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Thread: Mirage relationship, matching subtypes

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    Default Mirage relationship, matching subtypes

    Started up with an SEI. It's evident she seeks Ne & tries supplying it herself. I'm pretty well read, aware of socionics (she isn't) & that Ne is my role. Our subtypes match (which is decent) & share important interests. I accept her Si lead & we live separately, which is probably for the best.

    Wondering what forum members experiences are regarding the mirage relationship, particularly when the subtypes match.

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    My Mirage relationship is with LSIs. In my case, the Erotic Attitudes match as Victim-Aggressor.

    I've had two GFs of this type. The last one lasted four years. We matched in every important way, from my e8 to her e6, and my sx/so to her sp/sx. I think that she's LSI-Ti, and I don't know if you could consider that to be a matching sub-type, but we usually got along great. She is a wonderful person; agreeable, intelligent, sexy, physically attractive, active and slender. I should say that we got along great when it was just the two of us, but when other people were involved, we didn't operate as a couple.

    She wanted to continue and possibly get married, because when it was good, it was very very good, and when it was bad, it wasn't so bad. However, I felt that since Socionics had predicted the course and details of my Mirage relationships so well, it would be worthwhile to try for a Dual relationship instead.

    I broke up with her last November, 2020. Still looking for a long-term Dual. Lol.

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    I was in a relationship with an SLE for four years. Most of it was horrible but for reasons outside of socionics. Our relationship might have worked out if circumstances had been different because we were pretty compatible personality-wise. If you and your gf share the same important interests and have complimentary subtypes, then I’m sure you can make it work.

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    I was with an SEI for 7 years. It was easy, comfortable and conflict-free. I ended it because I got bored, felt stagnant and craved for something deeper that I couldn't put into words. Only years later after getting into socionics I realized this unnamed craving was Ni dual-seeking. I think from her point of view I was close enough to an ILE (especially due to my C subtype and alpha parents), and the Se leading didn't really bother her as it coincides with many traditionally masculine traits. Her subtype was most likely Normalizing.

    It's an easy "trap" to fall into, because SEI very good at pleasing your physical desires, will not judge you and the creative Ti/Fe HA <-> creative Fe/Ti HA interaction is very enjoyable for both partners.
    I did regret breaking up with her sometimes afterwards and most of all I deeply regretted hurting her in the process, but I think in my case it was sadly inevitable. It's a good compatibility nonetheless, you could do much worse and it all depends on how deep your craving for Ni is and if you could satisfy it some other way.

    The biggest problem is that Se and Si leading have completely opposite feelings about what constitutes a good life, so despite very good interactions there is a fundamental difference in what you desire in life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    My Mirage relationship is with LSIs. In my case, the Erotic Attitudes match as Victim-Aggressor.

    I've had two GFs of this type. The last one lasted four years. We matched in every important way, from my e8 to her e6, and my sx/so to her sp/sx. I think that she's LSI-Ti, and I don't know if you could consider that to be a matching sub-type, but we usually got along great. She is a wonderful person; agreeable, intelligent, sexy, physically attractive, active and slender. I should say that we got along great when it was just the two of us, but when other people were involved, we didn't operate as a couple.

    She wanted to continue and possibly get married, because when it was good, it was very very good, and when it was bad, it wasn't so bad. However, I felt that since Socionics had predicted the course and details of my Mirage relationships so well, it would be worthwhile to try for a Dual relationship instead.

    I broke up with her last November, 2020. Still looking for a long-term Dual. Lol.
    Appreciate the story. Experienced similar. Sometimes a mirage can be super cool while the dual has kinks to work out. Obviously I can't advice. Everyone has their own path to walk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    I was in a relationship with an SLE for four years. Most of it was horrible but for reasons outside of socionics. Our relationship might have worked out if circumstances had been different because we were pretty compatible personality-wise. If you and your gf share the same important interests and have complimentary subtypes, then I’m sure you can make it work.
    Thank you for the perspective. Kinda wish socionics had more literature on how "unhealthy" types manifests. The lack of self-awareness in one dual I've met was f'ing amazing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    I was with an SEI for 7 years. It was easy, comfortable and conflict-free. I ended it because I got bored, felt stagnant and craved for something deeper that I couldn't put into words. Only years later after getting into socionics I realized this unnamed craving was Ni dual-seeking. I think from her point of view I was close enough to an ILE (especially due to my C subtype and alpha parents), and the Se leading didn't really bother her as it coincides with many traditionally masculine traits. Her subtype was most likely Normalizing.

