questionnaire - catho (some kind of NF??)
Hi hi!
I made a type me post a year ago but I'm still unsure of my type. (I'm a 4w5 sx-dom) (Also I know there's a new questionnaire but I had answered the old one a while ago already so it was easier to just edit & post that one)
1. What is beauty? What is love?
To me, beauty is something evocative. The first thing that jumped to my mind when I first read the question was uhh these little aesthetic boards all over Pinterest—visually pleasing + containing a very specific atmosphere/vibe… I guess that would be my instinctual answer, but then I thought more about it, and in the end to me beauty can also be something violent, dreadful, ugly, etc …. as long as it’s evocative and gives off a unique vibe that sticks with you. (I guess that a summary of my answer would be that beauty is a feeling that transports you to a specific place.)
Love is hard to define, but to me it’s probably when you absorb someone/something else into yourself, so when you start caring about it as if it were a part of you.
2. What are your most important values?
Ehh I don’t think I have cleanly defined values? I mean nothing pops up in my head. But I’ll go with fairness, and freedom. I hate seeing people take advantage of others, being greedy, oppressing or abusing others, etc etc, and I hate being forced to do stuff (though that might be more because I’m lazy + hate interacting with the outside world most of the time, lmao.)
(Also there are some things that I find despicable when strangers do them, but I won’t really care/will turn a blind eye to it if it’s someone I love who’s doing it. Basically, my values are flexible.)
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I don’t really have any beliefs, though I’m very partial to spirituality. I would be open to becoming a believer of something one day, but I didn’t grow up in a religious household and I’ve never had a Big Revelation that would suddenly make me believe in anything, so it’s probably not going to happen anytime soon. I do think that believing in something greater/devoting my life to a higher cause/being part of a dedicated group sounds really attractive, but I don’t want to force it.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I think militaries can and often do easily turn into glorified terrorist organizations, though I do understand why some people see it as brave/necessary/admirable.
Power is really hard to describe to me, especially since power dynamics and awareness of who’s in power and who isn’t in relationships take up a big part of my life. I guess for me power is knowing I'm in a position where I cannot be cornered, trapped, caged or manipulated. It’s having more influence, knowledge or emotional leverage in a situation than the person in front of you.
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
In general, my longest conversations have either been about politics and the state of our society, about the concept of time, or (that’s much more related to me being an e4 though) just me analyzing my inner feelings and relationships/the dynamics of the relationship (motives, power dynamics, social hierarchies, etc ….). The concept of time is, to me, a subject that can never run dry. I’ve been incredibly aware of the passage of time since I was in elementary school, and my conception of time and reality in general tends to be pretty fucked up.
My one true passion is writing. I’ve been writing since I was 9 or 10 years old, and I’ve been telling stories since I learned how to talk, quite literally. I’ve got a natural knack for words in general and I find that writing comes much more easily to me than any other form of art (though I did theater and improvisation for 4+ years and was by far the best in my class.) I love to read and listen to music (I do both in obscene quantities), probably because uhhh escapism. I’m also (obviously) really interested in any and all kinds of typology (typical e4 searching for a sense of identity in external sources.)
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Nope, to both. I can spend entire days without eating just because it kinda slipped my mind, or I don't feel like cooking. I have a friend who talks a lot about her health and I think it’s really boring usually, but there’s also nothing that gets me freaked out more than thinking I could be seriously ill.
7. What do you think of daily chores?
I hate them and will neglect them for as long as physically possible. I hate tasks that require me to use my body in any shape or form, so cleaning and cooking are extremely daunting to me (but when I actually get mobilized and start doing them, the mindlessness and repetition can be nice.) I tend to overestimate tasks that end up being much less stressful than I thought they’d be, and I get overwhelmed by the concept of tasks very very easily. They can pile up and either I’ll keep putting them off or just get paralyzed and feel physically unable to start.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
I recently watched the 2nd half of the film Melancholia (2011), and I really, really liked it. I was actually thinking about it when I answered the first question; it was just very striking and atmospheric, especially the opening sequence (can be found on YouTube). I also recently read (and loved) the book On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, by Ocean Vuong. It’s the kind of writing style that inspires me.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I’m really not a big crier? I can’t actually remember the last time I cried. I’ll only cry if I’m alone, and it’s rarely because of one specific thing—it's only when a ton of shitty stuff happens and it ends up being too much that I’ll start seriously crying. I often get a little teary-eyed at songs, movies or daydreams though.
I feel like I smile a lot, but I’m not actually sure if that’s true (I’ve been told I seem unapproachable). I tend to put on quite a fucking show around all my friends, and I can be *really* loud and dramatic for the sake of making people laugh. I tend to try to hide it when I’m in a bad mood, since maintaining a lighthearted, playful atmosphere and making other people laugh is a big priority to me.
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I’d say in aesthetically pleasing places (...?) I’ve often been moved to tears by beautiful places, like lakes and blue skies and mountains. I’m sensitive to aesthetics/vibes in my environment so being somewhere beautiful can always make my mood go from 0 to at least 50 lmao. Being surrounded by people who I know for sure love me and who react well (and loudly) to what I say also makes me feel a sense of belonging like no other (there’s no worse feeling in the world for me than to try and be funny and have other people not react or react poorly/with little emotion.)
