Does anyone have experience with or observations about this ITR? Is it common? Harder to get into the relationship or harder to deepen it? What do you like & dislike
Does anyone have experience with or observations about this ITR? Is it common? Harder to get into the relationship or harder to deepen it? What do you like & dislike
I don’t know how it typically plays out, but I can share one interaction I’ve seen in case it’s helpful.
I had an SEE coworker who fell in love with an IEI who started working with us. The IEI was engaged and had a baby, but she obviously liked it when the SEE hit on her. The SEE wasn’t at all subtle; he acted like a drooling dog around her, and would make paper-thin excuses to be around her. The IEI encouraged it, but withdrew whenever he got too close or confident. I recall once she made an excuse to bend over and wag her butt in his face — she often would do things like that. When she left the department he was devastated and kept trying to get in contact with her. No idea how that turned out for him.
I don’t know about this one specifically, but from what I’ve seen semiduals usually like each other more (at least initially) and take more notice of each other than duals. That’s at least been my experience with rational types. I’m not as sure if that’s so with irrational types.
In general the xEE-xEI get together because of an ease of demonstration of feelings, which both of them take too seriously. Both people expect other people's feelings to be more steady than their own.
Subsequently, there is an accumulation of unresolved T problems that each person tries to solve by using his HA which hits the Polr of the partner. There is a feeling you can't really rely on each other and can't really help each other on thinking aspects. The interation on perceiving functions is great though
lol I don't take my feelings too seriously, but I do understand/value emotions well. I'm usually criticized for not taking them seriously enough tho.
Anyway- there is a SEE cashier that really liked me once, u could just tell. They are nice. To me, anyway- and if they do criticize me they are respectful/tactful about it and take my own vantage point in consideration when doing so. Even if it's only the appearance of being thought as a 'good person' in Te society (have to remember they are still Te valuers after all!), I admit I still appreciate that. Yay for manipulative 4D Fe!!
Both SEE/IEI kinda value people not being jerks in a sense, or at least the decency to realize that one *is* being jerk-ish. Both me and SEE seem to understand well when somebody is being arrogant and "full of it" or a patronizing bully etc. That's sorta a F thing in general but we have bonded over that. And it's just feelings of warm affection and love.
Not sure what you can really 'do' with it though as in reality it doesn't seem to pan out much other than 'I really like you!' but it is a simple sweet-ness that can be lost on the world. The world is harsh and brutal at times and sometimes you just need that raw pure love.
The dynamic is fine for the most part. Of course health plays into compatibility but overall, in the IEI's view the Se won't always be acceptable since the Se is being delivered through their SEE partner's Fi/Te lenses, and in the SEE's view the Ni won't always be acceptable since it's being delivered through their IEI partner's Fe/Ti lenses. This of course leads to misunderstanding on a cognitive level, even if you understand the reasoning otherwise.
On the purely ethical side it's fine for the most part (even though sometimes undeliverable as well) but yes, like lkdhf said, people will unwittingly hit the polr of their partner over and over again as time passes, which isn't pleasant on either side since this also leads to miscommunication and misunderstanding.
Socionics is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have, but I have it.
IEI-SEE friendship here. This friendship is 10+ years but it took a long time to get here. The challenge in this friendship is mostly around our Fe/Ti and Fi/Te lenses and understanding the process behind it. We're both more upfront about our thoughts, and I appreciate the SEE because they like direct communications. There is transparency between us so it just helps to know where we stand.
Friendships with SEEs are very easy to form for me. They approach me and then we stick together for a while. Then we take some distance but we do stay friends (or we become "buddies" at least).
My longest friendship is with an SEE actually. We met at school when we where 7. Now we're both 25.
SEEs have a way of staying loyal to me even after a long time not speaking to each other. I appreciate them a lot.
I have a good SEE friend. I can talk quite openly and she will be supportive and I don’t feel judged by her. We don’t get our wires crossed that much either. Different attitudes sometimes and I suppose we don’t always get what each other’s saying but it’s in an interesting way I think. We talk about arty stuff a lot and just life stuff in general. Rarely have ‘arguments’..We sometimes make each other laugh although she is funnier than me ha. Lovely person. Not quite the same with other SEEs but on the whole I like them
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 01-15-2021 at 01:21 PM.
One reminded me of two asteroids revolving around each other in space; there didn't seem to be enough gravity in the relationship to cause the IEI to implode or the SEE to feel trapped.
a.k.a. I/O
Pretty image.. yeah I relate