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  1. #241
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @MissDucki, to add a full YouTube video instead of simply linking it, first copy the URL of the video, then open a new post and click your mouse at the point in the post where you want the video to appear (Before or after or in the middle of text) and then click on the green "film strip" icon on the bar at the top of the box. The icon should be second from the right. When the popup window opens, paste your URL into the space and click OK.

    Incidentally, the two people in the video that you linked seemed introverted to me and the seduction scene did nothing for me, although his approach might be distantly similar to my own. I often just tell a woman that I want to have sex with her, once we've reached a certain point.

    To give more detail, I'll watch her eyes, and if she seems to be open to the idea, I'll approach her with a hug and then a kiss, and if the kiss goes well, then hands under her clothes and then I'll tell her that I want to do more with her.

    On first viewing the video, I thought that they were both ILI, but upon second viewing, I could see her as SEI and him as ILE.
    He seems to be logically begging her for attention by laying out his case rationally (but enthusiastically) and she is the one who takes control of the situation by approaching him and pushing him onto the bed.

    TBH, that NEVER happened to me with my Caregiver SLI ex-wife, but I'm not an Infantile, and I could definitely imagine that scene in the video playing out between a Caregiver SEI and an Infantile ILE.

    Thank you! I will give it a try! I will click the little film strip icon and add the url to it:
    https://youtu.be/LFmbNP-nB84
    https://youtu.be/LFmbNP-nB84

    If it doesn't work, please blame my Te-PoLR

    Edit: I got it..MUHAHAHAHAH THANKS!

    There are more clips of them on youtube that I have seen. I just don't know if I show post more for an analysis. I just posted this specific video as it spoke to me and focuses on a more direct viewing of erotic attitudes.

    I like your take. I kinda figured it may appear more of the aggressive/victim erotic style but I may be wrong. It seems that the victim/aggressor style tends to focus more on non-verbal reactions then verbal reactions. While it may seem that the caregiver is more verbal reactions then non-verbal reactions.
    I relate to what I have bold-ed heavily. I respond really well to that. Enthusiastic rational case pleading with me taking the lead is *perfect*

    I do think Delta seems to have a bit of a different caregiver/victim style. My mom is an SLI and i've had infantile delta friends and they seem to respond a bit differently then I do. Same how the Gamma victim/aggressor style is a little different from Beta.
    Last edited by MissDucki; 07-18-2021 at 01:38 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    https://youtu.be/LFmbNP-nB84

    Okay, I just remember this clip and I want to include it in this thread. It can be debated whether it is more caregiver/infantile or aggressor/victim. I am curious what you may think. Just maybe we can interpret some scenes with erotic attitudes possibly. Either way, I love it. The characters had some time to get to know each other beforehand and Harry is Charlotte's divorce layer. If a man ever did what Harry did in the clip, I would exactly react like Charlotte

    Edit: If someone can explain to me how you guys are able to add like the full YouTube video without providing a link, that would be fully appreciated!

    That scene made me thought of SEI-IEE dynamic.


    PS: If you insert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFmbNP-nB84 instead of https://youtu.be/LFmbNP-nB84, it should work.

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    I am going to add some more clips cause I CAN NOW





    I find these videos interesting too in regards to their characters.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post


    Okay, I just remember this clip and I want to include it in this thread. It can be debated whether it is more caregiver/infantile or aggressor/victim. I am curious what you may think. Just maybe we can interpret some scenes with erotic attitudes possibly. Either way, I love it. The characters had some time to get to know each other beforehand and Harry is Charlotte's divorce layer. If a man ever did what Harry did in the clip, I would exactly react like Charlotte

    Edit: If someone can explain to me how you guys are able to add like the full YouTube video without providing a link, that would be fully appreciated!

    Edit 2: Thank you @Adam Strange and @myresearch! you guys rocks!
    I don't personally relate to it, but perhaps it makes more sense for Alphas.

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    This article breaks down the erotic attitudes as they differ between quadra...

