I grabbed this questionnaire from some Reddit post so if the information is not to your liking then no I'm not filling out another one of these (yes I will actually fill out another one of these, just let me whine a bit). This is mentally taxing as hell and Idk why.
Q0: Disclaim now if you have any mental health problems or are in a particular mental state (sad, annoyed, etc) which may bias or change your answers. This will allow typists to make adjustments.
I did the DASS 21 test a while ago and got mild depression, still it’s a self-assessment so I’m not too sure. Also I’m currently in a rather bad chapter of my life: I deeply want to pursue a certain interest/job but failed to prove myself competent and to defend myself against my parents’ wishes (I’m not very quick-witted in arguments). So I… well, suffer silently? It’s been some 2 years now I think. (Oh the 21st century schizoid minors...) This has become commonplace in my life, so I don’t think it’ll affect my results much other than a strong negative attitude against “mundane productivity” (that’s how I like to call it), and maybe the fact that I’m overly conscious of many things and I’m very unsure of my future.
(I do intend to move out when I’m done with high school, and just freely pursue whatever I want afterwards)
Q1: Why do you want to learn more about your type? Also, why are you interested in personality typology in general?
There’s no reason tbh. I was on the Internet, I came across things, I noticed I can think a lot about said things, and boom now I’m here. The reason it sticks is because it’s intellectually stimulating I think, and it has also positively impacted my worldview too. Like a good game. (chess?)
Q2: Work/life balance: do you use a concept like this? Do you think that there is a distinction between "work" and "life"? Explain why or why not.
Uhh so if you’ve read Q0 then I think you can tell that I’m not the most balanced human being ever. That being said, I feel like even if things were better I still pretty much equate my intellectual interest with both “work” and “life”. The ideal state is to tirelessly contemplate & communicate my insights and ideas. But it needs to be about that particular interest, otherwise life suddenly sucks. So what if my job really is not going to be something that I’m interested in…? I’ll seek outside stimulation then, and then the job will simply fall out of priority.
Q3: What do you look for in your friends? What qualities do you like having in your friends and what qualities do you not like? Explain why you like and dislike said qualities.
I don’t consciously keep these things in my mind… Whatever quality that makes a good time I guess. I want to have fun discussions about all kinds of things in the world with my friends. So, in particular, what I need is probably some IQ, some EQ, open-mindedness and carefreeness. I also don’t like conversations that revolve around practical everyday life matters, it just seems boring to me. It seems that I treat people who are merely helpful to me as “helpful people” or “business partners” rather than actual friends (or maybe I’m just one ungrateful brat). On the other hand I’m almost instantly a friend with anybody who can hold an interesting conversation and who has a comfortable personality outside of their work (I feel like this is actually harder than it sounds). I also dislike being forced by other people to behave in a certain “virtuous” way and I like to play devil’s advocate at times, so no moral policing.
Q4: Do you behave differently with strangers or in professional settings compared to people you know or in casual settings? Explain the differences and explain possible reasons why those reasons exist. If there are little to no differences, explain possible reasons why there are little to no differences.
As you can see I’m still in high school, and I’m not in the student council or anything, so… my “professional setting” really is not formal at all. To think of an instance where I actually have to be formal… Those are extremely rare. I currently am not having any recollection of such events. Or maybe I might have been too comfortable in situations where I am expected to act more properly.
Some mildly formal situations might include going for a health check-up or visiting elders, in which case I simply restrain myself and don’t speak unless prompted, maybe occasionally and randomly laugh to ease the air (for myself). Or I might ignore the conversation and look at my phone instead, “minding my own business”. I feel like I really have nothing to contribute at all in an overly serious environment.
As to strangers in informal situations (say, on a Grab bike/drive), there’re 2 cases: either they stay silent and I keep going on with whatever I’m having in my head, or they initiate a conversation and I adapt along. Basically I just answer their questions, laugh a bit (this works pretty well?), then give some additional commentary to show investment in the conversation. And honestly? I’m actually invested. It’s easier to talk with strangers than with loose acquaintances: The latter always seem to expect something from me, and I dislike expectations (my personal situation might come into play here), while the former can just talk about very ordinary things without any concern about rankings, or achievements, or obligations, etc. (things which I’m already too tired to care about)
Q5: When other people talk about you, how do they usually describe you and the way you act? How do other people say they perceive you? Do not talk about your opinion on how people perceive you (Q6).
