Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: How did you know you had a self preservation blindspot?

  1. #1
    fatgurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    LII 9w1
    Posts
    39
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default How did you know you had a self preservation blindspot?

    I would like to hear from people who are sp last. I've read online but some descriptions of the blind spots seem exaggerated to me. I'm also a type 6, and it seems that this type revolves around sp things, so even if they're sp last it would look different to other types.
    What's it like for you guys?

  2. #2
    asd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    TIM
    EII-C 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    608
    Mentioned
    32 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Maybe I will go in more detail some other time but one things stands out to me that I have a hard time, on a strictly emotional level “getting” the trauma that may come with losing your house or losing possessions to a natural disaster for example. In my mind “they can just be replaced.” I’m not saying it will be instant or without pain, but yeah.

    and I say strictly emotional because cognitively I can still understand even if I don’t personally feel something the emotion itself is valid and understandable for those who do.
    @lkdhf qkb

    i will add a caveat it’s not impossible for me to “feel” it esp. say if I become one (sx) with someone I’m in love with, even if they are sp first/second (seems to be the kind of people I go for).

    ----
    it's hard for me to connect with these as well, for myself:
    Self-preserving (SP):
    • I am my body //I don't feel that way
    • Heaviness
    • Anxiety all the way to hysterical visions of annihilation; cold panic (if I move, something awful is going to happen; think of a Hitchcock movie) //Hmm, in a way I have had this but the original trigger was somehow SX related perpetrated through the SO realm
    • Paranoid streak; blaming and accusing others for damaging/endangering/ exploiting self //in a way but not literally. I wouldn't call it truly paranoid either...but yes sometimes I do feel someone is being strangely callous in a way I don't understand, and so I get afraid. I am beginning to see it has been (mostly) a filter I have had though. Some of it was real still.
    • Aggressive/defensive //more so defensive
    • Money //I inherently have a hard time caring about this but I know (now) it matters.
    • Nourishment //no hangups whatsoever
    • Health; hypochondria //nope; it's actually curious for me to see someone in a hypochondriacal state bc my complexes are not those
    • Logistics //no, I cannot. It feels boring to me.
    • Generous at feeding others, helping others out in SP crises //if someone is in a SP crisis they would have to tell me bc I may not know unless it's something extremely obvious
    • The people who shop only in health food stores, filter the water, install triple locks and security system, refuse vaccination //absolutely not me
    • Excessively cautious or self-destructive, even suicidal //not quite
    Last edited by asd; 03-10-2021 at 04:02 AM.


  3. #3
    euphoricfilth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    TIM
    SLE 8w7 SX/SO
    Posts
    10
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    It's painfully obvious at times. SP blindness isn't a matter of unawareness for me; I live in my body and don't forget to attend to physical needs. It's simply hard for me to want to put an effort into SP shit. The idea of being "healthy" and stable is unappealing to me because it's require exercising restraint and missing out on experiences. There's a gap in my motivation where the desire to be content, safe, and physically well should be. Money also doesn't motivate me, except for the exciting experiences it can buy, so I'm pretty lax with it. I tend to feel that all my health and money problems will magically be resolved with time, so I don't worry much.

    It's common for me to find myself awake at 8am, still high and drunk, knowing I'm gonna sleep until mid afternoon on a wednesday. Sleep happens at random times for me and sometimes not at all. I'm very extroverted and can go out night after night, pushing my body til collapse at parties and concerts. Once I get going, I don't want to stop moving, even when I need rest. I have made myself worryingly ill through extended overexertion and sleep deprivation on numerous occasions, and I still lack a desire to restrain myself.

    Not much feels that weighty to me. I don't worry about hurting myself doing things I enjoy, so I can take risks easily. The threat of physical injury or death doesn't deter me as much as it should. I've had a lot of close calls and bad falls in my time, and I bounce back fast, typically feeling energized by the danger. This mindset has led to overdue bills and neglected medical problems that eventually became debilitating. It's not great and I'm really hesitant to develop SP. I don't want to put limits on myself or do boring but safe shit to ensure longevity. Sometimes it feels like I'm hesitant to grow up, sometimes I feel unbound by the anxiety and risk avoidance I see in other people.