    It's an easy "trap" to fall into, because SEI very good at pleasing your physical desires, will not judge you and the creative Ti/Fe HA <-> creative Fe/Ti HA interaction is very enjoyable for both partners.
    I did regret breaking up with her sometimes afterwards and most of all I deeply regretted hurting her in the process, but I think in my case it was sadly inevitable. It's a good compatibility nonetheless, you could do much worse and it all depends on how deep your craving for Ni is and if you could satisfy it some other way.

    The biggest problem is that Se and Si leading have completely opposite feelings about what constitutes a good life, so despite very good interactions there is a fundamental difference in what you desire in life.
    Tbh, I'm relatively cool with my Ni. I got an idea of my future path & what gives me personal meaning with or without another person. I see where you're coming from. IEI are pretty awesome but I'm digging this chick for now. Her Ne dual seeking keeps her interesting. My Se might be too bullish at some point. Who knows.

    Appreciate the personal experiences from you all. ��

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    Unfortunately, my mother's type (ESTj) is my mirage and although we got along well, I did not like the way she constantly castigated my father - though some of it he deserved. Whenever I meet anyone of her type, images always come to the fore of her ripping strips off my father in a self-righteous manner beating him down even further than he already was, so I seem to automatically keep relationships with that type at further than normal distances. Barring personal baggage like mine, the relationships have the potential to be comparable in strength to those of semi-duals; in both of those relationships, there are some similar dynamics to what one experiences with one's dual. I'm not sure how subtype is being defined here but being one does present some handicaps to relationships in general.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Unfortunately, my mother's type (ESTj) is my mirage and although we got along well, I did not like the way she constantly castigated my father - though some of it he deserved. Whenever I meet anyone of her type, images always come to the fore of her ripping strips off my father in a self-righteous manner beating him down even further than he already was, so I seem to automatically keep relationships with that type at further than normal distances. Barring personal baggage like mine, the relationships have the potential to be comparable in strength to those of semi-duals; in both of those relationships, there are some similar dynamics to what one experiences with one's dual. I'm not sure how subtype is being defined here but being one does present some handicaps to relationships in general.

    a.k.a. I/O
    That sucks, man. My mom is ESE, my beneficiary. I'm not real fond of ESEs. I'd like to believe it has nothing to do with certain behaviors ny mom exhibited. I won't get into details & I love my mom but I've seen ESEs behave like idiots too often.

    I guess the way you view your mirage is the way I perceive my beneficiary. Go figure.

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    Some claim that mirage is among the best. Some claim that mirage is among the best for irrationals while semi-dual is among the best for rationals. I have no experience though.

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    I can't even imagine being attracted to LSEs in a romantic or sexual way. However, they can be reliable, trustworthy and supportive as friends.

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    I have been attracted to two ILE 8s before. Otherwise, I am platonically very close to an ILE. Although I appreciate her so much, from this relationship I know I could never be with an ILE romantically.

    I have to say, the PoLR/demonstrative interaction is extremely satisfying.

    Here are the 2 main negatives:
    The way she tries to comfort me only makes me feel worse.
    One way is that she finds a little loophole in something I said or in the situation and makes a completely random joke about it to lighten the mood. I can see why the negativist SEI would appreciate it, but it doesn't go down on me. Makes me irrationally angry, but I don't dare express it because she did nothing wrong (the e1 in me speaking) which leads to resentment over time.

    I believe there is something about IEI-SLE duality (maybe beta duality in general) where it's fundamentally a battle to establish equality. Both tries to take the upper hand (in whichever domain they specialize in) and will unconsciously take it if an opportunity presents. I think only the dual can hold the other in check and establish a balance.
    She doesn't keep me in check the way I need or unconsciously want her to (for example when I find myself starting fights). It's very, very unsatisfying. All I want is to find an equal, and it's not that she's "superior" or "inferior", but instead completely outside of it, as she doesn't think in terms of that- she's not beta.

    Overall, if I take Adam's philosophy, I have to make slightly more compromises in this friendship than I would be willing to make in a romantic relationship. I've observed myself enough to confidently know that in the romantic arena, in the long run, anything less than duality will feel like "settling".

    Stray Cat, I imagine that if I were a Fe subtype, I would have a slightly better experience of mirage if subtypes match. I have no idea if in that case I'd be willing to compromise.