I’ve been described as “smart” and “think different” (?) so much that it feels generic now, so I’ll give other stuffs instead:
A girl of my age who I’d say is insecure, timid, clingy, probably Fe-ignoring or Fe-PoLR described me as “too nice”, or rather “too undemanding”. This happened after she allowed me to ask for whatever I might need from her, which I responded with “none”. I’m not sure if that upset her or not, but that’s just how I am: I minimize my demand on the world with the expectation that the world would do the same to me (Enneagram 5?). The only thing I really demand is freedom to pursue my interest despite the odds, and in many situations I feel like it’s actually harder to defend than material demands...
Another girl who is some 8 years older than me (a “senpai”), jolly, optimistic despite the struggle of living, openly but light-heartedly romantic, an art nerd, very much minding her own business, IEI?, once told me that I “take life too seriously” and “fixate too much on my intellectual interest”. “You only have one life lil’ boy, why bother spending it being so full of worries?” - something along that line.
On the other hand my mom with her pronounced realism thinks of me as “not taking life seriously enough”, viewing my refusal to work on something for the benefits it brings (let’s just call it “Delta work”) as “selfishness” (while I myself have no intention to limit my existence to working for the paychecks at all). She herself said that “all passion will have to wait until one can make a living”, which is technically true but it does not fit my situation at all because with my skills, it’s hard to actually imagine me struggling for a dollar. Though I would say that a humble living is fine, as long as I can pour a lot of time into what I want to do...
My classmates never describe me at all (so this technically should be on Q6, but I’m having everyone here). If they do, I’m guessing it would go something along the line of “funny, approachable with unlimited shitposting capability”. They don’t know anything about my personal struggles though, I hide it from them carefully and will only reveal to those I believe is trustworthy.
Q6: How do you think other people perceive you? What do you want other people to see in you? When others hear the name [Your Name], what do you want them to think of? Do you (or do you feel that you) are projecting a "persona"? Why or why not? Do you think you projecting (or not) your persona is a good or bad thing? Explain why.
I pretty much agree with what people think of me on Q5, and I’m actually unable to come up with any additions for now.
In terms of what I want to be seen as… Well, I’d say I want to be perceived as an unconventional and creative person with “unconventional insights”. I’ll immodestly say that I think I’ve got the “unconventional wisdom” part okay, but I wish I can train myself better; the struggle to start a new interest (particularly in a creative field) proves to be tremendous for me. My brain travels miles ahead of what my physic is capable of.
Hmm… I actually often think of the multiple paths that I can take in life. In my (wild ass) fantasy I’m a well-renowned artist (musician or director) who slowly yet consistently produces ground-breaking works which capture comprehensive ideas about different world issues. “To paint an intuitive picture of the world”. (I stole this idea from Harari’s “Homo Deus”, but) Also “to produce responsible fiction”. In this sense art is all about intellectual expression, and well, I never care too much about self-expression tbh. I want people to pay attention not to me (that’d be stressful and depressing), but to the things I do instead.
(At the same time, I’d say that I dislike any form of art that intentionally obscures itself, that requires active participation in the field to be understood. While I do appreciate unorthodoxy and complexity in art, I prefer this complexity to be decipherable even in the eyes of a common person. This probably is why I like music and films above all else)
That, or maybe… I’ll be a teacher. “Guiding children towards a better future”? Because most teachers aren’t there to guide their students but rather to make a living and to fill these kids’ minds with knowledge that will only be necessary to… continue making a living. (I’m targeting natural science here, I actually think social science knowledge can never really be too much.) And that’s kinda sad. My personal idea of “the most essential knowledge” is not about making a living, but about knowing the significance of things in the world.
“Yes, that sounds neat and all, but you can’t even handle it when kids and pets get too close to you…” Oh, whatever. Maybe I’ll become something totally different, who knows… Is the above enough to tell about how I want to be perceived?
In terms of “persona”... I hide my personal struggles from normal people whom I deem “need not know about it”, but other than that I think I present myself pretty authentically (there’s always some slight adaptation going on though). So it’s not just black & white, “unhinged” vs “pretentious”, but rather a spectrum. I think it’s a normal thing (neither good nor bad) as long as people don’t fall into either of the extremes.
But that’s irl, where I have to react to things quickly. When I’m online on the other hand, I… have a feeling that I’m constantly projecting a persona that’s mostly the same as but more excited than my irl self. And texting also allows me to have much more time to carefully flesh out what I want to say, so I might seem better-spoken here. It’s slightly exhausting at times, like holding a cup for longer than a minute kind of thing. But when it comes to typing it becomes a real hurdle, because I always have this feeling that I’m acting as the type that I think I am at a given moment and not my real self… Even in this questionnaire too, there are countless places where I can’t tell if I’m really being honest or if I’m just very quick with subconsciously protecting my ego...
