Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: How do u relate to different instinctual zones?

  1. #1
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    TIM
    IEI 417
    Posts
    511
    Mentioned
    31 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default How do u relate to different instinctual zones?

    What's your stacking and how do you relate to each area? Do you experience any distortions?

    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...notes-sp-so-sx :


    Self preservation
    1) Health and Well being - Health, rest, exercise, hygiene, attending to the needs of the body. Becomes distorted as excessive exercise and dieting, eating disorders, trying too hard to be healthy. Or comfort over development, a kind of numb nesting, eating junk food, not sleeping, poor sleeping habits, addiction to alcohol, ect.

    2) Practical know-how - How to attend to practical affairs of living, liking the basics of life, maintenance, repair, adaptability to circumstance, ability to work, to put one's affairs in order, to handle the necessities of our world. Distortion is workaholism or people who can't get to work (don't necessarily mean job), can't take care of themselves.

    3) Domesticity - maintaining a home, a foundation, a base or nest from which pursuing one's passions and callings can be supported. Distortion is the Nest/Tomb, never leaving the home, can't get out, hoarding, purging, or excessively rigid about structures and routines - house has to be spotless, must be in bed at certain time, eat certain foods, control of regularity.

    Sexual
    1) Edge/Aggression/ Pushing the envelope - Moving towards what draws you energetically, drive towards what is exciting and interesting, element of risk, of overcoming boundaries, destructive. Salmon swimming upstream to [blocked due to guideline #4 violation] and die. Most aggressive version of their type. There's an element of risk and exhaustion. Jealousy and Competition, over-aggression, over-spending energy, can be heartless, this is hunter-prey dynamic. Everything else sidelined. Recklessness.

    2) Broadcasting/Charisma - Display, broadcasting one's energy and reading the energy of others (not attunement - that is social, this is "where's the juice?"), phallic sending out signals of one's "feathers", what one is all about. Trying to intrigue and being intrigued. Peacocking. *this is not being aware of the other, attuned, connected or bonded*. Where the other "is at" is social. Projecting energy, trying to attract, "feelers" out looking for the juice. Trying to draw you in, like energetic "pheromones".

    3) Immersion/Fusion - completely absorbed, immersion, not just in others but in passions. without the heart center it becomes spiraling, self-absorption, tends to mix with narcissistic issues, tries to resolve left over childhood b.s. Male mantis being eaten by females, male spiders being eaten by females. The question is what do I fusing with? You don't fuse with just anything (there's a picky-ness here... hunter waits for prey... finding the right game, the perfect mate, the right spark. It's not connection. There is a specific intelligence to the attraction, see my example below of plagues and arranged marriages), the nature of the attraction-immersion is that there is a specific something that draws attraction and immersion is sought in.

    Social
    1) Reading and Adapting - Discerning and reading people's emotions, states, mirroring, how to 'plug in' with people, connecting to where someone is, not what you need from them but where they really are. Learning, adapting new behaviors - when you have a child, you need to be able to learn new behaviors and accommodate them in your life.
    Distortion - back and fourth on participation and support, staying connected in crap relationships for fear of sabotaging being plugged in. Fear of banishment. Losing identity. Going overboard to maintain relationships and overboard in reactions to relationships.
    (*Discussion on Autism as the very lack of this capacity, with additional compensating mental capacities. One of the women in the group is a researcher at Johns Hopkins who studies Autism in children. Difficulty in sensory integration in autism, not able to take in info of the environment because there is too much, unable to make meaningful connections because too much data. This Zone is that capacity to discern, to plug in, to connect.)

    2) Bonding and Affiliating - Create and sustain connection and to know the appropriate nature of the bond. Co-dependency is a way we don't listen to the social instinct.
    Distortion - group merging. groups merging around particular ideas on small and large scales. Individualism fails. Nazi German. Smaller example - our class started side-tracking and joking and bonding over joking, Jessica had to stop the fun because we had to continue on with the real work.

    3) Participation/Contribution - Having an influence, a contribution, a betterment in the lives of others. When animals and people can't contribute (like in experiments or in concentration camps) they commit suicide or die. Something in us lives by connecting to the human journey.
    Distortion - Chronic Reaction to group values. Chronic rebel, chronic supporter. Gang mentality. Consumed by roles. Fixation on affiliation - for or against, ideology is human created. Fixated on something constructed by humans. Identity is asleep. Outlaw.