  4. #4
    fatgurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    LII 9w1
    Posts
    39
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by euphoricfilth View Post
    It's painfully obvious at times. SP blindness isn't a matter of unawareness for me; I live in my body and don't forget to attend to physical needs. It's simply hard for me to want to put an effort into SP shit. The idea of being "healthy" and stable is unappealing to me because it's require exercising restraint and missing out on experiences. There's a gap in my motivation where the desire to be content, safe, and physically well should be. Money also doesn't motivate me, except for the exciting experiences it can buy, so I'm pretty lax with it. I tend to feel that all my health and money problems will magically be resolved with time, so I don't worry much.

    It's common for me to find myself awake at 8am, still high and drunk, knowing I'm gonna sleep until mid afternoon on a wednesday. Sleep happens at random times for me and sometimes not at all. I'm very extroverted and can go out night after night, pushing my body til collapse at parties and concerts. Once I get going, I don't want to stop moving, even when I need rest. I have made myself worryingly ill through extended overexertion and sleep deprivation on numerous occasions, and I still lack a desire to restrain myself.

    Not much feels that weighty to me. I don't worry about hurting myself doing things I enjoy, so I can take risks easily. The threat of physical injury or death doesn't deter me as much as it should. I've had a lot of close calls and bad falls in my time, and I bounce back fast, typically feeling energized by the danger. This mindset has led to overdue bills and neglected medical problems that eventually became debilitating. It's not great and I'm really hesitant to develop SP. I don't want to put limits on myself or do boring but safe shit to ensure longevity. Sometimes it feels like I'm hesitant to grow up, sometimes I feel unbound by the anxiety and risk avoidance I see in other people.
    Would you say that someone having anxiety would make it less likely that they're sp blind?

    I've had instances where I would overwork my eyes to the point that I couldn't open them to see anything because it hurt, but I'd still try to sneak peaks of the tv, lol. Also, I've always felt like I was kind of invincible when it came to illnesses. Like I don't get sick but everybody else does (even though I've gotten sick before). I just don't take it seriously when I'm sick. I constantly use my phone and computer to the point that my wrists start to severely hurt. Constantly neglect sleep in favor of staying up to research and do other things that interest me.

    I have anxiety though, mostly social, I don't think it's necessarily about anything else. But I am kind of a coward, lol. I'll be scared of things like drowning cause I can't swim but go into deep water with others.

    And I relate to the other stuff about the rush with dangerous activities and SP seeming unappealing since it just seems to take so much effort. I try to exercise and stuff but I can only keep up with it for a few weeks then I'm back to square one.

    Anyways, I just wanted to see how much I relate to sp blindness in others. Now I'm not so sure I'm sp blind.

  5. #5
    euphoricfilth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2021
    TIM
    SLE 8w7 SX/SO
    Posts
    10
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Social anxiety has nothing to do with being SP blind. What I'm describing by my lack of anxiety is my detachment from concerns around physical integrity and safety, i.e. assuming I'll never get badly hurt or sick. This attitude is also very influenced by my being an 8 though, since I'm generally fearless about a lot of shit and habitually deny consequences exist. My experience won't be true for everyone.

    I know an SP blind hypochondriac, which can happen since anxiety is a complex physiological and psychological phenomena that can exist for a number of reasons. What's defining for SP blind is lack of motivation to attend to SP needs. An SP blind might be anxious about being unemployed and running out of money, yet remain apathetic about solving the problem. This has been very true for me. An SP dom is going to instinctively take action around SP concerns without questioning it; it's just what they do. Instincts are very implicit in our actions and ways of thinking, often on a level that's too natural to easily notice.

  6. #6
    voider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    TIM
    SEE-H 2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    639
    Mentioned
    77 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by euphoricfilth View Post
    I know an SP blind hypochondriac, which can happen since anxiety is a complex physiological and psychological phenomena that can exist for a number of reasons. What's defining for SP blind is lack of motivation to attend to SP needs. An SP blind might be anxious about being unemployed and running out of money, yet remain apathetic about solving the problem.


    Yes, exactly this. I used to type sx/sp because of anxiety and thought there was no way I could be SP blind if I took into account all of it. But more careful consideration led me to observe that my defense mechanisms for my anxiety, even though it's related to my body and whatever may go wrong with it, are not exactly... productive. I don't go to the doctor. I don't make decisions to better my lifestyle, not easily at least. I have a hard time thinking about meal plans, and facing the prospect of actually doing something to better my physical health, I just... go and do other things. Skin care feels tedious and I can't be bothered to think about it. I err on the side of not spending any money at all due to my tendency to go overboard when I do spend, instead of properly managing what I want/need with how much I own. I would agree with the sentiment that SP stuff just seems to be too much effort, beyond basic necessities.

