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Thread: What's your dad's socionics type?

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    Default What's your dad's socionics type?

    I think of this thread as a way to look at different types as fathers. What type was your dad? And what was he like as a father?


    I'll start.

    My dad is IEI. He's a great dad for the most part. When I was growing up he read to me every night. He read me lord of the rings, mark twain, Shakespeare, Dune, and many others. He taught me kung fu and read taoism to me. My fondest memories of him are of when he took me hiking or when he brushed my hair.

    My father brushed my hair every night because my ESE mom was hurting my head. He'd hang crystals in the window, play the song "She's a rainbow" by the rolling stones and softly brush my hair every morning and every night.

    When I turned 13 he told me all the boys were masturbating and not to let them hug me. I said "Are you sure?" He said "Have you seen her dressed in blue?"

    Lol I still love the song and who cares about male attention? Not me.

    Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

    -Carl Jung

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    My dad is SEI and my mom is EIE.

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    M dad is probably SLI. Tried to maximized his sensing among family life. Low work ambition, high ambition for experiencing things when he is having free time. Optimized his life that way: there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to increased paycheck and this where he is kicking 99 % LIE's sorry arses.

    He is interested in art and creating art and have had few exhibitions. It took him a while because he was pressured to have certain career. He made sure that all of his children had 100 % freedom to choose what they wanted for life. He has absolutely never interfered our life or lifestyle.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
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    Sincerely yours,
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    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

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    chriscorey's Avatar
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    Gee thanks. It's unfortunate that there's no information about type given when it comes to parenting ...
    Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

    -Carl Jung

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    My dad is ILE and he has pretty much always let me do what I want, only giving advice and teaching things such as computer programming, mathematics, languages and science. Occasionally practical things, but I surpassed him in those skills in my 20s already. His own parents were LIE and ESI who were strict in parenting style, so he decided that he would be relaxed with his own children. He has remarked sometimes how I remind him of his own father, triggered by Se/Ni traits I think, he doesn't really understand the point of them but can see the differences.

    Both me and dad being Fi polr our conversations about relationships have always been awkward and few, but he has never in my life judged me for whatever I have done, only trying to understand it in a Ti way and sometimes offering some advice based on his own experiences. These days our discussions are mostly joking in nature, him often making jokes which are hit and miss for me depending on how much they're Ne or Ti based.

    Mom is SEI and my siblings are also both Si/Ne valuing, which always made me stood out as a "black sheep" compared to the rest of the family, some exes (the Si/Ne valuing ones) even half-jokingly asking if I was adopted or what's up with me being so different from my family. I always thought they were too soft, too democratic, too non-competitive and non-confrontational, lacking ambition and focusing on "uncool" things.
    And yeah, both my parents and grandparents truly are/were duals. My parents have been happily married for over 40 years (grandparents were also their whole life from the 20s), so my view of a normal marriage from home was duality which I think badly prepared me for the reality of non-duality romantic relationships and communication issues that can arise in them.

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    so lost I need NiTe myself one's Avatar
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    Haven’t met, but based on the letters obviously Ethical. If I would guess, IEI.

    What type of father he is - absent
    This is why I take ITR seriously, SLI and IEI is a disaster of a couple. Te kills IEI.
    When I was younger and bored one time I scavenged the house and found some books of his about occult and dream interpretation. I could say he pushed me in the right direction Ni-wise at least even though he is absent.
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    Mine's an ILI-Te

    He married my mom, ESE-Fe. She's his conflictor. This is relevant cause I'm not sure he could ever fully be ILI with my mom being his conflictor. I love both but, in my opinion, being married to your conflictor for 35 years sucks

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    I didnt really know my birth dad very well but based on the life he lived, in hindsight seems very SLI. He was a steel draftsman and did some woodwork in his free time. I always loved going to stay at his place because he had a giant desk for drafting that I could draw on and dream of being a cartoonist who had his own similar desk and his neighbor had a computer I could play space pinball on all day.
    My stepdad is LSI. He was in the military and now works for the police. He has been the source of reliability for our family and helped us escape poverty when I was a preteen. He is fun to argue with and has a weird sense of humor. We often commiserate over having to attend family gatherings

    Both of them were very generous. I remember my birth dad bought me my first tv, my first GameBoy, my Dreamcast, and one time scored me a whole tupperware container of sega genesis and Nintendo games from a friend of a friend of his.

