What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I study modern languages and literatures at university. Previously, I chose a high school where we studied mostly scientific subjects, I chose it even if I didnít really like the subjects (I thought science could give me a better future), but it backfired, I wasnít getting good marks and I ended up hating even the idea of opening the science/math book. So I made up my mind to choose only subjects I would enjoy in university. I liked English and literature, so here I am. There are only few things I donít like but I think itís normal, there is always a flaw even in things you love a lot. The subject I don't really like is linguistics, because it has a scientific approach (but some things are cool so itís ok I guess).
What are your values, and why?
Being at peace with myself, have a sort of internal harmony, being free to do what I like, respect other people, be authentic. Why? I donít know, I like to feel ok and do what I like. I like respecting people because I hate it when people donít respect me.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
Oh well, right now I spend a lot of my time on the internet, I play games, watch some stuff (I like to get distractions from the real world). I like also cooking sweets from time to time, writing and drawing (I like creating, for sweets I really like the process of baking). I like discussing my favourite shows with my friends (Iím in for analysis, theories, opinions, especially about the characters).
Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
In my family we love each other, but I usually donít talk about me to them. I think they donít really know me. Iím much more open with my friends, because I feel they wouldnít judge me, no matter what I say. My parents end up judging me, not in a harsh way, itís like they donít really understand what Iím talking about. For example, if I say I like something, they probably wouldnít consider that thing important or they would think there is something more urgent. Other people would probably just go on with their life since 90% of parents donít understand their childrenís interests, but itís easy to ďhurtĒ me, so I ended up avoiding talking about me.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
It took me a while to find friends, I donít really think I am lucky enough to be able to choose. I welcome pretty much everyone. But I have two friends I consider as ďrealĒ friends: the first one is someone with whom I can talk about anything, the other one is someone that is willing to help me if I ask her. I guess I like it when they donít judge me and show they care about me.
I have many ideals about my romantic life, ideals that obv donít exist in the real world. Iím the kind of person who gives everything when she falls in love, so I try to avoid falling for people who donít deserve my time and effort. It's als pretty hard for me to fall out of love, I don't think I really stopped liking my previous crushes.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I donít really get into conflicts a lot. I get annoyed by many things, but I wouldnít call them conflicts. In general I donít like when people get in my way (for example, if Iím doing something and my mother calls me and I have to quit the previous activity), or when they enter in their venting mode and there is no way to stop them. I also dislike when people ďdonít comply with the agreementĒ (for example, I say to a friend to meet at a certain time and place, but at the last moment they say they wonít come or arrive absurdly late). In general, I don't like when people disturb/ruin my plans, activities etc.
How would your friends describe you?
Calm, relaxed, diligent, responsible, trustworthy, helpful, kind, shy, quiet, serious, cold, a bit stubborn, the kind of person who is generally nice but not so interesting. My closest friend considers me as a well-balanced person, considerate of others and determinated/strong.
What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
People say that Iím calm even in the most stressful situations, maybe they think Iím smart since they often ask help to me for academic reasons. About myself I like that Iím someone who can get things done. Iím very lazy and I lack the drive to do most things, I would procrastinate like thereís no tomorrow, but when the time comes (aka when I literally canít procrastinate anymore) I get my things done. I still canít explain to myself how Iíve managed so nicely until now despite being a complete mess.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I tend to hate the judgement of people. I hate when people tell me to speak or smile more. I hate when people say that Iím incompetent in something and get aggressive in the meanwhile. I hate criticism in general. I take every criticism on a personal level, so if a teacher tell me that I shouldíve studied better then I will be offended (even if they are right). If someone tells me I shouldíve done something in a different way I get upset because I think ďmy wayĒ is better or a least more enjoyable.
About myself I dislike my shyness, my lack of confidence, my lack of structure (I'm able to plan, but I can't follow my plan), it's hard for me to get things done in a proper way, I usually end up rushing everything in the last days.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
Thatís a hard question. Iíll answer the second one first. I really lack structure and the ability to stick to a plan. As I said above, Iím a huge procrastinator and if I donít have someone else to ďforceĒ me to do things then I wouldnít do them. I wonder what I can manage on my ownÖ understanding people maybe? I can understand people very easily and grasp their motives.