Q7: When interacting socially, do you take note of who interacts with who? That is to say, do you take note of the "cliques" or "groups" that form in environments such as work or school? Does this knowledge or this not knowing factor into your decision making in social interaction?
I do, but only in my surroundings, and the surroundings of a socially inept person would be relatively small I’d say. At best this knowledge only dictates who I hang out with and who not, I never care enough about gaining anything from the world to pay more attention than that. And while I know who hangs out with whom I’m utterly incognizant of what exactly are the relationships between two people. Those things never matter to me anyway. Roles don’t matter, and if it does to you then get off your high horse please. “Professional manners” too (not to be confused with “professionalism”), feels more like “systemized expectations” to me. If I’m good at something then the way I dress or talk should not affect my skills at all right? (except if those things directly concern the set of skills here)
Q8: What qualities or values do you value or want to see in yourself? Do you meet those qualities or values? Why do you value those qualities and values?
This question asks about my desired qualities rather than what is already present right?
I want to be more confident I think. I’ve already set myself back too much for compromises, and I’d want to be more assertive with my needs.
I want to get better at fact-checking too. Most of my knowledge is just personal observations weaved together to form conclusions that make sense. But there are like, thousands of ways to interpret the same set of facts or events (not necessarily correct, but “makes internal sense”). Leave me alone with my mind and some days I’m LII, some days IEI, lately ILI. It gets tiring constantly rewiring my perception like that, so I think that a more grounded mind will excel further in intellectual pursuits. (Even when I think that my capability to “rewire” is pretty valuable already)
Q9: Imagine your ideal house. What does it look like? What rooms are there and how are they arranged? What amenities does it have? You are free to design a house either for yourself or for family/friends.
I visit my grandma’s house sometimes, it is pretty secluded, and it makes me realize that I don’t like secluded houses at all, so the house should be placed somewhere a bit busy. For background noise tbh, I rarely actually meet humans after all. Better if it’s just a small apartment for myself only. If there’s another person in the house then I’ll let them decide on how the main rooms will look like and personalize my own room instead. Maybe this means that I actually don’t need a bigger living place than a room. I’m thinking of those long chains of rental apartments that you often see in Japan. Better than having a big house I think; a big house just makes things difficult to manage. (If I do eventually have another person aka my s/o in my place then I’ll think about it later)
Inside the house… I suppose it simply should have things that every other house might have…? Like water and light and stuff. Huh yeah that’s a given. Dumb me. Then maybe the question is about the designs instead…? It should have some places for my anime merch. I also intend to decorate the house with anime stuff too. However, I’m picking stuff that does not give it right away to be anime; stuff that is “subtle” so that only people who know the anime will notice. I heard that otherwise “the decoration will get overwhelming very quickly”.
Other than those things, Idrc tbh. I’m too in-my-head to truly give a shit about my environment anyway.
Q10: What hobbies or creative pursuits do you take in your free time? Why did you decide to take up these hobbies or creative pursuits? In what way do these impact your life?
(Oh so we do have a question about it here, I’ve scanned the whole questionnaire but missed this one… I’ve talked about this a bit above, but I’ll continue
So yeah I’m interested in music and film. They’re complex. They’re brilliant. They penetrate into the depth, the essence of various subjects in life. I find myself drawn to the critic community concerning music (it’s musictwt in particular, might check out /mu/ some days as well). They like to take themselves half-seriously, which is pretty much the same way that I function too. Watching people dropping their biggest, hottest dumpster fire opinions and then seeing others unironically support it… It’s fun to see people freely communicate their minds.
In terms of actually creating… I consider myself rather incompetent here. To strip away all the fun parts that make up art and start from the fundamentals, when things do not even have a form to be interesting or not, when I have to use my hands... I think it’s draining. I do want to try out creating eventually, however the thought of making underwhelming works and discovering just how ordinary I actually am… It’ll be a humbling experience, but I’m not sure if I can even last that long or not…
I like to play games too. In this aspect I actually like to play alone more, as I feel the gaming community is very serious and competitive about their equally dumpster fire takes. It feels like they’re not here to enjoy the games but to cause a ruckus with one another… They’re also very boastful with their victory, as if to humiliate the losers… And I don’t like to be humiliated. So I mostly do single-player. I play games mostly on my phone (because it’s free and it’s conventional to use stuff if they’re free here). Strategy games? There’s this funny game called Really Bad Chess. Basically it’s shuffled chess, with a number from 0 to 100 next to it to indicate the level of difficulty. I think my biggest achievement is to win at lvl 95 once, where the AI has at least two queens ahead of me. (The AI is rookie as hell tho). I play turn-based strategy games sometimes, and rarely ever lose against the AI (or, again, the AI is just fucking dumb). I never progress far in tower defense, or any game where I have to decide quickly AND precisely tho… If I have to function in real time then I just… don’t? Malfunction? (This is why I can’t play Among Us, it stresses the fuck out of me and I can’t think straight at all). So maybe I just like games that flatter my ego for winning…?
