ISTp question

**Away** · 10-28-2006, 10:10 PM

Hello, my name is Away and I am an ISTP

I wrote that on purpose, because being an ISTP sometimes really feels like it's a disease or something

By now you can see that I am in a happy mood, it's sort of like that, but I still have an important question to ask, since the moods kind of shift way too often and more often than not they turn into pure crap.

So far I know, from both my own experience annd from reading, that ISTP kind of contradict themselves. On the one hand they are built to scare people away from themselves, on the other hand they are very adventurous, active and willing to try new things. Well the truth is, these two things don't get along too well in a single person, unless you're willing to hit the clubs alone. I am sorry if the post isn't logical, I am a bit too excited for my own liking as I am writing this and besides that I am trying to explain things I never ever talked or wrote about.

So if I had to phrase my problem in a few words: I am really outgoing and active, others just don't know it!

So I know that I can be open and social, I actually say yes to every exciting proposal that comes my way. This side in me really comes out when all the barriers fall, when I am a bit drunk for example, you should see me at bars then, one would never guess I am an ISTp. But of course there is the everyday life, I was once driving in a bus and when I saw my reflection in the window my thought was "Why the hell am I so grumpy?". At that moment I realised it, even my face has a "I don't talk, I bite!" sign written all over it, this is topped with the unfriendly behaviour and I know that people simply think that I am not worth to be bothered with. Although I want to be friendly, it somehow doesn't work!

So now I am viewed as a really boring person by all except a few close friends. It's a pain, especially since I NOT like that and I don't want to be like that! So it has grown into an endless circle, I am viewed as boring, so people speak less, so I grow even more quiet, so people speak even less etc.

So are there any ISTPs who have won a fight against themselves? How can I loosen the barriers and let the exciting me come out? How can I be an interesting person to speak to?

The barriers that I talk about grew on me because of this bloody circle. I became quite shy, really bothered by how I look etc. Yet I know that these barriers are artificial, since in the situation mentioned above they disappear. That makes it even harder to return to everyday life as they return, it's like somebody shows you heaven and then throws you back into hell.

I know it is possible! In the ISTP description it says that those who manage to open up are really social people!

Please add your experiences!!! I shall be MOST grateful!

PS I am 100% sure that I am an ISTP

**Rocky** · 10-28-2006, 11:09 PM

Originally Posted by Away

So I know that I can be open and social, I actually say yes to every exciting proposal that comes my way. This side in me really comes out when all the barriers fall, when I am a bit drunk for example, you should see me at bars then, one would never guess I am an ISTp. But of course there is the everyday life, I was once driving in a bus and when I saw my reflection in the window my thought was "Why the hell am I so grumpy?". At that moment I realised it, even my face has a "I don't talk, I bite!" sign written all over it, this is topped with the unfriendly behaviour and I know that people simply think that I am not worth to be bothered with. Although I want to be friendly, it somehow doesn't work!

This sounds familiar.

I relate it to only have a limited amount of energy for those things. For example, at night when I go out to bars and such, I'm known for being a bit of an energetic dancer, and I enjoy being around a lot of people. However fun that is, I can't be like that all the time. So when it's not "most neccesary" to use my energy, I guess I subconsciouly don't. And yeah, I can't be all sugery sweet all the time... pretty much emotionless...

The barriers that I talk about grew on me because of this bloody circle. I became quite shy, really bothered by how I look etc. Yet I know that these barriers are artificial, since in the situation mentioned above they disappear. That makes it even harder to return to everyday life as they return, it's like somebody shows you heaven and then throws you back into hell.

Ehh... I guess the first thing is just accepting that you are naturally inhibited and to not let it bother you. Doing things that feel uncomfortable help too.

**meatburger** · 10-29-2006, 01:12 AM

Originally Posted by Away

Hello, my name is Away and I am an ISTP

lol

So are there any ISTPs who have won a fight against themselves?

No there isn't. You can never win a fight against yourself. That is part of whats holding you back. You are seeing yourself as your own enemy. Accept who you are. Dont try to be someone your not. Work with yourself. Your ISTp, equally as potent as everyone else :wink:

How can I loosen the barriers and let the exciting me come out?

Follow your dreams. keep doing exciting things if that's what stimulates you. The more you do what you want, the more you will project the best parts of yourself. People will notice this and want to be around you.

**Away** · 10-29-2006, 06:45 PM

I find it hard to believe that I just have to accept it and live with it. Alright, I understand that I have my limitations, but I still should be able to change myself within them, there is even a topic about outgoing ISTPs below.

I know it's hard to get an ISTP to talk or reply in a topic, but please, share how and what have you tried to alter in yourself, has it worked or not, what where the results and so on. Such information can benefit everybody.

Accepting something and just going with the flow seems the way of the weak to me, am I the only one who thinks like that?

**Slacker** · 10-29-2006, 06:53 PM

The ISTps I know seem to have a friend or girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/whatever who helps them get into social activities and conversations.

You just need an entry point, right? Once you're in, you're fine with being more social?

**Away** · 10-29-2006, 07:24 PM

I have entry points, not many but enough. It's the point where I am in already and then I shut myself of, it's kind of automatic, eventhough I don't want to. It doesn't always go like that, but most of the time. It's kind of weird to explain, but knowing or being an ISTP gives a good picture.

**jessica129** · 10-29-2006, 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by Slacker Mom

The ISTps I know seem to have a friend or girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/whatever who helps them get into social activities and conversations.

You just need an entry point, right? Once you're in, you're fine with being more social?

How does one go about getting a boyfriend in the first place, though? I'm not trying to be comical about this, but the only time I can be social is if i'm drunk. I wouldn't mind it, but becoming an alcoholic isn't really on my list of things to do. I generally have no problem meeting guys when i go out, but, again, either we're both drunk or I'm drunk and that doesn't exactly lead to much other than...well..you know. lol, i'm so sick of feeling sorry for myself. I think what I really need to do is just come to accept that my eggs are going to dry up any day now and that this is just my life.

**meatburger** · 10-29-2006, 10:49 PM

Wherever you ISTps go im destined to want to make you happier

I just saw this movie of this chick who was holding a bow and arrow with her feet. She was quite short and athletic, she looked quite firery. Got me hot. She could be an ISTp.

Jessica, if no one else wants your eggs i will gladly have them. I will make an Omlette

**cracka** · 10-29-2006, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by meatburger

Jessica, if no one else wants your eggs i will gladly have them. I will make an Omlette

hahaha, i'm sure that's gonna be the sweetest thing she'll hear all day...you're such a good guy...lol

**Sniper Kitten** · 10-30-2006, 12:34 AM

Originally Posted by Away

So if I had to phrase my problem in a few words: I am really outgoing and active, others just don't know it!

haha! ditto!...sorta…

Hey Away, I understand you completely. I went through a period where I was in the same situation that you are going through; and I would think the same thing you wrote:
“I find it hard to believe that I just have to accept it and live with it…Accepting something and just going with the flow seems the way of the weak to me, am I the only one who thinks like that?”

Well, I don’t know if I can give you any good advice of my own since I myself am still figuring things out. But I will backup what Meatburger wrote:

So are there any ISTPs who have won a fight against themselves?

No there isn't. You can never win a fight against yourself. That is part of whats holding you back. You are seeing yourself as your own enemy. Accept who you are. Dont try to be someone your not. Work with yourself. Your ISTp, equally as potent as everyone else :wink:

So true.

How can I loosen the barriers and let the exciting me come out?

Follow your dreams. keep doing exciting things if that's what stimulates you. The more you do what you want, the more you will project the best parts of yourself. People will notice this and want to be around you.

Yes, also very true. And what Slacker Mom wrote too, but you already have that…

**olduser** · 10-30-2006, 12:45 AM

Originally Posted by jessica129

Originally Posted by Slacker Mom

The ISTps I know seem to have a friend or girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/whatever who helps them get into social activities and conversations.

You just need an entry point, right? Once you're in, you're fine with being more social?

How does one go about getting a boyfriend in the first place, though? I'm not trying to be comical about this, but the only time I can be social is if i'm drunk. I wouldn't mind it, but becoming an alcoholic isn't really on my list of things to do. I generally have no problem meeting guys when i go out, but, again, either we're both drunk or I'm drunk and that doesn't exactly lead to much other than...well..you know. lol, i'm so sick of feeling sorry for myself. I think what I really need to do is just come to accept that my eggs are going to dry up any day now and that this is just my life.

if getting drunk is the only way you meet guys then the guys are probably doing/thinking the exact same thing. Maybe find people who aren't drunk all the time, and are able to be social and have fun without alcohol?

**Slacker** · 10-30-2006, 12:49 AM

Originally Posted by jessica129

Originally Posted by Slacker Mom

The ISTps I know seem to have a friend or girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/whatever who helps them get into social activities and conversations.

You just need an entry point, right? Once you're in, you're fine with being more social?

How does one go about getting a boyfriend in the first place, though? I'm not trying to be comical about this, but the only time I can be social is if i'm drunk. I wouldn't mind it, but becoming an alcoholic isn't really on my list of things to do. I generally have no problem meeting guys when i go out, but, again, either we're both drunk or I'm drunk and that doesn't exactly lead to much other than...well..you know. lol, i'm so sick of feeling sorry for myself. I think what I really need to do is just come to accept that my eggs are going to dry up any day now and that this is just my life.

My husband was drunk when we met! I've often wondered what would have happened if he'd been sober, like if we would have started talking or anything.

I know it's a cliche but I really think the thing is to be yourself, because then you'll attract people who are attracted to people like you. And you probably will meet someone you will love eventually. Most people do end up getting married and having kids eventually. Even most ISTps.

I wondered at several points in my life if I'd ever get married. But it wasn't about whether I'd meet people. It was about whether I'd meet people whom I could tolerate AND who could tolerate me. I'd meet guys who met one or the other, but finding someone who met both was a bit tricky.

**meatburger** · 10-30-2006, 05:50 AM

hehe yeah having just the right amount of alcohol can really help things along, just as long as you dont have too much.

I read a description of ENFp's that they generally dont settle down until they are 40 or so lol. They like the possibilities too much. It said if an ENFp guy hasn't had too many beautiful females then he can settle down earlier.

Im definately in the not too many beautiful female category. I had an appearance issue when i was younger that wrote me off from about ages 15 - 21 so girls weren't an option. Now im out of the game.

Socionics has hindered my chances of getting laid as i cant be bothered getting with just "anyone" anymore. It just seems like some horrible meat market.

I would be happy to settle down or to keep things open. Im still very young :wink:

**ESTP** · 01-03-2007, 08:23 PM

This sounds awfully familiar away

**meatburger** · 01-04-2007, 04:41 AM

There is a really cute ENFp at work who im friends with. Her ISTp friend often comes in at lunch time to sit with her. She hasn't given me much attention, i dont think she understood me.

Today she comes in and she says shes comming to my goodbye lunch and she's calling me Timmy and talking to me lol. Im thinking in my head "um you have never talked to me and now you start when im leaving" lol. It could be because im being very ENFp at the moment i just dont care..

I do like her tho and shes Engaged to be married so it doesn't really matter though. Damn ISTps

**Gilly** · 01-04-2007, 04:51 AM

Originally Posted by jessica129

I think what I really need to do is just come to accept that my eggs are going to dry up any day now and that this is just my life.

And deprive the gene pool? So selfish!

Just have kids with me. We'll have incredibly gorgeous children, and then we can go on our merry ways!

**jessica129** · 01-04-2007, 03:56 PM

haha, lets get too it!

**ESTP** · 01-04-2007, 06:26 PM

you know you love us

**ESTP** · 01-04-2007, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by meatburger

Damn ISTps

you know you love us

**Gilly** · 01-04-2007, 11:17 PM

Originally Posted by jessica129

haha, lets get too it!

I'm ready when you are :wink:

**meatburger** · 01-06-2007, 12:35 AM

Originally Posted by ISTP

Originally Posted by meatburger

Damn ISTps

you know you love us

Yeah i do

I just had my going away lunch yesterday. An ISTp that i haven't even known that long came in from his annual leave. He came in and at 11:15am and sat next to me the whole time until 3:00pm. I then did my goodbyes and he came back out drinking with a group of us till about 10:00pm. Hes a really chill guy he just seems so relaxed to me. We just genuinely like each other its really cool.

He got a phone call while we were at lunch and told me a story about how some dudes have been harassing his friends sister. They drove around to pick a fight but drove off because they were outnumbered. The ISTp dude just says to me, Basically we are going to go to there house bash them all up. We will also tell the police about the death threats to dissuade them from revenge. I just had to laugh about how calm and serious he was about it. Hes about 6'4 and has a massive build. ISTp's definately aren't the type to fuck around with

My ESFp Ex happened to come aswell. When we left she kissed me and tells me that she misses what she her son and i had. God she seems to emotionally fragile it made me feel really sad. I left and told her i love her as a friend