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    I relate a lot to ILIs platonically. Specifically ILI-Ni, they have stronger Fi HA and I have stronger Te HA, so I guess for base suptypes mirage compabibility works too. Problem is we're looking for the same thing - sensing - which is why the mirage relationship is more "looking in the same direction" than "looking at each other" . Make awesome BFFs though; I like to reassure them on their little Fe Polr.
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    Makes me think what is going on with them and this site shows it is a lot misunderstanding something what was quite clear but less clarified. Seems a lot like blissful ignorance that can be totally fine for a very long time.
    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    I can't even imagine being attracted to LSEs in a romantic or sexual way. However, they can be reliable, trustworthy and supportive as friends.
    This mirage vs semi dual thing is reversed between rationals/irrationals.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrightDemonSheep96 View Post
    Makes me think what is going on with them and this site shows it is a lot misunderstanding something what was quite clear but less clarified. Seems a lot like blissful ignorance that can be totally fine for a very long time.


    This mirage vs semi dual thing is reversed between rationals/irrationals.
    In my point of view, J functions determines what kind of language that we talk in terms of romance, therefore, how we love/like someone, therefore who we are attracted to. So irrational-mirage being equivalent to rational semiduality always made sense to me, but I always thought that I may think that way because I am rational.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    I have been attracted to two ILE 8s before. Otherwise, I am platonically very close to an ILE. Although I appreciate her so much, from this relationship I know I could never be with an ILE romantically.

    I have to say, the PoLR/demonstrative interaction is extremely satisfying.

    Here are the 2 main negatives:
    The way she tries to comfort me only makes me feel worse.
    One way is that she finds a little loophole in something I said or in the situation and makes a completely random joke about it to lighten the mood. I can see why the negativist SEI would appreciate it, but it doesn't go down on me. Makes me irrationally angry, but I don't dare express it because she did nothing wrong (the e1 in me speaking) which leads to resentment over time.

    I believe there is something about IEI-SLE duality (maybe beta duality in general) where it's fundamentally a battle to establish equality. Both tries to take the upper hand (in whichever domain they specialize in) and will unconsciously take it if an opportunity presents. I think only the dual can hold the other in check and establish a balance.
    She doesn't keep me in check the way I need or unconsciously want her to (for example when I find myself starting fights). It's very, very unsatisfying. All I want is to find an equal, and it's not that she's "superior" or "inferior", but instead completely outside of it, as she doesn't think in terms of that- she's not beta.

    Overall, if I take Adam's philosophy, I have to make slightly more compromises in this friendship than I would be willing to make in a romantic relationship. I've observed myself enough to confidently know that in the romantic arena, in the long run, anything less than duality will feel like "settling".

    Stray Cat, I imagine that if I were a Fe subtype, I would have a slightly better experience of mirage if subtypes match. I have no idea if in that case I'd be willing to compromise.
    Wow. I totally freaking get this.

    Communicating with an SEI-Fe is easier than with an SEI-Si. I wouldn't live with an Si-dom. Even when mirages have the best intentions, their "corrections", however innocent would irritate. Over the long haul it would suck for us both.

    For what its worth, my mirage & I share views not related to socioi. I'm just baffled I prefer her over my activity relation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    Wow. I totally freaking get this.

    Communicating with an SEI-Fe is easier than with an SEI-Si. I wouldn't live with an Si-dom. Even when mirages have the best intentions, their "corrections", however innocent would irritate. Over the long haul it would suck for us both.

    For what its worth, my mirage & I share views not related to socioi. I'm just baffled I prefer her over my activity relation.
    I think I also prefer mirage to activity.. granted, I don't have much experience with activity relations.
    Maybe we can look at it this way: In the case of activity, IME-wise it's complementary (Ni/Se Fe/Ti), but IME-placement-wise (temperament & Polr/demonstrative & HA/creative) nothing is complementary. i hope you get what i mean.

    Also, what do you mean by "corrections"?

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    I think I also prefer mirage to activity.. granted, I don't have much experience with activity relations.
    Maybe we can look at it this way: In the case of activity, IME-wise it's complementary (Ni/Se Fe/Ti), but IME-placement-wise (temperament & Polr/demonstrative & HA/creative) nothing is complementary. i hope you get what i mean.

    Also, what do you mean by "corrections"?
    Ne & Ni "correct" each other. Ni tells Ne, "you're under-estimating the probability". Ne tells Ni, "you're overlooking the possibilities".

