Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: I just want to be happy

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    178
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default I just want to be happy

    I just want to be happy. I can't express my feelings with anyone without being shamed. I just want to be understood. To feel a deep connection with someone. But I can not find that bond. I have lost all taste for life, all taste for what once made me feel joy and enthusiasm. I have lost all sense of purpose, and I cry as I write these words but I fear being perceived as ridiculous or being put down. But it feels good to cry. I fear losing my religious faith, for it is all I have left besides my financial and physical security provided by my mother. I will always be alone, no one will be there. I will never have children, and if I did, they would be the children of divorce, and years later, they would be accused of being the children of a so-called "sexual predator" by people like my brother, and thus be suspect to suspicion, that, God forbid, they be next. I hate myself. I hate my penis, I hate my feelings of love, I hate gender segregation and social norms. I miss the old me who would smile at life and give everyone a helping hand and get home in time to watch spongebob and study astronomy and biology and other subjects.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    178
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I hate the attitudes of 1st generation immigrants who I grew up with. Who made it that much harder to reach out and make american friends or dates. not that it was forbidden, but that's a long story.

  3. #3
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Maizistan
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    1,583
    Mentioned
    143 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    How old are you? Do you live with your mother?

  4. #4
    Enlightened Hedonist Subteigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    17,088
    Mentioned
    352 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    Take each day as it comes and make sure to keep doing the things that give you pleasure, within reason. Try exploring new things too, although that may be somewhat limited by the recent pandemic.

    I don't know how it is in your society but you must remain hopeful for the future and focus on the matters that are in your power to change for the better.

    There's no point hating yourself. Far better to hate the situation you are in and for you to do what you can to make life bearable and improve it.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    178
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I may also be going through withdrawal from nofap. @FreelancePoliceman I am 21. Yes, I live with my mother. I also have ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and other disorders so ive had trouble being independent.

  6. #6
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Maizistan
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    1,583
    Mentioned
    143 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
    I may also be going through withdrawal from nofap. @FreelancePoliceman I am 21. Yes, I live with my mother. I also have ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and other disorders so ive had trouble being independent.
    Do you have a job? It might be best to find something to keep you away from home and out in public. It's not good for someone to live long in the same environment they've known since they were a child.

    Also, may I ask why you aren't masturbating?

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    178
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Do you have a job? It might be best to find something to keep you away from home and out in public. It's not good for someone to live long in the same environment they've known since they were a child.

    Also, may I ask why you aren't masturbating?
    Religious reasons, also, I heard about the health benefits of not masturbating, and also, masturbating for me leads to looking at porn, and I morally disagree with it, since when it leads to me looking at rape scenes, which I got hooked on when I was young. Also, porn in general I find immoral, and for religious reasons as well as secular psychological ones. EDIT: Oh, and no I don't have a job, but I'm going to get one soon I hope. I'm completing a career diploma during my gap semester, and then completing a degree in psychology or economics. (I'm a little late so first i have to complete the junior college general education degree)

  8. #8
    Enlightened Hedonist Subteigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    17,088
    Mentioned
    352 Post(s)
    Tagged
    4 Thread(s)

    Default

    It won’t help you to keep your concerns to yourself although I fear in a conservative society that it could be deeply problematic if you contact the wrong people. I also don’t think this forum is ideal, as even one person can destroy your hope with toxic or poorly informed comments. But I hope there are numerous online communities well-suited to helping you resolve your perceived issues.

    I suggest you try to describe them as fully as you can to yourself - this may make them seem more manageable, and probably the first step to resolving them. You may see for example that there are things that aren’t really problems or that you can do little about, at least for the time being.

  9. #9
    FreelancePoliceman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Maizistan
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    1,583
    Mentioned
    143 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
    Religious reasons, also, I heard about the health benefits of not masturbating, and also, masturbating for me leads to looking at porn, and I morally disagree with it, since when it leads to me looking at rape scenes, which I got hooked on when I was young. Also, porn in general I find immoral, and for religious reasons as well as secular psychological ones. EDIT: Oh, and no I don't have a job, but I'm going to get one soon I hope. I'm completing a career diploma during my gap semester, and then completing a degree in psychology or economics. (I'm a little late so first i have to complete the junior college general education degree)
    When I was religious, masturbation made me feel terribly guilty. I tried not to as much as possible, and felt overwhelmed by lust constantly. When I gave in and masturbated it made me feel disgusted with myself. It was when I stopped worrying about it that my mental health began to improve drastically, as did my sexual self-control. Knowing I could masturbate when I liked meant I didn't feel overcome by an urge to do it whenever I could, and I became generally more relaxed about sex and able to think about any woman without incessant fantasies about banging her. Men are wired to seek sexual release frequently; while anything can become pathological, there's nothing inherently wrong with masturbation, and when you keep yourself from it, with no other outlet of sexual release, you'll go crazy. I don't think abstinence from masturbation is helping your sense of happiness.

