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Thread: Upbringing as an imprint/quasi id in relationships

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    Default Upbringing as an imprint/quasi id in relationships

    I have an IEI friend. One of her parents is an EII. She personally cannot stand the EII's need for cleanliness and constant focus upon the past. Further, the EII blames the IEI for mistakes she made in her teen years (she's late 20s now).

    Interestingly, this IEI is romantically drawn to EII's in real life, online & even to EII celebrities. Most EII disregard her in return, eventually. My question is this, how much influence does a parent's type shape their kid's romantic choices in life?

    Given options of ILE or LII, for example, she will choose EII. Seems she's addicted to the dysfunction. Opinions?

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    Half the world does this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Half the world does this.
    J hear ya. I'd find it difficult to choose my Quasi-ID, mostly cause I prefer introverts over extroverts. Good to jump on a forum to the opinion of others on the matter

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    I heard this theory once that almost everybody is into a person that is half like their mom and half like their dad because it makes them feel safe and loved again (while at the same time being different and exciting because it clearly isn't your parents)

    Uhhh I wouldn't think all IEIs are into that though or anything. I don't like EIIs romantically in real life and never have. I wouldn't be into anybody that morally chastised me either for bad past decisions - though it depends I guess on how non-hypocritical they were lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    I heard this theory once that almost everybody is into a person that is half like their mom and half like their dad because it makes them feel safe and loved again (while at the same time being different and exciting because it clearly isn't your parents)

    Uhhh I wouldn't think all IEIs are into that though or anything. I don't like EIIs romantically in real life and never have. I wouldn't be into anybody that morally chastised me either for bad past decisions - though it depends I guess on how non-hypocritical they were lol.
    Appreciate the opinion. Glad you avoid that type of abuse. I personally can't imagine IEI/EII working without fundamental conflict, especially with better compatibility available. Suppressing irritation has to suck

    My mom is ESE-Si and, before socionics, I was into SEI's. I get some parental influence being a factor for the reason you stated

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    Glad you avoid that type of abuse.
    I don't allow anybody to abuse me tbh. If I am being mistreated- I just walk away as I usually don't like fighting with somebody. If I do like fighting with somebody, then I will take my responsibility for my part to play in the conflict. Tbh it really irritates me when I see other IEIs allowing themselves to be punching bags- which would be fine if they were into that, but they seem to want respect & love they just pick partners that treat them poorly.

    I personally can't imagine IEI/EII working without fundamental conflict, especially with better compatibility available.
    The EIIs I know are heavily into religion and acting morally righteous- and that sort of thing turns me off. I guess I still respect people being a 'good person' (whatever that means) but a lot of the EIIs I know are really in your face about it and that rubs me the wrong way. Also I'm usually waaaay more forgiving with SLEs than they are (which is to be expected)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post


    I don't allow anybody to abuse me tbh. If I am being mistreated- I just walk away as I usually don't like fighting with somebody. If I do like fighting with somebody, then I will take my responsibility for my part to play in the conflict. Tbh it really irritates me when I see other IEIs allowing themselves to be punching bags- which would be fine if they were into that, but they seem to want respect & love they just pick partners that treat them poorly.



    The EIIs I know are heavily into religion and acting morally righteous- and that sort of thing turns me off. I guess I still respect people being a 'good person' (whatever that means) but a lot of the EIIs I know are really in your face about it and that rubs me the wrong way. Also I'm usually waaaay more forgiving with SLEs than they are (which is to be expected)
    Cool. I hear that identical partners make for a great teacher/student dynamic. Cheers to you. �� My guess is you'd make for a decent teacher for other IEIs.

    I figure it's never good to overvalue or undervalue anything. I once overvalued an SEI over an IEI in high school. It sucked. There is nuance, socionics is advisory but I find much of socionics theory to be accurate

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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    IEIs misunderstand me. I also don't really have a "cleanliness need" which doesn't sound good when I say it like that lol. I suppose I don't see myself as a "neat freak"; most people are - at least more than me it seems. I do have focus upon the past. Also the more I internalize Te stuff the more I seem to have a similar reaction to XEIs Te PoLR (irritation) that Te leads seem to. I remember when I used to be so confused as to why Te leads would get so frustrated and/or angry with Te devalued types. I would still discourage harshness, but I understand the emotion.

    One of them managed to convince me I was evil when I never was (reason is complicated; he had trust issues and I didn't have a good grasp of who I really was), another was kind but ultimately "absent" like he wasn't quite there -eventually (E9; I guess that's one way they could express disinterest in interacting more with you. I'd rather I was just directly told).
    Good perspective. I've heard an EII explain an experience similar to yours about an IEI before.

    I believe my IEI friend understands EII's but cannot adequately value Te. I've seen her attempts to value Si but Te is an expectation which overly stresses her.

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