    And yet what I do to cope with my anxiety is go to other people, communicate with them, ask for their support and guidance. I go to my social safety net: my parents, my friends, love interest if there is one. I feel like it's necessary for me to have that kind of support, and cultivate those bonds with people so we can all support each other in times of need. It doesn't actually solve my problems, but without it I would feel like I'm going to fall apart, completely alone in the world. I've felt rejected and thrown out of the loop - it was a terrible experience and I don't want to feel it ever again.

    This is from my perspective as so/sx 2w3. I don't put a lot of focus on risky experiences on their own but I really enjoy them as bonding activities. I can do SP stuff if other people are involved - for example, if my friend is interested in skincare, I will listen to her and try to get into it as well so we can bond over that. I tend to disregard my own comfort if it means I can do more of an activity that allows me to bond with people, like stay up all night playing games or overextend seeing a lot of people all at once. It's not those experiences themselves that I seek out usually, but the bond that they forge with the people you do them with, and that is why I feel they are important. An sx/so would seek out social environments to find an in for such exciting experiences, I presume.

    Hopefully this showcases the other side of SP blind well.
    @fatgurl

  7. #7
    fatgurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    LII 9w1
    Posts
    39
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by voider View Post


    And yet what I do to cope with my anxiety is go to other people, communicate with them, ask for their support and guidance. I go to my social safety net: my parents, my friends, love interest if there is one. I feel like it's necessary for me to have that kind of support, and cultivate those bonds with people so we can all support each other in times of need. It doesn't actually solve my problems, but without it I would feel like I'm going to fall apart, completely alone in the world. I've felt rejected and thrown out of the loop - it was a terrible experience and I don't want to feel it ever again.

    This is from my perspective as so/sx 2w3. I don't put a lot of focus on risky experiences on their own but I really enjoy them as bonding activities. I can do SP stuff if other people are involved - for example, if my friend is interested in skincare, I will listen to her and try to get into it as well so we can bond over that. I tend to disregard my own comfort if it means I can do more of an activity that allows me to bond with people, like stay up all night playing games or overextend seeing a lot of people all at once. It's not those experiences themselves that I seek out usually, but the bond that they forge with the people you do them with, and that is why I feel they are important. An sx/so would seek out social environments to find an in for such exciting experiences, I presume.

    Hopefully this showcases the other side of SP blind well.
    @fatgurl
    I really relate to the things in bold. I've never actually thought of it as a social safety net. I've just always liked doing everything with another person. I've actually had to force myself to be alone and do things alone, even though I'm an introvert, I don't really like it.

  8. #8
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Maizistan
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    1,852
    Mentioned
    161 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    The Enneagram doesn't seem particularly useful to me and consequently I haven't thought much about this. But I seem to be sp-last and so I'll answer.

    I usually don't think about myself much, particularly in terms of my physical existence or needs. In a more general sense I don't really have a strong self-image, and I think this often causes me to quickly partially adopt the mindset/views of people I talk with (this may be have to do with being So-first in particular).

    I also relate much to @voider's description:

    This is from my perspective as so/sx 2w3. I don't put a lot of focus on risky experiences on their own but I really enjoy them as bonding activities. I can do SP stuff if other people are involved - for example, if my friend is interested in skincare, I will listen to her and try to get into it as well so we can bond over that. I tend to disregard my own comfort if it means I can do more of an activity that allows me to bond with people, like stay up all night playing games or overextend seeing a lot of people all at once. It's not those experiences themselves that I seek out usually, but the bond that they forge with the people you do them with, and that is why I feel they are important.


    Re. anxiety, I sometimes feel something like it in social situations. The feeling is as if I'm a blank outline or void, with no features or any other characteristics, and that anything I say is likewise blank and substanceless, and that it's a struggle to communicate anything, especially anything about myself. More generally I feel anxiety because I have no real friends or social ties, and so I don't know what to do with myself or have a reason to go on living. It feels often that there's little I enjoy on my own; the only reason to live is for other people.
    Last edited by FreelancePoliceman; 03-11-2021 at 05:30 PM.

  9. #9
    asd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    TIM
    EII-C 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    608
    Mentioned
    32 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    The Enneagram doesn't seem particularly useful to me and consequently I haven't thought much about this. But I seem to be sp-last and so I'll answer.