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I think I dislike housework, study sometimes or even waiting. About the things I enjoy, probably watching something, have a walk or talk with a friend.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
I donít know how to plan the future lol I have a vague idea of what Iíd like, but given the current situation, I think my vague idea is a bit too vague and I need something more practicalÖ Iím thinking of going into teaching, just because it is a more stable job, at least for nowÖ I wish in the future I could quit and do a job closer to my aspirations. I also wish I could travel a lot and maybe live in another country, I want to have fun and do nice things.
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
Oh as I said above, Iíd probably travel a lot, have some fun, try new things, enjoy the world basically. Maybe build a nice house, have nice clothes etc.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
Mmm, hard question. I like talkative people, this trait could be considered as annoying by someone. Also, people who are funny and positive most of the time (my friend on the other hand dislikes people who are always goofy, so I think not everyone likes them), someone who has a lot of energy. For the second question, I think I donít trust people who ďlieĒ to keep the nice atmosphere in the group, like laughing at a joke that is not funny, or faking interest for someoneís words, or in general pretending you care about things you actually hate. I donít think itís always a malevolent behaviour and maybe they just want to make everyone feel comfortable, but anyway I canít help mistrusting them.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
My room is so small, I canít do anything at all to arrange it better. I donít really manage it that much, it is very messy (donít look at my desk, full of books, sheets etc.). I just keep my bed in order (because my mother would kill me if I didnít).
Why are daily chores "daily"? Why should we do them every day? What if I want to take a holiday and do nothing? I understand they are necessary in order to have a decent life, but some days Iím like ďI donít want to do anythingĒ
How do you behave around strangers?
If itís just one stranger I can be pretty confident. On one on one interactions, I feel very comfortable, no matter who the person is. If the stranger becomes a group of strangers, it gets a bit harder.
Iím not really scared or intimidated by strangers, I always see them as potential new friends or acquaintances so I try to do my best.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
If someone comes at me and throw random insults, I would probably find it hilarious. Once an ex of my friend ďattackedĒ me verbally and I couldnít even take him seriously because his anger made no sense to me. Thatís probably because I didnít really care about him and I didnít consider him my problem. But on another occasion, I found out a friend (ironically sheís the ex-girlfriend of that dude) was talking behind my back with her friends. That made me furious, but I kept quiet because I didnít want to make a scene in front of everyone. As soon as me and her were alone, I insulted her and her friends in every possible way. That made me feel very goodÖ it was probably the first time I talked like that to someone close to me.
My brother is another source of conflict, in the sense that heís very aggressive in his speech and is the kind of person who takes his stress out on his family. It annoys me so much because most of the times I canít properly answer him back or defend myself, so Iíll just be quiet.
What is one common misconception that people have about things? Explain why it is wrong.
Oh thatís deepÖ these days I would probably say the fact that they are entitled to share their opinions left and right, even if their opinions are useless or create harm. For example, ome days ago I found a post on twitter of a person posting the screen of a 13 yo girl's tweet and they commented it was cringe. I also think that 13 yo are cringe most of the time, but why did this person have to make a post about it? Why sharing such a useless piece of information and embarrass a girl who is behaving like a normal girl of that age? And who the hell cares about your opnion? Why does it seem like everyone has this sort of anger inside and they have to vent it in the most stupid ways?
This example is probably very stupid, but I really hate it when people suddenly becomes either experts of medicine, politics, economy and share their opinions everywhere and criticize those who are suppossed to be the "experts" of that particular field. The problem maybe is that most of those posts are not opinions, opinions have the ability to change or improve, but theirs are more like a final judgement with no opportunity of dialogue.
What did you do last Friday?
Last Friday? The usual stuff, I probably also studied because I had an exam on Monday. By usual stuff I mean, waking up, having breakfast and a shower, spending some time on my smartphone, eating lunch, play some game, then study, then dinner, then again some surfing on the internet and back to bed.
If you are doing a video you can stop here or choose from the rest of the questions as you like.
If you are answering in writing, please answer ALL questions.
What is your biggest accomplishment?
I guess being successful at university. After the disaster of high school, I didnít really have much confidence in myself. Also, I proved to myself that Iím able to make some friends and that some people might actually like me. I also realized I can function pretty well even outside of my family.
What is something you regret?
If I could, I would rewrite my school life. Not just from an academic point of view, but Iíd try to be more open and build good relationships with my classmates.
