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Thread: Difference Between Sp/So and Sp/Sx

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    Question Difference Between Sp/So and Sp/Sx

    I've searched a lot about this but still can't tell mine, 1 sp/so or sp/sx?

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    asd's Avatar
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    Sure, what are your reasons for either one

    sp/so I have come across have this ability of staving off attraction. They know they feel it on some level but it quite literally not even remotely their priority.

    so by attraction I mean romantic/sexual attraction. People can want relationships and what they want differs for everyone but yeah. Sp/so also seem to pride themselves on “not needing that” and being self sufficient.

    sp/sx puts relatively more importance on their attraction and they too seem to go through phase(s) of putting off attraction and just focusing on themselves (I can’t do this lol), but they seem more keen, when they do decide, on following through with that attraction.


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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    Sure, what are your reasons for either one

    sp/so I have come across have this ability of staving off attraction. They know they feel it on some level but it quite literally not even remotely their priority.

    so by attraction I mean romantic/sexual attraction. People can want relationships and what they want differs for everyone but yeah. Sp/so also seem to pride themselves on “not needing that” and being self sufficient.

    sp/sx puts relatively more importance on their attraction and they too seem to go through phase(s) of putting off attraction and just focusing on themselves (I can’t do this lol), but they seem more keen, when they do decide, on following through with that attraction.
    To be honest I only know that I am Sp first, don't really relate to the other two. I seem to repress attraction because I've never fallen in love or had a crush on someone, even thought I was asexual for some time (I'm not). Self-sufficiency is super important to me, I hate needing anyone else.

    So= I'm not intense/passionate, don't really care about romance, try to "perfect" the society around me

    Sx= If I'm going to consider someone valuable to me I want to be super close to them, if I'm not someones best friend I don't call them a friend. Love feels like a competition, if I'm not ahead I feel as if I don't have any. I also like small groups/one-on-one better.

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    asd's Avatar
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    How do you react to sx firsts trying to get close to you?


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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    How do you react to sx firsts trying to get close to you?
    Actually I'm pretty bad at spotting enneagram subtypes in real life and tend to be oblivious to someone flirting with me. For example in the past someone was constantly watching me and I blew up at them, later on I learned that they were interested in me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BudgieEnthusiast View Post
    Actually I'm pretty bad at spotting enneagram subtypes in real life and tend to be oblivious to someone flirting with me. For example in the past someone was constantly watching me and I blew up at them, later on I learned that they were interested in me.
    I see
    maybe “someone trying to get close to you” is better phrased. Sx operates in close friendships too.


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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    I see
    maybe “someone trying to get close to you” is better phrased. Sx operates in close friendships too.
    I act friendly, laugh, joke etc but at the same time my mind goes into a paranoid "What do they want from me? Are they trustworthy, will they harm or betray me?" mode (I think I have cp 6w5 in my tritype). If I find something that makes me doubt their trustworthiness or their positive feelings towards me I end the relationship, I'm very sensitive to rejection. I also never disclose important things until I trust someone completely.

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    there's this also btw:

    Sx in sp/sx
    Sx in sp/sx seems to be weak and almost non-existent at first, since they themselves
    always come first. They will never put somebody else before their own needs, even if they’re their closest friend. Instead of bulding a castle with their close ones inside like
    the sx/sp, they build walls around themselves first, secretly hoping for someone to come
    in. However, this often puts people off becoming closer to them, leaving them alone.
    Sx-Blindness
    Sx-blinds have a far gentler approach to interpersonal relationships, and are sometimes
    unsure and cautious in approaching someone they are attracted to. When in a close
    relationship, they may have trouble or insecurity in showing enough intimacy, and tend
    to compensate for this through acts of service(so) or advice and stability (sp) for their
    loved ones and/or partners. Sx blinds also have the tendency to “compartmentalize”
    their relationships, separating them and putting them into “boxes” (e.g. work
    acquaintances, online friends, real life friends, etc. are separated).
    Soc in sp/so
    The sp/so will use their Soc connection to a greater whole to provide a stable resource to
    support their Sp lifestyle. Though preferring to mind their own business, they will
    readily take on social responsibilities or situations if it doesn’t intrude on their inner
    boundaries. Although Soc-second, this stacking tends to handle people better than
    so/sp, since their sp needs are established clearly, while so/sp is usually oblivious that
    they have sp inhibitions at all.
    Soc-blinds have difficulty seeing the need to make new connections (not necessarily the
    same as friendships) and network. Seen as aloof and stand-offish, they often come with
    a lack of engagement with people, or an attitude in doing so. They are generally unafraid
    of going “against the grain” and of social rejection, ignoring social conventions, usually
    leading to a rocky relationship with authorities. They have no need to be a part of a
    society or community, presenting an outsider-looking-in perspective.


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    This clip illustrates the difference I see btw sp/sx and sp/so. Ed is sp/so and wants to live a 'normal' life(according to US social standards), while Noreen has a lot more personal idiosyncrasies that clash with normality. She also has a personal sense of style which shows the side of sp/sx that is focused on material things that give them a 'sheen' rather considering clothes as just functional and status markers like sp/so. In general sp/so is a lot more 'no nonsense'.


    I rarely feel alone. I rarely talk to anyone, yet in my head i have the most amazing, the most fantastic discussions with the people in my life. In real life, what most people talk about is several orders of magnitude lesser than their inner experiences. Most people never reveal the singularity of their subjective experience.
    Maybe I should learn to explore other people's consciousness. Maybe I should aim for a real space between me and others. Instead of cultivating monologues and fantasies. It's hard, but the alternative to this seems to be madness. ~ lkdhf qkb

    Life is soup. I'm fork


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    Sx last sx humor confuses me. They have this flippant a-sexual (if you will) approach to that.

    unless I’m mistaken some people may mistype them as sx first even because of what they talk about but the vibe is not the same. Idk if they could also be sx second. I guess it’s possible. Sx firsts I have never really seen behave that way. So last can be sometimes blissfully unaware even if they might be behaving a little off-putting in the social sense, or even a little “creepy” (not every so last haha, but just mentioning it).