    My stepdad gives freely of his time and money and has made it so that I'm debt free after college, is always trying to find an excuse to buy me something, etc.
    Last edited by ouronis; 04-22-2021 at 12:31 PM.

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    ILE. Absent from my childhood after my parents divorced lol. He randomly called me for my 23rd birthday, and we have maintained sporadic contact since then.

    I remember playing Chess with him when I was like 5. He’s a great Chess player. He also taught me a lot of math around that time.

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    Disrupting your illusory reality Megatrop's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    My dad is ILE and he has pretty much always let me do what I want, only giving advice and teaching things such as computer programming, mathematics, languages and science. Occasionally practical things, but I surpassed him in those skills in my 20s already. His own parents were LIE and ESI who were strict in parenting style, so he decided that he would be relaxed with his own children. He has remarked sometimes how I remind him of his own father, triggered by Se/Ni traits I think, he doesn't really understand the point of them but can see the differences.

    Both me and dad being Fi polr our conversations about relationships have always been awkward and few, but he has never in my life judged me for whatever I have done, only trying to understand it in a Ti way and sometimes offering some advice based on his own experiences. These days our discussions are mostly joking in nature, him often making jokes which are hit and miss for me depending on how much they're Ne or Ti based.

    Mom is SEI and my siblings are also both Si/Ne valuing, which always made me stood out as a "black sheep" compared to the rest of the family, some exes (the Si/Ne valuing ones) even half-jokingly asking if I was adopted or what's up with me being so different from my family. I always thought they were too soft, too democratic, too non-competitive and non-confrontational, lacking ambition and focusing on "uncool" things.
    And yeah, both my parents and grandparents truly are/were duals. My parents have been happily married for over 40 years (grandparents were also their whole life from the 20s), so my view of a normal marriage from home was duality which I think badly prepared me for the reality of non-duality romantic relationships and communication issues that can arise in them.
    So your parents are duals..tell me about it: did they have a better relationship than the people around?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    So your parents are duals..tell me about it: did they have a better relationship than the people around?
    I think their relationship is very natural and resilent. Of course, they fight sometimes, but it never escalates beyond a certain point and quickly bounces back. My mom (not very seriously) complains about my dad being childish and nerdy but at the same time loves his intellect and resourcefulness. Dad jokes about mom being dumb, unintellectual and jumping to incorrect conclusions but at the same time probably loves it.
    Before socionics, I didn't even realize that this was not a common case with romantic relationships, and that communication issues don't automatically resolve themselves like they do in duality. And that only in positive ITRs your strengths do not hurt the weaknesses of the other party and vice versa.

    Compared to many other relationships I know and have myself experienced, yes, duality is very good.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    I think their relationship is very natural and resilent. Of course, they fight sometimes, but it never escalates beyond a certain point and quickly bounces back. My mom (not very seriously) complains about my dad being childish and nerdy but at the same time loves his intellect and resourcefulness. Dad jokes about mom being dumb, unintellectual and jumping to incorrect conclusions but at the same time probably loves it.
    Before socionics, I didn't even realize that this was not a common case with romantic relationships, and that communication issues don't automatically resolve themselves like they do in duality. And that only in positive ITRs your strengths do not hurt the weaknesses of the other party and vice versa.

    Compared to many other relationships I know and have myself experienced, yes, duality is very good.
    This should be carved in stone.


    Now that we have established that Duality is good, we have to determine which Duality is best? The Dual with the cute ass or the saucy smile?

    Lol.

    Stock photo of ESI saucy smile: https://www.ephotozine.com/photo/saucy-smile--52063042

    Don't quote. Don't even reply to this. I have no desire to derail this thread.

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    My father may have been SXI but I can't really be sure because his alcoholism masked everything that I saw even though he went to work relatively sober, and was very successful and well respected. He started drinking immediately after work and was usually feeling no pain by the time he arrived home. He was rather adept with tools and loved building things in his spare time (4 houses, 2 cottages and several boats); he also tried to ingratiate himself with almost everyone he met. As a kid, I wished that my parents were divorced because they verbally fought almost daily - with my mother (ESTj) winning every time and my father skulking away to drink even more. He treated me respectfully; he was a happy drunk but often incoherent. He was self-destructive, which certainly isn't typical for SXIs, and died at 47.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    I’m starting to rethink my dads type. I thought for a long while he was SLI, but now I’m thinking he’s possibly ILI instead.

    he owns his own excavation business, and has for 30 years. It wasn’t really what he chose to do. My grandfather owned his own excavating business and he pretty much made my father work for him from a very young age. So he had a lot of experience with it, but I don’t think he ever had or has considered doing anything else.

