How can I accept when people are mad at me, I'm an anxious/fearful attachment type
I suffer extreme anxiety when the people closest to me are in disharmony to me, possible from my fe function. but also because i suffered immense loss in childhood and adolescence and am very needy, I even have borderline traits. what should i do? if someone like my mom is mad at me my whole world falls upside down. EDIT: But at the same time, I can be very hurtful too, again borderline, as well as a natural human ability to get mad, but I can take it to another level.
Too lazy to write much
A simple and efficient method that should be easier to apply in life and can be used alongside professional therapies that are more complicated and don't give results as fast. It was made to combat bad habits, it may be a bit harder to apply it for excessive emotional reactions as it's harder to notice when they overtake your logical thinking, but it's still doable and worth trying. You already identified things like reacting too strongly when your mom is mad at you (your rational analysis of the situation indicated your emotional responses don't fit the situation and cause problems), treat your exaggerated reactions as an "Addiction Voice" and follow the method.
break down exactly why the ppl in ur life wd be mad at u. most of the time its nothing u did. also pay close attn to when u get mad at others like for example if ur bothered by others for causing disharmony think about how u contribute to the disharmony by not sympathizing and getting irrationally perturbed