    Ni prefers finding the one hidden truth among possibilities, while Ne will continue to share other possibilities.
    Ne prefers opening other doors, while Ni researches the most probable one

    In the end, the two "correct" one another because each believes they are fundamentally right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    I can't even imagine being attracted to LSEs in a romantic or sexual way. However, they can be reliable, trustworthy and supportive as friends.
    See, this is exactly my sentiment with regard to my Mirages (ESE), and why it always blows my mind whenever I see how fondly Adam speaks of his LSI relationships. I almost want to experience that (with an ESE-Si in particular), because there are so many who say our type of Mirage relation (with complementary erotic attitudes) can be very positive

    I have found some Mirage women to be objectively beautiful, but never had an attraction to the guys. To be fair, I don't know that many male ESEs. But concerning the ones I know, their high emotionality can be a turn-off for me at times...because I bring enough of it to the table myself.

    @Stray Cat, I hope things are still working out!

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    See, this is exactly my sentiment with regard to my Mirages (ESE), and why it always blows my mind whenever I see how fondly Adam speaks of his LSI relationships. I almost want to experience that (with an ESE-Si in particular), because there are so many who say our type of Mirage relation (with complementary erotic attitudes) can be very positive

    I have found some Mirage women to be objectively beautiful, but never had an attraction to the guys. To be fair, I don't know that many male ESEs. But concerning the ones I know, their high emotionality can be a turn-off for me at times...because I bring enough of it to the table myself.

    @Stray Cat, I hope things are still working out!
    I am also baffled by Adam and his LSI ex and I am more baffled that his LII sister is married to LSE. I wonder how that even happened As I am informed, it can be due to upbringing.

    I find romance styles described by Meged and Ovcharov (IEE-SLI couple) much more precise than erotic style descriptions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    I can't even imagine being attracted to LSEs in a romantic or sexual way. However, they can be reliable, trustworthy and supportive as friends.
    Re. dating LSEs, I could see myself doing it if I were much younger and less experienced. I usually like LSEs on a personal level, and Si is sexy, but there’s a certain personal distance I keep from them. I don’t think a marriage would work very well.

    I think the main issue is that it feels like they take a domineering and controlling approach to everyone they feel comes under their wing, and it’s a bit much for my taste. I guess EIIs may like being told what to do, but a partner who constantly feels a need to command me in the most inconsequential of situations and genuinely doesn’t see any reason I should ever disagree with these incessant pronouncements does not sound like a good time to me. I really don’t relish the idea of fighting every decision I make. I think for an LII it would be as horrible as dating an SLE, and for similar reasons, just with less initial red flags to scare them off.

    I don’t think there are any active LSEs on this forum but I’d be curious to hear their part: what they’d think of dating an LII.
    Last edited by FreelancePoliceman; 05-16-2021 at 04:36 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    Si is sexy
    it suuure is.

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    what bothers me about excessive Te, or dominant subtype, or something isn't so much being dictated to - that can make me extremely angry, but under some circumstances when it's intelligently reasoned and executed, i can appreciate it.
    more about having the common sense logic of the situation prioritized over the actual situation as it exists. having logic provided that may or may not be applicable to my circumstance because the fluid and real developing context is such a distantly secondary thing to consider.

    EIEs are so interesting. i havent been attracted to one, but i could easily imagine it. the one i dated for a couple weeks in high school isnt worth discussing. i guess my dual according that controversial big g dude.

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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    the second last (don’t want to format; on phone) sentence - I don’t like the idea of a dictator-type LSE either lol

    i think with us we are capable of receiving LSE’s Te info in a way where we use it as instructed but i don’t want to be micromanaged either. I want someone who can “take charge” as needed and then be receptive and relaxed as needed too.
    Lol. It’s a benevolent dictatorship. If you haven’t spent much time around LSEs than you may find you like them better in practice than in theory. They really do tend to mean the best for people and really try to help them out. They can be really wonderful people. They just have a certain way of seeing the world, and if you have a conflicting vision they unknowingly try to steamroll you. If you’re substantively at odds it’s a constant power struggle, and unlike SLEs they don’t even seem to realize it’s a struggle most of the time; they genuinely don’t know how to respond to a challenge and just continue to push for what they want like they’re the walking dead. But it seems like dual couples don’t really impugn or intrude on each other’s sphere of interest too much. These power struggles don’t occur with EII at all from what I’ve seen; EII just feel relieved when LSE give them easy solutions to problems. My grandparents are LSE/EII and despite being some of the most strong-willed people on earth they’ve barely ever quarreled. Another consideration is that EII are bossy in relationships themselves; I see this too in my grandparents’ relationship. They boss each other in different spheres and neither seems to mind. Lol.

