How can an IEI be useful to SLE? + Ego death side effect of Dualizing

[marooned]

i can idealize a few certain others a lot sometimes and it felt like it was really who they were and everything they represent, and in the comparison i would always (of course) be so dreadfully lacking. but it was really myself and all of my longings about myself, powerful enough to destroy me. it was easier for them to surface through projection.

i'm sure this is obvious and unhelpful, but it's what i was thinking

[Yesein]

i can idealize a few certain others a lot sometimes and it felt like it was really who they were and everything they represent, and in the comparison i would always (of course) be so dreadfully lacking. but it was really myself and all of my longings about myself, powerful enough to destroy me. it was easier for them to surface through projection.

i'm sure this is obvious and unhelpful, but it's what i was thinking

No, this is helpful I'm glad I am not alone in this complex.
It is self destructive, yes. It greatly halts self progress because all focus tunes into the idealized person, and you can painfully feel the missing pieces in yourself that this person is filled to the brim with.