  2. #2
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    TIM
    IEI 417
    Posts
    511
    Mentioned
    31 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I guess I'll go first! As an SO/SP who leans on the SP side:

    Self preservation
    1) Health and Well being
    I place a lot of importance here, but it's not a point of "neuroticism". I'd never try too hard to be healthy. I'm just kinda realistic about how low-maintenance i have to be in order for a health-related habit to stay consistent. I'm only human and occasionally have poor health habits but I'm overall pretty good and try to be healthy. I can underestimate how much an activity will "violate" this are and I not uncommonly engage in such activities. But I learn quickly, when in the end they make me too uncomfortable to enjoy(cognitive dissonance)

    2) Practical know-how
    Well I have Te PoLR so that affects how I relate to tending to practical, basic life things. But this isn't an area I don't pay attention to. I would also always make sure I can take care of myself

    3) Domesticity
    I have barely thought about this because the "maintaining a home, foundation, base" part seems like an intuitive aspect of life. Otherwise, I like my virtual or physical area to be clear and decluttered because clean space clean mind. But, I'm not very rigid about this and things can get messy.


    Sexual
    1) Edge/Aggression/ Pushing the envelope
    When it comes to activities, I procrastinate moving towards what draws me. When it comes to people, I was always too self-conscious to let go and let myself instinctively move towards who draws me. I'm too self-conscious about my desires I guess. i actually didn't realize i am "allowed to" go towards someone if *I* want to. only dependent on the other person. I can also procrastinate the most talking to the people who draw me the most. Takes out a lot of energy to engage with what draws me which i hate (example: i'm very interested in the topic of this thread, but it took me 4 days to write up my own response)

    2) Broadcasting/Charisma
    Ok.. in middle school/early high school I unintentionally had a philosophy to never seem like I'm "trying" when it comes to this aspect. It's this aspect of unintentional shame surrounding trying to attract others/be attractive.

    3) Immersion/Fusion
    Us sexual blinds feel like there's a line delineating everything and we don't feel comfortable letting things spill over the lines (hence merge). I played piano since I was 4, but it took getting close to a sp/sx very passionate about piano for me to realize that I'm a, uh, pianist. I don't "play piano".. I AM a pianist (do u get what i'm saying). just like everyone else i can get strongly immersed in a passion or person.. but imagine pouring oil into water-- the oil may be submerged, but the droplets don't ever quite become homogenous with the water. so this concept is something i've been working on changing-- remove the unconscious lines surrounding myself and everything else.


    Social
    1) Reading and Adapting
    Yeahh I do this so much. I'm very socially adaptable, especially as a Harmonizer and Fe creative. I don't think I go overboard and over-adapt because I have a strong sense of self, but perhaps when I was younger I was susceptible. I definitely fear banishment.

    2) Bonding and Affiliating
    I focus on the bonding a lot. I don't "group merge" (see next point) but I'm inclined towards "codependency" with someone else. I like having someone I can always depend on in the SO sense. A forever bond.. I focus less on affiliating/networking because socializing with people I don't care about much is very tiring, but I've always recognized it as something I "should" be doing when I fail to do it.

    3) Participation/Contribution
    Ok.. I have a distortion here-- well, actually, it's exactly as oceanmoonshine describes for SO/SP 4s. I don't rebel to group values but instead instinctively define myself as being outside of a group (withdraw), which essentially ties me back to the group. Only recently I've started building a sense of "belonging" to my groups (for example the class or school I'm in). I'm also inclined to save my energy and not contribute to a group (and almost look down on it). Why contribute to a group i don't even feel like i belong to, I guess. I've started recognizing that participating and contributing to groups would lessen some neuroticism/overfocus surrounding my SOC instinct. And it won't be a waste of energy, it'll make me and others feel good!
    I think my parents also influenced me here. They're sp/sx and sp/so and it's always been a "fact" that they don't belong to any social groups, and they often "mock" groups from the POV of outsiders. And they just generally don't spend energy being in groups.


    I hope some others take the time to respond because I am VERY curious about how others experience the instincts within themselves!!

  3. #3
    thistle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    TIM
    ESI
    Posts
    189
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    What's your stacking and how do you relate to each area? Do you experience any distortions?
    SP
    Coming down from anything throws my nervous system, so I abstain from drugs, alcohol - even though it makes me boring.
    Exercising and tidying my house help me unwind.
    It upsets me when I don't sleep enough, because I know it will affect my capacity to manage and enjoy work.

    Put one's affairs in order...this is a pressing issue and it matters... I get through it at a snail pace

    SX
    Being captivated by something or someone - I relate to that and also to repulsion (being uptight, noticing rigidness in my body).
    When I'm drawn to a person, I look forward to times when we can talk one-to-one...away from the callings of the world, the "affairs to put in order".

    my broadcasting/display would be trying too hard to appear open, in terms of big-5 openness, to counteract the SP boring-ness.