    well he’s very private, quiet, sarcastic, critical, and can be kind of rude. But he’s always been nice to me lol. he doesn’t have any interest in traveling, has never really wanted to see other places. He is always busy working and never wants to take time off. He also wears the same thing pretty much. Jeans and a plane t, sometimes a baseball hat (whoever gave him one for free). My mother talks about his lack of hygiene and we joked about when the last time dad probably took a shower last time we talked. My mom- “ oh aster, he stinks” lol and then we talked about whether he cared or not. I personally don’t care and thinks it’s pretty funny, but my mom is disgusted and embarrassed.

    dad is pretty chill. He likes to sit out in the barn and has pet cats that he’s pretty fond of. He plants vegetables beside his barn in the summer and has an affinity for grapefruits that he
    gets pretty enthusiastic about. He’s pretty good at relaxing after a hard day of work, and he has worked hard all of his life.

    he hasn’t been an extremely involved dad. He was mostly working when I was growing up and always looked to mom to deal with me. He never disciplined me. We’d play video games, chess and board games at night,
    especially in the winter evenings. Pretty heated Ping pong tournaments in the summer that were extremely fun. A few times he took me fishing and camping. Sometimes he’s take me places with him. But he was always a consistent in my life. A great provider. I know he’d always be there for me if I needed him. But he really prefers to work lol

    but he’s hard to get to know and pretty quiet. Doesn’t talk about himself that much. It’s hard telling what exactly is going on in that head of his

    i know I used sit on our dinosaur computer, typing away on Microsoft word, fantasy stories I used to write. I’d spend days writing. And dad would read my stories. One day I came home and he had been writing his own story, about some kind of dark mermaid. And it was extremely descriptive...and just dark...and I was surprised how good it was. The guy is a mystery, something to be studied lol

     
    Last edited by aster; 04-22-2021 at 04:17 PM.
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    Beta ST. Facially he is the Mexican equivalent of Zhukov no joke.

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    LSE control freak.

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    LIE

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    Dad - same type as Joseph Stalin.
    Mom - same type as Adolph H!tler.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerxe View Post
    Dad - same type as Joseph Stalin.
    Mom - same type as Adolph H!tler.
    Sounds just lovely - a duality.
    Do they love to fight?
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
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    Father - LII
    Mother - SEI

    married for 30 years, although they had their problems when I was a teenager. mom went from being normalsing to harmonising as a result. heavy arguments are almost non-existent. studying socionics made me aware how lucky I got, since good ITR are very rare.

    my father is very conscientious and quite boring, but easy to get along with. spends most of his time working. he will retire in 100 days. dunno what he will do after that tbh.

    my father is very anti-Te. you can scientifically prove that something is right and he will still insist on his own way. he despises capitalism and was a socialist when he was younger and politically active. I share some of his views, but I'm surprised that he can't see that a lot of people simply don't want to work and stay at home 24/7. his lack of openess was the reason for many conlicts in my youth, but that's just a common dynamic between normalising parents and creative subtype children.
    Last edited by Alive; 04-22-2021 at 06:47 PM.

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    SEE Dad
    ESI Mom

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    Dad's LSI-Se. We are polar opposites. I still don't get anything he does and can't stay with him more than 24 hours or I turn crazy. Absent dad is good dad in my case... ��
    I rarely feel alone. I rarely talk to anyone, yet in my head i have the most amazing, the most fantastic discussions with the people in my life. In real life, what most people talk about is several orders of magnitude lesser than their inner experiences. Most people never reveal the singularity of their subjective experience.
    Maybe I should learn to explore other people's consciousness. Maybe I should aim for a real space between me and others. Instead of cultivating monologues and fantasies. It's hard, but the alternative to this seems to be madness. ~ lkdhf qkb

    Life is soup. I'm fork


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    Ксеркс, царь царей xerx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrightDemonSheep96 View Post
    Do they love to fight?
    Yes. Oh, yes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerxe View Post
    Dad - same type as Joseph Stalin.
    Mom - same type as Adolph H!tler.
    What type was Stalin?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    What type was Stalin?
    That guy was def SLE-Se

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    Ксеркс, царь царей xerx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    What type was Stalin?
    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    That guy was def SLE-Se
    Pro-socionists consider him LSI, but SLE isn't too far off.

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    Dad - IEE 3w4. He is all about success and always taught me and my sister to not be an anti-te loser and to look down on anti-te losers. He is very succesful himself.

