking free of physical domination, we spread the blanket of tea cups and weather spoons all the way to inscriptions of the Egyptians with aliens. We can then follow those clues to the Star Forge in our constellation's heritage. Not that it really would work, but the quest goes on, for new worlds, new exhibits, and new arenas beckoning us to prove our mastery, building and scheming, winning and gaming!! They told us we were never going to get it, but we took it on the road.*
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    I struggle with getting out of my comfort zone, too. It is easy to keep doing what I've been doing, and then I look back and ten years have gone by and I have nothing significant to show for it.

    I want to do things, lots of things, but some of them are becoming impossible (not gonna win the 100 yard dash in the Olympics) and some are questionable (do I really need another, bigger house?) and some are stupid (do I really want to work more just to benefit other people?).

    It's hard for me to get my priorities right, and I blame low Fi. Lol.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 05-19-2021 at 09:44 PM.

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    Problematic stuff to think and tinker with.
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    The fact that summer will come back around and I can sunbathe.
    If they ever tryna neck, I'll put my foot up in your caca
    Call your mama and your papa
    Like I'm finna take your dadda
    Turn that bitch into a soccer ball and rocka, rocka, rocka (brrr)
    Get into it like a suit
    And fuck a stack up like a broker

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    Clearing the planet. Living a worthwhile life. Becoming the man I wish to be. Making my ideals a reality. Having a great adventure.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LemurianLo View Post
    Clearing the planet. Living a worthwhile life. Becoming the man I wish to be. Making my ideals a reality. Having a great adventure.
    clearing the planet?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    clearing the planet?
    https://www.scientology.org/faq/scie...anet-mean.html

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    Oh lawd. You weren’t joking.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    Oh lawd. You weren’t joking.
    Course not. You didn't read my profile description? As much a Scientologist as Eliza is Catholic or as Band is gay. I work for the church as my primary career/profession ergo why clearing the planet is a motivation for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LemurianLo View Post
    Course not. You didn't read my profile description? As much a Scientologist as Eliza is Catholic or as Band is gay. I work for the church as my primary career/profession ergo why clearing the planet is a motivation for me.
    I see. What’s it like working for the Church of Scientology?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    I see. What’s it like working for the Church of Scientology?
    It's amazing. The amount of confront and responsibility you get to have is incredible, unlike anywhere else. I'll be an executive in Europe next year after I finish 6 months training, already been awarded the promotion, just need to finish contract to current city first, as you sign with specific locations, not with the church in general.

    It really is so fulfilling to work somewhere where you know you're making a huge difference in peoples lives and can see it directly every single day. No amount of money would make me ever give that up.

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    Wish I knew.
    It's such an elusive mistress, and I don't always recognize her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by flowers and sugar View Post
    Wish I knew.
    It's such an elusive mistress, and I don't always recognize her.
    This :/

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    Quote Originally Posted by LemurianLo View Post
    It's amazing. The amount of confront and responsibility you get to have is incredible, unlike anywhere else. I'll be an executive in Europe next year after I finish 6 months training, already been awarded the promotion, just need to finish contract to current city first, as you sign with specific locations, not with the church in general.

    It really is so fulfilling to work somewhere where you know you're making a huge difference in peoples lives and can see it directly every single day. No amount of money would make me ever give that up.
    If you're getting that much out of it, I'm genuinely happy for you — truly. As for myself, joining the church of Scientology feels like joining the Borg Collective. No offense.

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    I don't really see myself as motivated unless it's to honor obligations and to secure comfort and stability/security.

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    I am generally motivated by security, anxiety, intrinsic drive, the people around me and pure spite.