Who do you admire, and why?
I admire people who fulfil their dreams, people who are ready to help, people who are competent and compassionate, people who are able to build good relationships with others.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
Iím mostly worried by the current situation, my future looks very bleak, Iím afraid Iíll always be stuck into this tiny village to live a boring life.
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
I have shaky beliefs, I was raised in a religious context, but I donít really respect any of the rituals/traditions. Rationally, I canít find any clue to believe in a god, I think religion is a nice lie invented to bring a bit of sense to human lifeÖ but I hate this thought, I canít accept it and I censure it, so I kinda believe in a superior being. When things are tough I pray too, it makes me feel better.
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
Politicians suck, theyíre just there because they like power and privilege. At the same time, politics is useful and necessary, the problem is that to do politics you need people and most people canít go beyond their little interests.
On an ideal plan, I wish politics would allow every person to live freely according to who they really are, no matter where they come from, what religion or sexual preference they have etc.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
A part of me would enjoy it, a part of me wouldnít. Having something that is ďyoursĒ is cool, but if something is yours you are responsible for it. So probably Iíd work better if I had a chief, or something like this, who could guide me.
What kind of business? Well, I wouldnít mind opening a language school, or something like a cafť or a hotel or a travel agency.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
I prefer an ďeasyĒ environment, a job that doesnít suck every part of your time/energy. Jobs for me are not the most important part of our lives, itís just a way to make money and support the best parts of life (hobbies, free time etc.).
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
In school was literature, English, history. I was always better at humanities than science. I love literature because I enjoy studying other peopleís life and feelings, learning their opinions and thoughts. I didnít really thought much of English, but in high school I realized I got nice results with little effort. It was easy for me and then it also became a way to open up myself to the rest of the world and widen my interests. History was my first love, more or less for the same reason I like literature: letís say that I like gossiping about old people lol
Not really related to the question, but maybe it can help: I also study French in university. Actually when I was in high school I was thinking of choosing German because I liked it more and in middle school I didnít really like French, but in that period I totally fell in love with the French literature and since I wanted to learn more about, it I decided to pick French.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
If I give my word on something, Iíll be 100% responsible and do what I said. If you say that weíll meet at 10, Iíll meet you at 10. If I said Iíd do that particular task due to a specific day, that task weíll be ready for that day. And I expect the same from others.
If itís responsibility on a personal level, like ďIíll go to the gym 3 days a weekĒ well, IĎll be very loose.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
I wish I could go on vacation we didnít really have much of a tradition in my family regarding vacations, but luckily last year I went to visit a friend who lives in another city. When Iím in a vacation, I donít relax and I become more active than ever. I woke up every day at 7 am (and my friend had to do the same, poor thing) because I wanted to see as much as I could. For me vacation is more like exploration.
What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
Mmm, I think I was quite stubborn, I was quick to anger with my family, I couldnít blend in well with other kids. For example, once in primary school we were reading a book of jokes, I remember I didnít think they were funny so I said to my friend ďWhy are you pretending to laugh if itís not funny?Ē. I thought she was laughing just because everybody else was doing it. I was the kind of person who killed the mood maybe. Overall I think I changed a bit, Iím more focused on my inner world, probably softer. Now getting me real angry is hard and I hardly tell what I really think to another person.
What was your high school experience like?
I talked a lot about this in the previous questions. Bad from every point of view, I had a disastrous relationship with my classmates. I was a shy girl and I became the target of my classmates because I wasn't able to defend myself. Just to say, I still have dreams about school and every time I need to remember that that period ended.
Talk about a significant event from your life.
