Member Questionnaire 1 (fatgurl)
What is beauty? What is love?
Sharing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves with another. Complete acceptance of another. Waking up every morning with a smile on your face. Having no doubts that this person is your person.
So I started describing beauty and realized I was describing love, so I'd say love is beautiful.
What are your most important values?
To be honest, I always have difficulties answering this question. I feel like I don't know what I value but I do value things. I literally have to google examples of values (and see what I agree with) because I can never come up with any out of my head.
So, reliability, honesty, open-mindedness, adventurousness, freedom. That's all I can come up with now.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I wouldn't say I do. I don't believe in anything 100%. I'm also 50% this makes sense and 50% this sounds crazy. My mind will always find a way to come up with another perspective to discount any conclusion that I've come to, hence why I'm never 100% about anything.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
Well, I hate children being bombed in their homes so.
Power to me? Idk, I don't think about those things so I'm not really sure how to answer that.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I don't like too much talking. Also, I haven't really talked to people like that in years so this is difficult to answer. The last time I've had a long conversation I was probably a teenager and I remember nothing so I'll skip that.
My interests: Self-discovery, art, music, movies, character/ story creation.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I don't think so. I guess I'd look into it online but actually having a full conversation about it, idk. I don't think I care about my body in that way.
What do you think of daily chores?
I don't do them. I think doing chores daily is a waste of time. Everything is just gonna get dirty right after you clean them. I've always been an advocate of paying someone to do them. It feels like torture when I think about doing any chores.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
Books: All Percy Jackson books, Hunger games books, The Kane Chronicles: The red pyramid, Bedtime, the Host
Films: Aquamarine, About Time, Harry Potter and the goblet of fire, Hunger game catching fire, The giver, divergent, Tangled, Thor Ragnarok, Brave, Inside Out, twilight eclipse, She's the Man, Mad max fury road, Shutter Island
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
Cry: I don't cry easily, but I do get teary-eyed easily. I cry when I feel like I'm not smart enough. It makes me feel like a disappointment to my parents and myself. I cry if someone yells at me or gets aggressive with me. I used to cry when I felt like I was the odd one out. I cry when I cause avoidable suffering for myself.
Smile: Watching BTS, watching my favorite YouTubers, my significant other (when I'm in a relationship), my friends.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
At one with the environment: When I'm sitting somewhere outside, but myself, it's quiet and peaceful and people are at a distance.
I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I don't know if this is even a weakness, but a lot of people I've met have a problem with me not talking enough. Which makes me talk even less. Also, not being assertive. It would make sense that people see this since a lot of them have tried to take advantage.
What I dislike about myself: As I said, not being assertive. Getting attached to people too easily.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I have no idea. I don't really know how other people see me.
My strengths: Forgiveness, gentleness, introspection, seeing different sides of a story, being calm when others are not.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
Everywhere? Lol. I guess when it comes to being more motivated. I'm not motivated to do most things that would help me to be successful. I just don't care. Nothing about it draws me in. I mean, it'd be nice to have it but it just seems so far away.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Idk if I could call it stuck in a rut but sometimes I do feel like I have no goals in life. It's hard to make myself care about things like getting a job or being an entrepreneur, putting in effort into things. I guess I'll see others doing these things and wonder why I don't have that drive. I don't do anything to solve it. I usually ignore the feeling. Overall, I would guess envy makes ends up making me feel stuck in a rut.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
Like: Patience, gentleness, understanding, loves giving compliments, easy-going, driven, confident, artistic/ creative.
Dislike: Unreliability, aggressiveness, know-it-alls.
I don't know the types of anyone.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I like a relationship that feels like I'm in a movie. I like going on dates, whether in the home or outdoors. I like experiencing new things together. As for sex, I always had issues I guess around this. I oscillate between feeling like I really need it in a relationship and then feeling deep hatred for it. I've had negative experiences around it so I guess that's why.
As for what I look for in a partner. I want someone who's emotionally intelligent, patient, respects me, more outgoing than I am but doesn't try to force me into things, gentle, talks more than me but not too much, accepts me for who I am/ the way I am, open-minded, likes to compliment me and doesn't want children.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I don't want children at all so this is kind of difficult to answer. But mostly, I'd want to make sure I didn't mess them up emotionally and mentally. I'd make sure I had sufficient therapy to handle those things to the best of my ability so I could ensure they grew up mentally and emotionally healthy. This is the most important to me because I know how not emotional neglect can cause severe issues in a child and lead to problems in adulthood (happened to me). I don't want them to go through any traumatic relationships because I didn't make sure they were okay within themselves.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Outwardly, I probably wouldn't react. But I'd make a mental note of it. I'd start to think of it in comparison with what I believe and wonder how that friend would react if they knew that my belief clashed with theirs. But overall I wouldn't say anything as I don't want to start any drama. And I'd probably convince myself it's not that big of a deal.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I don't think I have a relationship with society.
A problem I have is that everybody seems to only care about themselves. If more people could think "How would I feel if someone did this to me?" then that would help tremendously.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't know if I have a set method for choosing friends. But, I usually scope people in a room and find one person that I feel drawn to. They're usually quiet like me. I usually want to be around them frequently. I'm still mostly my quiet self but I'll talk more around the friends that I actively chose for myself. I can become kinda goofy sometimes. Pranking them or always trying to play around with them a lot.
How do you behave around strangers?
I'm mostly silent, observing them somewhat but remain aloof on the surface. If they try to talk to me I'll usually respond, but sometimes be slightly annoyed that they're disrupting my alone time. For the most part I tend to stay keep to myself.