    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...otic-Attitudes

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    This article breaks down the erotic attitudes as they differ between quadra...

    https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...otic-Attitudes
    I don’t entirely understand what they mean by outside sexuality

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    Quote Originally Posted by necrosebud View Post
    I don’t entirely understand what they mean by outside sexuality
    Outside sexuality probably refers to the intellectual realm that's mental rather anything concrete or physical

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    Outside sexuality probably refers to the intellectual realm that's mental rather anything concrete or physical
    But would this not be any intuitive type though
    they assign this quality to delta STs (even though I’ve read lit that says LSEs are conscious of their sexual attraction, but not as much their feelings)

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    That scene made me thought of SEI-IEE dynamic.


    PS: If you insert https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFmbNP-nB84 instead of https://youtu.be/LFmbNP-nB84, it should work.
    Judging by the amount of body is used by him I do not think he is infantile...

    Ne egos give very distinct sniffing and leaning around the place orienteering in the environment because they usually do not trust in sight alone.
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    Quote Originally Posted by necrosebud View Post
    But would this not be any intuitive type though
    they assign this quality to delta STs (even though I’ve read lit that says LSEs are conscious of their sexual attraction, but not as much their feelings)
    Si is an internal state. It doesn't favor aggressive sexuality but tender touching & the sentimentality they likely provide for them

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    Quote Originally Posted by pandemic candy View Post
    Then add a bit of Ne-playfulness then u get infantile vibes, eh?
    I dunno. I don't have Si-ego

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    @MissDucki ... just watched your Sex in the City video thing.

    Weird. I didn't expect her to pounce on him like that! I thought it was going to be a SEI/LIE conflictor situation where she rebuffs his advances and scolds him and angrily walks out. I was actually surprised and my Ni didn't see it coming whoa! That might be kinda what dual-seeking Ne is like sometimes?

    See, Ni doesn't know *everything.*

    And being so gay and homoerotic I'm obviously a bad judge of character of what women really want sexually.

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    @BandD

    Honestly, I am a straight up sucker if a guy is direct with his words in regards to his advances. Especially when I am feeling 'vulnerable' as Charlotte wasn't expecting Harry to still find her attractive in her glasses as she feels self conscious wearing them and doesn't view her in her glasses as 'sexy'. You can see his logical reasoning but that emotional depth behind his words that just mph! <3
    If there was a guy who knew me for sometime and was like "MissDucki, I think you are intelligent, cute and incredibly sexy. I have been dying to get my hands on you for the longest time. I want to lock you down and take you to bed. What does it take?" ....... I am basically puddy. Especially if I wasn't expecting it and I was feeling vulnerable in myself at the moment and he still says that. You got me. I am now officially smitten lol. I don't think a lot of ILE really tell you how they feel but, when they do with logical reason and you can feel the emotion behind the words, I find it very attractive. Edit: I find infantile's have this "I don't care, I want it anyway and I am going to take it" aspect to them that I also find attractive. Its endearing.

    Lol, no Ni, doesn't see everything but I still trust it least Ive had enough Ni friends that seem to prove me wrong and 'predict' so to speak. I don't understand the Ni wave length but I know my friends are masters so I trust them in regards to understanding and utilizing it with ease and precision more then me.
    Last edited by MissDucki; 07-22-2021 at 02:23 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    @MissDucki ... just watched your Sex in the City video thing.

    Weird. I didn't expect her to pounce on him like that! I thought it was going to be a SEI/LIE conflictor situation where she rebuffs his advances and scolds him and angrily walks out. I was actually surprised and my Ni didn't see it coming whoa! That might be kinda what dual-seeking Ne is like sometimes?

    See, Ni doesn't know *everything.*

    And being so gay and homoerotic I'm obviously a bad judge of character of what women really want sexually.

    I'm not SEI, but my impression of SEIs is that they are sexier and more forward (in a "nice" way) than any other type. But they only turn this on in the presence of the usually inert and clueless ILEs. Otherwise, their energy just goes into being "Fe-nice" to strangers.

    It's kind of interesting for me to compare them to ESIs. SEIs seem "light-sexy" and more playful, while ESIs seem "heavier" and more direct, like ESIs say, "Well, do you want to do this right now?" in a kind of demanding way, while SEIs seem to be more like, "Let me smother you with this ornamentation while feeding you cupcakes." It's the difference between an Aggressor and a Caregiver approach.

