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Thread: IEI problem

  1. #1
    chocolatte's Avatar
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    Default IEI problem

    Ok this question started out as a general one about Ne ignoring, but turned into something of the flavor Ne ignoring/1D Te and Se/devalued Te

    Trying to not ignore Ne makes me feel very uncomfortable. Maybe cause it then feels like I'm ignoring my base. or something to do with Ni-Ti-Te PoLR, feeling like I didn't think it through enough, therefore missed details, therefore feel uncomfortable "committing" like that (Ni valuation)
    Engaging my role doesn't make me feel uncomfortable (unless it's imposed on me) and I suck more at that, so what's with the ignoring having this effect?

    This is an issue for me lately as I developed a complicated-ish health issue with pretty ambiguous treatment.. and my mom, who is Ne-PoLR.. is the one telling me to be more open to trying different things.

    I'm frustrated with myself and I know I'm often wrong about things, but I'm so stubborn. It's not just that though, but also an issue (which applies to things in general) where I feel like I just don't know what to think about things!! I'm telling you, i could be so convinced of something, but in reality it'll somehow turn out to be wrong, and at this point i'd just be like, god not again.
    so, here in this situation, with my shitty T i try to reason to myself about whether or not doing Whatever thing my ESI mom suggests would be beneficial, turning it over so many times in head, then usually rejecting it because she just told me to do it without explaining anything and it seems to go against my squiggly Ti understanding of the mechanisms of the injury.

    she keeps on (most of the time) turning out to be right, but even with this knowledge i STILL can't get myself to open-mindedly trust her when she says it'll work. i can't. it makes me extremely uncomfortable. is this stupid and i just gotta suck it up?

    The other thing is that in life in general, i simply can't see things. i can't SEE things properly, hope you get what i mean. i've always joked that life to me just feels like my journey of figuring out what the proper way of looking at things is, but lately it's stopped feeling like just a joke..

    Anyway, i don't have a SLE inverse-seer around, to help me tell what is what. How can I deal with this frustrating 1D Te/Se combination on my own? and be more goddamn open-minded?

    thank you and if you plan on helping me out, would you mind rereading what i wrote, slowly, a second time? not because of you but because of my jumbled tired writing where i'm not sure the idea i'm trying to communicate can be grasped the way i want it to, the first time over. idk

  2. #2
    GOAT
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    What is the health issue? Is it psych based? Are you taking meds? Are you just bored and need money to buy something nice for yaself, lol?

  3. #3
    chocolatte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyberpunk View Post
    What is the health issue? Is it psych based? Are you taking meds? Are you just bored and need money to buy something nice for yaself, lol?
    Not sure where you got money out of that lol (would always accept some tho), no it's a biomechanical issue

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    Hey chocolatte. Um..I have always struggled with understanding the reality of physical (and mental) health conditions I have had. Hmm I think I would suggest to let your mum help you with this stuff. It must be scary and stressful to not feel like you know what to do in in this situation. Hopefully it will become clearer over time. Maybe write down your options with a timeline for how they might pan out. But keep in mind, you can’t control the outcome. Us IEIs make mistakes in logical thinking, that one day we can look back on and see (it can take a long time to realise though). I think it can be hard for young IEIs, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by information. That happened to me around your age.

    As for the other stuff about ‘figuring out the proper way of looking at things’. Yes it can be hard. I think it’ll get a bit easier as you get older, if you let it. You have socionics and typology to guide your thinking, so that’s good. But explore other interests too, (although don’t overwhelm yourself, it can be casual interest) and find people you are comfortable exploring your opinions with. It’s ok to have more questions than answers. The answers will come when they do, (it’s ok to overthink/discuss until they do, sometimes) but IEI are better at exploring shades of grey and people seem to appreciate that about us It’s also ok to think you know the answers, and change your mind later, even if it’s not that much later. lol. Everyone else is making it up as they go along too
    Last edited by Bethany; 03-28-2021 at 08:32 AM.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  5. #5
    Northstar's Avatar
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    This is something that Gulenko got right: your ignoring and polr ("controlling" and "brake") are in the same "problematic function block". They are the functions you want to use least. Focusing on your ignoring is in a way ignoring what you fundamentally are. It's stronger than the polr but you really feel a resistance to using it, while polr can be more volatile.

    But like you said, wanting to understand everything through Ni and Ti is what IEI do (and they have a hard time believing anything they haven't analyzed and understood for themselves), and I also recognize their typical problem of not being able to "see" things in reality/real-time. However, this particular issue is more related to Ni lead being wary of committing to anything that could potentially have a negative outcome, which often leads to analysis paralysis. Ne/Se leading that have ignored Ni or DS Ni often just don't even think about such things in advance and just act impulsively when an opportunity presents itself, that's the typical EP way.

    If your mom has turned out to be right so far and there haven't been any bad outcomes then it's probably worth it giving her the benefit of doubt and just going along with the ideas. I can believe it's hard, like it's hard for me to stop to consider something before acting. But in the end, if it works it isn't stupid and sometimes you have to accept that not everything can be fully understood in advance. Not acting instead of endlessly analyzing is a trap many IEI fall into so getting a push from a Se type is probably for the better.
    Last edited by Northstar; 03-28-2021 at 12:47 PM.

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