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I’m very lazy. I hate doing hard or unpleasant work. I’m also forgetful and can make promises I can’t or don’t want to keep (I’m quite selfish and unreliable that way.) My ESI sister often accuses me of being irresponsible, and also of taking up too much space. I can be confrontational, outspoken and sometimes downright aggressive (I have friends irl who study the enneagram and more than half of them mistyped me as an e8). Also, and this is not true for all situations, but as a rule of thumb I’m more close-minded than not.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I’m known mainly for being funny and for being pretty eloquent. I love to put on a show for other people, I love to entertain, and I hear I’m quite good at it. I like that I’m quick-witted, clever, creative, and I can naturally come up with a really unexpected angle for pretty much anything. I can also be very persuasive, talk my way out of pretty much anything and twist situations to show them under a particular angle (though I rarely, if ever, manipulate anyone. It’s more of a mental exercise that I do just to prove that I can, and it’s a pretty impressive party trick)
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
Honestly I’d like someone to take care of all the mundane, practical chores around me so I could just retreat in my head & stay there forever & not have to worry about the physical world. I often joke about finding a rich man to marry so I could just stay home all day and not have to work and not have to take care of cooking/cleaning/paying bills etc.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Umm not really? (I create routines really easily and can stay comfortably in them for years.)
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I like people with flashy personalities (usually 4w3s and 8s.) People that talk loud, are very passionate and charismatic, don’t shy away from confrontation … It’s very attractive to me. However this tends to create very fusional friendships that fall apart within a year, while most of my long-lasting friendships are instead with 9s, so people that are introverted, mellow, patient, and incredible listeners. (These friendships aren’t nearly as exciting though).
I dislike people who openly show weakness and vulnerability. I’m actually thinking of a girl I’ve known for 4+ years and who’s absolutely insufferable. She’s very childlike and this forces everyone around to take care of her; she’s inefficient and needs to be ordered around all the time because she never takes the initiative; she’s not very bright and also gets offended really easily. She takes herself too seriously, and can come across as being very pretentious. Overall she seems weak, impractical and helpless (which I guess wouldn’t be too bothersome if she didn’t force me in a position where I feel like I’m responsible for her and need to water myself down to not hurt her.)
I get along really well with Alphas, Deltas are hit-or-miss, and there are two people in my life who just might be Betas and I feel the most relaxed around them (though the SLE might actually be LSE…)
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I don’t know if I feel a specific way about it… I’m a sx-dom 4 so obviously romance is something I crave deeply but I know I like the idea of it more than actually being in a relationship. I can’t usually feel sexual attraction towards anyone unless I have a close bond with them.
I want someone who’s straight-forward, assertive, confident, decisive, maybe even a little aggressive. I usually feel really turned off when I feel like I’m the more uhh “dominant” partner, which is something that happens often because I project a very assertive image even if I’m not that assertive at all. I would also like a partner that’s grounded, steady, and reliable, since I’m everything but that.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I wouldn’t raise a child. It scares the shit out of me, because it’s the one (1) thing in life that you cannot not fail. Messing up your kid is inevitable and that's terrifying + I’m self-aware enough to know that I don’t have the patience or emotional maturity to deal with a tiny human being that can’t control its reactions. (But if I had to raise a child I’d make sure to go to therapy for multiple years beforehand so I knew how to not pass down my own unhealed wounds...?)
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
It really depends. If it’s someone I really like, I’m probably just going to steer the conversation away and ignore it. I obviously won’t forget about it but if I’m already attached to the person, even a terrible opinion probably couldn’t deter me. However, if I don’t care *that* much about that friend I’ll probably get really aggressive and argue with them until they change their minds (or at least until they say they’ve changed their minds), and if they don’t I’ll probably storm off and (if their opinion is really cruel or problematic) maybe cut them off.
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I think our current society is unlivable for most people and that we need to start all over again from scratch. I have a rather optimistic view of humanity and I think people can be so good at their core, but they’re put in a system that deems their worth as not intrinsic but instead earned, which will inevitably corrupt everyone a little. Honestly I believe no one “deserves” less basic rights than someone else, so issues regarding racism/sexism/etc make me go a little insane.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don’t really choose my friends, I just stick close to the people I get along with best in the environment I’m in (there’s generally not much choice, so you make due with what you have.) The ones I do “choose” are people with whom I’ll have an insane immediate chemistry with. It’s rare but it’s definitely happened in the past. (I think it’s more of a sx-dom thing, though.) If I don’t click with them, I’ll still put effort in the relationship and try to get closer to them, but I’ll be much less invested. Instead I’ll just… let the friendship follow its natural course and go with the flow. Around them I’ll be really loud, talk a lot, gesticulate a lot, try my hardest to make them laugh, tell a lot of stories, try to cheer them up, etc… (I’m not always like that though. I tend to strongly adapt to whoever I’m with, so with some friends I’ll be much more subdued and logical and with some I’ll be a lot more aggressive.)
21. How do you behave around strangers?
It depends on the “type” of stranger. As a rule of thumb I’ll be very very quiet, polite and reserved, but with some I can be much more warm and try to establish contact quickly, and with others I can be cold and detached. Whether or not I want to be liked will strongly impact the way I behave.
Thank you so much if you've gone through the whole thing !!
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by catho