Q11: When beginning a romantic relationship, what are you most afraid of happening (with respect to the romantic relationship)? If you have never been in a romantic relationship, imagine.
From real life experience, I’d say… Starting it? I can and will be a closet romantic. I don’t really know. During this time period, I’d just… examine my feelings very carefully to see if it’s really a romantic attraction or if I just get very horny again. Of course, this goes nowhere, and after a while I’ll end up being honest with myself that I am attracted to that person. But Idk, I don’t feel confident initiating contact with anyone. I assume myself as a person who only has niche things to talk about, and therefore “unloveable”. What if they don’t like anything that I can ever offer on the table? What if my opinion triggers them? What if I have some weird compulsive habits that turn them off? And maybe I’m just very unremarkable financially and socially? I acknowledge the benefit of just jumping right into it, but… The most I’d do is to tip-toe around the person, and if they show signs of repulsion against my behaviors then I’ll shoot myself down.
And because of all this preparation, the second thing that I’m afraid of is when things still find their way to go wrong. And while I can cope with the first situation to some degree, this one is just inevitable. And I can’t just run away like the first one, because if we can progress so far then it actually means that we do have something together, and so I must bravely face it. Somehow. I don’t handle these situations very well… I gradually learn to act in comedic situations and to talk philosophically, but when it requires more emotional weight… I can devise a few strategies, mostly to relate the conversation back to what I’m comfortable talking about (you’re sad and in need of emotional support? I can give you life lessons and insights that you definitely didn’t ask for), and I really don’t know where it’ll go at all. I’m mostly reliant on the other person’s willingness to forgive.
Q12: Related to Q11: describe your ideal partner and what traits or qualities they have. Describe their body and demeanor. Do the things you expect and want in a partner parallel what you expect and want from yourself?
Wdym “body”??? I mean, the hotter the better??? I think that’s pretty universal?
But seriously, well… Someone who can pull me out of the rut that I’ve built for myself and show me new and exciting things. Someone who can uplift my mood in hard times and remind me of my capability as well as the possibility to get through struggles, pretty much forcing me out of sullenness. And maybe she can directly help me with that too. Willing to listen to what I have to say. Dominant yet not intimidating, respectful of my personal space. It’s better if she handles most of the everyday manual work and I’ll join in sometimes.
(And unfortunately I don’t care about my sexual identity enough to begin to contemplate my preferences for a non-cishet partner)
Q13: Also pertaining to romance: now that you have elaborated on your ideal partner, describe your ideal relationship with that partner. How will you and them interact? What will daily life be like? Why do you want this life?
Putting some colors into my life. Doing exciting things together. Maybe travelling the globe, maybe having simple fun together. Like, watching movies? Physical affection is cool too. Talking typology too? Dumb jokes? Idk, there are many things we could do together.
But if I know for sure that we are being serious with the idea of living together then I’ll bring up important topics very early on (is that what “early on” means…) Like, are we having babies or not, if yes then how many, who will do what, … (I hope both of us can spend some time interacting at a closer distance with the kid). I did not have the most caring parents ever, and definitely do not want to repeat their mistakes. My parents were too absorbed with improving our financial condition, my sister could not find a common voice with me, and we also moved houses a lot so I was a pretty lonely child (I didn't even notice this to be a problem until the recent years).
Also, if I were to take up some major endeavor, I think I’ll leave her outside of it. She can generally support and accommodate me, but I wouldn't want to get her too deep into it. I’m not cruel enough to ruin the smile on my ball of sunshine’s face (wow I really just call her that way). But… If she were to be able to handle the hardship with a smile as well then of course that’s nicer.
Q14: What is your relationship with money? Do you value money? What are your spending habits? Do you try to save money? Do you see yourself as good at handling money?