    I usually don't think about myself much, particularly in terms of my physical existence or needs. In a more general sense I don't really have a strong self-image, and I think this often causes me to quickly partially adopt the mindset/views of people I talk with (this may be have to do with being So-first in particular).

    I also relate much to @voider's description:
    http://www.enneagram-monthly.com/subtypes.html

    where would you put your blindspot based on the article by marika dentai?

    this makes me strongly suspect you may not be SP blind. Just a suggestion though - out of curiosity.


  10. #10
    fatgurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    LII 9w1
    Posts
    39
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    The Enneagram doesn't seem particularly useful to me and consequently I haven't thought much about this. But I seem to be sp-last and so I'll answer.

    I usually don't think about myself much, particularly in terms of my physical existence or needs. In a more general sense I don't really have a strong self-image, and I think this often causes me to quickly partially adopt the mindset/views of people I talk with (this may be have to do with being So-first in particular).

    I also relate much to @voider's description:



    Re. anxiety, I sometimes feel something like it in social situations. The feeling is as if I'm a blank outline or void, with no features or any other characteristics, and that anything I say is likewise blank and substanceless, and that it's a struggle to communicate anything, especially anything about myself. More generally I feel anxiety because I have no real friends or social ties, and so I don't know what to do with myself or have a reason to go on living. It feels often that there's little I enjoy on my own; the only reason to live is for other people.
    This is something I do a lot, and it kind of made me feel ashamed that I didn't just have certain views for myself that were strong and unchanging like others seemed to.

  11. #11
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Maizistan
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    1,852
    Mentioned
    161 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    http://www.enneagram-monthly.com/subtypes.html

    where would you put your blindspot based on the article by marika dentai?

    this makes me strongly suspect you may not be SP blind. Just a suggestion though - out of curiosity.
    I would say I wrote that post in an unusual mood. Usually it approaches something like apathy, not quite since it's less that I don't care and more that I feel hopeless of changing anything. But once in a while I get sick of feeling like I can't, and I feel a temporary sense of motivation; in this case also anger.

    I'm somewhat tired ATM so I perhaps didn't read the article carefully enough, but I didn't see any part talking about blindspots particularly. But it did reinforce my belief that I'm So-first, while I related somewhat to the Sx descriptions and not much at all to the Sp. But you're welcome to raise other points in favor of my valuing Sp more.

  12. #12
    lkdhf qkb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Inferno 13th floor
    TIM
    IEE-Ne5w4/1w9/2 SPSX
    Posts
    535
    Mentioned
    28 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    @FreelancePoliceman actually most of what you wrote reminded me of enneagram 9.
    I feel ya, I also felt very lonely at some moments in my life; did you try reaching out to old acquaintances?
    Last edited by lkdhf qkb; 03-11-2021 at 07:07 PM.
    I rarely feel alone. I rarely talk to anyone, yet in my head i have the most amazing, the most fantastic discussions with the people in my life. In real life, what most people talk about is several orders of magnitude lesser than their inner experiences. Most people never reveal the singularity of their subjective experience.
    Maybe I should learn to explore other people's consciousness. Maybe I should aim for a real space between me and others. Instead of cultivating monologues and fantasies. It's hard, but the alternative to this seems to be madness. ~ lkdhf qkb

    Life is soup. I'm fork


  13. #13
    myresearch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    TIM
    LII-Ne
    Posts
    499
    Mentioned
    49 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    SP isnt necessarily linked to physical safety/focus. Hence SP blindness isnt necessarily linked to lack of it.

    SP is about self protection, guarding one's self from external. The form of this preservation changes according to enneagram type, other typology factors and individuals. Whatever the form is, it leads SP-firsts to have a more clear distinction between self and external.

    Hence, SP-lasts are more in a harmony with society and/or intimate relations, they trust and depend more on the external, intimate relations or society. When external doesnt work for them, they dont have a safety net.

  14. #14
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Maizistan
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    1,852
    Mentioned
    161 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lkdhf qkb View Post
    @FreelancePoliceman actually most of what you wrote reminded me of enneagram 9.
    I feel ya, I also felt very lonely at some moments in my life; did you try reaching out to old acquaintances?
    Perhaps. I'll be the first to admit I have some 9-ish tendencies, though on the whole I think 5 is a better typing.

    My problem is that I don't really have old acquaintances, at least not any I'd like to keep in contact with. Most of the people my age I knew when I was a kid/teenager were hyper-religious morons. Most other people from my past, e.g. extended family, don't seem terribly interested in maintaining long-distance relations.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •