You are intrigued

[vague]

Type my brother. Curious mostly because I find the way he deals with relationships outside of the family baffling.

Workaholic. Often has two jobs though he never needs to. Parties a lot too, drinks heavily when he isn’t working and has gone through intermittent periods of cocaine use. He has never let this effect his professional life and has always been very successful in his work.

Never keeps jobs for more than a year. At some point, he’ll decide he is too good for a job or that he is simply sick of his co-workers. He will not wait until he has secured another job, he quits on the spot. He is very good at spotting opportunities because he has always found something better after doing this.

Never keeps friends for more than a year either. Will seemingly out of nowhere decide his friends are not having enough of a positive influence on his life. Blows them off without explanation.

Very romantic. Told his girlfriend of 3 years that he loved her on their first date. He believes that love is not something that just happens. You have to make the choice to love someone from the very beginning or it won’t work out. I'm sure he's scared off many girls this way. =p He bought her a rose every time he saw her over the course of their relationship.

He became upset when she went back to school on top of having a job because she wasn’t spending enough time with him. He’s the type of person who wants to be with his SO 24/7 when he isn’t working. When she went on vacation for two weeks out of state, he made the decision to never talk to her again. When she came home and he wasn’t answering her phone calls and was never home when she stopped by his place, she called me worried that harm or something had come to my brother while she was away. Baffled, I called my brother to find out why he wasn’t speaking to her. He told me to tell her that he was fine and he would talk to her later. He never did and she eventually got the hint. I asked him why he didn’t have the respect to break up with her directly. He said he wasn’t sure why he wanted to break up with her and didn’t want to do it without a reason. He said he couldn’t be bothered to waste one more minute on something that is over with. [what is most confusing is that they had never had a lot of conflict in their relationship and he frequently talked about marrying her.]

Very sentimental. He gave away practically everything in his apartment (furniture, television, artwork) after he blew his girlfriend off because he didn’t want any reminders of her.

Is generally good at charming people into doing what he wants but when that won't work, he'll become stubborn and forceful.

Likes to spend big and has to have the latest model of everything. Is by no means rich but knows how to manage his money so he can have everything he wants. He likes to surprise family members with expensive gifts frequently. When he goes out with friends, he pays for everything. He also spends a lot of money on his appearance, is always wearing a suit. Spends a ridiculous amount of money on personal products. I went shopping with him once and he bought 25 dollar shaving cream. I didn’t even know shaving cream that expensive existed.

Any ideas? All my family photos are at my parents house, but I’m visiting them tomorrow so I’ll scan one then for VI.

[Joy]

ENTj

If not (but I really think he is based on this information soley), then Delta ST, more likely ESTj.

[vague]

ESTj was actually what I was thinking too, but we've always had a close relationship with few conflicts. I guess family relations aren't as subject to intertype relations, though.

[Joy]

I thought ESTj at first, but your description of his drug use sounded like a Si PoLR, but ESTjs do a lot of that shit too. How is his health, in general? I had an ESTj friend who did WAY too many drugs and drank WAY too much, but he still worked out and ate well during those times.

[vague]

My brother works out a lot [though I believe this is mostly because he is very vain about his appearance] and is generally in good health. He eats healthy and has been fortunate not to have had any health effects from the drinking/drugs.

[implied]

i might be in love with him.

[Joy]

ESTj or ISTp

[dreamer]

Lol, me too.
Could be ESTP, ENTJ or ESTJ.

[Joy]

I love the title of this thread lol

I don't think he's ExTp because he sounds like he values Fi above Fe. Could be misinterpretating it though.

[Animal]

He believes that love is not something that just happens. You have to make the choice to love someone from the very beginning or it won’t work out

Actually, I think this indicates over .

[vague]

Fe/Fi is difficult for me to determine because both seem prevalent in him. He is talented at using Fe when it suits his purposes. I can't imagine which alpha/beta type he'd be though.

He is always mistrustful of people's intentions and believes that people are inherently bad at the core. Don't know about ESTp. The only time he displays blatant Se is when he is drunk. He won't tolerate people trying to put him in an inferior position though. One of his bosses critisized him in front of other employees. My brother said he calmly thanked his boss for the job oppurtunity and said he would no longer be needing a job there. He did this knowing that he had put his boss in a difficult position by quitting on the spot. He tends to be more passive-aggressive rather than aggressive.

implied.

[Joy]

He believes that love is not something that just happens. You have to make the choice to love someone from the very beginning or it won’t work out

Actually, I think this indicates over .

on second thought, sounds like a logical type

[implied]

He believes that love is not something that just happens. You have to make the choice to love someone from the very beginning or it won’t work out

Actually, I think this indicates over .

on second thought, sounds like a logical type

i seriously can't decide whether that would be or . generally it sounds kind of to me, though.

[FDG]

Very romantic. Told his girlfriend of 3 years that he loved her on their first date. He believes that love is not something that just happens. You have to make the choice to love someone from the very beginning or it won’t work out. I'm sure he's scared off many girls this way. =p He bought her a rose every time he saw her over the course of their relationship.

Shit, I do this crap too. Yeah, scares girls off.

Your bro reminds me of a guy I know from another forum, that was kind of similar to me, but different nonetheless.

Joy: a person that blows friends off, and girls off out of the blue - well, this kind of person values Fi?

Is generally good at charming people into doing what he wants but when that won't work, he'll become stubborn and forceful.

This sounds like there's some kind of Se; generally, I wouldn't say ESTj, but ENTj is nonetheless possible.

[dreamer]

I actually can't see him as ESTJ. It'd help if vague describe the relation with him? Either ESTP or ENTJ I think.

[FDG]

ESTj was actually what I was thinking too, but we've always had a close relationship with few conflicts. I guess family relations aren't as subject to intertype relations, though.

In actuality, I think that eventual conflicts are more likely to be exacerbated in family relationships.

[stefana]

.........

[Expat]

It is indeed intriguing.

Workaholic. Often has two jobs though he never needs to. Parties a lot too, drinks heavily when he isn’t working and has gone through intermittent periods of cocaine use. He has never let this effect his professional life and has always been very successful in his work.

Never keeps jobs for more than a year. At some point, he’ll decide he is too good for a job or that he is simply sick of his co-workers. He will not wait until he has secured another job, he quits on the spot. He is very good at spotting opportunities because he has always found something better after doing this.

This does suggests a Beta or Gamma extrovert at the least.

Never keeps friends for more than a year either. Will seemingly out of nowhere decide his friends are not having enough of a positive influence on his life. Blows them off without explanation.

As FDG said, that doesn't sound like someone who values Fi; and personally I can't relate to it in the slightest.

Very romantic. Told his girlfriend of 3 years that he loved her on their first date. He believes that love is not something that just happens. You have to make the choice to love someone from the very beginning or it won’t work out. I'm sure he's scared off many girls this way. =p He bought her a rose every time he saw her over the course of their relationship.

If he said that in those very terms, it's a clear sign of over preference, just like Baby said. Indeed, it is precisely the sort of thing that Jung himself used to differentiate Fe from Fi.

He became upset when she went back to school on top of having a job because she wasn’t spending enough time with him. He’s the type of person who wants to be with his SO 24/7 when he isn’t working. When she went on vacation for two weeks out of state, he made the decision to never talk to her again. When she came home and he wasn’t answering her phone calls and was never home when she stopped by his place, she called me worried that harm or something had come to my brother while she was away. Baffled, I called my brother to find out why he wasn’t speaking to her. He told me to tell her that he was fine and he would talk to her later. He never did and she eventually got the hint. I asked him why he didn’t have the respect to break up with her directly. He said he wasn’t sure why he wanted to break up with her and didn’t want to do it without a reason. He said he couldn’t be bothered to waste one more minute on something that is over with. [what is most confusing is that they had never had a lot of conflict in their relationship and he frequently talked about marrying her.]

To me that whole scenario indicates Fe > Fi preference, extroversion, rationality. An Alpha/Beta EJ. And, in fact, the highlighted bit is precisely the same thing I heard from an ENFj.

Very sentimental. He gave away practically everything in his apartment (furniture, television, artwork) after he blew his girlfriend off because he didn’t want any reminders of her.

I would not call that being "sentimental", it's the same thing as the bit above.

Is generally good at charming people into doing what he wants but when that won't work, he'll become stubborn and forceful.

Suggests a lot of things -- Fe > Fi, Se> Si, Resolute -- confirms the above but suggests Beta rather than Alpha.

Likes to spend big and has to have the latest model of everything. Is by no means rich but knows how to manage his money so he can have everything he wants. He likes to surprise family members with expensive gifts frequently. When he goes out with friends, he pays for everything. He also spends a lot of money on his appearance, is always wearing a suit. Spends a ridiculous amount of money on personal products. I went shopping with him once and he bought 25 dollar shaving cream. I didn’t even know shaving cream that expensive existed.

That goes against ENTj and suggests Enneatype 3, or ENFj or ESFp.

He is always mistrustful of people's intentions and believes that people are inherently bad at the core.

Sounds like a Ti thing.

Don't know about ESTp. The only time he displays blatant Se is when he is drunk. He won't tolerate people trying to put him in an inferior position though. One of his bosses critisized him in front of other employees. My brother said he calmly thanked his boss for the job oppurtunity and said he would no longer be needing a job there. He did this knowing that he had put his boss in a difficult position by quitting on the spot. He tends to be more passive-aggressive rather than aggressive.

Enneatype 3, . A showman.

To me it's very clear.

ENFj, probably intuitive subtype.

[Joy]

The part about deciding to love someone and not wanting to be with someone one more minute once it's over sound like weak Fi to me. I cannot see a logical type who values Fe would having that attitude as much as a logical type who values Fi.

As far as the Fe and Fi types, I have no idea.

Also, I can definitely picture an ENTj spending a lot of money on personal care products as an overcompensation for their PoLR.

[vague]

Admittedly, I have never studied the enneagram on anything but the most shallow level but I looked up more information and was impressed by how accurately Type 3 described him. I never really considered ENFj because his Fe isn't as blatant as other ENFjs I know. He seems to have a clear purpose behind it when he does use it. Plus he appears to be adept at using which led me to think EXTj.

ENFj makes a lot of sense in the family relationship dynamic. That would make most of my immediate family all Betans, save for one most likely alphan sister.

[MysticSonic]

ENFj.

[Expat]

Also, I can definitely picture an ENTj spending a lot of money on personal care products as an overcompensation for their PoLR.

Ok, I can see that too, especially in the case of Ni subtypes, but it seems to me more typical of the ENFj Si PoLR.

Admittedly, I have never studied the enneagram on anything but the most shallow level but I looked up more information and was impressed by how accurately Type 3 described him. I never really considered ENFj because his Fe isn't as blatant as other ENFjs I know. He seems to have a clear purpose behind it when he does use it. Plus he appears to be adept at using which led me to think EXTj.

If he's ENFj intuitive subtype, that would explain both the less blatant Fe and the relatively higher use of Te, especially from the point of view of an INFp.

[Creepy-aurora_faerie]

ENFj all teh ways =P