Another hard question. Iíll talk about the travel I mentioned above. Actually I wasnít thinking of having a vacation in that period. I was just very sad and you could say in a kind of rut. I was worried about my future, unsure about what I should do. My brother didnít help, for him Iím not good enough, my course is not good enough and Iíll definitely end up either jobless or with a stupid little part-time job. I think he criticised my lack of determination, my lack of action (actually heís like this because he doesnít want me to end up like him. He didnít accomplish anything material in his life, he doesnít have a stable job, so he wants me to do what he didnítÖ). The situation became so unbearable that I decided to go away for a couple of days. A friend of mine once said she would welcome me in her house for some days, so I asked her. But I realized I didnít like the idea of going to her house, with her parents, her brothers, the partners of her brothers etc. You could say I wanted to be alone, or at least not in another family setting. So I approached this other friend who lives far away. I didnít really tell her directly at first, I only said that the atmosphere in my house was unbearable and that I didnít know how to deal with brother, hoping she would come forward and ask me to visit her. When I realized she wouldnít ask that, after a moment of ďno one understands me, no one cares about meĒ, I decided to explicitly say that I was going to her city. She was happy to spend time with me and those couple of days helped me a lot. Even my brother calmed down. Being in a different environment, seeing new things, completely regenerated my mind.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
When I was younger I hated them, because they were too honest and blunt. Now, I think they need to be protected because they are innocent. Having kids is definitely not my priority, but if it happens Iíd take responsibility.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Iíd try to teach them everything I know, Iíd teach them to not hurt other people and also how to avoid getting hurt. I want my child to be a good person, aware of how the world works but also someone who can dream, have hopes and be optimistic. I would be affectionate to them, since I didnít receive a lot of gestures or expressions of love (I have shy parents, they donít really talk about emotions).
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
I think this happens when I do the same things every day. When I donít have much interaction with other people. When my days are the same, when I see always the same faces. After a while it gets tiring and I end up feeling even more lazy than I normally am. A tiny little change helps me a lot.
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
People as a whole? Scary lol A prevalent social problem is egoism. Now weíre all about defending ourselves, the borders, hating on people just because they are not part of the ďnormal groupĒ. I see hate and discrimination being normalized, now everyone can say whatever they want and theyíll hide behind the ďfreedom of speechĒ. There is almost zero empathy.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
I think I get annoyed. Iíd probably try to reconsider my way of dealing with that particular thing, get more serious about it and get more ďorderlyĒ. If people are involved, I'll call them out and push them to do their job properly.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
Iím comfortable if: the other people lack competence, donít understand the urgency of the problem. Usually, I take leadership where there is a problem I care about and when other people donít do anything or do it in a sloppy way. Otherwise, if it's not a problem important to me, Iím happy to leave the responsibility to someone else.
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
Iím enneagram 9w8 if this can help. I donít get angry that often (or at least I donít show it), but I can have sudden waves of rage that leaves me quite ďwtf was that?Ē. Usually I get angry when I feel that other people are trying to trick me or if they are being shady.
Some months ago the deliveryman left a package and my mother had to pay some money. I prepared the exact amount, but she called me because she wasn't sure of the money. At first I thought she was counting them again just to be sure, but then she said me that the guy asked for a different amount. Well, at that moment my first thought was that he was trying to get more money for himself and deceive us, so I aggressively reminded him of the exact amount. If I think back about that moment, maybe the guy just got the money wrong and now I believe he was not trying to deceive us, but I had that one second of blackout and I overreacted.
What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
The past week has been so miserable, itís hard to find a best thing lol Today I just heard I passed an exam, so I guess that was my best moment.
What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
These weeks have been weird so probably itís not really useful for typing, but the worst thing is that my dad is in a hospital and needs to have a surgery.
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
Having fun. Which doesnít necessarily mean going partying and getting drunk while dancing in the discoÖ itís just doing things that make me feel good and happy.
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
I havenít travelled that much, but Iíd say the city I mentioned before in the question about the vacation. I live in a small village where basically nothing exists, so seeing a city so full of life, with the subway, big buildings, all types of shops, museums, art etc. was amazing.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
When Iím at home I go with what feels comfortable, if I need to go out Iíll pay more attention. Itís not like Iím super stylish or elegant, but I also donít want to look as if I put on the first piece of cloth I found in my room.
Do you like surprises?
It depends, but Iíd probably lean on no. I like to know what is going on, so if I smell some ďconspiracyĒ Iíd try to find out what is it. All in all, itís very hard to surprise me.
Well, that was... long. I'm grateful to anyone who will read everything and decide to share their opinion. I'm ready to answer other questions or explain better if my answers weren't clear (and I probably made mistakes here and there).
In case you are interested in knowing more of my amazing personality, Iím gonna add other details that maybe will be helpful (I'll put it under spoiler bc I don't want this post to get too long).
PS: I know that videos are better than a written questionnaire, but making a video would make me extra stressed and nervous and it probably wouldn't give you a good insight on my personality :/