    You might also perceive LSEs as more laid-back than I’m making them out to be. They are, in a way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    yeah I imagine two logical types can butt heads

    (...and I generally still don’t like LSE-Tes from the ones I’ve met; not that I’ve closed myself upto that subtype completely or even totally opened up to the other one. Just everything seems to go wrong from the get go and I see them as a little too squeamish about the unexpected...anyways)

    I think I do prefer a generally relaxed and receptive and kind LSE with an undergird of confidence/authority like he can “catch me” if needed but is otherwise pleasantly gentle and receptive to my...intuitiveness lol
    Duals aren’t really like that from what I’ve seen unless you’re willing to accept a middle-aged partner; someone who’s much more mature than what I’d guess is likely for your age. It takes a lot of experience in life to appreciate your duals, especially since duals don’t tend to spend much time in each other’s society. LSEs’ Fi-receptivity to EIIs is something that comes naturally to them and has to be developed. The good news, since you seem to want to date an LSE, is that most people develop a need to integrate their weaker valued functions into the ego, so sensitivity to your feelings is something an LSE will feel the urge to develop. You would also hopefully develop appreciation for the LSE’s nature and temperament yourself, since it seems you’re mostly thinking in terms of what an LSE would do for you, and because you don’t seem to appreciate their outlook and temperament too much yourself and want them to be more similar to you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Duals aren’t really like that from what I’ve seen unless you’re willing to accept a middle-aged partner; someone who’s much more mature than what I’d guess is likely for your age. It takes a lot of experience in life to appreciate your duals, especially since duals don’t tend to spend much time in each other’s society. LSEs’ Fi-receptivity to EIIs is something that comes naturally to them and has to be developed. The good news, since you seem to want to date an LSE, is that most people develop a need to integrate their weaker valued functions into the ego, so sensitivity to your feelings is something an LSE will feel the urge to develop. You would also hopefully develop appreciation for the LSE’s nature and temperament yourself, since it seems you’re mostly thinking in terms of what an LSE would do for you, and because you don’t seem to appreciate their outlook and temperament too much yourself and want them to be more similar to you.
    idk, I don't think that's true. I don't think there's one true type of LSE and should I not "appreciate them" that I "don't appreciate LSEs"

    with anyways I adopt a bit of an Ni mindset, what will be...will be. (That some people simply click and connect for whatever inexplicable reason and some don’t; I don’t want to force that initial connection)

    I also disagree "duals cannot really be like that" (pleasant and compatible, essentially).

    If I've had part of it with an SLI it really shouldn't be so much of a stretch for behavior in an LSE. I didn't have to learn to appreciate that SLI; I just naturally trusted him like I've never anybody in my life and all he needed to do was be himself. I disagree that this cannot be recreated, even better, in duality.

    ...anyways, this thread is about mirage so...won't derail further.

    I also don't think I want them to be "similar" to me; what I have described here and elsewhere is an opposite, a contrast. With some similarities of course. I would take on their traits as they would mine. Anyways, I think you may have misunderstood what I’ve communicated here and elsewhere as I’m not a stranger to te (lead) behavior as for “not appreciating their temperament and attributes.” My father is ILI and my brother LIE. I manage to keep some Te egos around me usually.
    Last edited by necrosebud; 05-16-2021 at 07:10 PM.


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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    idk, I don't think that's true. I don't think there's one true type of LSE and should I not "appreciate them" that I "don't appreciate LSEs"

    with anyways I adopt a bit of an Ni mindset, what will be...will be.

    I also disagree "duals cannot really be like that" (pleasant and compatible, essentially).

    If I've had part of it with an SLI it really shouldn't be so much of a stretch for behavior in an LSE. I didn't have to learn to appreciate that SLI; I just naturally trusted him like I've never anybody in my life and all he needed to do was be himself. I disagree that this cannot be recreated, even better, in duality.

    ...anyways, this thread is about mirage so...won't derail further.