    SO
    I like to listen in on viewpoints. Hanging around relaxed/slow moving forums is just one example.
    My thoughts go to where and with whom I'd like to spend my time and efforts. It seems built into me to adapt and to value contributive efforts over self-reliance. I want to belong and feel useful somewhere; I'm part of a volunteer-run group.

    Maintaining bonds - intermittent. When neurotic in the SP area, my friendships suffer.


    Going by those workshop notes, my strongest instinct is SP - the distorted version.

  4. #4
    thistle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    TIM
    ESI
    Posts
    189
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @chocolatte, your post got me thinking about the part SX-instinct plays in a person binding their identity to their passions.

    Would you describe more what you mean by "delineation" ? - In terms of hobbies/interests, more than the relationships aspect.
    Would a manifestation of that be the control of time and energy spent?

    What I took from that was it could be limiting to define yourself by *an* interest, when you could rather be even more free, or multi-faceted.

    But I don't know whether I've understood you (or the SX instinct) correctly.

  5. #5
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    TIM
    IEI 417
    Posts
    511
    Mentioned
    31 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @thistle

    I don't think SX defines themselves by a single interest. By the piano example I gave, I didn't mean that I lacked the impulse to define myself by the interest, I meant more that my unconscious choice of phrasing when thinking of myself in relation to the hobby demonstrates how I still felt separate from the hobby. I still see two discrete entities: me and music. Deep down the "me" remains separate from my passion.

    I think you're SP/SO because when you say " to counteract the SP boring-ness" I think SX-blinds, and not SP-firsts, are the ones to commonly think they're boring and lacking that "juice" others have. You also seem to have a better grasp of SP and SO than of SX. Personally, it took me a few years to really spot what about me makes me SX-blind and to figure out what is SX is, in practice.

    Here's how I picture the instincts which helped me understand SX (i hope it's helpful): if you have a bunch of dots on a piece of paper representing people as well as interests.
    -drawing a circle around a dot represents SP
    -drawing circles around groups of dots represents SO
    -drawing straight lines directly linking 2 dots represents SX
    the dominant instinct can be represented by bolder lines and the second instinct as a more faded, but still present, line.

    So if you're SX-blind and there are not one but two types of circles already delineating (putting boundaries around) dots, then it makes sense that they have a hard time bypassing *both* lines to shoot a direct line from themselves to another.
    When SX is first then they easily disregard the SP and SO circles in favor of shooting straight from themselves to another dot.
    Fr SP-blinds: say their dot is already within a group of dots. nothing is stopping them from shooting a straight line to another dot. and if the dot is outside their SO circle, it's not super hard either especially for SX/SO whose SO boundaries are faded.


    "Would a manifestation of that be the control of time and energy spent?" I'm not sure how to answer this yet but I'll sit on it, anyway i need to go now eep i'm late!

  6. #6
    thistle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    TIM
    ESI
    Posts
    189
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    I didn't mean that I lacked the impulse to define myself by the interest, I meant more that my unconscious choice of phrasing when thinking of myself in relation to the hobby demonstrates how I still felt separate from the hobby.
    Oh, thanks for the explanation Both you and asd alluded to this and it makes sense (of course), that the lead instinct is so essential to us that it just is.

    Our word choices hint at it. Perhaps we pipe up in conversations where the lead instinct matters are raised.

    In my case, I grew up with SP-first parents whose conversations concerned maintenance: of home and health, employability, money set aside for a rainy day, etc
    All that tells my history of who I am = SP. Absorbed priorities over time, I suppose.

    Representing the borders of SP and SO on paper does help -
    Drawing this, I'm most at home with the guarded dot/s. Crossing borders is not like me at all - I hang back.

    So SP/SO for me might be closer to reality.

    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    I'm not sure how to answer this yet but I'll sit on it, anyway i need to go now eep i'm late!
    that's ok, I have a habit of overcomplicating things that may not even require a definitive answer or be mine to know.

  7. #7
    chocolatte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    TIM
    IEI 417
    Posts
    511
    Mentioned
    31 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thistle View Post
    In my case, I grew up with SP-first parents whose conversations concerned maintenance: of home and health, employability, money set aside for a rainy day, etc
    All that tells my history of who I am = SP. Absorbed priorities over time, I suppose.
    I also grew up with SP-first parents (actually, my sibling is also SP-first!) which tells my story like you I focus on SP way more than the average so/sp for sure. but since no one focused on SO, I assumed that I wasn't supposed to focus on mine.. hence some distortions.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •