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Thread: "[Dual] makes relationships with third parties totally dangerous"

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    skosh's Avatar
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    Default "[Dual] makes relationships with third parties totally dangerous"

    One RK Graying in "Information psychoanalysis" (I can't provide any citation) says this in passing about the duality relationship:

    "Let me remind you also that the presence of Douala makes relationships with third parties totally dangerous, and therefore mutually enriching."


    Could we get some clarification here? Dangerous for whom? The pair or the third party? I found this curious because the implication is regardless of the dual pair (e.g. EII-LSE, IEE-SLI, SEE-ILI, or whatever), its the same result. They somehow are endangered or create danger when a third party is involved. This is especially of interest if a partner in a dual couple is cheating, or when children and other family members are involved. So I was wondering if anyone can provide some insight on this supposedly general rule regarding third parties in relation to dual pairs.
    Last edited by skosh; 04-28-2021 at 08:17 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by skosh View Post
    "Let me remind you also that the presence of Douala makes relationships with third parties totally dangerous, and therefore mutually enriching."

    Could we get some clarification here? Dangerous for whom?
    seems a google translation

    Dangerous for relations of duals.
    It could be supposed that duals interact with each other by best way when get no external influence. As in this case they are tuned on each other the most, informational exchange is the best and they behave most naturally for them. A try to help or to change something in such pair, any external influences of other people - disturb this exchange. Also the most of other people have other types and hence own understanding of the life, what differs from natural ways for duals to deal with each other. It was said for cases of all duals interactions - not only when it's a pair, just any too people.
    As IR work more intensively in close and informal relations, alike of marriage pair or long friends. So this more relates to those cases.
    It should be much an idealization of duality IR. As there is much besides Jung types what affects relations.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Not sure how it's dangerous for duals if its "mutually enriching"

    My guess is when duals are in-sync, they effectively alienate the third party. Duals are yin & yang, a complete circle. The dual dyad is confident, protective of one another, rendering the atmosphere "dangerous" for the third party.

    When IEI (my dual) get close, we tend to get this way. Just my take on things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    seems a google translation

    Dangerous for releations of duals.
    It could be supposed that duals interact with each other by best way when get no external influence. As in this case they are tuned on each other the most, informational exchange is the best and they behave most naturally for them. A try to help or to change something in such pair, any external influences of other people - disturb this exchange. Also the most of other people have other types and hence own understanding of the life, what differs from natural ways for duals to deal with each other. It was said for cases of all duals interactions - not only when it's a pair, just any too people.
    As IR work more intensively in close and informal relations, alike of marriage pair or long friends. So this more relates to those cases.
    It should be much an idealization of duality IR. As there is much besides Jung types what affects relations.
    The idea that Duals operate best when they are one-on-one is very interesting.

    I just realized that in all of my Dual interactions, I was happiest when it was just him/her and me. It wasn’t as if I was afraid of introducing them to my friends and family, but bringing in a third person just seemed to dilute the interaction. I wasn’t able to spend as much time focusing on the Dual.

    I’ve recently been going out on dates with a female Dual and I’ve been wondering when I’d meet her family members, because she talks about them all the time. When I was married to an SLI, we spent days and weeks at a time visiting her family.

    With this ESI Dual, I guess from this discussion that it might happen eventually, but it’s not one of her priorities.

    On my side, I can’t introduce her to my parents because they are both dead (I’m a Covid-19 orphan), my sisters live in distant states, and my son only visits occasionally. Maybe she’ll meet him.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 05-01-2021 at 01:53 PM.

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    The Darling Duck~ MissDucki's Avatar
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    I would like to bump this thread because I find it interesting. The thing is that I find this argument both valid and dangerous at the same time. I think a lot of dual relationships don't always make sense to the outsider. Especially if they are from conflicting quadrants. I have a gamma friend in I suspect an ILI-SEE relationship. While I don't dislike him (SEE), I think he is a good match for my friend, I feel more nervous as I don't trust in a natural sense because I don't fully understand. Nonetheless, my friend is happy and taken care of so that's all that matters. I have not had many close interactions ore relationships with my own dual in the long-term. However, I noticed when I would bring something up that my dual said or did that wont bug me or think twice about, they seem to react much differently then I would. Especially if it is more so gamma or delta quadra. I am nervous to bring a dual home to be honest. I am more worried of an ILE meeting my mom (SLI) more then anything. Simply because I think she has a different ideal partner for me then an ILE. I think she would prefer an IEE for me haha! She doesn't seem to fond of my ILE uncle either. I also think that most people wouldn't picture me with an ILE to be honest. Most of my friends seem to picture me with an LII type or SLE type. I don't know if they would understand from an outside perspective. People may perceive that they know us better then we do and think someone else is a better match. We are all coming in with our biases so, I can see how the argument can be valid in that it can be dangerous on having a third party come into a dual relationship.

    Though, I do think that this kind of thinking can be dangerous as it seems that there seems to be a lot of dismissing of disrespectful, rude, and even potentially abusive behaviors that we can let slide from duals because they are our 'duals'. I think we tend to rationalize a lot of shitty behaviors based on understanding of theory then recognizing that this person is being a straight up asshole and it's not just cognitive functions. They can still be a potentially shitty person despite being our dual. Not having an outsider give us a kick in the ass to warn us and pull us out of the fire is important. Be it friend, romantic, acquaintance, or even boss.
    Last edited by MissDucki; 07-17-2021 at 03:43 PM.

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    I don’t know…
    I think suggestive and HA receive a big boost of help hence more efficient in “third party situations” as well, so that’s not necessarily a dangerous aspect. As for super ego block we deal with it our whole lives (figuring out ways to avoid it) so we can still continue doing that lol - so that need not be dangerous either I think. Plus the dual could “arm you” if you’re really that worried about potentially how to behave in situation where PoLR is being used maliciously against you, or other “dangerous situations.” It won’t be easy or ideal for anyone but has the world ever cared about that before it abuses, or allows it, sometime vulnerable?


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    Dangerous maybe because love itself can be a dangerous, volatile emotion. There's a fire part to love that if isn't grounded by some type of morality, "good-will", responsibility or other things, that love will just burn everything in its path until there is nothing left. And if it is your 'dual' you can be even more blind to their flaws because they are so good at protecting the weaker points in your psyche. To me love is deeply caring about the other person- but not so much everybody else. When VampWillow & VampXander ate Cordelia in that one Buffy Episode- I think it proved that. They loved each other still even in an alternate dark reality- but their love was dangerous to the normal Karens.




    Also people have a tendency to be very jealous maybe if you find your dual and they didn't. I think often times people want to know who you are crushing on so they can try to sabotage it behind the scenes.

    Though, I do think that this kind of thinking can be dangerous as it seems that there seems to be a lot of dismissing of disrespectful, rude, and even potentially abusive behaviors that we can let slide from duals because they are our 'duals'. I think we tend to rationalize a lot of shitty behaviors based on understanding of theory then recognizing that this person is being a straight up asshole and it's not just cognitive functions. They can still be a potentially shitty person despite being our dual. Not having an outsider give us a kick in the ass to warn us and pull us out of the fire is important. Be it friend, romantic, acquaintance, or even boss.


    I know what you mean. Sadly trying to warn people doesn't seem to ever work in my experience- it just further fuels the "love" feeling (of course it really is just infatuation gone haywire) and makes it hotter for them because now what they are doing is even more rebellious and 'forbidden'- because they are a jerk. It just intensifies it and makes them feel more turned on by the person. In my experience you have to let people learn on their own why it isn't a good idea- then when they come crying back to you, a little well-deserved 'I told you so' is in order!


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