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    I know what you mean with 'off-putting', sometimes I have no clue what the social script of a situation is; I'm trying to get better at harmonizing with the social environment, but belonging to a group and putting the needs of the community before mine feels uncomfortable to me; I have to force myself to care about something I don't.

    Sx last or sp last can feel 'creepy' too. The first because they can be mechanistic and cold and look like robots and the second bc they can be irresponsible, sloppy, unstable, erratic & don't care about putting people or themselves in danger.
    I rarely feel alone. I rarely talk to anyone, yet in my head i have the most amazing, the most fantastic discussions with the people in my life. In real life, what most people talk about is several orders of magnitude lesser than their inner experiences. Most people never reveal the singularity of their subjective experience.
    Maybe I should learn to explore other people's consciousness. Maybe I should aim for a real space between me and others. Instead of cultivating monologues and fantasies. It's hard, but the alternative to this seems to be madness. ~ lkdhf qkb

    Life is soup. I'm fork


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    Quote Originally Posted by asd View Post
    Sx last sx humor confuses me. They have this flippant a-sexual (if you will) approach to that.
    What kind of humor is that? Could you give an example?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BudgieEnthusiast View Post
    I act friendly, laugh, joke etc but at the same time my mind goes into a paranoid "What do they want from me? Are they trustworthy, will they harm or betray me?" mode (I think I have cp 6w5 in my tritype). If I find something that makes me doubt their trustworthiness or their positive feelings towards me I end the relationship, I'm very sensitive to rejection. I also never disclose important things until I trust someone completely.
    I'm a 6 and I'm immediately skeptical of people who try to get close to me (based on previous negative experiences). I think people can usually tell because I don't hide it, and it's hard to act friendly with someone I don't trust. I'm not a talkative person overall so I won't really say much, never considered myself as a friendly person and one person has told me that I have a lot of walls up.

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    When it comes to other people, are you generally well-aware of their existence as a person separate from the context of your relationship with them?
    SOC likes to keep track of these things even if it might have nothing to do with them, just for the sake of knowing. SO-blind might still do so, but would be discriminatory in who they take interest in and what aspects of the person they take interest in.

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    One thing I associate so is the phrase "pecking order." Do you compare yourself to others to see where you fit in the group?

    I'm an ESI sp/sx. The sx part of me takes note if someone I'm trying to get to know/establish a relationship with is attracted to me or repelled by me (Like a magnet! Or something.)

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    When it comes to other people, are you generally well-aware of their existence as a person separate from the context of your relationship with them?
    SOC likes to keep track of these things even if it might have nothing to do with them, just for the sake of knowing. SO-blind might still do so, but would be discriminatory in who they take interest in and what aspects of the person they take interest in.
    i've always very easily placed myself so-last and i haven't had a good understanding or appreciation of what the social instinct does, but this is something that i don't do and it's a great example because its the first drawback of being so-last that i've ever considered meaningful

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    When it comes to other people, are you generally well-aware of their existence as a person separate from the context of your relationship with them?
    SOC likes to keep track of these things even if it might have nothing to do with them, just for the sake of knowing. SO-blind might still do so, but would be discriminatory in who they take interest in and what aspects of the person they take interest in.
    Does this involve just knowing things about them? How their life is outside of your relationship with them?

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    like i obviously know and care if someone i love has a class they take every tuesday, but it's not something tracked or fully in my awareness if we never have plans on tuesday anyway. i may or may not give any thought about how important that class is to them, unless they talk to me about how important it is more than once.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    When it comes to other people, are you generally well-aware of their existence as a person separate from the context of your relationship with them?
    SOC likes to keep track of these things even if it might have nothing to do with them, just for the sake of knowing. SO-blind might still do so, but would be discriminatory in who they take interest in and what aspects of the person they take interest in.
    I would guess all IEIs do this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    i've always very easily placed myself so-last and i haven't had a good understanding or appreciation of what the social instinct does, but this is something that i don't do and it's a great example because its the first drawback of being so-last that i've ever considered meaningful
    What other drawbacks have you noticed that you consider meaningful?

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    Quote Originally Posted by fatgurl View Post
    Does this involve just knowing things about them? How their life is outside of your relationship with them?
    i'm not sure how to explain, but SO is like awareness of "the other". of context.


    Quote Originally Posted by ashlesha View Post
    like i obviously know and care if someone i love has a class they take every tuesday, but it's not something tracked or fully in my awareness if we never have plans on tuesday anyway. i may or may not give any thought about how important that class is to them, unless they talk to me about how important it is more than once.
    i think another example that illustrates this well is when an sp/so and sp/sx were telling me about a girl who used to be around, that i never met.
    sp/so told me things such as who she hung around and who she had beef with. (contextual things that are totally separate from herself)
    sp/sx said that all she knew was that the girl had divorced parents, because sp/sx's parents were also divorced so she felt a little kinship with her about the fact

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    Socionics is a spook ashlesha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    What other drawbacks have you noticed that you consider meaningful?
    I thought it was worth noting that this is the first time I've seen that there could be a drawback, because I notice it holds Fi meaning to me when people I know notice my life even when it doesn't matter. And I haven't considered how bad I am at that with them.

    Other so-last things I've noticed have been struggles with networking or being on top of normal things to talk about with normal people, lol. and those are definitely important and impactful things but I have trouble feeling like they're genuinely significant

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