    Mom - Some Si ego? Not ESE. She passed so I can barely remember anything. Before dying she told my dad to protect my sister because she was fragile, while telling him that I am a strong boy and will do fine. I am actually a mess but ok

    From what i am told their relationship was great. Both were lawyers (my dad still is while being 61 years old. Though he is also a teacher and other stuff. He does a lot of things.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerxe View Post
    Pro-socionists consider him LSI, but SLE isn't too far off.
    Shaved clean he resembles an SLE-Ti more than an SLE-SE. Probably best to V.I. clean shaven people. Then again, opinions are opinions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    Shaved clean he resembles an SLE-Ti more than an SLE-SE. Probably best to V.I. clean shaven people. Then again, opinions are opinions.
    Maybe. The 1980's porn mustache could be throwing me off.

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    Dad is LII and mom is SEE. I can safely say that conflictor relationships suck to be around. I actually managed to get my mom to take gulenko's test, and she got IEE, but after a while I realized that there is way too much Se in her for her to be IEE. My dad is a pretty standard LII, socially inept, easy to talk with(as an ILE), programmer. Mom on the other hand has almost defined how SEE's look to me, which is pretty dumb, yet very confident, and can't take no for an answer. Together, they make a perfectly shitty couple, because everyone though I'd consider my mom very mature and my dad at least mildly so, they can't talk to each other. Any disagreement at all turns into immediate conflict, and having to sit listening to them is most painful knowing that I can't stop them at all. Seeing how my parents talk sometimes makes me worried about meeting an ESI.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    Dad is LII and mom is SEE. I can safely say that conflictor relationships suck to be around. I actually managed to get my mom to take gulenko's test, and she got IEE, but after a while I realized that there is way too much Se in her for her to be IEE. My dad is a pretty standard LII, socially inept, easy to talk with(as an ILE), programmer. Mom on the other hand has almost defined how SEE's look to me, which is pretty dumb, yet very confident, and can't take no for an answer. Together, they make a perfectly shitty couple, because everyone though I'd consider my mom very mature and my dad at least mildly so, they can't talk to each other. Any disagreement at all turns into immediate conflict, and having to sit listening to them is most painful knowing that I can't stop them at all. Seeing how my parents talk sometimes makes me worried about meeting an ESI.
    Don't worry about meeting your Conflictors. It will be equally painful for both of you, so it will be easy to do the right and intelligent thing and politely disengage. Just be the better man and keep things light and polite and brief, because you know the territory and they don't, so the results are up to you.

    Please note, your Conflictors can look very much like your Duals. At least, I've found that SEI's look a lot like ESI's. Just compare the function dimensions. They are the same, except for being flipped, valued and unvalued. So they can easily look alike. They are in a sense the same person. Just be aware that interacting with them will either be very painful in the case of a Conflictor, and nearly effortless in the case of a Dual.

    Personally, I like most of the SEI's I've met. I mean, I really do. But I also treat them like Plutonium bomb cores; You can spend a short time near them, or a longer time farther away, but eventually, too much of them will kill you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    ....Please note, your Conflictors can look very much like your Duals. At least, I've found that SEI's look a lot like ESI's........
    They don't communicate the same way but this differentiation is lost over the internet. LIEs like all Ejs and Ips tend to communicate by metaphorically moving in close and becoming interactive. ESIs like all Ijs and Eps tend to maintain distance and objectivity; they'll seem more stand-offish or aloof than SEIs. A dual may take some getting use to whereas conflicting types (which aren't the worst relationships) have a ring of familiarity in communication style; the latter may even seem more attractive because of it. I certainly had that difference in style from my parents.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    LII.

    He was a good listener, very deeply empathetic but also incredibly logical and knew about so much. Had T type insufferable know-it-all-ism. I was sort of like the Willow to his Giles. "Geez, is there anything you don't know everything about?" Liked to store facts in his head and was internally kind of 'nerdy' but had the aesthetics of a good looking Chad. (when he was younger he wore leather jackets and smoked and was kind of bad boy ish and so women were often into him lol) He was also ridiculously good looking , like a movie star. Always won trivia games. Wasn't athletic at all tho and also was very soft to the touch even when he tried to be tough & aggressive - so Se polr was evident. But he was still very masculine.

    I could tell him personal things I couldn't tell my mom because idk, he just absorbed it better. My mom really wants to help other people but something about it- she just doesn't get that sometimes people just need somebody to deeply listen to them and not much else, she tries to 'take action' too much and kinda ruins it... but they were probably duals for that reason.