I’m still not financially independent yet, so it’s not very helpful here, since I technically can always ask when I need stuff (my parents are too lenient with me when it comes to finance). However, I mostly just spend my money on food and transportation and very occasionally books and anime stuff, so I actually don’t spend much at all in comparison to other people. I have this habit of turning everything that I’m going to buy into book equivalent, like “oh so the exam fee cost like 20 books or sth jfc” (I think a book here costs around $2.00-3.00), and so every time I might want to use a decent amount of money I’ll get reminded or whether it’s actually worth it or not. So I actually dislike money, because it’s like wasting books…
Of course, I will need to have a more realistic evaluation of money in the future too. But I still think that I won’t be a wasteful person at all. The only way I can think of me wasting money is if I get something done wrong and now have to pay extra for it.
Other than that, “working for the paychecks” sounds off to me. I think I’ve talked plenty about this up above.
Q15: What is your fashion sense? What do you usually wear when going out? Do you see yourself as being fashionable? Do you care about fashion and the manner with which you present yourself to others?
Like a bum. By this I mean very casual, absolutely unremarkable with basic jeans and T-shirt. I do like good designs on T-shirt tho, but the way I choose my clothes… it’s almost like wearing my personality on my sleeve, giving practically zero fuck about fashionability. I do think my appearance probably turns people off too. I honestly think if someone takes this matter too seriously then they’re not worth my attention… I don’t oppose improvements in this aspect tho.
Q16: The bedroom is arguably the most personal space one has. So, describe the state of your bedroom. Is it organized or messy? How are the things arranged? What objects are in it? Decorations? Do you particularly care about the state of your bedroom or your living spaces in general?
I’ve just moved to a new house recently and so I don’t think my room is in its most natural state yet. “What objects are in it?” Well, other than usual bedroom stuff, I have textbooks and notebooks for school, and a big shelf for books and my anime figurines. Other than that shelf, I don’t think I really care about anything else. Other members in my family do leave their stuff here when their rooms have not had the place for them too. For now I’m having my mom’s printer and suitcase on the other side of the bed. The pile of textbooks gets messy very quickly; I just place them on top of another without much thought. Uhh… I’m going into the details here. Looking at my room as a whole… is there anything else to say? I mean, I really don’t care about my living place at all. Practically anywhere is fine.
Q17: When you feel upset, what do you usually do to make yourself feel better/what do you do in general when you are upset? "Upset" I am defining to be "state of extremely feeling a/some negative emotion(s)".
Mostly indulge in it, just.. Sitting there and doing nothing because I technically have work that I must finish but can’t make up my mind over whether I should pick my spirit up or continue being sad. This usually ends at bedtime, when I have to, well, sleep (duh). Listen to sad music too, I think. I’ve cried to 4 by Aphex Twin a number of times now, I’m not sure why. IIrc there’s a comment on Youtube which relates this song to the act of reminiscing. And so it, well, throws me into reminiscence. I miss the innocence I had in my childhood. Like, a lot. Like, I think “A Simpler Existence” would be a great band name or something. Maybe I’ll have that band play some Kero Kero Bonito kind of thing. Now everything is complicated. Now I don’t know how my future will play out. Now my worth is attached to how much productivity I can carry out. Now the world condition at large is messy and nothing is ever certain. Now my country has developed too quickly (I’m not talking finances here duh) and I cannot feel a single bit of its cultural heritage (supposedly rich) within me. And everytime I want to spend my time looking at cute things to relax a bit my mom would randomly barge in and tell me to work. “Other people work their asses off to achieve their goals, why are you so unconcerned all the time?”
...I know for a long time now that all I need is a proper break away from the world. Now I can’t tell when was the last time that my mind was genuinely at ease. Yeah, I’m looking forward to whatever might happen in college, I think.
Also I might rant on social media if it has been a very bad day and I become unbearably frustrated with the way things are. I don’t really hate specific human, it’s much easier to just call out whatever negative traits that I’m not fucking with in people. Some people can take this as the sign of an enemy, and that alone counts as a negative trait. This usually happens after I tolerate people’s selfish moral standards for too long too. And because of this politics twt has been a terrible place for me. While I am drawn to knowing more about the way that the world functions, the way that people focus on protecting their own agendas without ever actually hearing out the other side for once frustrates me to no end. I’m not very into “protecting my own rights” at all, I think the world would be a far better place if people cared about themselves less, not more.
Q18: Now that you have finished the questionnaire, do you have any notes or anything to add? You may talk about how you felt taking the questionnaire and the experience of answering the questions. This may also be used to help select a type for you.
It takes me some 2 weeks to finish this whole thing, both because I share too much and because I keep falling into a state of false certainty where a type seems obvious from the text, only for me to wake up the next day and feel totally different.... Other than that, Idk? What do you want to hear more? Just say it and I’ll talk more about it I think.