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    Idk...in my younger days I was motivated by wonder. things were magical, even into my teens. I was driven by curiosity and I generally wanted to understand people, myself, the world, and how everything works. History, art, culture, fashion gripped me and pushed me forward. But slowly, things started loosing their sparkle. I slowed down and looked around and everything was becoming redundant. Everything seemed harder, more complicated. I began thinking that living was just trying to waste time before you died. Some people call it an existential crisis. Well that’s exactly what I started feeling in my early 20’s. Then I literally started reading books about existentialism that I think further dulled any motivation I had. I feel like this life is all I have until nothingness, so I better try to enjoy it while I’m here, as pointless as anything I do seems. Drive, I have little. I have to find things, anchors, to distract myself from the feeling of pointlessness I experience. what do I do? I’m a consumer. I buy shit that I don’t need that makes me happy. Temporarily. And I read anything I’m curious about. I don’t care about outer career success, I care more about my bubble I live it and making it fantastical. It seems more important to me. I guess I also crave connection with people, because I don’t want to feel alone, I suppose. I’m sure if you stripped me of my comforts, it could get a lot more archaic. Food and survival and all that. And maybe that id a societal problem. We aren’t fighting for that but twiddling our fingers overthinking things.
    idk lol
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    omg I think it’s awesome @LemurianLo is a Scientologist. I had no idea. I’ve never known anyone that was before, that I knew of. This is kind of exciting

    I feel like I just came a crossed a breed of bird I’ve never seen before in the wild, only heard of, or have have seen on tv. But it’s been there all along, and I’m just now realizing it
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    Refurbishing my anger ultraviolet toucan sam mexican paint party is how I feel the colors of the wind here in Virginia, where I seek mountains again Gandalf, mountains!*
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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    omg I think it’s awesome @LemurianLo is a Scientologist. I had no idea. I’ve never known anyone that was before, that I knew of. This is kind of exciting

    I feel like I just came a crossed a breed of bird I’ve never seen before in the wild, only heard of, or have have seen on tv. But it’s been there all along, and I’m just now realizing it
    I feel like a unicorn lol Yup, the forum's residential Scientologist! You probably have met a few before but most tend to be quiet about beliefs, especially since the church doesn't require an all in mindset to be a Scientologist. You can be a Christian who has troubles handling work, so you read a single book, the Problems of Work to handle that issue, apply the data to your life, and do nothing more than that with Scientology and you'll be regarded as a Scientologist in the eyes of everyone in the church. But us staff members tend to have such a high dedication to the church that we just can't stop talking about it at all lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    Idk...in my younger days I was motivated by wonder. things were magical, even into my teens. I was driven by curiosity and I generally wanted to understand people, myself, the world, and how everything works. History, art, culture, fashion gripped me and pushed me forward. But slowly, things started loosing their sparkle. I slowed down and looked around and everything was becoming redundant. Everything seemed harder, more complicated. I began thinking that living was just trying to waste time before you died. Some people call it an existential crisis. Well that’s exactly what I started feeling in my early 20’s. Then I literally started reading books about existentialism that I think further dulled any motivation I had. I feel like this life is all I have until nothingness, so I better try to enjoy it while I’m here, as pointless as anything I do seems. Drive, I have little. I have to find things, anchors, to distract myself from the feeling of pointlessness I experience. what do I do? I’m a consumer. I buy shit that I don’t need that makes me happy. Temporarily. And I read anything I’m curious about. I don’t care about outer career success, I care more about my bubble I live it and making it fantastical. It seems more important to me. I guess I also crave connection with people, because I don’t want to feel alone, I suppose. I’m sure if you stripped me of my comforts, it could get a lot more archaic. Food and survival and all that. And maybe that id a societal problem. We aren’t fighting for that but twiddling our fingers overthinking things.
    idk lol
    Out of curiosity, how sure are you in your type? I ask because what you've said sounds more EII to me, if you're still considering it, for what that's worth.

    Anyway, are you OK continuing to sedate yourself like this? Or are you saying you wish you could stop?

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    I'm way too idealistic lifestyle wise, which is why I only follow processes now. Maybe even the process of life itself, the way it goes from here... to someplace else. And so on and so forth.

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    A recent epiphany. For all my life I've asked God for X,Y, and Z. I was actually wrong to do this. Instead, I ought to have asked him to glorify himself through myself/my life. In doing so recently I have been more than pleasantly surprised .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Megan A View Post
    I'm way too idealistic lifestyle wise, which is why I only follow processes now. Maybe even the process of life itself, the way it goes from here... to someplace else. And so on and so forth.

    What do you mean by following processes? As opposed to what?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    What do you mean by following processes? As opposed to what?
    In general just living with a lot of unfulfilled hopes and even dreams that aren't going to be realized. Like if they're not beneficial to me survival wise then I just discard them. Probably what most people do.

    Processes as in wisdom from various people. Philosophies and ways of doing things, truths. They at least offer me a sensible way to live.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Megan A View Post
    In general just living with a lot of unfulfilled hopes and even dreams that aren't going to be realized. Like if they're not beneficial to me survival wise then I just discard them. Probably what most people do.

    Processes as in wisdom from various people. Philosophies and ways of doing things, truths. They at least offer me a sensible way to live.
    What sort of wisdom/philosophies/ways of doing things/truths do you find useful?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    What sort of wisdom/philosophies/ways of doing things/truths do you find useful?
    Well basically all the stuff I do are centered on that.

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    Madeline Miller, author of Song of Achilles and Circe. Re-reading these. EIE perfection, Van Gogh levels.


    Poetry- Socionics made me realise it’s not as hard as I always thought. (Reading and also trying to write a bit of my own).


    Recovery from mental illness (I get a second chance that some people don’t get to have). The worst thing about being unwell was not being alone and unhappy and stressed and ashamed and scared. It was feeling like I lost my creative faculties. I don’t mean being creative, making art etc although I did lose that too. I mean, I felt like I was incapable of having opinions of my own (or unconfident in them) and that I was incapable of learning theories (intellectual theories I suppose) and seeing how they connected.


    Socionics- realising I have all the potential of an IEI inside me, which no one ever seemed to appreciate before At least now I can


    Beauty of Nature- feeling connected to it, and how it binds people together through their collective sense of awe and the fact it belongs to everyone.


    The hope of meeting someone (with good ITR).


    The hope of having a child one day or if not being an aunt. I think I’d enjoy it.


    LIIs. I enjoy reading your posts very much. @Sol, I also like your posts The forum, in general. As long as I don’t get unhealthily addicted or attached.


    My colleagues. They really care about doing good work, which helps people. It makes me feel happy.


    Making more money so I can save up money in case I need to pay people to visit me when I’m old and bored. I’m not sure how this would work- I just know I would need visitors. Old age sounds like being in permanent lock down (I mean if you’re too old or unwell to leave the house).
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 06-06-2021 at 10:28 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Out of curiosity, how sure are you in your type? I ask because what you've said sounds more EII to me, if you're still considering it, for what that's worth.

    Anyway, are you OK continuing to sedate yourself like this? Or are you saying you wish you could stop?
    thanks. Ohh well I haven’t really thought about it in a while. I know some people get into socionics for the duality aspect, but my husband and I have been together for 18 years. My pull here was mainly an interest in people’s personalities. If I’m going to be honest, I’ve always gotten along with most people. you could plop me about anywhere and I’d manage to get along with people and try to play peacemaker between them, or just keep to myself. when you are like this, it’s a bit hard to use socionics intertype, imo. Also, I don’t think I’m all that neurotypical (I’ve been diagnosed with MDD, OCD, GAD, & ADHD). In some ways I seem rational and some way I don’t At this point, I think the biggest thing I’m getting from all this is understanding my kids (whose personalities are all pretty different) better, values, and who they may have the best relationships with, in a logical opposed to ethical light. It’s just a different way of looking at things that interests me. After I consulted Gulenko, and he gave me a type, I haven’t really thought too much on it tbh, I mainly just get on here and post from the heart and throw the type he gave me in the mix, if the situation calls for it lol I do also use it with IR trying to figure out other people’s types and honestly, depending on perception, I think someone could make an argument for me being any of the introverted ethical types. So idk. Lol what did you think seemed EII about it? You don’t have to elaborate if it’s not a thing you can put into words, because I get that. Just curious.

    And I guess as for the sedating, I’ve figured out how to survive. It’s a personal survival mechanism. I think it may be a common one. I’m not really bothered by it. As long as I feel a pull of curiosity or drive towards things that generally interest me, I think I’m ok. It’s if I don’t, and become untethered into nothingness, that I would find myself SOL , and that scares me more than anything. And I feel that’s what the very bottom of depression would be like.
    ♓︎ 𝓅𝒾𝓈𝒸𝑒𝓈 ♓︎ 𝓅𝒾𝓈𝒸𝑒𝓈
    ♍︎ 𝓋𝒾𝓇𝑔𝑜 𝓇𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔 ♍︎

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    The love of pleasure, the fear of pain--these motivate me most of all. Other than that, a desire to uncover the mysteries of the cosmos as well as get a reaction--hopefully a favorable one, even if it comes at the cost of my dignity--out of people.

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