    I also don't think I want them to be "similar" to me; what I have described here and elsewhere is an opposite, a contrast. With some similarities of course. I would take on their traits as they would mine. Anyways, I think you may have misunderstood what I’ve communicated here and elsewhere as I’m not a stranger to te (lead) behavior as for “not appreciating their temperament and attributes.” My father is ILI and my brother LIE. I manage to keep some Te egos around me usually.
    Maybe for someone who hasn't matured a day in her life, the "what will be...will be" mindset might seem fitting for them but the reality is people change and adapt all the time, if you're constantly learning and don't grow stagnant you will change. You also learn new things about yourself after each serious relationship, so unless you just had nothing to take from them(which honestly might just mean you're more of the issue) you will grow and probably become better in the process.

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    I've dated my mirage before, our issues weren't anything about bumping heads it was just that she felt I pressured her too much and she already had school, career and other things that were distracting her from a relationship. We were very close platonically and had a lot of differences(which I respected) but ultimately it ended because we just had different priorities. I think enneagram variants had more influence in that relationship than socionics itself, with her being sx blind and all.

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    I feel comfortable around ILEs. A lot of times I even approach them which is weird to me cuz my introverted ass won't ever approach anybody. We can talk about just about anything together.

    It's not fiery or exciting enough for me. They make me feel like an evil monster for wanting something more intense- but I guess since I'm a Beta Demon- I just do. I guess in campy bandd speak, it's like dating a beta/omega male instead of the alpha. And I'd rather have the alpha I guess even though in ways it's a lot more difficult/not as comfortable lol.

    I find ILEs too cowardly and insecure - like they're clearly afraid of something but don't ever directly confront it and just Ne out in everything. Such a turn-off. Well IEIs are pussies too of course but it's different and I'm naturally more understanding/kinder to IEI pussyness than ILE pussyness. Also in addition to being pussies- ILE males can often be arrogant, pretentious and snobby in ways that I don't like. I usually tolerate it well but it can get annoying.

    They also sometimes mistake me for SEI and overly idealize our interaction together when I'm feeling kind of just pathetic how they are sitting there like a beta male instead of being a man and spitting me in the face and owning me with aggression. (but empathetic aggression- I also spit SLEs in the face too erotically lol) They're just too tame to me. I hate Te rough-ness but I am healed by Se rough-ness lol. There are a few times ILE can be sort of SLE like and make me happy but I'd rather have the real thing than the false imitation.

    Even if ILE did become an "aggressor" - it would probably be unnatural to me and feel like real sexual abuse instead of hot and perfect when sle does it because they still just don't get it and we're not compatible. They all want some ideal Disney alpha life that makes me gag inside. Even though as a Fe valuer I understand the value of 'niceness' - Alpha niceness is just on a different tier.

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    If you're not brave or strong enough to face ur fears and just conquer something at least be cutely honest about how weak/flawed you are (like IEIs often are) ILEs can't do that though- instead they try to change the topic with some fake farty Ne topic that won't actually pull them in any direction and it just comes off as the weakest thing to me. (sorry if I hurt ILE feelings with this lol- maybe it's more just this one particular ILE that I know that does this...)

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    Started up with an SEI. It's evident she seeks Ne & tries supplying it herself. I'm pretty well read, aware of socionics (she isn't) & that Ne is my role. Our subtypes match (which is decent) & share important interests. I accept her Si lead & we live separately, which is probably for the best.

    Wondering what forum members experiences are regarding the mirage relationship, particularly when the subtypes match.
    What do you see Ne seeking as? What is it like?
    self-discovery
    self-development
    optimism
    relationships
    communication
    high ideals

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    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    What do you see Ne seeking as? What is it like?
    She's SEI-Fe whose Ne seeking might differ from an SEI-Si.

    She digs documentaries on morbid topics, enjoying them purely for the discussion, understanding & theory of 'em. In this way, she seeks to emulate her ILE dual, a member of the NT researcher club.

    Her style of dress, cooking & communication are fundamentally Si but cannot be satiated without occasional Ne. For example, she might dye her hair with a streak of some random color, alter her work uniform in the most unnoticeable way or use a mustard bottle to draw a smiley face on a burger patty

    She likes trivial pursuit because it challenges her Si function to be used in the most unusual of ways.

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    my current take on the ''what will be...will be'' thing is that it helps with taking perceptual breaks and this can be nurturing. I doubt that anyone can go around trying to make sure they apply this 24/7 because that would be the opposite of ''what will be...will be''. It's part of experiencing how observation and trust can play out for oneself.
    Last edited by Kalinoche buenanoche; 05-17-2021 at 12:56 PM.
    ''So sanity is acceptance of the appearance and at the same time awareness that what we think we have to accept is never really how things are.''

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