    Could be too stern at times. Cared what people thought more than I do and I think - the times he got mad at me it's because I wasn't paying attention to what other people thought enough and he would scold me for that. He told me I was a good writer and he really liked reading my stories (I think cuz of the Fe) but said I wasn't logical enough in them and they were too 'flowery' at times lol. Idk if he ever read one of my Adventures stories - cuz the first one got "published" two years before he died and he was already kind of sick even then but he would read my Final Fantasy 7 fan fiction way back in the day.

    Oh and I always remembered he would complain crossword puzzles were 'too easy' for him and other kinds of logical puzzles and he really wanted to be challenged but they were always too easy for him.

  35. #35
    Alomoes's Avatar
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    Probably EIE.

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    C-ESI-Se sx/sp ashlesha's Avatar
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    LSI. I've talked about him on the forum a million times. A weird atypical version. Like father like daughter. Maybe creative subtype! But I don't really understand dcnh and my dad was dominating as far as I was concerned lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    I think of this thread as a way to look at different types as fathers. What type was your dad? And what was he like as a father?


    I'll start.

    My dad is IEI. He's a great dad for the most part. When I was growing up he read to me every night. He read me lord of the rings, mark twain, Shakespeare, Dune, and many others. He taught me kung fu and read taoism to me. My fondest memories of him are of when he took me hiking or when he brushed my hair.

    My father brushed my hair every night because my ESE mom was hurting my head. He'd hang crystals in the window, play the song "She's a rainbow" by the rolling stones and softly brush my hair every morning and every night.

    When I turned 13 he told me all the boys were masturbating and not to let them hug me. I said "Are you sure?" He said "Have you seen her dressed in blue?"

    Lol I still love the song and who cares about male attention? Not me.

    Awww, that's so sweet. I wanna be like your dad! When I was an assistant teacher for a special ed class reading to kids was my absolute favourite thing! I also read to my younger brother almost every night when we were much younger. I love doing voices and going all out with the delivery and kids just eat it up!
    猫が生き甲斐

  38. #38
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    To answer your question, my dad is SEI-Fe. My mom is actually ESE-Fe so there was a lot of Alpha Fe energy in my house growing up. My dad was and still is an extremely hard worker and very detail-oriented. I always had this impression of him that he did everything in life perfectly; he got all As in school, he never kissed a girl before my mom on their wedding day, he designed and built our house himself, he volunteers as a chaplain for the fire department, he taught himself (and later taught me) to read the New Testament in Greek, and he's always been there just sort of quietly supporting me in the background. We don't feel that much need to talk that deeply, but it's not cause we aren't interested in each other or anything. I feel like it's just that we already know what each other is thinking and feeling so there's just no reason to except for when we're working on something together and need to exchange practical info. He's the image of warmth and stability, and he's always shown his love to me and the rest of my family through acts of service. I really don't like dealing with the daily maintenance of things, but he's super on top of them. Just today he asked me if I'd mailed my tax return in yet and said if I hadn't I could just email it to him as a pdf and he'd take care of it, which I was super grateful for since I hate little tasks like going to the post office.

    He was really hard for me to type since he feels so well-rounded (if y'all have any suggestions let me know). Although he tends to take care of a lot of Te stuff, I think that's mostly him just following traditional gender roles since my mom actually seems to be more comfortable with Te than him. I think his type is easier to see in the things he doesn't get paid for. His day job is as a property manager and real estate agent, but he gets his fulfillment from volunteering as a chaplain which demands a significant amount of Fe. He often gets paged when there's been a suicide and he'll go and comfort the deceased's family and help them through the next steps. On a lighter note, his main hobby is photography which he does semi-professionally now. He's been hired for a few weddings and graduations, but his real passion lies in wildlife photography and documenting our family life.

    The other main thing he does is build stuff. He loves improving our house, and as I said earlier he built it himself (not like completely by himself, he hired other workers obviously, but he physically worked on all parts of the building with them). Every year my mom will sketch and plan out a new addition or renovation project for my dad to build. So far this year my dad's already rebuilt the fence and completely redone the entire firepit area of our backyard. I think they're renovating the room I moved out of later this year too, but I'm not sure when that's happening.

    Overall he's a quiet, talented man who is very passionate about his family and at the end of the day just wants to sit in his lawn chair in the backyard with his camera
    猫が生き甲斐

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