    Also, if you do masturbate, you don't have to look at porn. Just imagine what you'd like to imagine. Go wild. There's nothing wrong with rape fantasies, and if you explore them and stop treating them as taboo, their hold on you weakens.

  10. #10
    End's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    TIM
    ILI-Ni sp/sx
    Posts
    1,133
    Mentioned
    167 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
    Religious reasons, also, I heard about the health benefits of not masturbating, and also, masturbating for me leads to looking at porn, and I morally disagree with it, since when it leads to me looking at rape scenes, which I got hooked on when I was young. Also, porn in general I find immoral, and for religious reasons as well as secular psychological ones. EDIT: Oh, and no I don't have a job, but I'm going to get one soon I hope. I'm completing a career diploma during my gap semester, and then completing a degree in psychology or economics. (I'm a little late so first i have to complete the junior college general education degree)
    I'd recommend talking to a Catholic Priest of the non-Jesuit/Liberal/Commie persuasion. The younger the better by the by. They are overwhelmingly more likely to belong to a more conservative/biblical world view. The works of Cardinal Sarah are also a great place to start. I found my own views reinforced by his opinions. Hell, to further add to my points, he even cites the times Francis the Crypto-commie actually made sense to my own shock!

    As we Catholics profess to present to the world "the truth" in the most absolute sense of the term it'd make sense that even a supposed enemy of it would nonetheless utter it despite that fact even if he sought to deny it. Satan does this as well by the way. For even if you do not believe, if we look real good and hard, it's patently obvious that the Devil is a most ardent and fanatical believer .

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Sep 2020
    Posts
    167
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    r/cringe

    check out Byron Katie.

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1,334
    Mentioned
    90 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Keep busy/moving with personal projects/goals/to dos.

    I notice when my days are empty, my mind tends to wander and think of depressing things; when I have a purpose/plan for my day, my mind is engaged and active. When my mind is engaged and active, the days feel more fulfilling and happier.

  13. #13
    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    TIM
    EII typed by Gulenko
    Posts
    4,689
    Mentioned
    325 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
    I just want to be happy. I can't express my feelings with anyone without being shamed. I just want to be understood. To feel a deep connection with someone. But I can not find that bond. I have lost all taste for life, all taste for what once made me feel joy and enthusiasm. I have lost all sense of purpose, and I cry as I write these words but I fear being perceived as ridiculous or being put down. But it feels good to cry. I fear losing my religious faith, for it is all I have left besides my financial and physical security provided by my mother. I will always be alone, no one will be there. I will never have children, and if I did, they would be the children of divorce, and years later, they would be accused of being the children of a so-called "sexual predator" by people like my brother, and thus be suspect to suspicion, that, God forbid, they be next. I hate myself. I hate my penis, I hate my feelings of love, I hate gender segregation and social norms. I miss the old me who would smile at life and give everyone a helping hand and get home in time to watch spongebob and study astronomy and biology and other subjects.
    I relate.

  14. #14
    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    3,777
    Mentioned
    105 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    'Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden of bliss without such trials as came to those who passed away before you?'
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

  15. #15
    a two horned unicorn renegade Chin Diaper 007's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    On a toilet, right above you
    TIM
    mb ILE-H🄯 LE
    Posts
    6,028
    Mentioned
    262 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Mastrubation, religion, spongebob... oh boy sounds like story of finding what to do with life that seeks get towards general purpose. So integration in this case seems to be a key.
    Uncertified public verbal executioner of ESI. Tickets will be available soon.
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type

    Your life is too short to actually do anything useful with it without being wasteful.

  16. #16
    shitposter extraordinaire
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    USA
    TIM
    ESI-Fi 6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    159
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    What in your life triggers these kinds of posts?

  17. #17

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    12,572
    Mentioned
    1149 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
    To feel a deep connection with someone. But I can not find that bond.
    1) study to feel good from the existing around and coming. your wishes is a part of that, so accept, express and follow them
    2) feel the personal traits of other human. accept them in your heart to become same as that other one. enrich your inner world by personalities of other people. not oppose them inside of you, but integrate as a part of you too

    by both approaches you will feel higher bonds with the reality and should to feel better due to higher its inner acceptance
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •