Erotic attitudes

[Stray Cat]

With regard to the Si/Ne axis, and in an erotic situation, which tends to be the more dominant or submissive? Does the Si "caregiver" lead/dominate the Ne "infantile" or does the Ne "infantile" lead/dominate the Si "caregiver"? Is the infantile the submissive or is "caregiver/infantile" dichotomy a balance?

[MissDucki]

With regard to the Si/Ne axis, and in an erotic situation, which tends to be the more dominant or submissive? Does the Si "caregiver" lead/dominate the Ne "infantile" or does the Ne "infantile" lead/dominate the Si "caregiver"? Is the infantile the submissive or is "caregiver/infantile" dichotomy a balance?

I would not say that the Si caregiver is 'dominate' and the Ne infantile is the 'submissive. Like @necrosebud mentioned, the Si caregiver more so 'takes the lead'. Have you ever tried to control an infantile? LOL it is not going to happen Unlike victims, the worse thing you can do to an infantile is make them 'choose' or 'contain them. Especially in regards to seduction. IMO The Caregiver rather takes the lead on where the infantile wants to go sensation wise. Si is all about personal and internal sensations and since infantile are very receptive to it, I would think they would be more reactive of the Si caregiver taking the lead and showing them where to get the most bang for their buck so to speak. I think the roles may switch once the infantile gets comfortable and start using the Ne possibilities to show more options or alternatives. In the sense, Ne wants to try this possibility, gives the vision, and the Si can envision the sensation and make it happen. The roles tend to not be concrete, rather more so taking turns leading and following rather then dominating and submitting. That is how I would envision it theory wise and what I would rather have personally.

[The Reality Denialist]

Have you ever tried to control an infantile?

My mother wrote that if this happened I made everything exactly backwards since I was a little kid and then I was very sneaky.

[Stray Cat]

I know you’re not strictly referring to bdsm D/s but I find usually there’s another layer over the socionics erotic axis for a lot of people that can confound things a bit. An example, a DDLG couple I came across - LIE Daddy Dom and ESI (I think) little. But he claimed she was “sexually dominant”… so you get the idea

Its not a clearly delineated thing; other sexual proclivities interact with socionics erotic axis. Also again going to refer to the infantile Daddy Dom I had come across in high school as another example.

Nah. I'm not really talking about roleplay. I asking if, for example, does the Si-ego lead the Ne-ego. I'd say erotic attitude is an umbrella word for how each perceiving ego interprets the world. Erotic attitude could be sexual or it could be the role that particular ego assumes. Si-egos tend to care give. This is the role they tend to use when interacting with the world/society. My guess was that the Si-ego was more of a parental figure and thus the dominant. Maybe not. Figured I'd ask.

[FreelancePoliceman]

Nah. I'm not really talking about roleplay. I asking if, for example, does the Si-ego lead the Ne-ego. I'd say erotic attitude is an umbrella word for how each perceiving ego interprets the world. Erotic attitude could be sexual or it could be the role that particular ego assumes. Si-egos tend to care give. This is the role they tend to use when interacting with the world/society. My guess was that the Si-ego was more of a parental figure and thus the dominant. Maybe not. Figured I'd ask.

I would expect the exact dynamics to play out differently for each Ne type. From talking with an ILE, I get the impression his experience is fairly different, but don’t know enough to be able to elaborate more.

But from my own experience with an Si type: besides occasional times when one of us tried to be more “dominant,” I’m not sure that lens fits well. It’s easier to describe the dynamic as “playful.” Usually I would do something to see how she reacted and then determine what to do from there. Seeing her react to things was fun for me — a dynamic that carried over outside of sex as well. And she would playfully try to “instruct” me: admonish me or tell me to do something. That also is something she and SEIs in general like to do in normal life. I might try to get around her “orders” but liked when she asserted herself; the more assertive she was the more reluctant I was to disobey. But sometimes I would just break out of the dynamic and assert myself if I thought things were getting boring. So there was back-and-forth.

I really like to be “led” and to give the other person pleasure as they want. But I also don’t like to feel that things are boring or stagnant, so I might act to make things more interesting.

[MissDucki]

I would expect the exact dynamics to play out differently for each Ne type. From talking with an ILE, I get the impression his experience is fairly different, but don’t know enough to be able to elaborate more.

But from my own experience with an Si type: besides occasional times when one of us tried to be more “dominant,” I’m not sure that lens fits well. It’s easier to describe the dynamic as “playful.” Usually I would do something to see how she reacted and then determine what to do from there. Seeing her react to things was fun for me — a dynamic that carried over outside of sex as well. And she would playfully try to “instruct” me: admonish me or tell me to do something. That also is something she and SEIs in general like to do in normal life. I might try to get around her “orders” but liked when she asserted herself; the more assertive she was the more reluctant I was to disobey. But sometimes I would just break out of the dynamic and assert myself if I thought things were getting boring. So there was back-and-forth.

Speaking personally, I like to be “led” and to give the other person pleasure as they want. But I also don’t like to feel that things are boring or stagnant, so I might act to make things more interesting.

Spot on. Basically this. I will say, I am a little reluctant at first to 'order' LII or ILE around until I feel comfortable and they react well to it and encourage it. But that is more so a personal thing tho.

[FreelancePoliceman]

Spot on. Basically this. I will say, I am a little reluctant at first to 'order' LII or ILE around until I feel comfortable and they react well to it and encourage it. But that is more so a personal thing tho.

Have you had experience with infantiles? Is there anything you can think to add about their or your own attitude/actions? Didn’t see your previous post; apologies.

[MissDucki]

Have you had experience with infantiles? Is there anything you can think to add about their or your own attitude/actions? Didn’t see your previous post; apologies.

Lol I did but, I would like to add a bit of the Si perspective in regards to 'play fighting'. I love to tease and loved to be teased. There is so much fun in bantering back and forth with infantile. Lots of button pushing and yielding. Very childlike and playful in both inside and outside the bedroom. I had an ILE respond well when I would use his full name and get a bit naggy for some reason lol. Surprised me cause I don't usually get such a positive respond. Or that they want me to be in charge and be assertive. I am usually taking care of everybody else's needs so I don't always focus on mine as much and it's like they genuinely want me to be a bit selfish in that aspect which surprises me. I've had one close experience with an infantile for a short time but, I would do things a bit differently by letting that side naturally show more next time and be more selfish lol.
The only big issues for me is when button pushing goes too far. Sometimes, Ive just had them cross the line even when I have expressed a cease fire. I think a lot of the time I am often very expressive so I don't think they always realize the emotional crossing. Other then that, I find it a lot of fun!

[FreelancePoliceman]

I would do things a bit differently by letting that side naturally show more next time and be more selfish lol.

My ex was the same, having difficulty being "selfish." But I really like my partner to be! And she didn't really like it if I tried to be "selfish" myself; I suspect that'd also be the case for other SEI.

The only big issues for me is when button pushing goes too far. Sometimes, Ive just had them cross the line even when I have expressed a cease fire. I think a lot of the time I am often very expressive so I don't think they always realize the emotional crossing.

Yep, I agree this can be a problem. I would guess that being assertive and not being afraid to be "mean" sometimes should help. From my perspective it was difficult sometimes to know whether it was just joking or serious.

[Stray Cat]

I would not say that the Si caregiver is 'dominate' and the Ne infantile is the 'submissive. Like @necrosebud mentioned, the Si caregiver more so 'takes the lead'. Have you ever tried to control an infantile? LOL it is not going to happen Unlike victims, the worse thing you can do to an infantile is make them 'choose' or 'contain them. Especially in regards to seduction. IMO The Caregiver rather takes the lead on where the infantile wants to go sensation wise. Si is all about personal and internal sensations and since infantile are very receptive to it, I would think they would be more reactive of the Si caregiver taking the lead and showing them where to get the most bang for their buck so to speak. I think the roles may switch once the infantile gets comfortable and start using the Ne possibilities to show more options or alternatives. In the sense, Ne wants to try this possibility, gives the vision, and the Si can envision the sensation and make it happen. The roles tend to not be concrete, rather more so taking turns leading and following rather then dominating and submitting. That is how I would envision it theory wise and what I would rather have personally.

I would expect the exact dynamics to play out differently for each Ne type. From talking with an ILE, I get the impression his experience is fairly different, but don’t know enough to be able to elaborate more.

But from my own experience with an Si type: besides occasional times when one of us tried to be more “dominant,” I’m not sure that lens fits well. It’s easier to describe the dynamic as “playful.” Usually I would do something to see how she reacted and then determine what to do from there. Seeing her react to things was fun for me — a dynamic that carried over outside of sex as well. And she would playfully try to “instruct” me: admonish me or tell me to do something. That also is something she and SEIs in general like to do in normal life. I might try to get around her “orders” but liked when she asserted herself; the more assertive she was the more reluctant I was to disobey. But sometimes I would just break out of the dynamic and assert myself if I thought things were getting boring. So there was back-and-forth.

I really like to be “led” and to give the other person pleasure as they want. But I also don’t like to feel that things are boring or stagnant, so I might act to make things more interesting.

Cool, man. Good responses. Ne is my role but it juxtaposes my Se lead. When my mirage and I flirt, I go Ne but my instinct is to dominate through Se. My guess is, during a convo, my attitude will alternate between Ne & Se. I haven't really asked her if I've confused her but the ultimate goal is to have a good time anyway. People might suggest that I just use Se but that's a lame as fuck take. Getting decent at the role function, while being myself and seducing this chick is pretty ace.

[PinKDiGiT18]

Cool, man. Good responses. Ne is my role but it juxtaposes my Se lead. When my mirage and I flirt, I go Ne but my instinct is to dominate through Se. My guess is, during a convo, my attitude will alternate between Ne & Se. I haven't really asked her if I've confused her but the ultimate goal is to have a good time anyway. People might suggest that I just use Se but that's a lame as fuck take. Getting decent at the role function, while being myself and seducing this chick is pretty ace.

Mirage is viewed in the books as a lightweight intertype, but so far has the SEI been more fun than other types?

[Stray Cat]

Mirage is viewed in the books as a lightweight intertype, but so far has the SEI been more fun than other types?

Brief reply: SEI are my second favorite type at a close psychological distance for me personally

In other words...

I view relationships different cause I'm aware of what irritates me at a close psychological distance

- I don't favor rationals (even in own quadra)
- I don't favor extraverts
- I self supply my Ni DS well enough to make wise choices
- My Fi polr is shit. IEI & SEI got Fi demo
- Fe creative is pretty awesome

I probably wouldn't live with an Si-dom but this chick and I have matching subtypes, adore animals, discussing movies/documentaries, books and going on thrilling travels together.

You once mentioned Si/Ne get oriented toward needs & that Se/Ni get oriented toward goals. That's actually been helpful in this relationship.