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Thread: Which enneagram type can ILI be?

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    Default Which enneagram type can ILI be?

    I know they are mostly 5s, but can they be 9s too? Does anyone know any ILI that are 9s or any other e-type that is not 5? My sister is an SEE e7 and I am trying to figure out which ennegram type for ILI she would be compatible with.

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    ILIs seem to self-identify as the following:

    50% e5
    23% e1

    The remainder are split about equally among 3, 4, 6, 8, and 9. No ILI self-identified as an e2 or an e7.

    Interestingly enough, SEEs strongly self-identified as either e7 or e2. Opposites to ILI's. No SEE self-identifed as an e1.
    @Bethany, if your sister doesn't like e5's, then she should look for an ILI e1. That combination is also often found in marriages between female e7's and male e1's.

    https://www.9types.com/writeup/ennea...ationships.php

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    For some reason I haven't met an ILI 5, despite the claims that they are the most common. I've met 6w5s, 8s and 1s. I agree with Adam that 2 and 7 ILI don't really exist (I'd honestly be afraid of an e2 ILI lol).

    fwiw I'm an SEE 2w3, and I don't like the 1s. I like the 6s and 8s. Would probably like a 4 core as well. And I agree that the 7s seem like a good match for the 1s, I've known a SEE 7-ILI 1 couple.

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    @voider, I was just talking to my ILI-Te buddy who is married to an ESI-Se. I told him that I was dating an ESI-Fi who was not the sports model ESI but rather was the nesting model ESI, and I'm learning a lot about the type. For example, I said, she had a lot to say about her co-workers. A lot, and most of it was critical.

    "Yeah", he said. In that one word, he put a lot of feeling. Sort of like him having to listen to his ESI wife go on and on every day about how "her coworkers aren't doing the right thing" was wearing him down the way breaking rocks with a sledgehammer in the sun would wear him down. He seemed entirely unhappy with her in this respect.

    He's hinted that their sex life isn't ideal, either, but I think that ILI's need a kind of attention that ESI's just don't give. She's a clear e6, but I'm not sure which e-type he is. He's a lawyer but he practices Estate Law. Maybe e2? He's always helping someone, FWIW.

    So, my question is, when you get home from a hard day at work, do you complain about your coworkers? I mean, a lot? Because my ILI buddy seems to have a very low tolerance for that. He endures, but he's far from happy.

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    @Adam Strange I do that sometimes but not terribly often, no. It's usually if I need advice about something or a particularly big injustice has happened. Even then I'm always aware of how much I'm doing it and whether or not the person I'm complaining to is getting sick of it. I always try to make sure, if I'm doing any complaining, that the communication is equal and I'm pulling my weight too (usually by offering emotional support). If I am really mad I re-tell my complaints to a bunch of different people, so as not to annoy a singular person by repeating the same thing over and over again. It's tactical.

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    I've known a lot of ILIs for some reason. My dad is 9w1, I know two who are 3w4, two who are 4s (Sx subtype), an 8w7 (pretty unusual I think), a 9w8, and another I suspect is 1w9.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I think that ILI's need a kind of attention that ESI's just don't give.
    Yes. ILIs need Fe--just very sensitively presented and not controlling and not too much--which ESIs ignore. The ILIs I've known really appreciate when someone notices and considers their feelings, even if they rarely ask for it.

    Ixxp with Ixxj temperament can be wearing over time, too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    I've known a lot of ILIs for some reason. My dad is 9w1, I know two who are 3w4, two who are 4s (Sx subtype), an 8w7 (pretty unusual I think), a 9w8, and another I suspect is 1w9.
    Do you know any 5s? I'm wondering if I just haven't met any or if the self-reported ILI 5s are actually mostly mistyped. On paper ILI 5 really makes sense for sure though.

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    @voider I couldn't think of a single Five when I saw this post, but the more I think about it, there are two ILI acquaintances who could be Fives. One lady is definitely a withdrawn type, but she might actually be another 9. The other ILI could be either 5w6 or 6w5. I don't know either of them well enough to say, but yeah, in my personal life I'm not seeing a lot of ILI Fives.

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    There's a possibility I'm mistyping some of them, though.

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    @Emily yeah with the 5s and 9s it can get hard to tell the difference, especially with how withdrawn they'll be based on the type combo. I've read that often 9s mistype as 5s though, based on being withdrawn and cerebral type interests.

    A detailed comparison and contrast between Fives and Nines is warranted because so many Nines mistakenly think that they are Fives; typically, the misidentification almost never happens the other way around. Particularly if they are well educated and intelligent, average male Nines tend to think that they are Fives.
    (from Enneagram Institute)

    Thank you for the answer

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    I know other ILI's, two of whom I would type as e5. The first one just keeps taking more and more college courses to get more and more degrees. He deep-dives into subjects and is extremely defensive about everything he does and almost everyone thinks he's a nice guy but a pain in the ass. This ILI is also married to an ESI, but is a different guy from the e2 ILI whom I described above.

    The second guy manages IT for a college and is so remote from people that he explained to me how easy it would be for him to kill the college president, whom he hates, by feeding the security cameras false data while he booby-traps the president's private office. This guy has a '69 Shelby Cobra in his garage, is independently wealthy, and has had GF's but none of them stuck. Might be the gargoyles in his living room or the secret room in his basement, IDK.

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    For sure! Good stuff from enneagram institute. Yeah, something I noticed with my 9w1 dad is that he's not really a seeker of new knowledge. He does read some, but it's more the same things again and again, like for comfort or something. I don't see him engage with a lot of new ideas or look to have "ownership" in the realm of thought the way a Five would.

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    Seems like there is quite a bit of variety. Really interesting. I know two e5s but I imagine the other types would present quite differently.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

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    all typed ILIs I know of self identify as type 5.. theoretically they could be 9s and 4s as well, maybe type 6.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I think that ILI's need a kind of attention that ESI's just don't give.

    That's the truth of that combination, at least in my experience. Lots of misunderstanding, unfortunately.

    Quote Originally Posted by voider View Post
    Do you know any 5s? I'm wondering if I just haven't met any or if the self-reported ILI 5s are actually mostly mistyped. On paper ILI 5 really makes sense for sure though.
    Unhealthy ILI's often type as 5s cuz their 8 have disintegrated.
    "The society that separates it's scholars from it's warriors will have it's thinking done by cowards and it's fighting by fools." ―Thucydides

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    I wonder if one I knew might have been an ILI 9

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