    That's my impression, but then, I'm sitting way over here on the other side of the table and I can't see things that well, when they are that far away.

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    Honestly, I am a straight up sucker if a guy is direct with his words in regards to his advances. Especially when I am feeling 'vulnerable' as Charlotte wasn't expecting Harry to still find her attractive in her glasses as she feels self conscious wearing them and doesn't view her in her glasses as 'sexy'. You can see his logical reasoning but that emotional depth behind his words that just mph! <3
    Yes I think that is sexy too when you are insecure about something the other person actually finds hot or doesn't care. It makes u feel safe and really even in aggressor/victim sex there needs to be a level of safety and trust for it to happen.

    And the scene also made me think of the saying 'Alpha f*cks or Beta bucks' and he had the Beta bucks lol.

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    while SEIs seem to be more like, "Let me smother you with this ornamentation while feeding you cupcakes." It's the difference between an Aggressor and a Caregiver approach.
    Haha that made me laugh but isn't that type of thing more ESE than SEI? re: ornamentation smothering and cupcake feeding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post


    Okay, I just remember this clip and I want to include it in this thread. It can be debated whether it is more caregiver/infantile or aggressor/victim. I am curious what you may think. Just maybe we can interpret some scenes with erotic attitudes possibly. Either way, I love it. The characters had some time to get to know each other beforehand and Harry is Charlotte's divorce layer. If a man ever did what Harry did in the clip, I would exactly react like Charlotte

    Edit: If someone can explain to me how you guys are able to add like the full YouTube video without providing a link, that would be fully appreciated!

    Edit 2: Thank you @Adam Strange and @myresearch! you guys rocks!
    Loool I hate to admit it but some of her reactions were definitely similar to how i would've reacted. The laughing and telling him to stop (even though she likes it), and her being "hot" and needing to open the window lol
    I do like when guys are super direct in that way

    Except I wouldn't have pounced on him like she did lol
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




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    Quote Originally Posted by fatgurl View Post
    Loool I hate to admit it but some of her reactions were definitely similar to how i would've reacted. The laughing and telling him to stop (even though she likes it), and her being "hot" and needing to open the window lol
    I do like when guys are super direct in that way

    Except I wouldn't have pounced on him like she did lol
    Lol I would have been turned off by his blatant attempts to show off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    @Adam Strange, I thought that female ESIs simply preferred to masturbate; they only need to borrow male parts every now and then - but they do give back control immediately after they've finished using them.

    a.k.a. I/O
    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @Rebelondeck, I had sex with an ESI when I was about 26, and that's close to how it went. We had fun. The LSI's were more give-and-take, but still similar in many ways. One LSI told me "I want to use you for a few minutes" and climbed on top. Lol.

    In contrast, the SLI was on Planet Caregiver. You need dinner? It's there. You need clean clothes and your socks folded? She's on it. You're in the car on a vacation to Disneyland and your nose starts running? She has Kleenex and anti-histamines in her purse. Plus a pen and notebook to make a note to buy more.
    It's good if you're an Infantile and you like that sort of thing.

    God, why didn't someone tell me about Erotic Attitudes before I got married?

    This is so true . I can't believe that its socionics related but it makes sense lol. The bold parts had me laughing. I've actually said something close to this to an LSI I'm with.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ImOutThere View Post
    This is so true . I can't believe that its socionics related but it makes sense lol. The bold parts had me laughing. I've actually said something close to this to an LSI I'm with.

    I have been talking with an ESI-Se lesbian and she said she likes men and even kissed one once, but she doesn't like their body parts used for reproduction.

    What the hell is wrong with the world? Maybe Se-creatives just think in these terms.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I have been talking with an ESI-Se lesbian and she said she likes men and even kissed one once, but she doesn't like their body parts used for reproduction.

    What the hell is wrong with the world? Maybe Se-creatives just think in these terms.

    Yeah its not that extreme for me, but it is a very aggressive and possessive sort of love. Victims like it I guess.

    She hates weakness and I'm not a submissive person, so its not like that. But that aggression is still there.

    "You are mine" is a typical phrase. Like a cat with a toy or something.

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    Should caregiver and aggressor women approach an infantile or victim man first? In more queer relationships I don’t see this as an issue of which gender has the erotic styles and there seems to be less adherence to gender norms typically (feel free to correct me if I am wrong) However, stereotypically straight relationship the man that approaches first and I have read that it may be better for the women with either of these styles to approach first. I have read personally that an SEI women may have to approach an ILE first. I have a lot of feelings about this but I would like some different options and views from others on this subject.

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    I can speak for straight relationships I've seen and ones I experienced, Men are often the first to make a move. It's just the way it works in society. Victim men approach an aggressor woman and things move normally, they play the courting game quite well.

    You may run into the problem of approaching an ILE that you're interested in because they aren't good at forming relationships and may be oblivious about how they can go about it.

    They may need to drop some very obvious signs that you're interested and open for a relationship if you aren't comfortable outright asking them out.

    I honestly think the romance styles are a little too gendered and it's obvious they're only talking about straight relationships.

    Its obvious aggressors are supposed to be knights in shining armor and victims are supposed to be the damsel.

    Infantiles are the little ladies and Caregivers the doting husband.

    I think it can unnecessarily confuse things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    Should caregiver and aggressor women approach an infantile or victim man first? In more queer relationships I don’t see this as an issue of which gender has the erotic styles and there seems to be less adherence to gender norms typically (feel free to correct me if I am wrong) However, stereotypically straight relationship the man that approaches first and I have read that it may be better for the women with either of these styles to approach first. I have read personally that an SEI women may have to approach an ILE first. I have a lot of feelings about this but I would like some different options and views from others on this subject.
    ILE's usually play socially role that seems to be attributed for better success but it usually is just a camouflage - at least in relations.
    The ILE is very sociable, however, he is not always able to create a successful family. He does not really understand the feeling of love. Love seems to occur outside of his control. Although it occurs that during life he may never be the one rejected or abandoned by another, even women of this psycho-type rarely agree to completely dedicate themselves to family.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    Should caregiver and aggressor women approach an infantile or victim man first? In more queer relationships I donít see this as an issue of which gender has the erotic styles and there seems to be less adherence to gender norms typically (feel free to correct me if I am wrong) However, stereotypically straight relationship the man that approaches first and I have read that it may be better for the women with either of these styles to approach first. I have read personally that an SEI women may have to approach an ILE first. I have a lot of feelings about this but I would like some different options and views from others on this subject.
    I've seen a female ESI make a successful approach

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    Spiritual victim- Iíve been thinking about this after laying in my bed and thinking about this in more depth. This can be completely different for everyone else but this is from my perspective.


    Iíve noticed that I loved men who can Ątrapď me in a spiritual sense. Like, I canít run away from their logical trap. For example, I do love to argue a point until both parties can refute the other or canít come to a compromise. Iíve noticed in romantic areas, Iíve always enjoyed it when a man is forward in his logical reasoning that I cant refute in his attraction and need toward me. Like in those videos that I posted in HarryĎs logical plea for Charlotte. I liked to be trapped like that and find every way I can escape that if I can. I donít want to escape but I need to test it and know. If I feel like my partner canít do that or it has been awhile since he as asserted an aggressor spiritual style, I become uninterested or less interested. Argue and trap me into a spiritual ideology that I canít refute.


    Mental caregiver- I have an emotional victim and mental caregiver friend. She seems to be more caregiver then me at times. However, itís more about the objective mental aspect of caregiving Iíve noticed then the physical one. She cooks more the me but Itís more so about providing the food then molding the food to the person. It seems to me that mental caregiver will take care of it in a mental sense while the infantile mental know they will be provided for in that sense and donít have to worry. Like she would make sure there was food to eat, take care of when sick etc. However that was more of an in the moment thing and day to day basis. For me itís both a preventative thing and alpha NT can be picky with their stuff so itís an active thing for me to see how they will respond physically and then actively change it to make them more comfortable.
    Itís different but similar. I find it funny as we would both show these attributes but play on different sides of caregiving.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    I’ve noticed that I loved men who can „trap“ me in a spiritual sense. Like, I can’t run away from their logical trap. For example, I do love to argue a point until both parties can refute the other or can’t come to a compromise. I’ve noticed in romantic areas, I’ve always enjoyed it when a man is forward in his logical reasoning that I cant refute in his attraction and need toward me. Like in those videos that I posted in Harry‘s logical plea for Charlotte. I liked to be trapped like that and find every way I can escape that if I can. I don’t want to escape but I need to test it and know. If I feel like my partner can’t do that or it has been awhile since he as asserted an aggressor spiritual style, I become uninterested or less interested. Argue and trap me into a spiritual ideology that I can’t refute.
    Only my thoughts, but this piece sounds like your Ti HA in action - which has its own place when it comes to erotic attitudes, of course. Having Ti role, I have a strong aversion to being put in any kind of vulnerable logical position. It is like a stranger touching a cat's stomach for me to have my viewpoints deconstructed by someone who has not been established as part of my "Fi community." I find it appealing knowing my partner could do so, but is subtle about it (which basically describes Ti ignoring). Knowing how my own Hidden Agenda function works, I can imagine how this ability to assert logical dominance in a partner would appeal to your HA - and SLEs and ILEs do what you've described here very frequently.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinKDiGiT18 View Post
    Having Ti role, I have a strong aversion to being put in any kind of vulnerable logical position. It is like a stranger touching a cat's stomach for me to have my viewpoints deconstructed by someone who has not been established as part of my "Fi community."
    I can understand this and I relate to it somewhat. I feel like some people only know how to connect with others through arguing logical points. So some random person just starts going on and on and trying to start a debate with me when I don't even know who they are, I can feel that same exact way. I'll just bow out, I don't really care about arguing its so tedious to me.

    Even on this forum, I don't have the patience to go back and forth with anyone. I think some types may like it and see it as engaging, its boring to me.
    What is good?óWhatever augments the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself, in man. What is evil?óWhatever springs from weakness. What is happiness?óThe feeling that power increasesóthat resistance is overcome.

  29. #269
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    @MissDucki

    However, stereotypically straight relationship the man that approaches first and I have read that it may be better for the women with either of these styles to approach first.
    According to Wikipedia, 97% of heterosexual females prefer the submissive role in romantic & sexual relationships. I have teased you guys too much for this and I have been too much of an asshole before with it but I think it's true lol. So yeah it's only natural that you want the man to approach first. If it won't turn you to be the approacher- I'm not sure you should try it. People shouldn't do something that doesn't feel right or natural for them or just doesn't work.

    and yeah in queer relationships its naturally more versatile but there is still the 'who wears the pants' type of thing going on. Women almost always end up wearing the pants because of the saying 'happy wife = happy life' but still want to be approached first. My dad probably wasn't an alpha male really (well he was really handsome...) I mean he could be nerdy and shy. My mom told me that she would NOT have dated him if he didn't approach first. Luckily he did, for the very fact of my existance lol.

    If you like a ILE man he needs to frankly stop being a pussy and approach you more. str8 females love when their boyfriends and husbands are all manly and dominant and shit and there's no shame in admitting it. I have more directly said this to a ILE guy I kinda like- but I don't know if that strategy works for straight females that much as being too blunt like that might backfire. I'm allowed to get away with it better maybe. But yeah I just tell a ILE to be more aggressive etc. Sometimes they can do it pretty good but yeah... I need a SLE I think lol.

    Regardless of the genders involved- I think you need typical dom/outgoing and sub/shy energy to create a lot of heat and fire, cuz its like putting batteries in the right way you know. But if it's 'too much' the dom guy will just break your heart too and it will end in heartbreak where ur calling ur gay best friend on the phone at 3AM while watching Sex in the City and eating ice cream. So I think you need mostly primal opposite but with a little bit of love and affection to tie it together.

    Most of the world is straight but a few are gay. Three of the letters in socionics duals are opposites but that last letter is the same. That sort of thing you know? In Yin-Yang there is the bit of the other in the deepest part of it all times- it's not a complete opposite. I've seen many relationships fail because it seemed so hot and straight and normal because the first few letters were compatible but the last one clashed!!!! So what they thought was pure bliss ended in narcissistic disaster.

    And her fate was avoided because she had a sassy gay Bandd. <3
    Last edited by BandD; 08-25-2021 at 05:38 AM.

  30. #270
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    Thanks @BandD
    I am seriously glad for your take. It’s good to know that what I want is not crazy!


    I am just frustrated to say the least. I really don’t do well with social “games” like dating in the sense, I am always confused on what to do to get what I want because it feels very Te like to me and well….Te POLR LMAO :cries: I don’t do well with being Se like realism. Plus my dialectical algorithmic thinking style has been ramped up with this kind of stuff, all I see are contradictions!


    I seem to attract a lot of Beta type 7 harmonizing ST men or Delta NF men for some reason. I don’t know what it is about me. I come across very different from the site. I’ve been told I come across closed off and shy. But, a lot of the time I don’t like how they approach me either. With ST men I get their wish washy-ness that I don’t like (I also tend to get a bit turned off by their Se bravo at times and aggressor style) and I often find the Delta NF to be too patronizing for my taste.




    I don’t like approaching. It’s not something natural to me and with anything I got to start I do it to just get things over with and the ball moving. I would heavily prefer someone else do that. I like more dominate outgoing men. If I have to act like a man and be more masculine, it really pisses me off (and I have had to me the “man” more time then I would like in my life, I don’t want that in a romantic relationship). I am heavily attracted to naturally territorial/protective and straightforward/blunt men. Not in an ST way though, NT men go about it differently. The rare approaches or ones that I like often start with talking about something interesting (Ne) and that always got me attention while keeping heavy expectations off of me. Plus they don’t assume crap and ask me which is a breath of fresh air. Just it seems that the ILE men like that out there don’t find me attractive enough to approach?!?! I don’t what I am doing wrong!!!


    Like, I know I would be a good SEI partner. Just, I can’t seem to attract the right kind of guy that I want. I still want to be myself just, I don’t know which parts I need to lean on more to attract them….ahh romance and life~

  31. #271
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    @MissDucki

    The most wishy-washy guy I met was a IEE. I don't really associate wishy-washyness with ST men. They're the opposite of that to me. If they want to rob a gas station, they'll just do it lol. They could probably sometimes re-think their actions through better and be more wise and contemplative if they should do something or not ((be more "wishy-washy" in the right dosages)) but yeah eww that trait just isn't attractive.

    Plus my dialectical algorithmic thinking style has been ramped up with this kind of stuff, all I see are contradictions!

    The right guy I think cuts through your contradictions and shows his love/passion for u. Kind of a corny analogy but reminds me of female energy being like foilage and male energy being like an axe that cuts the foilage down to forge a path. Male energy cuts everything down so a path or direction can be followed through and so things don't get lost in overgrown greenery. If a guy isn't "cutting things down" enough I think he's either being a pussy - or he just doesn't like you enough in that way to do that for you. And yeah society has their own Shadow relation with this stuff how they get all mad and pissed off at males for cutting crap down but at the same time we love it and need it and it helps everything.

    me to timber/wacey (hot gay mascuilne Chad on this forum): "You arrogant jerk how could you cut down that poor defenseless tree like that?"

    ((...sees how hot he looks doing it with his shirt off and noms his face off and sleeps with him anyway))

    Yeah see- str8 female/gay guy needs this sort of thing so much that we will sleep with a guy anyway if he has that even if he also doesn't share our heart or even treat us that well because that stuff is just more important than the other things even if it's not that PC to say so. It's not everything of course - you still need Disney love and sameness but the masculine containment is always going to take priority and #1 precedence.. That is just the way it is. But yeah over time in the nitty gritty of life and life experience I think we all learn not to let that turn into an abuse scenerio or a situation where it's too sadistic (str8 relationships can stereotypically be too white trash sadistic like if you lack the 'love' side of things). It is a balancing act.

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