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Thread: IEIs/INFps going from positive idealistic phrase to seeing negatives

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    Default IEIs/INFps going from positive idealistic phrase to seeing negatives

    Lately, I been thinking about the past and how I view people who I like and care about very much. At first, I have this idealistic view of them. I only see their positive traits and their potential in human greatness. That's like the first few months of interaction and getting to know each other. Then, they begin to show their negative traits and I begin to take real notice of them and take offense and get mad. I cannot accept some things like teasing jokes that wound my pride or stupid mistakes or comments that they make. So then I begin to question our relation. In the end, I let go of the idealistic image I had of them and just accept their flaws. I can list every one of them in my mind and it'd still annoy me but pretty much, I loosen up more and once again go back with the flow. Of course, this doesn't happen all the time. Just with some people, probably the ones I'm closest too or care most about or am most insecure with. The relations that are questionable I think. While things are easier since letting go of them idealistically, the feelings toward them are also loosened like I don't hold them to expectations anymore. I don't know if I care less or it's just natural and more real. With guys in the beginning, I'd be obsessive but after the phrase, I'd be all mellow and not as focused on them or concerned because it's not longer directly tied to me. But that's with guys. I never really tie myself to girls. Is this INFP? Related to some sort of function? Or just me.
    INFP

  2. #2

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    TIM
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    Hmm, not sure if it's function related. If anything, it's probably -NF- related? Just a guess though.
    Because, I can almost relate to what you're saying, except, when I meet someone new, and get to know them initially, I don't really look at their positive or negative traits specifically. Even if certain traits irrate me, I don't usually point that out, even if I do, I usually do it indirectly.

    Quote Originally Posted by dreamer
    Then, they begin to show their negative traits and I begin to take real notice of them and take offense and get mad.
    I don't think i'd really get mad Although it might irritate me. But those feelings don't last long. And I don't mind teasing, just not crude remarks. Yes, I do get where're you're coming from.
    Quote Originally Posted by dreamer
    I loosen up more and once again go back with the flow.
    Thus I agree with this, because I'd rather keep my friends than to lose them.

    Quote Originally Posted by dreamer
    While things are easier since letting go of them idealistically, the feelings toward them are also loosened like I don't hold them to expectations anymore. I don't know if I care less or it's just natural and more real.
    Here, I feel you're just being accepting.

    I think i've seen my INFp friend who does this as well. Not too sure if he goes through specific phases though. Because when he feels that a certain person is intolerable after getting to him/her over a period of time, he usually tries to avoid that person. But he does not show obvious displeasure or dislike to him/her.

    Maybe it's NF related?
    INTp
    sx/sp

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